Chapter Fifteen

Cal

I had no idea how much time passed, while I was stuck in my head fighting off my warped nightmare of a son. He was winning, by the way. Until my brain kicked me out into memory. I'd never been happier to be laid belly up in the back of a cab bleeding out in my brother's arms as I was at that moment. I relaxed in the rocking of the cab, eyes drifting shut against the flashing of overhead streetlamps and halogen headlights. I couldn't feel Darkling inside me in the dream even though he still inhabited me during this moment in time, but I could feel the pressure of Niko's palm on my sucking chest wound. I could feel his other hand brushing over my hair. "Hang on, Cal." It was nice, but it didn't last long.

With a shiver and a jolt, I peeled my eyes back to view a rather nondescript drop ceiling. The kind one would find in any cheap house addition. Tilting my aching skull to one side I saw several vacant cots lined up like a make-shift hospital room. It seemed a little low-income for the Vigil so I doubted I was locked up and it also felt vaguely familiar. Rafferty's place, my numb brain told me. I would have thought my memory had continued, if it wasn't for the fact that I wasn't paralyzed to the bed to prevent the bad and evil inside of me from gnawing through my brother and Robin's extremities. I still couldn't feel Darkling either. Instead I felt the absolute knowledge that his existence was impossible. I was forever safe from the bastard.

I took in a heavy sniff and caught an array of smells, not as familiar as they should have been in this memory. Cleaner and disinfectant, sure. The husky smell of wolf, definitely. The lingering grease of an egg breakfast, a little strange since Raff rarely had much in his refrigerator. And the subtle scent of earthbound-flowers...that was when I decided I was still dreaming. Well, that and the fact that I no longer felt any pain in my fractured arm.

I was still in some sort of dream of limbo. In any second a pink elephant would lumber through the room, or the cot I was lying on would be lost at sea, or some deep-seeded fear of my father would take the form of a black wolf foaming at the mouth or...hell, take the form of my father period. Or Dante as a hell-bent creature that the Auphe would create.

I squeezed my eyes shut before I turned the other way, before I saw the body that was causing the mattress to sag at my hip and dance warmth along my side. I tried to determine if I wanted to subject myself to this pain. In desperate need to see her, my heart screamed to turn around, while my brain was demanding I wake up that instant. My son needed me. There wasn't time for this.

Her fingers brushed over my cheek, tucking several unruly strands of black hair behind my ear. "Are you that mad at me? So much so that you won't look at me?"

"I'm not mad at you, I'm mad that my life sucks this much. Seeing you right now is gonna fucking hurt and I don't have time for this," I whispered, surprised that I could feel the rumble of disuse in my throat. "I need to wake up."

I felt the bed creak under me as she braced one hand on the other side near my shoulder. I stared at it; petite little fingers of milky cream leading up a thin arm, flawless save for old scars of pale white and light pink. I wanted to touch it so badly and knew that I would feel the warmth of her as certain as I felt the tickle of her blond hair brushing against my collarbone. I hated these types of dreams, where everything felt so damned real.

"Cali," she whispered. The scent of Hawthorne tortured my nose with nostalgia. Memories of when that woody floral fragrance was so deeply ingrained in bed sheets it smelled like her for weeks after she left me...until Niko finally striped the bed with me still in it. "You're not asleep."

My brow twisted and I tilted my head to look at her. Every detail was the same as I remembered. Her bowed lips in a little sultry smile, her mahogany eyes filled with the promise of adventure and deep love, her round face listing to one side to reflect the scant light from the windows on subtle cheekbones, her long neck foreshortened to the surprising erogenous hallow above her clavicle...I narrowed my eyes. Along the bone, three incomplete lines shown in the shivery thick raise of new scars. They trailed under the collar of her shirt and crawled over her neck to her cheek. I lifted one hand to touch them, confused as to why my mind would create such an imperfection in dream. One that hadn't been there before.

Her skin was warm and inviting against my fingertips and her lashes fluttered at the touch of my hand. "You feel so real...it's not fair."

"I am real, Caliban. I'm not dead and the Auphe don't have our son. He's in the next room."

I snorted. Of course he was, this was a dream after all. Granted most of my dreams reflected my life, which meant they were horrible nightmares and sucked ass, but every now and then –like now– they were the nice ones where everything fell into place. To be honest with myself, I kinda needed one of these nice ones right now. I shifted the pressure of my hand to cup her cheek with my palm, one finger lifting to catch a loose tendril of auburn and gold. "I miss you."

She laughed; the sound tightened my lungs with an involuntary hiccup. "Cali, I'm right here. Please, realize...," she trailed off with a sigh, taking my hand from her cheek and placing it on her chest. I could felt the swell of scar tissue under the pads of two fingers, while my palm encompassed the steady thump of her heart and the curve of one breast. "What can I do to make you understand this isn't a dream?"

"Not a...I don't think a dream is supposed to convince me it's not a dream," I argued. And as far as dreams went, forget the pink elephants, this was freakin' weird. "You're dead." She slapped me, rather hard too. My head took a brief spin with the jarring motion and my jaw burned long after the contact. I blinked back the tears welling in my eyes. "Uh," I grunted and rolled my jaw. "Owww, what the hell?"

"Not a dream," she told me emphatically with a lift in her darker blond eyebrows. Okay, so that was starting to become a little clearer to me. Not a dream, got it. But what she was saying, her being here, didn't make any goddamn sense. I felt her die. I saw the destruction of the van, only the Auphe could do that. The Auphe or Cassie and once again, Cassie was dead. So what did that mean? I was hallucinating and Niko was slapping me out of it, or maybe the Vigil really did have me and this was some lab test, or she was a shapeshifter demon only she could adopt the image contrived from my memory. Shit, did something like that actually exist?

Her expression softened to amusement, sullen amusement, but it was still familiar. "I can hear the gears turning in your head, little lamb, and I think it might be counterclockwise so why don't you tell me what's going on up there?"

"What are you?"

"The half Auphe, half peri you had unprotected, science-enhanced sex with which resulted in a destructive little bundle of joy both myself and your brother apparently named Dante. If I didn't, personally, know just how straight you were I might worry about the whole brotherly love thing, considering the growing list of similarities between me and Niko."

I wrinkled my nose. "Ew." Then I shook my head free of that thought to concentrate on others more imperative. "How? How are you alive?"

"Long or short of it?" At my dubious look she smirked. "Rafferty."

Then the pieces started falling in place. I wasn't dreaming. Cassie was alive, because she somehow managed to die at the feet of a healer werewolf with a soft spot for half Auphes, which meant she was the reason they were coming to New York despite our warnings, and she could have very well been the one to take out the Lupa and tear apart the van like that. I lifted my eyes to meet hers, my own heart thundering in my chest as hers beat smoothly still under my palm.

"I'm here," she told me, Cassie told me. She touched her fingers to my cheek where she slapped me, gingerly drifting the tips over my still stinging jaw. "Rafferty saved me and he and Catcher brought me here. Ishiah told me what happened to Dante and I hunted those bitches down. Our son is wrestling with two unruly werewolf pups in the next room and I'm pretty sure he's winning. He's safe, everyone is safe."

My fingers twitched against the scars on her chest, palm sliding back up to follow the jagged lines to her neck. They were fresh, barely a week old and the fact that they were still rough spoke deeply of how devastating the wounds must have originally been. The Auphe had killed her. I wasn't wrong about that. That feeling of suddenly disconnecting with her was real, painfully real, and emphasized by the fact that I still didn't feel her heart beat with mine like I used to. "They killed you."

"Actually, they almost killed me. Rafferty was the one that stopped my heart so I didn't try to disembowel him when he patched me up, but for poetic license, yes, the Auphe killed me." Cassie leaned down over me so our eyes were almost too close to focus on the other's gaze. "But I'm back and I promise I will never leave you or Dante again."

"I still don't trust that you're actually real, but I'm going to kiss you anyway," I informed her and pressed forward to take her full lips before she could refuse or rebut. A little moan cascaded from her lips and I collected it between my own. I gripped her nape and parted our mouths with urgency. She didn't fight it, actually she invited me in with the same wanton desperation. By the time we separated her lips were dark pink and her cheeks rosy with the same arousal coursing through my veins. My hands danced over her throat, her shoulders, her chest, disbelieving. "Shit, you're alive..."

Cassie giggled, then grabbed me by the front of my shirt to lock our mouths together again. She was alive. Castiella was alive. I felt my hands drift over her body as it loomed, unconsciously touching every inch of her I could get to without separating from her lips. Everything that had been numb, what felt like only moments ago, was now set to hypersensitivity. I could feel the muscles in her back bunching when she curled over me, I could feel my pulse double-tapping in my chest, which had tightened to the point that when I was breathing it was a staccato pant. Her lips were like fire to mine, trailing over my jaw to my throat. Damn, she smelled so good. I tilted my face to bury my nose into her dark blond hair, taking in a deep breath of the Hawthorne flower mixed with the tang of shadows. Who was it that said I smelled like murder and shadows? Catcher, maybe. Cassie had a hint of that, just a taste of danger, and then that sweet, warm wildflower perfume.

"I believe I'm facing the most devastating decision of my life," I murmured, hands braced high enough on her ribcage that I could feel the curve of her breasts under my palms. I dusted a few kisses to her crown before she turned her head and our lips met again.

She grinned. "What might that be?"

"Throwing you down on the bed and having my way with you, or going to see my son's alright with my own eyes."

She snickered, dark eyes alight with mischief. Cassie skated her fingers through my hair and dropped one more kiss to my lips. "We probably shouldn't get into the former here."

I groaned in disappointment, even if I knew she was right. We would no doubt be interrupted here, if not by my brother or Goodfellow, by Rafferty who would probably be pretty pissed at us for desecrating his surgery. I pushed back on her torso, which my hands were still wrapped around, to give distance between us. I would still need a minute or two calm myself and Cassie seemed to know –of course with our bodies as close as they were I knew she felt it.

She slipped off the bed and winked at me as she exited the surgery through the swinging door, heading toward the kitchen area. The house was pretty quiet for as many people as were supposed to be here, which meant they were probably outside. I took my time easing into a sitting position. The pain in my arm and head was pretty much gone, save for the usual lingering headache from traveling (or attempting to as it were). I checked out my arm and was surprised to find it wasn't even bruised anymore. I squeezed at the bones. There was a little discomfort, as to be expected, but it wasn't much.

Shrugging it off, I scooted to the edge of the cot and grounded my feet to the clean tile floor. This still felt like a dream, even more so now that I was alone. I started down at one particular section of tile, fearing that (like in nightmares) black ooze would bubble up from the gout and white, foaming blood would congeal until Darkling stood before me cackling like a Phoenix reborn. I closed my eyes, to erase the thought. Not dreaming. Not dreaming, and that bastard was dead. I saw to that after he hijacked my body for weeks and tried to open a portal to the beginning of time to unmake the human race for the Auphe –among other awful things.

"Hey, sleeping beauty. Did you like Rafferty and Catcher's present?"

I glanced up, pulled from unsettling memories fitting back together in the web inside my head. Robin leaned against the threshold, looking pressed, clean and utterly exuberant. And why wouldn't he be? His best friend was alive again. It took my brain a second to catch up to what he said, mostly because thoughts of Darkling had triggered another chain of forgotten events to snap back into place. Rafferty and Catcher's present, which I assumed he meant Cassie, was the best gift in the whole world. I smiled at Robin.

"How does it feel to have your partner in crime back?"

The grin on his handsome face spoke more than he ever could, and that was saying something. He pushed off the threshold and continued in to the room. "I figured you might want a little background on what happened before you jump into the fray that is a werewolf barbecue outside." I snickered, but didn't stop him as he sat next to me on the cot. "I also figured that Cassie might not realize the extent of your distaste of this room. I know she would understand why, but sometimes there is vast truth to certain phrases and 'you had to be there' is one of them."

"Thanks, Robin," I muttered and ran a hand over the back of my neck. The spot where the dart hit was still a little tender, but I couldn't feel the puncture wound left by the needle, which had me assume Rafferty healed that too. "What the hell happened?"

"Well, as you saw, Cassie's alive. She apparently showed up on the beach where the werewolves were hiding out. They'd though it was you and how could they not? Violent gate, blood everywhere, half-dead body, if that isn't Caliban Leandros I'm not the greatest lover known to this world."

I glared. "You aren't the greatest lover known—"

Goodfellow laughed uproariously and patted me on the knee. "Well, you would have no concept of the invalidity of that statement, so I forgive you, but that doesn't change the fact that you are wrong." I gave up; I debated on needling back with the fact that Cassie wouldn't have any concept of the invalidity or validity of that statement either, just to poke fun at him for his epic failure in trying to coerce my girlfriend into his bed, but decided I wanted to find out what happened more than I wanted to cut Robin's ego. "Regardless, the healer saved her, housed her, and once they found out she had a son and you were the father, carted her up to New York for the reunion of a lifetime. Cassie went to Ishiah when she couldn't find you, who filled her in on...the events that got Dante kidnapped and off she went. Remember when Niko and I told you how pointless it would be to drive around the city until we saw the van? Well, apparently we were wrong. She did exactly what I thought was useless just at a different elevation; she flew around the city until she caught wind of her son, then promptly tore into the bitches that took him."

"The Wenca kid?" I asked, then as an afterthought with a deep growl in my throat, "Delilah?"

"Delilah hightailed it when Cassie sliced a gate through that Jeep and her faithful servants. And the young girl's name is Siobhan," Robin corrected me; he wasn't surprised I didn't bother to learn the kid's name. "She is home, safe and sound. Catcher and Cassie took her back and collected the payment for you, even if it would seem they should keep the bounty considering they completed the job."

I grinned. "Well, I believe half of Cassie's estate belongs to me now, so..." I could see the light in Robin's eyes change from playful amusement to near glee. He lips parted to start off on his constant prattling, but I cut him off. "That was a joke, do not start planning a wedding."

He snapped his mouth shut, still smiling secretively. "I do know a Baykok that's ordained. Quite fitting to since he looks frighteningly like the Auphe, just taller, bald, and less psychotic, but it would probably make the out-of-town relatives feel more at home."

"So Catcher and Cassie came back here with Dante when they were done?" I interrupted, changing the subject as fast as I could. Marriage –legal, paper-filing, marriage– was pointless. Hell, I didn't even know if I had a birth certificate; most Roms preferred to stay out of the medical system and legal system. And I knew Cassie predated anything governmentally-binding for sure. The spiritual act was just as lost on me considering I didn't believe in God, Allah, or any god that might be up there. Because if there was a greater power he/she/it was an asshole. The final step of marriage, the one that I never understood until I met Castiella, was one that still frightened me. The need to be with someone for the rest of your life, the thought that life would be much less bearable without them. I had that with Niko, but he was blood. He was my brother. Cassie...was something else.

"They walked in after Niko and I dumped your conscious body here. Your brother was a bit adamant on keeping you unconscious for a time, believing you might try to gate the moment you woke, or even do so subconsciously."

I tilted my head in consideration; that was entirely possible, especially with the nightmares revolving through my brain. "He was nearly screaming at Rafferty to put you under, when the little one toddled into the room and against his legs. It was really a beautiful reunion. A shame you slept through it." Still with the same cat-with-the-canary smile, Robin stood from the cot and offered a hand to help me up. "And just so you know, she did try and find you after Dante was born. Only you didn't remember your shoe size let alone the love of your life at the time."

I blinked up at the puck, processing those last words a little more slowly. "She came..." I rewound the weeks I was stuck in the small town in South Carolina, working in a mom and pop diner, and wearing gingham aprons. With sudden vigor I remembered her. She sat in one of the back booths, disheveled, bruised and looking a little homeless. Memory-less Cal assumed she was a lone druggie in a town of too-nice morons, but she had kept watching me. Pleading for me to come over, pleading for me to save her with those dark mahogany eyes. And it took everything I had to ignore her, because, without memory, the urge to rush to her side and jump in the pit of danger she was in seemed ridiculous. I had thought it was a shame since she looked pretty cute, but I hadn't remembered how much a frickin' loved her. "Shit."

"I take it you remember."

I paused, racking my brain for more detail in the memory. "She was alone." She had been alone, scared, and hurt. "The Auphe had him."

Robin nodded a bit soberly. "Long enough that half the sounds out of his mouth seem more Auphe than human, do they not?" I had to process that too, but he was right. Dante rarely made much of a fuss, but when he did he sounded like a grumpy Auphe.

"They're outside right now, but it's a bit of an ordeal so take your time assimilating here. Rafferty and Catcher have collected quite a pack and if I'm right, and you know well I can not be wrong regarding matters of the heart, I believe one of the females is the healer's mate. And if that is the case, he's now the proud step-father of two twin munchkin werewolves."

And that concept was almost harder to process than Cassie being alive. Almost. Rafferty never struck me as a family man, at least not with kids. His bedside manner was non-existent, though his gruff ways did remind me of some comedic tv dads. I shook my head to clear it of idle thoughts and ran my hands over my face. "Okay. Cassie and Dante are safe. You and Nik are safe. Raff and Catch are safe. Promise?" Robin chuckled and laid his hands on my shoulders.

"She'll be by after night fall. We are all safe, Cal. No Auphe attacks. The Lupa pack is down to a humble few. And the love of your life is playing outside with the fruit of your loins. All is well in the world," he gave a squeeze to my shoulder. "Take in a few deep breaths, Caliban. Things worked out."

I brushed him off and glared. "Really? Delilah got away, again. Tell me what you think that might mean? And the Auphe are still hunting for my son. And Cassie will become a target for them when they see she's alive. And now Delilah knows Cassie's half Auphe and I have no idea what she'll do with that information—" With a roll of green eyes, Robin cut me off by hauling me up from the cot by my arm. He shoved me in front of him, forcing me out of the surgery all the way through the back door and onto the porch.

Rafferty's backyard was huge and butting against a wildlife reserve with only a high, thick, wire fence to separate. He'd put that up when Catcher was still wolf and sometimes forgetting he'd been anything more than that. But now the ruddy haired werewolf looked perfectly comfortable back in his human form next to his cousin. He was taller than I imagined, but then all I had to go off of were a couple of pictures where he was either in a few feet of snow or wrapped in a hug with a much smaller werewolf. He was handsome too, like his cousin, both of them had an unkempt look and it worked for them. Catcher's auburn hair was a bit more styled, his clothes a little less careless, and his smile much more mirthful and ostentatious.

The pack they had accumulated wasn't very large, but it was still surreal to see anyone subjecting themselves to the Jeftichews. Especially strange, since one of the pretty females was looped around Rafferty's arm with more than affection reading between them; I supposed Robin was right about that one. Seeing two little boys rolling around in the excessively overgrown grass made the sound of wrestling puppies on the phone make more sense. They were bound to get some ticks, but I doubted they cared.

My brother looked up when I stepped out onto the porch; Dante was on his hip, little hands fisted in his trench coat like it was a security blanket. His big gray eyes fixed on me in a split second and those arms stretched out, a musical, "Daa!" caroling across the lawn.

Goodfellow hadn't been kidding about the barbecue either. Cassie was over by a smoking grill with a pack of mostly unfamiliar nonhumans, legs crossed as she sat on an old stump and the smile on her face as coy as the one that drew me to her on our first meeting behind Ishiah's bar. Catcher was at the grill joking merrily; even Rafferty looked in better humor. The female Robin had coined as Raff's mate was close to his side, but not suffocating his personal space. She seemed around his age, stood with a certain confidence that came with going at it alone and succeeding. It wasn't arrogance by any means, I could tell when she smiled at Rafferty. There were two other adults in addition to my brother, my lover and my boss. Both relatively humanoid with only a few strange features that would make the knowledgeable second guess their origins.

The blond male had been in the middle of a highly gesticulated story when I appeared. He stopped almost immediately, dropping his hands after a moment, then looked toward my brother holding Dante. "You weren't kidding, that kid looks exactly like him."

Dante continued to fuss with little half sounds that, just as Robin said, were a little more than human. The puck clasped his hands around my shoulders again, this time from behind as he leaned down to my shorter height. He wasn't exactly whispering in my ear, but the close quarters made me tense. "Look at him," he told me and I did, watching Niko place the boy in the overgrown jungle that was Rafferty's back yard. Dante gamely started toddling over to me, tripping only because the grass was so dense. "You made that."

I couldn't control the small smile that tugged at my mouth at those words. "I did."

"You made that with the most amazing female either of us has ever known. She is yours and he is yours." Robin paused to ruffle my hair. "I think it might be better to concentrate on that instead of the negativity that usually teems from your soul. Right now, in this moment, your life is pretty damn amazing."

I took in a deep breath through my nose and turned my head to give the puck a sidelong look. More often than not, I would do so with disgust or irritation, or just plain anger, but this time I tried my damnedest to show him how much I appreciated his words. I think he got it too, since he smirked at me like a proud peacock.

I slipped away from him and down the first few steps of the porch; the wood was pretty gnarled and I didn't really want to be picking splinters out of my son's bare knees and hands. He trilled at the upward motion of me scooping him up and without hesitation curled his round head against the curve of my neck. I felt a tightness in the back of my throat, but refused to let it escalate to wet eyes. All eyes were on me and I already knew the expression on my face erased any intimidation I might be able to muster among them. Not that I needed to. Rafferty and Catcher were pretty laid back considering their race and from the sparsely worded postcards the rest of their crew seemed just as adamant on avoiding the power-hungry struggles of the Kin as I was. Still a contented smile was out of place on my lips and the warm body that draped over my chest was awkward yet welcomed.

Cassie had slipped off the rotted log and limped over to stand abreast with my brother as I made my way into the thick grass. Hn, I hadn't noticed her limping before…that called for a full body inspection later. I wanted to see what those bastards did. Fuel the already white-hot hatred I had for our hell-spawn relatives. I touched a hand to Nik's arm, telling him without words that there were no hard feelings for what happened or even what Niko had, no doubt, been planning on doing if I woke up before I found out it was Cassie that had collected my son and not the Auphe. He would have done what had to be done to keep me safe. As much as I didn't agree, as much as I valued his and Dante's life over mine, I still respected his decisions.

It had been for the best anyway. If I had traveled to Tumulus to retrieve my son, I probably wouldn't have made it back. I would have been lost there, searching desperately for something they didn't have. I would have gone insane without Cassie to ground me or Dante to give me purpose. Niko would have lost his brother and for nothing. Dante was safe in his mother's arms and I would have been dead.

Cassie didn't wait for me to turn to her. With one hand to Dante's chubby cheek and the other to my scruffy one, she pressed up on her toes and took my mouth. Just like inside the surgery the sensation sent my heart to beat a little fast. It was something I never thought I'd feel again. I buckled a little under the intensity of emotions I usually tried to shove as far down as I possibly could, sometimes farther down that the repressed memories of Tumulus. She braced her hand to my shoulder for support as I knocked my forehead to hers, closing my eyes and taking in the affecting scents of Hawthorne, Foxglove, and inky shadows. "I love you."

"I love you too," Cassie whispered in return, slipping her fingers through the hair at my temple and around the shell of my ear. Her fingertip tripped over the jagged crescent taken out of the cartilage, causing a little bit of pain and setting my neck muscles to tense for a moment. She paused –I felt a crinkle in her forehead– then tilted her head to inspect the wound. She didn't need me to tell her what happened; it obviously looked like a wild animal had taken a bite out of me and three guesses as to which one. "That bitch is going down."

I snorted –glad to hear she didn't have the same uptight views as my brother regarding cursing around our son. "I don't care if you still have feelings for her, Cal. I'm sorry. What she did was beyond redemption. I'm not letting her live to try and hurt you or Dante again." I bent and kissed her again, mostly to silence her. I let my gaze, flickering to each of her mahogany eyes, telling her just how much I agreed. Any lingering affection I might have had for Delilah, burned like tissue paper the moment she focused on Dante. What she gave me didn't come close to the fury she created inside me when she threatened him, when she blackmailed me for him, and when she took him. Cassie smiled, brushing her fingertips a little more gently over the shell of my damaged ear. "Good. It's settled then."

Dante interrupted the intimate moment, by gathering a fistful of Cassie's long hair and tugging. He gurgled a sound that vaguely resembled mamma and listed dangerously out of my arms. His shifted weight made me falter, but Cassie caught him under his armpits and lifted him out of my arms and against her own hip. He snuggled against her neck the way he had mine, nuzzling like a cat would mark its master. She didn't take her eyes off of me though, boring into my being like she could read everything running through my head. I wished her luck with that; I certainly couldn't make sense of it all.

"We'll make this work, Caliban." She wrapped her free hand around my shoulder where it met my neck and squeezed at the knotted muscles there. "This thing of darkness we acknowledge ours, right?" I bent to brush my lips over hers one last time before it became annoyingly awkward for our audience.

"You should have told Niko." I was still a little angry about the whole dumping my son on me like a special delivery. Not entirely her fault, but she basically hid him from me. I might not have been in sound mind (or memory) when she reached out to me, but that didn't change the fact that Niko was of sound mind and memory. "Even if you thought I was being an unemotional bastard and that I hated you, you still should have told Niko. There was no reason for you to have been alone in this as long as you were."

"You mean there was no reason I should have kept this from you," she countered. There wasn't any terseness in her tone. She felt guilt over the omission, but she wasn't about to let me play the victim. Normally that would get me smiling, since she was obviously confessing her regret with an eye flicker and demur posture, but I wasn't going to buy it. She was adorable and I loved her, but there was no way she was getting off with a simple slap on the wrist for this. She wanted to call me out, I would return the favor.

"Both," I admitted. "You lied to me by keeping this secret without good reason. I hate the fact that you went through hell to protect him; I wish you hadn't done in on your own, but whose fault was that? Yes, I'm angry that you didn't warn…inform me that I was a father, but more than that it was dangerous for him. Going at it alone is one thing, and something that I never wanted you to do in the first place if you remember correctly, then you add my son on your suicidal mission? Without telling me. Without trying a little harder."

"Hey, hey, down boy," I shot Catcher a glare at the interruption. I hadn't even noticed him leave the grill to the blond werewolf and approach us. He was standing directly behind Cassie now, holding a hand up in a placating manner. "She's been through enough these last few days. Keep in cool."

"Keep it cool?" I snapped. "You remember who you're talking to, Benji?"

Catcher's eyebrows drew tight above his amber eyes in a dark slash and he tilted his head to one side in warning. "Don't attack her."

My temper, which had been simmering like embers, flared at the verbal kerosene Catcher just doused on it. I raked my eyes over him, watching his body language, noticing now that he had a hand to the small of Cassie's back in support, recalling the gleeful, goofy grin on his face when my girlfriend was just a touch away. My jaw clenched and my fists soon followed. "You've known her for, what, three days? You don't know what you're talking about."

"Maybe there are things you don't know either, Caliban. I'm just saying that it's been a rough week for all of us and pointing fingers isn't going to help."

I felt my brother circle around behind me, sliding a hand over my shoulder and squeezing like Castiella had only he meant it in the same manner Catcher did. 'Calm down, Cal' seemed to be the general consensus now. And a world of no to that. I rolled my shoulder to shrug Nik off and bared my teeth at Catcher. "Take your hand off my girlfriend's ass and stop drooling for her affections."

I blush rocketed over the ruddy-haired werewolf's cheek bones and his hand jerked away from Cassie's back. It wasn't her ass, I knew she wouldn't allow that, but the impact was made. Cassie colored a little as well, though hers was a pallid hue. I thought I heard her breathe my name in admonishment, but Catcher's fumbled retort overshadowed it. "Pardon me for showing her the benefits of a lover that isn't a complete ass."

"Nah, just a complete dog. Weren't you after the last one too? Oh, yeah all over Delilah. You have her now by the way. Just know that she tried to shoot your ass while you hightailed it into doggie-land back in Yellowstone and if it weren't for me you'd probably be fashioned in a new pair of winter boots—"

"Enough," Cassie snapped at me. I spared her a glance, then gave her a look a little more lingering. Her eyes were battling between blazing gold and lava red; apparently I had triggered both sides of her temper. Dante fidgeted in her arms, uncomfortable in the situation, because he understood her single syllable word as well as I did; if it were actually in English it would have been two syllables. I swallowed and took a step back. Nothing like being chided in the Auphe's language to have me tuck my tail between my legs. I didn't apologize, but I did shut my mouth and that seemed to be enough for Castiella.

She shifted Dante to her other hip, then, when Nik offered, handed the toddler off to someone less fuming. Without a word, Niko carried Dante back into the house and away from the displaced animosity. I would admit that it was displaced; I wasn't mad at Catcher. Well, I was annoyed that he had his eye on the love of my life, but he didn't seem the type of guy to horn in when it was obvious I was in love with her. My witty verbal lashing was due to everything else, most of which didn't concern Catcher at all. Losing Cassie, losing Dante, those damned garbled memories that kept painfully returning, they were the reasons I was upset.

Cassie took my hand and guided me up the porch steps. She took a moment to berate Catcher over her shoulder as well, hissing something that sounded like, "What did I tell you?" He wilted under that scrutinizing gaze, which was probably still flashing red and gold like an inferno. Cassie took me to the far end of the porch away from prying eyes, though I knew the wolves could probably hear the conversation if they so desired. She said nothing to me at first, just yanked me around by my wrist to face her and waited. When I didn't say anything, when I didn't know what to say, she pressed her full lips together and her shoulders dropped in defeat. "Well? Go. Tell me what's really bothering you because I know it isn't Catcher hitting on me."

"Is that all he's done?" I asked, well aware that I sounded like a jealous boyfriend. Her lips parted in hurt and the emotion painted across her features in a very telling manner. I straightened, certainly not expecting that. It wasn't like Cassie and I had pledged our undying love and loyalty to each other, but still—

"Stop it," Castiella hissed and smacked at my arm, cutting off my train of thought before it brought on more jealous rage. She hit the previously injured arm, which actually left me with a little twinge up to my shoulder; apparently, Raff hadn't healed it one hundred percent. "I can see where your mind is going. Yes, he's made it clear he has those intentions, but he hasn't pressed it. He knows I love you. You hear me? I love you." She clasped her hands to my jaw to stop me from glaring at Robin, who I saw leaned casually against the railing several feet down from us. He had his arms crossed over his chest, probably making sure I didn't act rashly.

"Caliban, I love you. And I was so stupid for ever leaving you." I snorted, but it died quickly when I met her eyes. Back to mahogany and diffused with tears. "I was only trying to protect you and you're right, instead I almost got our son killed for my self-deprecating belief that you hated me. I'm sorry…"

And just like that, the fight left me. It was always like a roller coaster with Castiella. Up and down, left then right. We would be laughing in the morning, arguing and storming out in the afternoon, and screwing like rabbits by the evening. I didn't know if it was just the way we were together or if it was due to the stress we were often under, but I still loved every second of it. Well, almost every second. Her leaving me was not the best of times.

I had no clue what to say to her. An apology refused to leave my lips with damned good reason. She shouldn't have left, I told her in so many ways what a stupid idea that was and she ignored me. And she should have told me about Dante, memories or no. But I couldn't deny the fact that I wasn't there for her either. Not my fault, mind you, but it was still a fact. I couldn't imagine what it had been like for her; suffering through nine months with a life not yet born in her hands and the Auphe breathing over her shoulder and then getting no break or relief when he was a tiny baby in her arms, completely vulnerable and dependant on her and only her. She'd been alone and scared.

I didn't pull her hands away from me, instead slipping my own around her ribcage to guide her closer. "We aren't the best parents, we never will be. We'll fuck up again and again, but right now, I think all I need to know –for sure– is that you will be with me. Because I don't want to do this without you. I can't do this without you."

With a little smile tugging at the corner of her mouth, she collapsed into me. Her fingers drifted down my neck and over my chest to settle loosely around my hips. The sensation left an obvious tingle throughout my body and I felt her smile against my collarbone. "So we're done with this argument? I should have come to you again, I should have tried harder, but you didn't make me feel very welcome or supported. I was alone and you were oblivious."

"And next time I say I don't want you to leave?"

She lifted her head; that slightly wicked smirk now in full play on her lips. "Oh honey, at this point it doesn't matter if you say you do or you don't, I'm not going anywhere."

And that was all I needed to hear. I bent to take her mouth, wanting so much more from her at that moment, but knowing damned well I would get bludgeoned if I tried any of the deliciously naughty things running through my head. I didn't even care that Goodfellow was still watching. Not one bit ashamed.