Perry the Platypus hesitated in front of the young woman's door. He had never done anything like this before. Sure, he had been present for several of Linda and Lawrence's parental talks; sure, every member of the Flynn-Fletcher family had, at one point or another, dragged Perry off somewhere to cuddle and share secrets. But those were passive moments. As interested or worried as Perry may have been he felt as though, in those situations, he could easily be replaced by a reflection in a mirror or a Ducky Momo plushie. Heinz may confide in him, but that was different. Those were fantastical stories of events long passed, and Perry usually at least pretended to be annoyed during them.

With a deep breath, Perry softly knocked on the door.

"I'm not ready to talk to you yet, Dad." She sounded sad, but she wasn't sobbing or yelling. That was a good sign, right? Perry chattered to reveal his identity.

"P... Perry?" Vanessa called softly. Perry heard some shuffling, and then a quiet "Come in."

The platypus had never seen her room before. The space was dark and punk, yet still feminine. Dark leather-bound books and peculiar antique dolls lined the shelves, skulls and other haunted imagery could be detected on several of the nick-knacks, and Perry thought he could even see a few steam-punk elements. However, the rug under his webbed feet was soft, and the duvet looked comfy, and the bed was topped in a lovely lace canopy. Somehow Vanessa had managed to make the eclectic style work.

Vanessa sat cross legged on her bed, holding a pen in one hand and wiping at her eyes with the other. Perry could see the edge of a journal sticking out from under a lacy black pillow. The two looked at each other for a moment, both unsure of what was happening and where to start. Finally, Perry gave the girl a sympathetic look and tilted his head.

"Oh, yeah. I'll be fine." Vanessa lied. "You can go tell Dad I'll be out in a bit. Go... enjoy your dinner."

Perry shook his head and took a few steps toward the bed in the hope of encouraging the teen to communicate.

"It isn't a big deal, Perry. Besides, you wouldn't understand." When Perry refused to budge, Vanessa sighed. "Fine, if you want to talk that badly. Why don't you hop on up here so you can make yourself comfortable while I bear my soul."

Ah, the Doofenshmirtz sarcasm. Perry knew she had more of her father in her than she cared to admit. Perry hopped up onto the bed anyway and situated himself across from the girl. When he was comfortable he looked at her expectantly.

Vanessa's phone vibrated in the corner. She ignored it.

"Really, Perry. I'll be fine. I just have a lot going on right now. Go join Dad. You don't need to waste your time dealing with me."

This was the umpteenth time Perry had heard Vanessa refer to helping her as a "waste of time." What had gotten into her?

"It's just..." Vanessa began suddenly." I... I just... it isn't any one thing. I have a lot going on. And Norm made me mad. And... and then Dad went overboard, and I took it out on him. You probably think I'm a real witch, getting mad when he's just... trying... to be nice."

Perry shook his head and reached out to pat her hand. She continued.

"Mom has been seeing Sam a lot ever since they got engaged. And I mean a lot. She's out four nights a week at least! She comes home real late, and she doesn't even bring me any leftovers from all these nice places she's been going! I have to make my own dinner and you know I'm a terrible cook!"

Her phone vibrated again. She ignored it and continued.

"And on the nights when they don't go out, Sam comes over! I get that they're in love, but come on! And she makes the fanciest things for him. I mean, you can really tell she's been taking cooking lessons! And they hardly even acknowledge I'm there, Perry! I feel like a third wheel at my own house! I know Mom loves me, but I feel like I'm being pushed away. Like she's somehow telling Sam, 'Oh, this is my teenage daughter from my previous marriage with a crack pot. Don't worry about her, she'll graduate soon and leave the nest. Then we can start over!' I know its irrational to think that, but sometimes I do."

Perry wore a look of sympathy. He was beginning to see why she had blown up earlier.

"Perry, can I tell you a secret? Can you not get mad?"

The monotreme nodded. She could tell him anything.

"I like you. A lot. You've always been nice to me, even when I wasn't nice to you. You're always honest with me, and you've done a lot to help me out. You might be a Secret Agent animal, but you're also... kind of part of the family."

Vanessa's phone buzzed a third time. Again she ignored the device.

"And you're probably the best thing that has ever happened to my Dad. Don't try to deny it with some sort of 'No, of course not! You are!' nonsense, Perry! My Dad needs someone to ground him a bit. To make sure he doesn't actually hurt himself or others. To let him enjoy the thrill of being an evil inventor every day without having to face the real life consequences. You give him goals and dreams, give him something to look forward to every day. You are what keeps him from dying of loneliness: he needs you."

"I used to hate you for it."

There was a long, silent pause.

"Earlier in the kitchen, I felt emotions that I haven't had since I was thirteen and you first became Dad's nemesis. I thought I was over all this stuff. I guess all this irritation with Mom must have brought it back for a moment."

"After the divorce, Dad was sad all the time. Always sad. And while I hated that he was so sad, it made me happy that I could cheer him up. Yeah, he could be overbearing and annoying, but he was my Dad, and only I could make him happy. On his weekends with me he would shower me with his undivided attention. At the time I thought I hated it. But then you came along and everything changed again."

"Suddenly he was scheming on the weekend. Suddenly he was thinking about traps and -Inators and evil while he was spending time with me. His phone calls started with a 'Guess what Perry the Platypus did today!' and he started trying to convince me to become his evil apprentice so that I could join in on your fun. I wasn't the only important person in his life anymore and, because you had more opportunities to spend time with him, I felt that you meant more to him than me. I was jealous of you."

"Don't feel bad, Perry. I've been over it a long time, and it was stupid to remember it today."

Perry didn't know how to respond. He wished he had known this at the time so that he could have erased these doubts. Perry had never wanted to drive a wedge between the father and daughter. In fact, he wished they had more opportunities to spend time together.

Vanessa's phone vibrated again. It seemed the teen could put the unknown contact off no longer, for she angrily slid off the bed and headed for the charging station. "I'm sorry, Perry, but I should take this."

"Hello?-"

"Yes, but I'm at Dad's place. I can't-"

"No. Well, maybe still a bit mad. I know we were arguing, but that was uncalled for.-"

"You called him a 'Pig-bellied, chicken-legged freak! How was I supposed to take that?-"

"Yeah, well... that insult was true!-"

"Alright, I guess tomorrow night will be fine. Beats cold cuts, anyway.-"

"Goodbye, Monty."

So Vanessa and Monty had had another quarrel. Perry wasn't surprised. The two had gone on a few dates here and there before deciding to become a couple, and now they tended to break up every couple weeks. They were the definition of "on again, off again."

Perry knew it was a difficult relationship for a variety of reasons. Obviously there was the element of secrecy. Both still refused to tell their fathers, and Vanessa even refused to tell her mother for fear that she would accidentally tell Heinz. There was also the age gap. Vanessa was 16 and a junior at Danville High. Monty was 19 and a freshman at AWCA, the Academy Without a Cool Acronym. Sometimes Monty would forget that Vanessa had less world experience than he did.

Vanessa had told her monotreme confidant on more than one occasion, "If I ever date a younger guy, I'll never make the same mistakes Monty does!" Perry always thought of Ferb, nodded, and smiled.

"That was Monty." Vanessa said unnecessarily as she returned to her spot on the bed. "I've been going out to dinner with him some nights when Mom is out. She doesn't know, but I doubt she'd care. As long as I'm back by 11:30 she'll never know."

This was a new development, and Perry didn't know that he approved. He wasn't a prude- he didn't care what Vanessa did with her boyfriends as long as it was safe, consensual, and discrete enough to go unnoticed by Heinz- but sneaking out of the house at night was an unsafe habit to fall into. Perry trusted Monty, but the notion of Vanessa sneaking about the city at night with neither parent aware of her location made him uneasy.

Vanessa and Monty may fight a lot, but the monotreme knew they were very fond of each other. They both had similar taste and a desire for action and excitement. Vanessa enjoyed being able to tell her high school friends she was seeing a grown-up college boy, and Monty liked telling his Academy friends that he was seeing a mad scientist's beautiful daughter. It was a win-win scenario when they weren't verbally ripping each other to shreds.

"On the subject of boys..." Vanessa began. For having not wanted to speak in the first place, the teen seemed glad to have an opportunity to get things off her chest. Perhaps Perry should try to have private chats with her more often.

"-ever since Johnny and I broke up my social life has been going haywire. We had a lot of the same friends, and now they've all taken sides. Sometimes I feel like Lacey is the only person who agrees with me! He was so immature, Perry, and he was always going places without even thinking to invite me. I'm not taking him back, no matter how many notes he sticks in my locker!"

There was another brief pause. Perry wondered if the girl was going to continue talking about boys or bring up a new topic.

"Perry... about what I told you earlier... you aren't mad at me, are you?" Perry smiled, shook his head no, and reached out to hold her hand.

"You know I really don't still feel that way. You make Dad happy, and I shouldn't be so selfish of his time away from me. I don't know why seeing that feast he made for you triggered all the old feelings, maybe because Mom only really cooks when company is coming over so that I can become more responsible or whatever, but seeing him do nice stuff to impress you shouldn't make me so- why are you shaking your head like that?"

The monotreme mimed cooking, pointed to himself, and shook his head again.

"What?"

Perry repeated the action.

"You mean it really was for me?"

Perry nodded solemnly.

"But that doesn't make any sense! Why is tonight so special?" The platypus waited for her to remember her father's words. "Wait, he said something about it being a school night but... oh. Oh. I've never stayed over on a week night, have I? I didn't even think of that. And now he's making a huge deal about everything because he thinks it is significant and..." Vanessa began to laugh, but stopped when a distinctly Doofenshmirtz cackle escaped her lips.

"Oh, this is too much! Of course, only my Dad would turn this into a huge thing. Oh well, I guess we should get out there before Dad worries himself to death."

Before Perry could stand, Vanessa reached over and grabbed him, pulling him in for a tight hug. "Thank you for listening, Perry. I feel a lot better."

Perry chattered affectionately and hugged the girl back. Then she sat him on the floor and they made their way back to the kitchen. Heinz and Norm were arguing over the crunchiness of pan-roasted potatoes when they entered.

Heinz's face lit up when he saw that Vanessa looked happy. The father and daughter both shared hugs and apologies. When they were done, Vanessa took her seat and Heinz ran to grab a tray. The last of the food on the over crowded table, Heinz gave Perry a grateful look before yelling, "Dig in!"