A/N: I have finals, but I managed! It's mainly dialogue, but I still thought it worked. Not my best work, but one of my favorite episodes.
"I cannot believe Robbie drank this stuff."
Jade grimaced as she peered into the filthy depths of Beck's fish tank.
"I know. I'm expecting a call from his Mamaw any minute now to inform me that he's dead."
"Not just him. How the hell have these things not died before?"
"Not a single idea. They're just survivors, I guess. Like superheroes."
"What kind of superheroes take the form of goldfish?"
"Well, there's a Captain Koala. He's a superhero."
"I'm pretty sure Captain Koala isn't a real superhero."
"Yeah, it is! I'll prove it to you!"
The couple were spending the day under the blistering sun. Barefoot and swimsuit-clad, they were both attempting to rinse of Beck's mess of a fish tank on his driveway under the blazing heat of a Saturday afternoon.
"No need," she stopped him from googling 'Captain Koala' on the PearPad.
Although he was stopped from proving his point, Beck debated his point further. "Besides, a goldfish is less conspicuous. No one would suspect a innocent goldfish."
Jade snorted. "They're far from innocent."
"How so?"
"Well, for one thing - they watch us. We've disgraced their minds."
"How have we disgraced their minds?" Beck knew what she was implying, but mockingly prodded her to elaborate.
Yes!" Jade slapped his arm for his amused grin - it reminded her too much of the Robarazzi incident, something she had ended but was still trying to forget. "They're - what? Two months old? And they stare at us. It's discomfiting."
"You know, the fish is supposed to have a three-second memory span," he reminded her.
"Still. No goldfish superhero that wanton and ugly would ever last two minutes in the ocean."
"There are no goldfish in the ocean."
"Only a wuss like you would watch Animal Planet and know that crap."
"Why are you so bent on insulting Sandy and Mandy? You got them for me!"
Jade stared at him incredulously.
"You named these fish Sandy and Mandy?"
Abandoning their previous argument over superheroes, Jade was now fully intent on ridiculing her boyfriend for his naming skills.
"Sure. Why not?" Beck shrugged nonchalantly.
"I didn't give these fish to you so you could give them some crappy names!"
"What's crappy about Sandy and Mandy?"
"Well, for one thing, the names rhyme!"
"So?."
Jade continued to ogle him.
"Sandy and Mandy," she repeated.
"Yes."
"Sandy and Mandy."
"I said yes, didn't I?"
"Sandy and Mandy."
"What do you want me to say, woman?"
"At least name them decent names!"
"Fine. We can change their name," he waved his hand in the air, dismissing her goading. "Do you like Brandy and Andy?" he joked.
"Beck, you are now officially not allowed to name our children."
"Who said we were having children?"
"Well, if we do," she countered, avoiding the yes or no answers.
Knowing neither of them wanted to dwell on that conversation, he just settled on asking her, "Okay, so what would you name our children?" He mimed quotations around the words 'our children.'
"Stephen. And Rachel."
"Why Stephen and Rachel?
"Stephen after Stephen King," she said, and he nodded compliantly. A good reason, he thought.
And Rachel, just because it's not overly girly. Like Trina, or something."
Beck gazed at her; the fierce look in her eye said she was pretty set on those names.
"Pretty," he decided.
"I know."
"Although, maybe we could do our initials."
"Excuse me?"
"Yeah! Like... er... what's a good name that starts with 'B'? Let's see, Brian. Brett. Brianna. Bubba. Bo-"
"Beck, I swear to God, if you name our son Bubba, I'll-"
Beck held up his hands in defense. "Fine! Fine. No Bubba," he laughed. "What about 'J'? Julia, Juliet, Jared, Justin, Jimbo-"
"Are you getting these names from the Animal Planet, too?"
"What's wrong with Jimbo?" he asked innocently, deliberately trying to push her buttons.
As much as she wanted to argue the point further, Jade changed the subject; while their banter could've easily gone on for hours, Sandy and Mandy's lives were at risk.
"Did you even notice the tank was getting dirtier?" she asked him, gesturing to the receptacle.
"How was I supposed to know? You got them for me as a gift. There was no manual!"
"It's common sense, Beck."
"Ouch."
Jade, bored, swatted a fly drifting in and out of her reach and asked, "So, what now?"
"But, here, it says while you drain the tank, you're supposed to suck up the gravel debris with this thingy," he peered at a plastic siphon connected to a smaller tube.
"That looks like some sort of torturing device."
Beck smirked to himself.
"Would you hold this?" he held out the other end of the tube.
"What do I do with it?"
"Hold it out to the lawn," he pointed, "And let the water drain out."
Eager to finish cleaning the tank as soon as possible (so that they could spend their Saturday doing something a little more exciting than cleaning a fish tank), she nodded complying and bent over.
When they were done draining the tank, Beck wiped his brow. The work wasn't exhausting, but the sun was beating down on his bare back and forming beads of perspiration.
"Done with that," he said, dropping the siphon. "God, it's hot. I can't believe you're not sweating."
"I don't sweat!" Jade snapped.
"Yeah, you do!" he laughed. "Something's dripping on me!" he mimicked her panic from the day before.
Jade rolled her eyes. They'd been dating for two years and three months, and he, an actor, still couldn't manage to imitate her correctly.
"I don't sweat," Jade insisted.
"Yeah, you do," Beck teased. Then, an idea struck him.
He held out his arms wide. "C'mere," he beckoned, "give me a hug."
"No," Jade backed away from his sweaty body; unfortunately, the only thing behind her was the RV.
"Beck, don't you dare touch me, or else-" Jade's warning was laced with pique; trapped by between her boyfriend and his vehicle, she could only glare at Beck as he came closer and closer with outstretched arms.
Beck, instead of wrapping his arms around her in a sweaty hug, merely picked her up off the ground as though she were a sack of flour.
"Let's go disgrace Sandy and Mandy's minds."
However, Sandy and Mandy's mind had need not to be disgraced, for they died two hours later in their small pool of water because Beck and Jade were a little too... preoccupied.
A/N: Oh, Beck and Jade :) Again, not my best, but I tried.
If you haven't (though I'm sure you have), go check out "You Name Like the Pope", another great Bade fic!
Review?