Title: 100 Steps To Somewhere
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Claim: Cloud/Riku
Theme:055. Numbers
Word Count: 6,151
Rating: M
Summary: Riku isn't coping with the turn of events in his life very well. He really needs to work on his people skills.
Disclaimer: Square Enix, Disney, and a bunch of other cool people own Kingdom Hearts. I'm sure that one day I will become affiliated with one of these companies, but as I am still a measly little peasant, I own no rights to the franchise. Let's face it: I don't even really own this plot. I just like to pretend things happened in canon that there's no proof of, because I'm deluded like that.
A/N: OMG, this was such an effing bitch to write.
Step Fifty-Five: Graphs and Guilt
Riku awoke the next morning and was sure to pull the Organization robe hood far over his face. He skipped a shower, and part of his mind suggested that he really should take one. The water in the World That Never Was hadn't been terrible, but he did need to practice good hygiene eventually. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. Somewhere along the transition, Riku's hot-ass little outfit that Cloud liked so much had disappeared. He wore nothing but black robes like Ansem had. He hadn't even changed for bed, but slept in the cloak. Undressing like this right now just seemed so . . .
Riku never wanted to know what Ansem's most private anatomy looked like. Unfortunately, he knew he'd have to face it eventually. That didn't mean he couldn't put it off for as long as possible.
It was mid-morning as far as Riku could tell from the sun's position in the sky outside the large window across the old mansion's entrance. He wondered why no one had woken him as he made his way down to the computer room. Naminé and DiZ were already there, sitting on the floor by the strange data machine, eating breakfast. She smiled at his entrance, waved, and motioned to two brown paper bags on the floor.
"We got takeout," said Naminé. "There's some for you, too."
"Takeout," said Riku.
The oddness of eating takeout with Naminé and DiZ in the basement computer room of Twilight Town while Sora slept a few rooms away in a pod did not escape him.
"For breakfast," she elaborated. "We don't have a working kitchen right now."
"Of course."
Riku continued to stand there. DiZ stared.
"You do eat, don't you?" said DiZ.
Riku shifted his feet. He felt six years old under the man's gaze. He felt his head bob into a nod.
"Then why don't you join us, mystery guest, and we'll catch you up on the schedule."
"There's plenty for all of us," said Naminé.
Riku shifted a moment longer, and then took a seat beside her, avoiding DiZ's eyes. She held out one of the bags to him. He accepted the offering and pulled out a breakfast sandwich.
"So what's the plan for today?" said Riku.
"I'm manipulating the memories of the people in the data Twilight Town. DiZ is going to teach you to read the system," said Naminé.
"Manipulating the memories?"
"The close proximities of their hearts should be enough to cause a response in Sora," said DiZ, "but Roxas needs an entire history."
"Right," said Naminé. "Right now I just have him in a deep sleep. I've erased all his memories already. DiZ has the town set up, but now he has to integrate Roxas into it. So while he teaches you everything you need to know about the alternate world, I'm going to make Roxas a part of it. When he wakes up, he'll never know he's been anywhere else. I even got to pick out friends for him."
"Pick out . . ."
"The Twilight Town in the system is almost identical to the real Twilight Town," said DiZ.
"Except for that Roxas doesn't exist to the real people of Twilight Town, so we had to make data copies" said Naminé. "So all the people, shops, and everything are the same. I just need to warp the duplicate's memories so that they think Roxas has been there all along. I think it might affect the real people of Twilight Town, but it shouldn't be too serious."
"Why didn't you just make fake people?" said Riku. "Sounds like more trouble than you need."
"We needed it to almost be an exact replica," said DiZ. "There are too many access points in the system for the alternate world to go unnoticed for long . . ."
"You mean by the Heartless?"
"The Heartless . . . and others . . ."
"Organization XIII," said Riku.
"Them, too, but the more similar they are, the harder it will be to differentiate which is the fake Twilight Town, and which is the real one. So if they do notice another one, at least it's more trouble for them," said Naminé.
DiZ looked to her and frowned.
"We don't have enough time to create a whole town full of believable people with histories, either," said DiZ. "The less time Roxas spends in the system, the better."
Riku didn't know what to say. He thought over their words for several seconds before he glanced up again.
"What do you mean by 'read the system'?" said Riku.
"The computer serves two purposes. It will keep track of the progress of Sora's restoration . . ." said DiZ. Naminé cut him off again.
"It's been stuck at two percent for months now."
"And we'll be able to keep watch over Roxas. That will be your job."
"A good portion of the system is entirely data, so you've got to view all those numbers. Fast, too, because they move quick. How to input data. Reading the graphs and charts."
"We have to be careful," DiZ continued. "We can't let Organization XIII find Roxas, so I've limited Twilight Town to the bare necessities to avoid as many entry points as possible."
"Because every different area of Twilight Town is a weak link in the system that can be infiltrated."
"If Organization XIII were to find the weak points in the system, they could get in there and take Roxas back."
"And we'd have a real problem on our hands then."
DiZ shot Naminé a glare. She offered an apologetic smile.
"So . . ." said Riku. He turned their words over in his head. "What does that mean? You lost me."
"If Roxas and his friends try to access an area of Twilight Town that isn't in the system, they won't be able to reach it. The data will scramble. The system will crash. We only have two options in that sort of scenario."
"Create that area and give another access point, or stop them from going there all together."
"Naminé!"
"I'm sorry. I can't help it."
Riku almost laughed. The tone of her voice, the way she threw her hands around, the weak smiles she gave DiZ every time she failed to control her mouth and he grew irritated with her interruptions was so very reminiscent of Kairi . . . Once again, he felt a small pain travel through his heart at the thought of her. He'd been so stupid following Maleficent into her trap like that. He'd been so stupid letting Sora down the way he did, and now he was in that pod, and Roxas was in an alternate world. Riku wasn't even sure where Kairi was (though he hoped she was home), and here was Naminé. Another Nobody, and this Nobody business was a depressing thing.
He looked up and saw both DiZ and Naminé staring at him.
"Well?" said DiZ.
"What?" said Riku.
Naminé smiled. Her hand touched to his robed arm.
"Aren't you hungry?" she said, as if she were repeating herself. Riku silently mused that she probably was, and steeled himself to pull it together. "You've hardly touched your food."
Riku looked down to the sandwich. His stomach turned, and he shook his head.
"I don't have much of an appetite right now." Something changed in DiZ's eyes at his words, but he didn't bother to dwell on it. He couldn't even conceive how the inner workings of DiZ's mind went, much less did he care. There were more important things to worry about, and right now, making amends to his once best friend was at the top of the list. "We should get to work."
Naminé's frown lingered for only half a second. She nodded.
"I'll clean this up," she said. "Why don't you two get started?"
-----0-----
Riku lay on the bed in the foreign room and closed his eyes. He groaned. He could swear numbers were still playing across his eyelids after staring at the series of monitors all day. It wasn't hard learning the system since he'd always been good with computers, but it was tiring. DiZ said Naminé should have all the memories going by the day after tomorrow, and then Roxas could awaken. Until then, there wasn't much to be done other than learn the workings of the data town.
Each monitor was reserved for a different purpose. Some were for entry points of the alternate Twilight Town. Roxas had a house and family. There was a forest, and a place called the Sandlot, where DiZ said some event called the Struggle Challenge was held. There was a train station, a clock tower, trams, and the Sunset Residential District. Even DiZ's mansion was there. The layout was becoming familiar, but Riku planned on taking a walk through the real Twilight Town tomorrow. He needed to familiarize himself with actually walking the streets in the event he might have to slip into the data world. Riku didn't think the Organization would find Roxas, but there were so many missing parts to the extended town that the odds Roxas and friends might wander where they couldn't go were high.
One monitor tracked Sora's progress, while another tracked Roxas's emotions and vitals in the system. A corner of one screen registered the connection between Roxas and Sora to see how their hearts responded to each other. Riku didn't know how DiZ found a way to track the progress of hearts, but it gave him the chills. It was so reminiscent of all those books in the Hollow Bastion castle—Ansem's books. All that research on the Heartless. The parallels of working for Maleficent and working for DiZ were a little too strong for Riku's liking, but this was to help Sora. That's all that mattered.
He just hoped this didn't parallel how Maleficent and Ansem were going to help Kairi. He couldn't be that stupid two times in a row, could he? After all, DiZ seemed focused on eliminating Organization XIII, and Riku didn't care why. Once Sora was awake he could handle himself.
The large monitor displayed a map and graphs tracking the movements of Twilight Town inhabitants. This was also the screen that would start flashing red and blazing obnoxious, loud tones should someone infiltrate the system or the inhabitants threatened to breach the barriers. If that happened to anyone but Roxas and his friends, Riku was to delete the data and input it again. If it was Roxas and his friends, he needed to interfere somehow. The Roxas in the system was the real Roxas, after all, and Riku couldn't just very well delete him. If someone infiltrated, well, Riku needed to inform DiZ and try to fix the problem. Compared to all this, the Hollow Bastion Restoration seemed like a fond, long-ago memory.
He learned about the people of the town. DiZ gave him a portfolio full of files on everyone from shopkeepers to a group of friends that called themselves the Twilight Disciplinary Committee. Roxas's friends were going to be a trio of kids named Hayner, Pence, and Olette. From what Riku could tell, they'd at least be entertaining to watch. Hayner had sort of a big-mouthed attitude problem that both amused Riku and vaguely reminded him of himself back on Destiny Islands. He knew Naminé chose these friends for Roxas, and he wondered if, considering Roxas was Sora's Nobody, she was taking at dig at him by setting the two up as best friends.
Riku needed to study the files, but for now he leaned over the bed. He pulled out the table drawer and flipped open his phone. His heart sank again; Cloud hadn't called. He tried to rationalize that Cloud was probably tired on that flight back to Hollow Bastion and there was no exciting news on the Gummi, but a nagging sensation at the back of his mind said it was because of Ansem. Riku almost put the phone away again, but he promised that he'd keep in touch. He dialed Cloud's number.
Two rings later, Cloud's voice drifted through the headset. The call was a short one. Cloud was still on the Gummi, and he anticipated being back in Hollow Bastion the next evening. His voice was animated and responsive as Riku talked about Naminé and Sora. He relayed the details of the alternate Twilight Town, but somewhere along the way Cloud's voice changed from encouraging to confused.
"You know I don't get any of that computer stuff," said Cloud.
Riku actually found himself laughing at the statement, but behind the mirth he felt suddenly overwhelmed. Joyous laughter at something that was so very Cloud and something so very normal sank in his heart and started to ferment there. His stomach churned, and Riku felt the bile rising in his throat. He swallowed. His eyes fell on the portfolio of files.
"I really have to go," said Riku. "DiZ has me working on something, and I've got get back to it. Just wanted to let you know how things are going."
"What a slave driver," said Cloud. "Who does he think you are? His man servant? Cause if he does, someone better inform him that I claimed you first."
Riku tried to chuckle. It sounded so forced that he winced at the sound of his own voice.
"I really need to go."
There was a long, uncomfortable pause on the other end.
"Okay," said Cloud. "Just . . . call me, okay? Or I'll call you. I want to keep updated on how things are going."
"Okay. Well . . . bye, then."
"I love you."
Riku hesitated. His throat felt tight.
"I love you, too."
He jabbed at the end button. Riku stared at the phone for several seconds before he felt his eyes burn, and realized just what had made him so very upset out of nowhere.
They hadn't mentioned his Ansem appearance. It was such a typical call for them, exchanging details of the day's lack of events, filled with light-hearted teasing and flirtation. A typical call during such an atypical situation and it wasn't like Riku wanted the change pointed out, but this was a phone conversation. All you had in phone conversations was a voice to suffice that aching need, and Cloud's had always been a great comfort to him. This had been their one solace, their way of communicating when so far apart, and now it couldn't even be sacred because his voice . . .
Riku took a deep breath and tried to relax. He had to stop doing this. He couldn't spend the rest of his time as Ansem obsessing over it and worrying about how Cloud would feel. There was no indication of how long it would take to finish Organization XIII or until he didn't need the power of darkness anymore. He couldn't tell how long it would be until the piece of Ansem in his heart was destroyed. This was a necessity, being this way, and Cloud . . . Cloud was taking it so well. Cloud was wonderful, supportive, and all Riku could to repay him was act like a nutcase. This was becoming trite and overdone. He couldn't continue to behave this way.
Riku tried to reason that it'd only been a day since the transformation occurred, but he felt it wasn't an excuse. If Cloud could just push it aside and remind himself that this thing was Riku, then shouldn't he be able to do the same? He knew more than anyone that it was still he trapped inside this foreign encasement of over elongated limbs. It should be he that handled it best. He needed to get himself under control. Cloud was bound to eventually blame himself, think he was worthless for not being able to stop the transformation, take the burden for Riku's depression over the matter, and would withdraw. Riku needed to have it together if he wanted to keep from losing him.
The files sat in a portfolio case on the nightstand. Riku ensured the door was locked and popped open the lid. He took down his hood. With a pile of files in his hand, he cast them across the bed, lay on his stomach, and flipped open Hayner's. His eyes roved over the words, seeing them without registration. How long he lay there staring with empty eyes went unnoticed, but eventually the ache throbbing in his forehead overtook consciousness. Riku fell into a fitful, restless sleep.
-----0-----
Naminé had an eerie sixth sense of intuition. Riku would have marveled that this, too, was so like Kairi if he wasn't so exhausted. The day after the call with Cloud was more of the same. He went for his walk through the real Twilight Town to familiarize himself with the streets and did a fine job to avoid Seifer and his gang. He learned how to work the data machine. Riku dragged through the hours, forcing his eyes open. Without having ever said anything, Naminé rested her hand on his robed forearm sometime in the evening.
"The nightmares will pass," she whispered. DiZ standing only a few feet away typing data manically into one of the scripts didn't even glance toward the disturbance. He turned his hooded face in her direction and was greeted with a thermos of coffee shoved into his hands.
She must have known because of his heart's connection to Sora, but he continued to marvel at her. More so, he was thankful for her presence. Her kind tone and sweet words had a calming effect on him. She didn't deny how he felt or tell him to feel another way, but she made it feel like maybe it wasn't as bad as it seemed.
He sipped at the coffee, listening with disinterest to DiZ explain more about the town grids and the codes for them. Over an hour later Naminé returned to the computer room basement and grinned.
"It's ready. Give the word and I'll wake Roxas."
Riku looked from Naminé to DiZ. The reality of the situation suddenly became that much bigger. Roxas was about to wake, and then . . . Sora . . .
"It's time," said DiZ.
His gaze was directed to Riku, and then he turned his bandaged face toward Naminé; he nodded.
-----0-----
The Roxas of alternate Twilight Town was . . . well . . . Riku kind of felt asinine thinking it, but boring. Compared to the Roxas he met in the World That Never Was, this Roxas was so nice. So tame. So completely unaware of bad things in the world(s), completely unaware of what he was, and content with spending time in that place in the back alley he and his friends called the usual spot.
Even their conversation was drab. Hayner punched his fists into his hands a lot and mouthed off about Seifer and the Twilight Disciplinary Committee. Olette reminded the boys of an upcoming school term. Pence took a lot of photographs and blathered at random about some piece of useless information that one of Hayner's offhand comments reminded him of. They spent evenings on the clock tower shooting the shit some more, eating sea-salt ice cream, which became the new computer password. The most excitement came when they went skateboarding (Riku had no idea where this interest of Roxas's came from, because Sora had never been able to stay on a skateboard very well) or when they ran into Seifer and his gang. That got annoying, too, though, because Rai had a tendency to tag on "ya know?" at the end of every sentence. It was worse than Wakka's "ya?"
More than once on Riku's first full day of Roxas Watch, his head jerked up and eyes flew open when he started to nod off. There were no barrier breaches (Roxas and friends were woefully broke) except for a train full of people off to the beach. Riku was more excited than he should have been to delete them, call on Naminé for memory modification, and reprogram them into the system. He almost cried in joy when Naminé brought dinner, and he sighed with relief when Roxas went to bed.
The best part of the day, though, was the second-highest monitor on the right-hand sign. The one that had been stuck at two percent forever. Since Roxas awoke, it climbed to four percent. Sora's heart was responding. When Riku fell asleep that night, it was with a happier heart. His body felt lighter, the darkness less overwhelming. Something was happening—something good. There were no nightmares his fourth night in Twilight Town.
Riku woke early the following morning. Naminé was already out to collect breakfast, and Riku assumed DiZ must be somewhere in the mansion, already awake and wrapping his face. He snorted at the thought and walked down to the computer room. He stopped at the monitor and smiled to see the restoration at five percent (a one percent increase overnight and Roxas was sleeping at that!). Bypassing the rest of the monitors (Roxas was still snoring away) he headed through the next two doors, followed the corridor, and stepped into the white pod room.
He hung by the door, staring across the expanse to where Sora floated, suspended in sleep. This was his first time seeing Sora since Naminé showed him here, and he hadn't anticipated that he would visit his estranged best friend, but now that he was here . . . It was something about Roxas. Roxas who felt like Sora, and Riku felt so guilty for what he had to do. He hated to take away Roxas's life (even this fake one) and his chance to exist—to be something more than just a Nobody.
He had forgotten everything about Sora, but now he had a name and a face, a body, and there were those horrible yellow shoes he liked to wear. The holes in his memory were still gaping, but there was something going on in that heart of Sora's. Riku didn't need the monitor to tell him that as it resonated in his own. It made things worse with Roxas. Riku couldn't really remember what Sora was like, but he felt it in his heart. Sora would not be okay with taking the little heart Roxas had away from him. It had to be done, though, and Sora would have to find out eventually.
Riku reflected on Naminé's words, looking to them for forgiveness and resolution as he stared at Sora's long-closed eyelids. Nobodies were only half a person. Roxas could never have a full life (even a fake one), but he could be whole with Sora. He silently promised one day he would help Sora to understand, too. Maybe even tell him about Roxas. Help him embrace the other his sacrifice for Kairi had created.
Riku lowered his head and snickered. When he raised his head again, he turned to head out through the door.
"You were always nothing but trouble. Always lazy, leaving me with all the work, you slacker." Riku smiled. "I remember that."
He left the room.
-----0-----
That evening Riku propped his feet up on a wooden crate he dragged into the computer room around lunchtime. His cheek was smashed against the rough material of the Organization robe (he'd have to ask Naminé about laundry . . . maybe do a little shopping for a change or two of clothes) as his head lay supported by the palm of his hand. He stared blankly at the monitors (Sora was up to six percent), barely registering Roxas and Hayner saying goodnight and leaving the usual place in different directions.
Riku lifted his head and wiggled his fingers, urging the blood back into his hand. A tingling sensation crept through the digits. He really ought to take a shower this evening, he thought, as he yawned.
"Roxas dreamt of you," said Naminé, walking into the computer room. She handed him a paper cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll on a plain, white napkin. Pulling up a chair, she motioned for Riku to move his feet from the crate, and set her own cup and snack there.
"What do you mean?" said Riku. He straightened in the chair and set his coffee across from Naminé's.
"Last night. He dreamt of you and Sora on Destiny Islands. You couldn't have been older than six. Nice haircut you had, by the way."
Naminé giggled. Riku scowled.
"I was a kid! My mom . . ." Riku trailed off. "Whatever. So . . . what does that mean? Is that good?"
"I think so. The links in the memories I've restored for Sora are starting to register with him, and Roxas's heart is responding to that just like Sora responds to him."
"So it just means that things are going well, then?"
"Think so. How's Roxas doing?"
"Shouldn't you know?"
Naminé gave him a sheepish smile.
"I know how his heart is doing. I just . . ."
Riku laughed.
"I was just kidding. Roxas is doing perfectly fine. Unaware that he's an extremely brutal fighter and having a great time with his friends. His biggest concerns are how little munny he's got and dealing with Seifer. He thinks about the upcoming Struggle a lot."
"That's great. How are you doing?"
"Dirty. I've been avoiding the shower."
"You'll have to face it eventually. Let me know when you do. I'll get that robe cleaned for you."
"I wanted to ask you about that. I need to go shopping. I have no other clothes."
"I'll approximate the size when I do your laundry and go shopping tomorrow morning while you watch Roxas. Until then, you're just going to have to go naked."
"Or live in my towel."
"At least it's only one night. You'll have clean clothes in the morning."
She smiled. Riku sat back in his chair, picking at the cinnamon roll in his hand. He glanced toward the large monitor to see Roxas saying goodnight to his "mother" and heading for bed. He enjoyed this time with Naminé in a comfortable silence, and it was nice to have a friend here. It was especially nice that no words were needed. Sometimes Riku felt he did more talking than any person should.
Just as he was drifting and mind started to clear, his phone went off. It vibrated in his pocket, ringing out some obnoxious tone Cloud had set it to ages ago. He glanced to Naminé; she stared at his pocket.
"You going to answer that?"
"I'll call him back."
"Cloud?" she asked. Riku shrugged. He half-nodded. "I'll give you your privacy. Let me know about that shower. You know where to find me."
Naminé shot him a soft smirk before standing, taking her coffee with her, and leaving the room. Riku sighed, pulled the still ringing phone from his pocket, and flipped it open.
"Hey," said Riku. "Wasn't expecting you to call so soon."
There was a long, heavy silence on the other end. Riku frowned. A considerable pause passed.
". . . Riku?"
"Cloud?"
". . . No."
Riku's frown deepened and something akin to panic rose within him. He pulled the phone back and stared at the display, blatantly showing a number that was not Cloud's. Clearly, however, this was someone who must know Cloud to have his number (because until right now, Riku thought the only people to know his number were he and Cloud . . . and maybe Cid, but that was neither here nor there). His mind drew blank, and then the voice spoke again, and there was only one possible conclusion.
"Are you still there?"
". . . Leon?"
". . . Yeah."
"What . . . why . . ."
"I guess Cloud didn't warn you, then. He gave me your number."
"Yeah . . . I . . . I figured."
"Has he talked to you at all since he got back to Hollow Bastion?"
"No." The panic and fear increased with the sound of the foreign voice and all chastising about getting it together faded from his consciousness. Annoyance mingled with the panic. "He hasn't. Why are you calling?"
"Because when Cloud got back he said he couldn't tell us what happened to you, and that we can't tell Sora about you again, and I want to know what's going on."
"There's a reason I asked him not to tell anyone."
"He says you're embarrassed."
"I don't want anyone to know what happened. I don't want to be called. I don't even really want Cloud to call . . ."
"It can't be that bad. You can tell me whatever it is. I'm your friend. I won't tell Aerith or anyone, and I've already promised not to say anything to Sora. I just think I'm entitled to know why I'm promising these things."
"You have a tendency to think you're entitled to know things that aren't any of your business. Just because Cloud let it slip about our relationship doesn't mean I have to tell you a damn thing."
"What happened to your voice?"
"Fuck off."
"Riku . . ."
"I don't want to talk about it, Leon. I don't want anyone to know. I don't even want Cloud to know, and if I could, I'd fix that, but I can't so I'm just going to hang up, okay?"
"Riku, come on. Don't do this. We're friends, aren't we?"
Riku's head ached. How could Cloud do this to him? He felt the throbbing travel through his head and into his eyes. His ears ached. He wished he could cry just to make the pressure ease, but even that wouldn't comply.
"I don't know what we are, but I'm not telling you what's going on, and I'm pretty pissed off that you'd even call about it."
"You're pissed off at me? For calling you because I want to know what happened?"
"Yes, I'm pissed off at you. You don't need to know what happened. Why do you care, anyway?"
"Because we're friends?"
"Just because I'm dating your best friend and we lived in the same house for a few months it doesn't mean we're friends."
"Oh, it doesn't?"
"No, it doesn't."
"So we're not friends?"
"That's not what I said! I can't believe . . ."
"You can't believe what? That I'd want to know what was going on? That I give a shit about what happens to you?"
"Oh, shut up. That's not what I meant."
"Then what did you mean?"
"I meant . . . I meant that I don't want to talk about this. I don't want you to call me. I don't want you to know what happened!"
"Because you're embarrassed."
"I'm not embarrassed!"
"Yes, you are. You're embarrassed about whatever happened to you, and now you're freaking out because someone else might find out. So you're panicking and taking it out on me."
"No, I'm not!"
"Don't you yell at me. You know, what, Riku? Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I called because I'm worried about you and want to know what's going on. I'm sorry I cared. I'm sorry I thought I could be a better friend for you if there was someone other than Cloud you could talk to about whatever mess you got yourself into now."
"Knock it off."
"Cause that's what you do, right? Get yourself into messes with the Heartless and the darkness and end up jerking yourself and everyone else around before you decide to let people in."
"Shut up!"
"Your pride really isn't as important as you think it is, Riku. Pride is worthless. It doesn't mean shit."
"It's better than blaming myself for everything that goes wrong like you do. At least I choose my messes. At least they're real. Shit gets fucked up, and then you make it a mess of your own. I mean, really. What's wrong? Aren't fucked up enough on your own? Need to give yourself more problems?"
"You don't even know what you're talking about."
"I do. Like right now, causing problems with me when there doesn't have to be one. I just don't understand how you're going to be such a good friend to me when you don't let anyone get close. You just sit back and impart condescending leftover words of wisdom from Aerith on people, as if we should do as you say and not as you do. I mean, really. Why me? Why now, of all times, do you decide you want to show some human emotion and—God forbid—care about someone enough to track them down?"
"Don't talk about things you don't understand."
"Oh for crissakes, Leon, stop telling me what to do.! Seriously. I think I'm entitled to know. Why now? How long did I live with you? You never got my number then. Or do you only care when something is so fucked up you need to share some of the blame?"
"I care because you've been through bad shit before, and I know you a little better now than I did before you lived here. I didn't get your number then because I didn't need it. You just took off. It's not like I got an opportunity before you left. Not that I should have to explain myself to you. You're acting like a brat."
"You're acting like an asshole calling me up like this when I don't want you to!"
"Don't worry; I won't do it again. I now understand the evils of my concern for your well-being."
"I didn't say that! Don't put words into my mouth! I don't care if you were concerned about me, I just don't want you to call me."
"Believe me, I'm very sorry I did right now."
"I don't understand why you even did it in the first place! I mean . . . What? Was Cloud right or something? Do you like me so much that you have to track me down when I obviously don't want to be found?"
Riku regretted the words the second they left his mouth. He squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his jaw. On the other end of the line, Leon released a long sigh.
"Oh, yes, Riku. You've figured me out. That's very perceptive of you."
"Leon . . ." said Riku. "Listen . . ."
"I think you've said enough."
"No . . . I'm sorry. I didn't mean . . ."
"I know what you meant."
"No. Leon . . . I didn't mean it like that. I'm a brat. You're right. I'm just . . ."
"Worse off than I thought. Listen, Riku, I don't know what happened, but I know I care about you. If you want to talk about it, you know where to find me, but I think we should just walk away from this conversation before we say more things we regret."
"You mean before I say more things we regret."
"If that's what you want to think . . . Goodnight, Riku."
"No. You can't just hang up. We're fighting. I . . ."
"Goodnight, Riku."
"Leon . . ."
The line went dead. Riku pulled the phone back from his ear to see the word 'DISCONNECT' flash across the screen for a moment. He went into the received calls list and added Leon to his contacts. He hung his head, almost pressing the send button to try and call Leon back, make him listen, apologize until Leon wasn't angry anymore and believed him, but he closed the phone again.
Riku glanced toward the door leading to Sora. This was how it'd gone last time, hadn't it? His pride in the way made words he didn't mean or believe come tumbling out his mouth, searching for the weak point that would hit hard. Now Leon was angry . . . they were friends, but Riku had all but denied it.
He'd call Cloud tomorrow. Maybe he could shed some light on what to do next. He knew Leon better than anyone, and Riku needed to make peace with Leon. He trusted Leon. Leon had become something of a brother, dear to him the way Ayumi always had been. He didn't really want Leon to know because of pride, but he sought that elder sibling comfort and solace he'd gotten his entire life with his sister. Leon made him feel safe in the same way, but just like he'd pushed away Sora back in Traverse Town and Ayumi all the way back on Destiny Islands . . . Riku was such an idiot.
He pocketed the phone and headed for the white room. All he wanted right now was a shower, sleep, and a clean robe in the morning.
Whelp. There ya go. I accomplished something. Go me.
To the Reviewers, because I've just been horrible about responding (and I can't use the reply link or poor ChibiFrubaGirl will never get messages):
BlackIceNinja: Oh, I love Reno so much. He's such a spectacular character. I knew from the start he had to show up in here eventually (I think Perspective was born because I was too impatient waiting to write Reno in something). I especially enjoy that with Cloud in Midgar (or Edge, really) that we'll get to see more of him.
Jediempress: Oh, I've got something that might slightly resemble Advent Children in mind. There's a strain of Advent Children in there, but I'm KH-ifying it. And then turning that into my own fun and twisted order of events. Cause, you know, Cloud's got to have First Tsurugi and look all AC for KHII when he meets up with Sora again. And he's looking for Sephiroth. And there's that quote that if he looks different, it's because of Sephiroth. Got to tie that all in. So, yeah. Kind of Advent Children, but not Advent Children.
ChibiFrubaGirl: Yeah. I like to abuse myself. I have to write Harry Potter fic again or the people I see in real life might eat me. And I'm woefully saddened by the continuing lack of good Ron/Draco stuff. They're calling it a sinking ship. So I figure if I can create a ship out of virtually nothing, I can certainly ressurect the good ship Ron/Draco. I've also become somewhat of a challenge addict because I get to write what I would've written anyway except more of it and I feel a moral obligation to finish since I signed up and everything. Plus I like having a long list of stories in my arsenal. I don't know what's going on with Leon. He became more integrated into this story than I ever planned him to be. He wasn't even supposed to be a big character. He wasn't supposed to know about the relationship or anything. He was just supposed to be silent and pretty. Leon wasn't standing for that.
LunaLocket: Oh, that guard shift. I burned so bad and now I'm peeling. Other than that it wasn't too much, so thanks for the luck sent my way. It might have helped.
Riku-Rocks: Like I said to Jediempress, yeah, there's going to be a strain of Advent Children, but it's totally not Advent Children at the same time. Let's just say I've been aching to write Kadaj. And what direction were you expecting me to take with Cloud? Just curious . . .
-find.me.please-: I just love the Gunblade. I love the word Gunblade. It's just awesome and sexy in that Squalleon way. Thanks for the kudos on my writing skills. I love being called kickass.
SoulWriterofDarkTruth: You're welcome. Hope you liked this additional dose of therapy.
Red Kitsune Flames: I don't know how Leon came to care so much about Riku. I think at first because of Cloud, and then they actually just had so much in common and coexisted so well that they became friends. And I get the feeling that once you're friends with Leon, that's just it. No going back.
C. 'Vanus' deLeon: Yeah, that was kind of the point. Chronologically I had Cloud days ahead of Riku and I needed to keep it short for Riku to catch up. Which is why this chapter was so long. I'll keep the comment about setting and movement in mind. I do have a tendency to go back and forth where one time I'm overloading the description on and then I turn around and have it at the bare minimum. But hey, we're all falliable with our weak points, right?
GW Katrina: bounces too I love FFVII and KH, and there are so many characters from FFVII in KH that it's not even real crossover! Yay! But, ahem, yeah. I know the last chapter was woefully short, but this one was obnoxiously long so that makes up for it, right? ... Right? ... Oh, fine. To steal a line from Squalleon: Whatever. ::smiles::
Next up is Cloud arriving at Midgar (or Edge, because Midgar's been laid to waste, hasn't it?). Don't really have it too fleshed out except for the big plot points (cackles to self). Jediempress, you will get your dedication then, because I believe I reamed you out several months ago for sharing my brain and now I'm finally getting to the point where those unkind words I might have called you are relevent. You may cackle, too, because there's a good possibility you know what I'm talking about.
No idea when I will update. Alas, I only have had Saturdays off for the past three weeks and it will continue that way for this and next week. But hey, I won't be sleeping twice a day for four hours at a time anymore because I no longer have to wake up at 4:20 in the morning. Yay!
All my love to every one of you who has come all this way. Only 45 to go.
-D