When I awoke my head was killing me. Sometime in my sleep I had sleepwalked about two miles I think. I guess I should start walking more, by the way I was running yesterday I have to be extremely far from home. Should I even call it home now? Would First Beach even welcome me when I get back? I guess I'll find out. Then I started running and when I got tired I stopped and made camp like the previous night.

Again I woke up to a raging headache but I continued to trek through the woods surrounding streets, as to make sure I'm not lost. Along the way a shirt and shorts flew out of the window of a car going over the speed limit so I waited till the coast was clear and went to grab them up and tied them to my leg, then I again ran until I got tired and slept.

I decided instead of running I should jog so I don't get sleep deprivation or something like that I ignored in class. Soon enough I hit a town so I phased, dressed up and found a sign.

You are now entering Edmonton!

I walked past the sign and into the city. Eventually I found a Public Library and got onto a computer. I instantly typed in into the website bar and clicked on maps. I found out the town I was in earlier, Saskatchewan, Canada, was exactly 1,209 miles away from Forks, Washington. That was definitely past my record. Then I looked to see how far Forks was from this place. A full 531.7 miles. I guess it's time to find a taxi.

I walked outside and whistled with two fingers. Almost instantly a taxi cab came rolling up to the curb and I climbed inside. "I need to get to Forks, Washington, in the U.S."

"That's gunna cost ya, are you sure?"

"Yeah, I have something to fix" With that the cab driver started off to my destination. As the engine purred my head was about as messy as the front seats of this taxi. What am I going to do bout Seth? Would he even want t see me? My heart was already tugging to him and it hurt. It took a lot to hold back tears threatening to overflow. He probably thinks I'm disgusting, heck, I am. I'm only going back for Billy…only for Dad. I cried myself to sleep on the ride home.

~!~

I woke up to the taxi man yelling for me to get up. "I can't cross the border and by the looks of ya, you don't have any money. Just gimme your address and I'll send the bill there." He handed me piece of paper and pen and I wrote it down. "There, where can I get another cab?"

"There's one right over there waitin for you."

"Thanks." I crawled out f the car and made my way over to the other taxi waiting for you. Behind me I heard the first cab drive away. "Where to?" The taxi driver had really course voice and had a cigarette dangling in his mouth and his face had a 5 o'clock shadow." "I'm heading down to Forks."

"Washington?"

"Yeah." And we set off once more. Now I seriously need to think.

Will I see him? Depending. Do I miss him? Definitely. Do I love him? Yes. That had no hesitation. Do I deserve him? That is the question. My answer is no. I thought I loved a girl and tried t tear her away from someone she knows she loves. I was just the monster trying to tear them apart, with ignorance. I know how she feels about him now. I know exactly how it feels to be pulled in two different directions by something you can't control. My disgust for myself and my love for Seth were tearing me in two.

I kept thinking until we arrived at the Forks Police Station. I gave the man my address to bill me and headed into the Station. Making sure no one saw me, I slipped out the slide door and headed off to the forest behind. As soon as I was far enough in, I took off my clothes and tied the around my leg.

I hesitated a bit before phased, Was..this…even good for me? Should I even confront him about our- my- mistake? Maybe I should have not told him and kept it a secret. That would have worked because he wouldn't have left, but he wouldn't have known. Bu I think that would have killed me inside. Having to keep all these feelings locked up inside me and to have no one know about is the only thing worse that my situation now. I'm going to see him. Right after I say sorry to my dad.

~!~

Running through the forest was good for clearing my head not that it did much good for when I ran away. Maybe it's because I don't have anything to hide. Seth has got to have phased between now and when I left. That's six days total, he's got to have shown The Pack this.

I got home and I see the whole pack in my living room, like they're having a meeting without me. "Hey guys, what's new?" Sam just stared at the floor and Leah walked up to me and slapped me. "I know I deserve that. I still do for wanting him."

I looked up when I felt Leah touch my cheeks to lift my head. Then she did what no one was expecting. Leah tightened her grip on my face and smashed my lips against hers. Then she pulled away as quick as she had leaned forward. "Do you feel anything at all? Do you feel the fireworks I feel every time you touch me or a warm fussy feeling whenever you look at me? Or do you maybe feel disgusted at the thought?" I looked into her eyes and I felt like she was looking for something, then I looked to my feet.

"Leah. Leah I'm sorry. I didn't feel anything, I can't be disgusted by you, but I don't feel the fireworks." I looked up and saw the tears in her eyes for a fraction of a second before she turned and whispered, "It's okay. I know you can't control it, like I can't control this." I looked back at her and saw Seth next to his sister. She took his hand and mine and laced our fingers together. I smiled and nodded as to say Thank you, but I couldn't form words. She nodded and sat on the couch next to Emily, who was not sitting next to Sam like she usually is, but next to Dad.

Sam sat across the room, which wasn't too far away due to my small house, and you could see that Seth was sitting on the other side of him, out of my view. Paul sat next to Embry who was next to Quill on the floor in the middle of the room.

I looked over to Seth who was looking at our hands and I loosened my hold on him, but he held on tighter. I looked up at his face and saw that his eyes were brimming with tears still looking at our entwined hands, then he looked at me, and all I saw was pure hatred. The sight of my beloved Seth hating me was too much. I ripped my hand from his and ran straight for my room.

~!~

Sooo, how was it? Be brutally honest and I want nothing less than the absolute truth! And I've even got a signature like so many people on Fanfiction.

My fairies will now transport you back to the real world, where you are now not a spectator of my imagination. Have a cookie