A/N: As always, thanks to those of you who actually review this! I had a totally different song picked out for this chapter, but then idealskeptic linked me to some Mumford & Sons. And "To Darkness" is the best song ever for this. Really, go listen to it like right now. And then check out more of their stuff 'cause it's amazing.

Also, UGH. Sorry this chapter took so long. It's actually been done for a while but I started house sitting on the 1st and the house where I'm housesitting has no internet! Seriously. NO. INTERNET. How do people even survive like that? I do not understand. So, right now, I am at my parent's, using their internet so I can actually get things done, like post this.

Chapter Seven: Awkward Silence

About an hour later a nurse came in to Mark's room to check on him and I left before she could say anything. I didn't think this was all so terribly important that she'd be curious or interested in any of what was going on, but I didn't want to chance it that she might start asking me all sorts of questions I just couldn't handle answering right now. So, with one last glance back at Mark, I left.

That was when I remembered it. Alex. I was supposed to meet him well over an hour ago.

I sprinted down the hall to the elevator and pushed the button for the fifth floor. I impatiently tapped my foot as I waited for the doors to open. It felt like it took forever, but probably only took a few seconds. I continued tapping my foot while I stood in the elevator. There was another woman, either a patient or she was visiting a patient, in the elevator and I was pretty sure from the look on her face that she wished I'd stop making noise, but she didn't say anything, so I didn't stop. I was honestly more concerned about Alex. Would he even still be there? I had a good reason for forgetting, but still. I couldn't help but worry just a little, tiny bit.

It hit me then that I was worried about what Alex Karev thought of me. I shook my head and laughed out loud. That was weird. That was really, really weird. The woman in the elevator took a step forward and pressed the button for the next floor and a second later the doors slid open and she stepped out. I couldn't help but wonder if she'd intended to get off on that floor in the first place, or if she'd just gotten off to get away from me.

I arrived on the sixth floor seconds later and made a mad dash for Meredith's room. I saw Alex sitting and either reading or pretending to read, a book. He looked up when he saw me coming and scowled.

"Where's my food? I've been here for over an hour," he groused.

"Oh, um..." I was confused. Had he seriously wanted me to bring him food? I'd completely forgotten about that. Well, of course I had. I had hardly eaten anything myself. I was about to tell him how ridiculous that was when he rolled his eyes and said, "Relax. I don't actually care that you forgot. Or that it took you an hour and a half to get here."

"I saw Mark," I blurted out.

"Oh," he said, his face quickly growing red in embarrassment. I felt a little twinge of happiness that he now felt bad for teasing me. Not that that had been my intention, it was just the first thing that had popped into my head.

I flopped into a chair next to him. "Yeah, umm..." I started playing with the hem on my shirt, anything for a distraction. "He was... umm..." I gulped audibly.

Alex put a hand on my knee. "You don't have to talk about it," he said. "But I do have to get going. My shift starts in an hour," He paused a moment, clearly not sure if he should say what he wanted to say. After a second he asked anyway. "Will you be okay here?"

I nodded. I looked up to see Meredith staring at me from across the hall. "Should probably..."

Alex looked over at Meredith and nodded. "Right." He got to his feet and started to walk away, but stopped. "Will you be here later?" He sounded hesitant and I couldn't help but think for the second time in several minutes how weird this was. It hadn't been weird yesterday, or this morning, but it was weird now. I hoped it wasn't going to be weird from now on.

"Uh-huh," I nodded again.

"Me, April and Jackson are going out for drinks later. You should come."

I shook my head. "Thanks, but I don't think I'm up for it." I paused and tried to smile. It came out kind of awkward. "But maybe some other time?"

Alex nodded a little too quickly. "Sure," he said. With that, he turned around and walked away.

As soon as he was out of hearing range, Meredith said, "You and Alex are friends now?"

I hung my head for a moment then nodded and walked over to her. I sat on the edge of the bed and looked away. "He's nicer than he lets on."

"I know." I looked over at Meredith to see her smiling at me.

I just nodded. I didn't really feel comfortable talking about that, so I decided to change the subject. "When are they letting you go home?"

Meredith sat up a little bit straighter in the bed and her smile got bright enough to light up the room. "Pretty soon. Derek's just getting all the paperwork signed, actually. Then I get to go home and see my baby."

"Give Zola a big hug for me, okay?" I said. I meant what I'd just said, I really did, but even to me it sounded hollow. I looked over and out the window and I didn't mean for it to happen, but my mind started to drift back to Mark. Now that I knew he was okay, or alive at least, all I wanted was to be near him. I'd run off not ten minutes ago, and already I felt like I needed to be back with him. I just needed to be near him.

"I heard Mark made it through the surgery," Meredith said quietly. I turned back to look at her.

"Uh-huh," I pursed my lips a little. I wanted to be near him, but at the same time, I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to think about the details, or about the surgery he'd already survived because that made me think about the surgeries I knew he still had to face and I didn't want to think about that.

"You want to be with him, huh?" Meredith asked.

"I..." I shrugged. "I was just there." I put a hand over her hand. "I should spend some time with you."

Slowly, she drew her hand out from under mine. She patted my hand with hers then folder her hands in her lap. "I'll be fine."

She said that, but I couldn't help but feel bad about it anyway.

"Go. I'll see you tomorrow."

I got to my feet and walked to the door but lingered. I had a lot of things I suddenly wanted to say to her, but I couldn't seem to figure out how to express them. I wanted to tell her that I loved her, that I was glad she was my sister, that I was happy I had a sister who understood me, who could read me like the things I felt were written on my face in bold print. All I managed to say was, "Thanks." I hoped she understood what I was trying to say with that. I suspected, maybe, she did.

I made it halfway back to Mark's room before remembering that I'd told Jackson and April I'd meet them in the cafeteria. I almost didn't want to go and it was odd, not just that I had somewhere to go, but that I didn't want to. A week ago, I'd been spending most of my time working, talking to Derek and Meredith, and other than that, pretty much just being alone and wishing I wasn't. And now? Now something terrible had happened and I repeatedly had these things I had go and do, things based around seeing other people. A part of me wondered, was it just that before I never really reached out to anyone, or was it just that now everyone was concerned about me because of what had happened? When this all was over, would things go back to the way they were? I didn't want that. I hadn't really seen it, hadn't really allowed myself to feel it, but I had been so very, very lonely. I didn't want to go back to that. I couldn't help but feel like I'd been given another chance here. I didn't want to waste it just spending all my time alone.

Again, my mind circled back to Mark. I knew it wasn't true, but... what if the things he'd said had only been because, at the time, he'd thought he was dying? What if... I shuddered. What if he woke up and decided... What if he recovered, and we tried, but it didn't work? It hadn't worked before. What if this time wouldn't be any different?

I walked into the cafeteria and got in line, still lost in thought. A hand reached out and grabbed my arm and I jumped, actually jumped and banged into the person behind me. I turned to face who'd reached out for me to see April smiling at me, or trying to smile anyway. It didn't quite come out right, like she was focusing too hard on not looking nervous and it didn't quite work. "We already bought you food," she said.

"Oh," I said and nodded. I didn't really have anything else to say other than that. I wished I did, I wished I could talk about something. Anything. Usually, I talked a lot. Usually, I found myself wishing I could learn to just shut up sometimes. But not right now. Right now I couldn't come up with anything I hadn't already said or didn't actually want to say out loud.

She dropped her hand from my shoulder and wrapped it around my hand instead. Slowly, she started leading me over to the table where Jackson was sitting.

We didn't say much, after that. Neither did Jackson. They, like me, were too wrapped up in their thoughts to speak too much. They were dressed in scrubs so I assumed they were working. For a moment I absently wondered if there were any interesting patients, interesting surgeries going on, but I didn't ask.

For most of the next two days, I stayed in Mark's room and only left to shower, change my clothes and occasionally, to eat. Most of the time, people brought food to me. For most of the first day, Callie sat with me. She didn't say much, but I did catch her staring at me from time to time. It was unnerving, her watching me and not saying anything. I couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking, but I didn't have the energy to ask her about it. That, and I wasn't sure I wanted to hear her answer. She'd said before that she would accept it, if Mark wanted to be with me, but now that she'd had some time to think about it, I wasn't sure I wanted to know what she had to say.

For most of the second day, Derek sat with me. We didn't talk much either. I sat there and pretended to read a book and he sat there and pretended to watch whatever was on TV. And I do mean whatever was on TV - at one point he started watching a show about people who drove trucks down icy roads for a living.

I had yet to see Jackson come anywhere near Mark. He'd told me he'd been in here already, that he'd already seen it, and maybe he had, but I wasn't sure.

Mark was asleep the entire time. Not that I expected any different, not that it was supposed to be any different. They had him knocked out on purpose - they wouldn't be able to fix the bones in his legs until they could sew up all the open wounds from the previous surgery and that took around two days or so on average, so they let him sleep through it.

The third day was a hard day. The third day was the day of the next surgery. I had planned to stay as far away from the operating room as possible, but then Arizona showed up and asked me to go sit in the gallery with her and since Callie was the one doing the surgery (which, I think, was what Arizona was so concerned about to begin with) it wasn't like I could really say no. Even if I'd tried, I would have failed. Arizona, with her blond hair and her big, bright eyes and her pouty lips, she'd probably had the perfect sad puppy look down since she was five. I was terrible at resisting the sad puppy look.

We walked silently, awkwardly, to the gallery. We hadn't spoken much, or really at all, since the crash. We hadn't spoken much before the crash either, which was what made it so awkward. What were you supposed to say to someone you barely knew and at the same time had been through a life changing event with? What was I supposed to say? Wouldn't making small talk just make it worse? Make it more obvious that we were both headed to watch people we loved be put through even more pain and suffering? There was nothing to say in that situation. So we walked in silence. We sat down in the gallery in silence and we waited for the surgery to start in silence.

The surgery went perfectly, but that didn't stop me from having a pins and needles feeling all through my body the entire time. Mark had a fractured tibia in his left leg, a fractured fibia in his right leg and a fractured patella in his right leg. He'd be laid up for a while, but Callie had managed to fix everything flawlessly. When the surgery was over, I got to my feet and nearly fell over. I hadn't noticed until I'd stood up, but I hadn't moved an inch during the entire surgery. I was definitely regretting that now.

I looked over at Arizona and saw she was still sitting in her chair, her hands gripping the sides like she was trying to tear the chair apart.

"You alright?" I asked tentatively.

She got to her feet and nodded. A pained expression suddenly crossed her face and she started making fists with her hands and then shaking them out. I bit back a smile. We'd sat through the entire surgery together, but if I was honest, I'd almost completely forgotten she was there. It looked like she'd done the same and like me had focused all of her anxiety not through words or even thoughts but through gripping tight to something. I couldn't help but wonder if she had been more concerned for Mark or for Callie, but I didn't ask. Maybe she'd been equally concerned for the both of them.

"Do you want to..." I started but trailed off. I wasn't entirely sure what I'd intended to say.

"Coffee?" She suggested.

"Right," I said, like that had been what I'd been trying to say. I wasn't sure that it was, but it didn't sound like a bad idea. Besides, I had been sitting my Mark's bedside for nearly three days straight. It was probably a good idea to get some space. It was also probably a good idea to give Callie some alone time with him. Maybe that had been why she'd been staring at me. She had things she had to say that she hadn't wanted me to hear.

I didn't have anything to say to him. I'd said everything when we were out in the woods and my feelings hadn't changed. I was worried that maybe his would when he woke up, but I wasn't about to say that out loud.

A/N: There is only about one more chapter to go! I think this is the fastest I've ever finished anything, ever. And since the next chapter is the last one, there is no teaser for it! You will just have to wait and see. I will try and get the next chapter posted faster, even though I'm stuck in the house with no internet until the 10th! It is so awful you don't even know. :)

And please leave a comment, even if you feel like you don't have anything to say. I love knowing people read and enjoyed the story! And ffn's even put the comment box right under this here, you don't even have to click anything. So, seriously, say something.