DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT, NEW MOON, ECLIPSE OR BREAKING DAWN. BUT I WOULD LIKE A PIECE OF EDWARD CULLEN...OR IS IT ROB? GEEZ, I CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT ANYMORE!!

AN: Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your ideas on what the next porn scene should be. I've already picked out what I wanted to do and I have to say, my idea came from you guys. I'm actually excited to sit and write it out. I couldn't have thought of it without you guys. Much love.

4theluvofMary, much love to you too girl. We've got to love men in uniform huh? And whynotJasper, thanks for your ideas, but where's my clique name? Your slacking!

Anyway, enough yapping and on with the story:

APOV

I arrived home to find Rosalie in the kitchen. Hmmm, this is odd. What is she doing in there? It's more natural to see her in the bedroom, not the kitchen, I laughed at my little joke.

"Honey, I'm home!" I chirped, prancing my way toward Rosalie.

"Hey Alice, how was your day?" she asked me, clearly distracted by what she was doing.

"It went fine...Rose what are you doing? It looks like your trying to kill whatever you stuck in the frying pan," I looked on to see her hacking away with a cooking spoon what looked to be like ground beef. I couldn't be sure though.

"I'm attempting to make Hamburger Helper. Attempting being the key word here. And in the other pot, some instant mashed potatoes, but I don't know how to measure butter." Rosalie looked clearly defeated and out of her element.

"Well, where's Bella? Doesn't she usually cook? She knows how much we hate doing this, and it never comes out right." I started pouting, but then realized that maybe Bella might be on a date.

"She called me saying that she was going to be late today; she was going to get some coffee with Jasper. She'll be here, but not till a little later."

I thought about what she said and realized I was happy for Bella. I really hope that wherever she's at, that she's taking full advantage of Jasper. Lord knows she needs to get laid.

"Look Rosalie, lets spare us some heartache, food poisoning and nausea and order in some chinese."

"I thought you'd never ask!" she said, quickly dumping out the remenants of the food and picking up the phone to order.

We made our way back to the living room and I asked her how her day went.

"Oh Alice, it went very well. We did the opening scene and Edward was dressed up as a doctor. God, he looked gorgeous! I just wanted to eat him all up!"

"Wait, isn't he the one with a girlfriend?" I asked, clearly remembering that she did mention he was taken.

She sighed heavily. "Yes, he does. But I'm Rosalie. I can get him if I wanted too."

"So, why don't you?" I asked, trying to figure out where this was going. I mean, Rosalie was gorgeous. Hell, if I was to ever go lesbian, it would be for her.

"Because I'm tired of just getting laid Alice. I want to find someone who will love me, not love me then leave me."

I understood her completely. I wanted someone like that too, but nobody had shown up at our door yet. And it wasn't like we weren't looking for Mr. Right, I mean, we've been around, looking and looking, but to no avail. I knew it would happen, one day soon. I just had to convince my friends of that fact. "So anyway, how was the scene? How was Edward?"

"The good doctor was incredible. I even let out a moan while we were filming, and I didn't even mean to, it just slipped out. I think he knew it too, because when I was leaving to shower and dress, he made a reference to me pleasing myself and not to be so loud doing it since the walls were thin."

I'm pretty sure my mouth was hanging open because I sure as hell was surprised. "Wow, he's got a pair of balls on him. What did you say?"

"I did the only thing I knew that would affect him. I threatened him with his girlfriend, Tanya." Rose had that familiar evil glint in her eye.

"Well, you always were the mean one."

Just then, the doorbell rang. I went to open it and the chinese food had arrived. I paid the delivery boy and Rose and I quickly started our dinner.

"How was your day Alice? Anything good happen to you?"

"Well, today I gave Emmett a blowjob. Does that count?" Rose's eyes lit up like I knew they would. She loved details.

"You know what I want Alice. How was he? Was it good? Did you have fun? Come on, out with it!" Geez, and they thought I was impatient.

"I had lots of fun. He has a huge dick and of course I was excited! I mean, one look at it and my mouth started to water. But of course, I played it cool. I couldn't give myself away. I mean, how would I look then?"

Rosalie laughed and said, "desperate."

I glared at her. "Anyway, he was really sweet. He was careful not to gag me senseless, always watching carefully to make sure I was alright."

Rose rolled her eyes and said, "pussy."

"He is not! He was kind and gentle. Not all of us like it rough Rosalie. It wouldn't look too appealing for me to be gagging on camera. I'm sure the director would've loved that." I swear, she could be so dense sometimes.

"For your information, some people like gagging. My ex-boyfriend for example..."

"Stop right there! I do not want to hear anything about you and your ex-boyfriend."

"Is she trying to tell you her horror stories that she calls sex stories again?" Bella said as she came in the room.

I flew off the couch and ran into her body, giving her a tight hug. "Bella, you've got to spill. Tell us everything! We have a right to know! Was it a date? Did you kiss? Are you going to see him again?" I was getting frustrated with her. She wasn't answering my questions fast enough.

"Whoa there nelly. Slow down! Let me please put my purse down and sit down and I'll answer all questions."

I quickly sat down and impatiently tapped my foot as Bella slowly made her way to the couch.

"Well?" I asked.

"Well what?" She said, clearly mocking me.

"You'll spill this instant if you know what's good for you Isabella Marie Swan!" I was through playing games.

"Okay, okay. He asked me out for coffee because he was having girl problems."

Rose and I exchanged looks. This was good news? Even if it was about an ex-girlfriend, it was still in poor taste for him to bring it up. I sighed. Bella always falls for the losers. This Jasper fella must be an idiot.

"Why was he talking to you about his girlfriend troubles?" Rose asked, though not very tactfully.

"I never said he was talking to me about girlfriend problems, I said he had girl problems."

"Bella, please stop being an ass and clarify for us." I said, extremelly sweetly, warning her I was on the verge of a melt down.

She then told us some need to know only facts about their conversation. After hearing about her afternoon, I changed my mind about Jasper. He was probably a sweet, sensitive guy after all.

Rose got up and went to the kitchen saying, "I'd tell his friend John right away what was going on. If he didn't listen to me, well then it's his loss, not mine."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, I think you gave Jasper some sound advice. There's really nothing more that can be done. I'm glad you could be there for him."

"Me too Alice. I just hope it can develop into something more. It just seemed too friendly, our afternoon date. There really didn't seem to be any sparks flying."

"Just give it some time, Bella. You'll know for sure tomorrow night when you go out. No worries." I really hoped Bella was wrong. Jasper sounded good for her.

Rose came back and and said, "So Bella, how was your sex scene with your buddy?"

Bella slowly smiled, a blush creeping up on her cheeks. "It was really good. I have to say he seems to know what he's doing. He's got excellent control of his hips and a really firm grip on my ass..."

"Stop right there." Rosalie looked strained. I didn't think she could handle anymore sex talk. I looked at her sympathetically. Rosalie always had the hardest time when we had our dry spells. "I'm going to bed already. And don't come knocking on my door unless you want to hear something you really wouldn't like."

I honestly wanted to go to sleep in peace tonight, so I put on my little radio by my nightstand and I assumed Bella did the same. We didn't need to hear Rosalie ; we had our own probelms.

MEANWHILE, BACK WITH THE BOYS...

EPOV

It feels so nice to be home, lying in my bed after a long day, I thought. My thoughts went back to Rosalie and how my day went with her. She was a very, very beautiful girl with a good head on her shoulders. She doesn't let anyone tell her what to do or how to do it, and isn't afraid to tell you how it is. She looks like a very good friend, a loyal friend. But only if your one of the lucky few that are able to make it on her friendly side. She's got a nice body as well. Very nice. I couldn't help but remember how she looked like. I closed my eyes and the thought of Rosalie naked in front of me started to wake up Little Eddie, that is, until I felt someone land heavily on top of me.

"Hey Edward! Did I scare you?" Emmett laughed as I tried to shove him off of me. He was definitely that last person I wanted on top of me.

"Em! Get the hell off of me!" I yelled, but he was too heavy for me to lift.

"Geez Edward, you act like I'm going to rape you or something. I'll get up, hold on." As he was lifting himself off of me, his had grazed over the front of my pants, causing him to feel my hard-on. Emmetts eyes got huge. "Uhhh...Edward? Look man, I don't know how to say this but I don't really like you in that way. I'm sorry if jumping on you gave you the wrong impression, but..."

"What the fuck Emmett? You've got to be kidding me. There is no way in hell I'm attracted to you. I had this going on before you came in here and physically attacked me." I couldn't believe what he was thinking. I seriously had to have him go in and have his brain checked out.

He relaxed noticeably. "Oh thank God. I thought I was going to have to move out; either that or throw Jasper at you. He looks more like your type than I do anyway. So who were you thinking about?" He was looking at me wiggling his eyebrows.

"What do you mean Jasper is my type? I don't have a type. I could be anybody's type." I don't know why that caught me off guard. It just did. Maybe it was the fact that he thought he was too good for me.

"No way Edward. You need someone that likes the same kind of atmosphere that you do. You and Jasper could sit in a silent room together while he poors over history books and you sit and play your piano. You see? Two peas in a pod."

"No, but they say opposites attract, remember Emmett? I could attract someone that's my total opposite"

"Yes, but the question is, would you want to attract someone like me? Someone that would make you go to car shows, or embarrass you in public, or even make out or have sex out in public areas? You'd be willing to put up with me?" He looked at me with a smirk on his face, knowing what my answer would be.

"Hmm, I guess your right. Jasper would be the better option for me...wait, what the hell am I saying?!" I couldn't believe where the conversation had headed.

"Hey man, I was just trying to let you see some reasoning. It's not my fault you want me."

I rolled my eyes as I thought about the sense he made. In fact, Rosalie was like him in many ways and would probably do all the things that Emmett just said. And truly, would I ever be able to deal with something like that? I didn't think I would. Either way, I was glad Tanya wasn't like Rosalie. Tanya was exactly the way I wanted her to be.

"So dude, you never told me who you were thinking about?"

"Rosalie" I said automatically, and instantly regretting it.

"Ohhhh, she must be a looker huh?" Emmett said, with a far away look in his eyes.

"Yes, she is, but our stupid little conversation made me realize something Em."

"What's that?"

"She's not the type of girl that I would want. She reminds me an awful lot of you. I hope to God that you find someone your polar opposite Emmett because I'd hate to be around if you found someone like you."

He just had a goofy grin on his face. "I'll remember that Edward, when I'm out looking for a girlfriend."

"Hey, so what did you want before you came blasting into my room?"

He motioned for me to follow him into the kitchen and gestured towards the cabinets. "We've really got nothing to eat tonight Edward. Jasper's not back yet and I'm starving."

"Well, we can always have sandwiches. It's not the best, but it's something." Emmett and I proceeded to make ourselves our dinner of kings and then sat down to eat.

"So Em, how was your day?"

"It went extremelly well. We had our blowjob scene today." He was looking at me with an evil glint in his eye.

"Sooooo?" I didn't understand what he was doing.

"So it went well." That's it? This whole time waiting for this particular scene and that's all I get?

"How well did it go?"

"Ask me Edward."

Oh. I understood.

"No, Emmett, I will not play your stupid games. Just tell me."

"No. Not until you admit that you want to know as much as I do and you ask me to tell you."

"This is fucking stupid Emmett. Don't do this."

"I can wait all night Edward."

I rolled my eyes and huffed impatiently. "Fine. I want to know as much as you do Emmett. How was Alice at her blowjob?"

He smiled hugely and said, "Dude, she was fuckin awesome! Man, that girl has a mouth on her!"

"What girl?" We turned around and saw Jasper walking in and coming towards us.

"Oh, he was telling me about Alice and his day today."

"So she's got a mouth on her huh Em?" Jasper said with a wicked grin on his face. That just encouraged Emmett more.

"Yeah man, she can suck on you like there's no tomorrow. Damn it felt good. I wonder what she thought of me? Probably thinking what a beast I am"

Jasper and I exchanged glances and started laughing.

"Sure Em, whatever lets you sleep at night."

"What about you Edward?" Jasper asked.

"Our scene went very well actually. I think Rose might be a little deprived sexually because it seemed to me she was getting turned on by my acting."

"Are you sure it was acting Edward?" Emmett threw in there while looking at me.

"Of course Emmett. I'm not going to cheat on Tanya. What kind of guy do you take me for?" God, I hope I was acting.

"Sorry Edward. I didn't mean to offend you."

"Well, what about you Jasper?"

"My day also went really well. Bella's a good sex buddy. Man, she's got a beautiful body. And the way she arches her back up as she's faking an orgasm is incredible."

"Why was she faking an orgasm Jasper? Were you not good enough?" Emmett started laughing.

"No you asshole, we were filming." He looked annoyed.

"Anyway, what took you so long?" I asked, trying to steer clear of what Emmett said.

"Oh, I had some coffee with Bella. We had a good conversation."

I'm pretty sure Emmett and I were looking at him like he had grown tits. I could tell he instantly regretted saying anything.

"What does that mean?" asked Emmett.

"Nothing. It just means we sat at the coffee shop talking."

"What does that mean?" Emmett asked again, clearly confused.

I looked over at Emmett and quickly smacked him on the side of his head. "It means he just talked to her. Nothing more and nothing less."

"But wouldn't that give her the signal of friendship instead of relationship?" asked Emmett.

"Well, all good relationships start off as friendship don't they?" asked Jasper, but clearly, Emmetts words made him think.

"Well, what did you guys talk about?" I asked.

Jasper started shifting in his seat and said, "Just about things. You know, getting to know you sort of stuff."

"Yep, definitely friendship." said Emmett.

"You never know Emmett. Bella might be the type of person that likes conversation as much as all other things in life." I said, hoping to give Jasper some kind of hope.

Emmett got up to move towards his room when he looked back at me and said, "You and Jasper. Two of a kind."

I grimaced as he walked away laughing.

"What's he talking about?"

"You don't want to know." I said, as I made my way to bed.