Hi! How's life? Well mine is .

I'd like to thank those who reviewed last time, those who put this story on their alerts and favorites. I almost cried because of you! You know who you are…I can't mention you all. Thanks a bunch!

So this is EPOV. I'm warning you, it might suck. I had a hard time writing this chapter. I don't know how to write in EPOV. So I apologize in advance. I'm really scared with this chapter. Sorry. Stick with me please?

I don't own anything! Just the plot.

When you commit mistakes, you learn from them.

And that's exactly what I did. I learned. Finally.

I learned that I cannot live without Bella. I learned that I was a coward. I learned that I was cheater. I learned that I am not worthy of her, but then again, I always want her.

The years I spent with Bella were the happiest of my life. That senior year when I first saw her was like a miracle. I never thought that I'd ever see someone as perfect and wonderful as she is. I almost fucking died when she agreed to date me, more so when she told me that she loves me.

Everything was smooth, we were in heaven, until the day I proposed to her. I should be happy. I mean, I was happy. But Bella started thinking about having kids, practically planning our lives and I wasn't ready for that.

"I'm excited to have kids," she told me while we were sitting a blanket in a beautiful beach in Hawaii. I planned this trip for us to relax and for me to propose.

"I hope they look like you, how many kids do you want?" she asked me.

"whatever you want," I said as I tightened my grip on her waist.

truth be told, I wasn't ready for kids. I wasn't ready for all the commitment she was demanding from me. I can't do that. I was busy with my residency and I don't think that I could deal with crying babies.

The month after that day, Bella became so busy with the wedding. We barely talk about anything but the wedding. She became obsessed with the wedding. I felt like I was losing her. But in fact, I was the one pulling away. She tried engaging me to the wedding planning, she even tried to convince me to attend pre-marriage counseling.

"why do we have to do this counseling?" I asked her as she handed me the pamphlet.

"I just think it will help us get ready and give us an idea on what to expect," she answered as she continued on making our guest List. "Won't you help me with this?" she asked.

"I can't, I need to go somewhere."

"oh. Ok!" she stood up and walked to me. she raised her arms and put it around my neck. She titoed and kiss me gently. I didn't return it back. I didn't kiss her like I did before. She pulled away, smiled a little and said, "I love you."

"I do, too," was my only response. I realized she was the only one working on our relationship. And that was why I had to go.

As I pulled away from her, I stepped closer to another woman. Tanya. I talked to her when I'm bored. I talked to her about my feelings, about what I want to do and what I was thinking. Those were the things that I should have told Bella, but I didn't. I missed the excitement that she was once giving me. Somehow, Tanya gave that. We started going to dinners and clubs several times while I left Bella at home by herself. I was thankful that time that Bella doesn't suspect a thing. In her mind we were still the happy couple especially because we were getting married. I never slept with Tanya. Kiss, maybe. But I never felt the sparks I felt when I was with Bella.

"You know what, you shouldn't get married. You want all this freedom, you don't want that commitment your fiancée is giving you." Tanya told me while we were having drinks at one club that we go to.

"But I love Bella. I want to be with her for the rest of my life," I told her.

"if you do, then you wouldn't be here." she smiled at me and drank her martini.

That actually made me think. Why am I here? I should be with Bella. I should be with my wife to be.

When I got home that night I found Bella sleeping on our couch. She woke up as I was carrying her in my arms to our bed. I lay her there and then changed my clothes.

"We need to talk," she said. "if you don't want to continue the wedding, just tell me."

"What made you think like that? Of course I want to continue this." I said. The sad part is, I didn't mean it. I just don't want her to get hurt.

"it's just that this past few months you have been cold. You never talk to me about anything. I feel like your slipping away." I can see her tears. I knew she was trying to hold it back for quite a long time.

"I'm sorry, I was just…" I don't know what to tell her, what would be the perfect excuse?, "I am nervous."

She smiled a bit. "you don't have to be nervous, I assure you I'll be there."

"yeah." And with that the conversation died. Little did Bella know that a month later, I was the one who won't be there. I ran away. I lived in Chicago for 2 years and never told anyone from my family. And now I'm back to start over again.

That day when I saw Bella in the supermarket, was the day I started believing that Bella will be the only girl for me. I believed in second chances, and I'll fucking get one.

And then she spoke those words. "Do I know you?"

My heart shattered again. That night, I cried. I cried for every memory of us that she can't remember. I cried for the love that she might never feel again for me.

I'll make her love me again. I swear that. I will. I'll do everything all over again. I'll make her remember what we used to be.

So? What do you think? Sorry if it's bad. I'll do better with the BPOVs.

Do you want to kill me now? please don't. stick with me, will you?

Tell me what you think. The "Lunch" will be the next chapter.

X0x0-sheils