I'm thinking I should end this story soon, because I'm feeling a steady decline in the quality of the chapters. Probably because I'm so busy obsessing over getting Invasion chapters up that I'm not paying much attention to this fic. I'm just so distracted lately and I apologize that the latest chapters aren't as funny as the earlier ones. So, here is the second or third to last chapter. I haven't decided yet. It's a montage of sorts. I'm combining the rest of my planet ideas into one big chapter. Hope you like it!
Pergjithshme: Haha yeah, that chapter kind of wrote itself if you know what I mean. I started out writing it, then let the ideas come to me. The result was…well…that.
AaylaKit: Yeah, I see where you're going there. Sorry for Party Rocking just sounded so appropriate for the situation, you know?
Ayy Kaim: That planet was difficult to write, I'll admit it. You've got family in England? HOW AWESOME IS THAT? :D Wow, people in my school are immature, but they don't do that. Hmm, I'm not sure if that'd make you Ayy-Two. I'll leave that up to you. Or you could ask Kit. I'm sure he'll have an answer. Haha, Loki. He would do that. I'm not sure if you read Chapter 11 in Invasion, but Loki has an epic moment of epicnicity that makes me fangirl like crazy. AaylaKit can tell you. It was awesome.
DarkAngel620: The Emperor was from the fairy tale called "The Emperor's New Clothes" or something like that, in which tailors pretend to make new clothes for him and say that they're invisible only to him. So he thinks he has beautiful new robes and parades through the streets in his underwear. Everyone is too afraid to do anything but compliment him until a little boy laughs at him and he gets all embarrassed and runs home.
Cult of Personality: So…you're my 99th AND 100th reviewer. Congratulations, bro! And yes, Kit is beast as kriff. He's also epic and awesome like a boss. :D
Whip-Owl: It took me awhile to come up with a title and I finally settled for that one. Ha, it would have sucked if there was actual tea. Kit would've had a fit, probably.
Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka tumbled out of the Portal. Anakin stood up, and the first thing he saw was Kit falling backward out of the Portal. His eyes followed Kit all the way to the ground. His back hit it hard with a dull thud. That looked like it hurt.
Kit made a groaning noise. "Dude, you were supposed to catch me! That's the whole point of the trust fall!"
Anakin shrugged. "Sorry. Wait…" He stared at Kit, who had changed color the moment he hit the ground. "Why are you a purplish-red?"
"What?" Kit stared at his hand in shock, then looked up at Anakin. "Don't judge! You and Obi-Wan are blue!"
Anakin gasped and looked at Obi-Wan. "Whoa. Nice. Hey, Snips! Look at me."
Ahsoka turned around. She was mostly green. "What does this mean?" she asked.
"It means we're on some type of inverted-colors planet," Obi-Wan said.
"Okay." Anakin looked at the red grass and the orangish-tanish sky. "Now what?"
"We should leave," Ahsoka said. "This is boring." She turned around to see that the Portal was back already. "It's…green," she said, staring at it. It was indeed a very light green as opposed to its normal pink glow. "This planet has everything flipped around! Even the Portal!"
"Well, let's go." Kit stepped through this time, knowing that if he trust-fell, he would injure his back. Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka exchanged glances, shrugged, and joined him.
For the next planet, the Portal appeared on the ground. The Jedi did not understand why until they felt themselves rising upward.
"Uh-oh. This can't be good!" Anakin said anxiously. "Is this some kind of Anti-Gravity planet?"
"Must be," Obi-Wan said. "Do you think it's low on gravity, or is there no gravity at all?"
"I'm not sure. Either way, we're getting higher," Kit said.
As they floated further and further up, they began to grow panicked. What if they floated into space? Before they got a chance to worry about this, the Portal appeared above them, taking them to a different dimension.
This time, when they landed, they felt the opposite of the Anti-Gravity. Their bodies felt heavy and it was difficult to get up from a horizontal position.
"Master…Master?" Ahsoka mumbled blearily.
Anakin yawned. "Yes, Ahsoka?"
"Where are we?" She looked around, but her vision was blurring and her eyelids were as heavy as her limbs. "I…can't…focus…"
"You're on the Sleepy Planet!" a voice said cheerfully. "Whenever travelers come here, they fall asleep." The Jedi looked up to see a hazy thing that looked somewhat like a male Fairy. His voice sounded very strange. Perhaps it was just because they were exhausted. When no one responded, he said, "In other words, they fall asleep and do not wake up."
This got Kit's attention, but the other three were too tired to take it in. "Never wake up?" Kit fought sleep as hard as he could. "Guys, don't…fall…asleep!"
Anakin hit the ground and closed his eyes. Kit grabbed his shoulder and shook it with as much energy as he could muster (which wasn't much, considering that it was slowly draining).
"There's nothing you can do," the creature said. "Your energy will slowly diminish until you have no choice but to give in to sleep. Just let it overtake you. You will then be taken into a world of eternal dreams."
"You mean we won't even die? We'll just be trapped in another dimension?" Kit shook Anakin harder. "Don't let it take you! Don't give in!"
The creature laughed. "It is always entertaining to watch new victims fall under the pressure of sleep. It is just too ironic. You thrive on sleep—you need it to live—and now you are falling victim to it."
"Shut up!" Kit glanced backward and saw the Portal waiting for them. "We must get to the Portal, guys," he said, his voice getting softer as his body grew more exhausted. He pulled Anakin onto his back and crawled desperately toward freedom. Ahsoka and Obi-Wan watched him lazily, then copied him. At last, before the creature could stop it, the Portal sucked them in the rest of the way.
They tumbled out in a heap. Anakin was still on top of Kit. It took a few minutes for their energy to restore, but it did at last.
"Anakin?" Kit pulled the Jedi Knight off of him and saw that he was unconscious. "Oh, no! We're too late! Obi-Wan, look!"
Obi-Wan crawled over and looked down at Anakin's sleeping form. "I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I should have tried to help you get us out of there…I was just so…disoriented."
"We all were," Kit said, waving away his apology.
Obi-Wan shook his former padawan as Kit had done on the Sleepy Planet. "Get up. Anakin, please…"
Anakin opened his eyes and coughed. "Hey, guys," he murmured groggily. "What happened?"
Ahsoka let out a sigh of relief and Obi-Wan wiped a tear from his eye. "Don't worry about it," he said. "I'm just glad you're okay." He looked around and saw a man walk up to them. "Let's ask him where we are," he suggested. "Excuse me, sir?"
The man looked their way. "Excuse me, sir?" he repeated Obi-Wan.
"…Okay. Where are we?"
"…Okay. Where are we?"
"Are you mocking me?" Obi-Wan demanded.
"Are you mocking me?" the man answered in the same tone.
"Forget it. Let's look somewhere else." Obi-Wan helped Anakin up and the four of them turned away.
"No, wait! I was just kidding. It's a game, see." The man rushed over to them. "Hi!"
"Hey," Kit said. "What's up?"
The man looked offended. "I don't know! I'm not good at math!"
Kit glanced at the others. "Okaaaaay. Um, where are we?"
"You're right in front of me," the guy said, sounding confused.
"We're getting nowhere," Anakin scowled.
"Well, obviously. You just standing there, so how could you be getting anywhere? I'm not that dumb," the stranger said.
"Are you getting smart with me? You wanna go?" Anakin loomed threateningly over him.
"Go where?"
Anakin facepalmed. "Never mind. Obviously we've found the Planet of the Idiots." He turned to see the Portal and stepped in. The man's eyes bugged out and he watched as the other three followed.
"Dang, that thing's shiny!" He ran toward it, but it disappeared before he could go in. He fell in a heap on the ground and looked around, puzzled. "Why am I on the ground? Oh look, a penny!"
The next planet was creepy like the Evil Planet. The Jedi found themselves in the middle of a graveyard.
"What gives?" Kit asked. "Aren't creepy graveyards and full moons a little…cliché?"
Ahsoka's eyes widened. "Yeah…and aren't zombies not real?"
"That depends on a lot of things, Snips," Anakin explained. "Sometimes, when someone uses voodoo magic, they can bring corpses back to life, and therefore—"
"Master, look, there are zombies coming straight for us!" Ahsoka screamed, clutching Anakin's arm.
Sure enough, a horde of zombified corpses were walking slowly toward the little band of Jedi. They even made the creepy sound effects that zombies make when they are hungry.
"Well, what do you know?" Anakin asked, plastering a fake smile to his face. He put a hand on his lightsaber, but Obi-Wan stopped him.
"It won't be any use here," he said warningly.
"So we're just going to let ourselves be devoured?" Anakin asked.
"No, we're going to go through the Portal," Kit said. "Ladies first! Move, Ahsoka, move!"
Ahsoka jumped through without hesitation. Anakin hoped that their zombie friends would not follow them through it. Considering no one has done so yet, it was likely that the creatures would not. But still, it was a possibility that Anakin did not want to mentally imagine. Once Ahsoka was through, he dove in, followed by Kit and Obi-Wan.
"Are we good?" Anakin realized that his eyes were closed and his hands were clenched into fists.
Kit laughed. "Yes, Anakin. We're fine. Why're you so afraid of zombies?"
Anakin shrugged. "Not sure. Anyway, where are we this time?"
A droid rolled up and beeped at him. "It looks like Artoo," Ahsoka said.
Anakin shook his head. "No droid looks like Artoo. He's one of a kind."
The Jedi looked around them. They were surrounded by droids of different shapes and sizes. The whole planet was made up of droids rolling, flying, and fixing things. There wasn't a live being in sight. Anakin, Kit, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka were the only living things within parsecs.
"Um, this is interesting," Kit said. "Glad we saw that. Yep. Really cool."
Anakin yawned. "It's not like we don't have tons of those back home."
"Yeah. Let's get going." Kit snapped and the Portal appeared.
The other three stared at him. "You can do that? Why didn't you do this all along?" Obi-Wan asked.
Kit turned around. "Huh? Oh, wow." He stared at his hands. "I think that was merely coincidental. I doubt I have the power to summon the Portal of Destiny. It summons itself. It's like it has a mind of its own. And right about now, it wants us to step the kriff through already so we can get to the next world."
As they stepped through, Anakin wondered how many more worlds they would visit before he got to go home to Padmé.
As soon as they stepped out of the Portal, they were bombarded by people that spoke in different languages. They didn't seem to understand each other. "Does anyone speak Basic?" Anakin shouted over the mass of people. Everyone stared at him as if he was insane. "Anyone? No? Okay." He pointed to his chest. "Anakin." He pointed to Obi-Wan. "Obi-Wan." He did the same with Ahsoka and Kit. He did a circle with his hand, motioning to the group as a whole. "Jedi."
The group continued to stare, then started shouting in different languages again.
"Stop it, we can't understand you!" Anakin shouted, frustrated.
"Let me try," Kit said. He started speaking one of his native languages, Anselmian. One of the people there started talking back in the same language, though he could barely be heard above the others that continued to speak rapid gibberish. "He says that it is impossible to live here because he cannot understand anyone," Kit shouted over the noise. "He is relieved to find someone who speaks his language."
Anakin frowned thoughtfully. "Right now, I need quiet so I can think." He used a hand gesture to indicate that he wanted them all to leave. The group stared at him a moment, then, little by little, they dispersed. "Finally. Some peace." He faced a big guy with gigantic muscles and covered in tattoos. "Beat it, dude," he said. The guy shouted something in his language. It sounded like nonsense. Anakin sighed, having had enough of this. "Maka mian gana gana lo mo tron! Gan."
The guy's eyes widened, then narrowed dangerously. He lunged at Anakin, missing his face by inches as the Jedi Knight ducked. "Gaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" the dude yelled.
"What did you say to him?" Ahsoka demanded.
"I don't know!" Anakin shouted.
"Whatever it is, you offended him," Obi-Wan said, stating the obvious.
Kit laughed. He had to admit that the sight was pretty funny. Anakin dodging blows from a big muscle-dude. Priceless. "Are you a Jedi or what? Use the Force, Anakin!"
Anakin had that "Oh, yeah" look on his face as he reached out in the Force to push his attacker away. He was not quick enough, however. The angry man lifted Anakin in the air by his feet and slammed him multiple times into the ground. When he was finished, he stomped away, mumbling under his breath in his language.
Obi-Wan rushed to Anakin's side. "Anakin? Anakin, are you okay?"
Anakin groaned. "Mom? Is that you?"
Obi-Wan glanced up at Kit, who rolled his eyes. "I got it." He leaned over and made like he was about to give Anakin mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
Anakin immediately jerked away and used his arms to shuffle himself backward several feet. "I'm fine, I'm fine!" he said a little too loudly.
"Don't worry, I wouldn't dream of kissing you," Kit said, his voice filed with disgust. "If you hadn't reacted like that, I would have punched you in the nose and called you gay for the rest of your life."
"Very nice," Obi-Wan said drily. "Can we just get out of here, please?"
"Gladly," Kit said, helping Anakin up. "There's the Portal. Let's go."
The Jedi stepped out of the Portal, Kit in the lead. Kit looked around and smiled. "Hey, guys? Remember on the Hug-Me-Bear Planet when I told you that it was my second planet, and you, Anakin, asked me what the first one was?"
Anakin nodded. "Yeah…?"
"Well," Kit said, grinning, "this was my first one."
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars.
AN: If you want an image of Anakin being smashed by the guy on the Foreign Language Planet, then watch the Hulk smash Loki in the Avengers. XD Anyway, sorry if this chapter wasn't that good. I felt kind of zoned out as I wrote it. I really wanted to update tonight, so I worked on it to the best of my ability. I hope you like it anyway!