Title: BROKEN
Disclaimer: I don't own anything about Sailor Moon
Authors Notes: Another quick chapter. There's only a couple left. I'll get them up by this weekend!
Darien woke up groggily and stretched his long legs out along the short couch. He felt stiff and sore, but he didn't complain. He shook his hair out and sat up, looking around him. The sun was shining through the windows and the house was completely still except for the sound of running water somewhere upstairs.
He yawned and stood up. He quickly checked over the house, making sure the doors and windows were still all locked. Everything seemed as it should. The clock said it was still very early.
He moved into the kitchen and quickly downed a glass of water.
"Sleep well?"
Darien spun around to see Lita sitting on the counter behind him. Her eye was very black and she looked like she had been crying. And yet she looked awake and alert, like she didn't care about the color marring her face.
Darien could only look at her a moment before he gently went towards her.
She didn't fight him off when he gently tilted her head to get a better look at her swollen wound. She just watched him.
"Zach said there's nothing broken," he said softly. "But you should ice it."
Lita held up a small ice pack she had placed beside her. "Already on the ball."
Darien didn't step away from her. "Why are you up so early?" He asked.
"Always am," Lita said shrugged. "When I'm with my dad I like to be gone by the time he gets up. When I'm with Serena I like to get up so I can make her breakfast before she gets out of bed."
Darien just watched her.
"She's been so good to me that it's the least I can do."
"She would never ask a payment from you," Darien said.
"She doesn't have to," Lita said. "It's not going to stop me from doing it."
Darien nodded.
"Thank you for staying," Lita said curtly. "But you can go now."
"If your father could……"
"When he wakes up in the morning he's pretty much incapable of doing anything. We'll be fine until tonight and then I'm sure Nathan will be glad to stay over."
"You really don't like me, do you?" Darien said.
"I don't like anyone who hurts Serena as much as you did."
"I can't remember…."
"That doesn't excuse it."
Darien felt the heat of her anger and knew that it wasn't all about him. She needed to feel strong again and she was standing up against him to prove that she could. He understood that. Weakness was the worst feeling there was.
"What do you want with her?" Lita asked.
"I love her," he said.
"Then let her be happy."
Darien shook his head. "I could make her happy."
"But first you're going to put her through a world of pain. That's not the same."
"She's not fighting me."
"She's confused."
"And you don't think I'm confused?"
Lita hesitated. "Whatever happened to you has made you into this shell of a person who can only seem to focus on her. You've become completely obsessed with the idea of her and I don't think you're even basing this on real feelings anymore. I think part of you remembers that night and you want to do it again."
Darien looked at her steadily.
"I'm going to tell you what happened and then you're going to leave," Lita said sternly. "Then you're going to let her be with Nathan and you're going to leave her alone. I thought talking to you again would make her realize that on her own, but looks like I'm going to have to interfere."
Darien didn't say anything.
"A few years ago you finally asked her out. She had been pretty much in love with you despite all your name-calling for years. She never really told anyone, but I knew. One day she had a fight with Raye and you were there to comfort her, and I suppose it allowed you to see what life would be like if she looked at you like she looked at everyone else and you were hooked. I think that's when your obsession with her began. You asked her out the next day and you went out that night.
Serena told me you were going and I helped her get ready for the date. I had waited for so long to see you ask her out. I knew that despite how you acted around her you were really a good guy. I was happy for her, and for you. I was happy that you two had found each other.
You took her out for dinner and then walked along the park. She had such a good time that she put all her trust into you and didn't fight you when you took her back to your place.
I don't know if it was always your plan to sleep with her but that's definitely what it turned into. You were her first. You told her you loved her. You said you wanted to be with her."
Darien felt the painful pull of an attack creep up on him and he tried to control his breathing. Lita never faltered when she talked. Her green eyes were steady.
"She stayed with you that night and you walked her home early the next morning. Before she could tell anyone about it, you started acting weird to her. She saw you at the arcade later and when she went to say high to you, you called her names like you had before. You were overly cruel to her and she thought you were doing it on purpose.
Then you called her someone else's name. Serena was so upset that she confronted you about the night before. You completely denied it and told her that you would never have sex with her. She never saw you again. You left the next day and nobody had answers for her. Andrew only said that you weren't yourself. I told her that maybe it was all a misunderstanding, but I wanted to throttle you."
Darien felt sweat rise on his brow and tried not to let it show.
"She never told anyone but me and it took her years to get over it. Even now she feels your cruelness. She hoped you would never come back. I hoped you would never come back. I wanted to kill you."
"Why did you let me back in?" He asked painfully.
"Because she needed to find a way to let you go. I hoped you would be a jerk like you were before and she would hate you. I hoped you would lose interest like you did before and push her away so she could be happy with Nathan."
Darien was reeling. He couldn't believe he had done something like that to her. It couldn't be true. His head pounded painfully and his heart wrenched in his chest. He couldn't believe it. It wasn't true. Then something occurred to him.
"Andrew said it was the night after I went on my date with Serena that he found me in my apartment."
Lita looked at him confused. "What?"
"That same night I had my first attack," he was thinking out loud.
"Attack?"
"That must be it. I would never do something like that to her. I couldn't."
"Darien, what are you talking about?"
"I have to go," Darien said feeling his heart pound in his chest.
Lita saw his sudden change into pain and she was concerned. "Are you alright?"
Darien started walking towards the door, but Lita could tell that something was wrong. The tall man held his chest, almost as if he were having a heart attack. His eyes had gone wild and he breathed raggedly. He slowed and almost stumbled near the door.
"Darien?" Lita asked trying to stop him from going outside. But he pushed passed her and made it half way down the walk before almost collapsing. Lita ran to him quickly. "What's going on?" She asked frightened. For the moment her anger was gone.
Darien quickly tried to pull that image of Serena into his mind, but he couldn't. Lita's words rang in his head and he could feel them pushing through, cracking his mind. He couldn't feel what was going on around him.
Lita didn't know what to do, but she felt fear grip her tightly when she saw the blood streaming suddenly from his nose. He gasped in pain.
"Oh god Darien, what's happening?"
There was only one thing he could make out.
"Don't let her see me like this," he said through gritted teeth.
Lita look behind her towards the house and then back at Darien. She was confused and worried. She needed to call the ambulance. But he couldn't be having a heart attack. He wasn't much older than her and he was healthy. Or at least she thought he was healthy.
"What can I do?" She asked.
Darien tried to close his mind off. He held his muscles tense around him, willing himself not to break.
It was if the world stood still for Lita. After a couple minutes she was sure he would die.
She just tried to hold him still. It was like he would seize at any moment. His veins pushed out from his neck with the strain.
And then, after what seemed like forever, he started breathing agai.
Slowly, Darien felt himself realize what was happening around him.
He felt Lita beside him and panic rose within him again.
"Darien? Can you hear me?"
Darien looked up at her feeling light headed.
Her green eyes were full of worry.
"Are you alright?" She asked with a tense voice.
Darien looked around him. The morning dew still hung on the flowers that lined the path and the sun illuminated the whole world. He took a few shaky breaths.
"How long did it last?" He asked breathlessly.
Lita looked at him confused. "About five minutes," she said.
Darien nodded. He tried to focus on the last thing that had happened. He remembered Lita telling him about what had happened with Serena. He felt sick.
"Was this an attack?" She asked.
"Yes," he said honestly. "But not a big one."
"Not a big one?" Lita asked surprised. "What does a big one look like?"
Darien stood up slowly, his whole body shaking. He felt weak and frail despite his size.
Lita helped him stand still by supporting his weight with her shoulder.
"Lita, I didn't mean to hurt her," he said after a moment.
She couldn't look at him anymore because she knew she would see truth in his eyes. She had been angry with him for so long that the idea that he might not have been in control of what happened had faded long ago. Serena had been devastated.
"Darien, if this is still happening to you then maybe it's not right to put her in this position. Even if you don't want to, you might hurt her again."
Darien stepped away from her rising to his full height again.
"When I was fighting for her I didn't have an attack," he said honestly.
"Until now," Lita said.
"Don't tell her," Darien asked quietly.
"Why? She might understand."
"I don't want her to feel sorry for me," Darien said.
They stood there, looking at each other for a long moment.
"What will you do now?" Lita asked.
Darien hesitated. Honestly he didn't know what he was going to do now. He didn't know what he could do now. In this moment of clarity he didn't know what was right or wrong.
"I'm going to protect her like I promised," he said. "That might mean I have to protect her from myself."
Lita nodded. "You really do love her, don't you."
"With everything I am," he said.
He walked away from her then, feeling the tension fall away from his body and leave simply exhaustion. He wiped the blood off of his face knowing that it had stained the front of his shirt. He felt hot, like he might have a fever. That had been close. The next one he might not be able to fight.
Nathan sat with Serena quietly, watching her try and read her book. A few days ago she had been so into that book that she couldn't put it down, and now he could see that she was unfocused and unable to remember what she had just read. She kept re-reading pages and sighing in frustration.
He tried desperately to be okay with what was going on. He wanted to support her and be there for her but he could see how much Darien was affecting her. Unless she still had feelings for him there was no reason for it.
Nathan let his anger at Darien boil over until it almost overtook him completely. They had been friends for so long and yet Darien was willing to throw it all away. That said, he might throw it away for Serena.
He pushed himself off of her bed and gently walked out of the room and down the stairs to join Mina who was sitting at the table with a magazine and a bottle of nail polish. She watched him sit across from her.
"How is she?" Mina asked softly.
"Fine," Nathan said. "She just seems a little frustrated."
"That's Serena, always taking everything to heart."
Nathan smiled. "Is that a bad thing?"
"Sometimes," Mina said honestly. "One day it will hurt her beyond repair."
Nathan could hear Lita crashing around in the kitchen. Mina cringed.
"She makes a lot of noise," she said sighing. "But it's always worth it."
"Mina, I'm going to ask you something and I want you to tell me the absolute truth."
Mina looked at him surprised, her eyes big and round. She nodded slowly.
"Is she still in love with him?"
"She never admitted that she was in love with him before. The only person she talked to about it was Lita," she said sadly. "I know there's something that happened between them, but she never spoke of it. She was upset for a really long time after he disappeared."
Nathan nodded.
"Do you doubt her?" Mina asked.
"No," Nathan said. "But I think she's confused."
"Do you hate Darien?"
"Sometimes," Nathan said honestly. "But he's my best friend."
"Well, then maybe you should find a way to go to the ball!"
Nathan looked at Mina curiously. He couldn't figure out where that change in subject had come from. She suddenly looked so excited and happy that he thought he was talking to a different girl.
He couldn't help but laugh.
"You are the strangest girl," he said smiling.
Mina just shrugged. "Serena and I are going, and Andrew to. It's going to be a lot of fun. I bought this dress that really shows off my hips…"
Nathan couldn't help but smile as he listened to Mina chatter happily about her dress. Her eyes were alive with excitement and she was so animated when she talked that it was impossible not to pay complete attention to her.
Despite himself he became excited about the ball, even though he wasn't going.
Serena watched Nathan talking to Mina and quietly made her way into her fathers study. She climbed out the window and was outside within moments. She could be back before Lita called them for dinner if she hurried.
She took off at a run towards his apartment. She was to upset to think about what she was doing. Her long legs took her smoothly through the city and she focused only on getting there.
This time she didn't hesitated. She knocked at the door firmly and loudly.
It took him awhile to answer. When he did he looked a mess.
"How dare you," Serena said angrily.
Darien looked at her confused. His blue eyes were tired and hazy.
"You come after me again and again until I'm so confused I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with you, and then when I finally let you in you leave without saying goodbye?"
"Serena, it's not……"
"No, I can't go through all this again. Either you want me or you don't, there's no half way."
Darien was so surprised that he couldn't move.
"I hate you for doing this to me," Serena said trying not to cry. "I hate you for coming back into my life. I hate you for disappearing when you did. I hate you for coming back now without an explanation. I hate you for…."
Darien moved swiftly towards her and trapped her lips with his own. His arms pulled her firmly towards him.
After the initial shock Serena fought against herself. She didn't want him to kiss her.
But her body gave in.
He kissed her passionately, like he had so many years ago. She could feel how badly he wanted her through his kiss. His taste was so familiar to her.
She felt her back touch the wall of the hallway and his body pressed against hers.
Serena started losing herself. All she could feel was the softness of his lips and the firmness of his hands holding her tightly to him.
And then she saw a flash of Nathan in her mind.
She pushed him away ferociously.
"Don't come near me again," she said venomously. "I hate you."
Darien could only watch as she disappeared down his hallway, still panting from their kiss. In that moment with those words, his heart broke and he knew he had lost.
End of chapter nine!
New chapter coming soon! Please review!