Disclaimer: Still not mine.

Ugh, I don't know, I didn't plan on it. It just happened.

Oh, it's you again. Imposing much? Are we that interesting? Okay, I know we are. Saving the world in a really bad-ass style, and stuff. Oh, you meant the part about us being perverted and mentally unstable is what's interesting, I see. Well, I can't deny it. Not when Steve is trying to push Tony off of his lap, and Loki is making cute little braids in Thor's hair. Yes, that's right. Loki is now officially out of the closet. He eats with us, watches TV with us, torments Coulson with us. He's a part of family now. Except, he doesn't help fighting the crime. Far from it even. He goes to every villain he can gain access to, and sells his services, like a whore he is. But he's a fugitive, and he's adopted, so we just have to keep him. Because we're nice like that. And Thor's delighted. We, not so much, because now, they do it all the time. Everywhere. And I mean everywhere. Not like your regular 'on a kitchen table' or 'in the middle of a hallway'. No. 'In Tony's workshop' like, and 'in Bruce's lab' like. Apparently, Loki has taken to heart my innocent comment about his weight, and tries to lose it by exercising the only way he knows, that doesn't argue with his aristocratic upbringing. I found myself not talking to him more than necessary after that. Actually, all of us try to avoid talking to him. "I beg of you to be understanding, and attempt at offering kindness," Thor says. "He is fragile." Only Steve listens. Because he's a frigging saint. And Tony. Because he's quite fond of the way Loki's thinking, especially when it comes to Steve. According to Loki's logic, Steve must be exceptionally repressed after spending decades frozen in ice. And does Tony like that. So, basically, Stark makes Loki stuff he can later sell to our enemies (counterproductive, if you ask me) in exchange for working Steve up, and providing Tony with wet dreams. And does Thor hate that. I hope Loki enjoys his punishments. Actually, I am somehow positive that he does. Bad, bad, bad mental image. Look at him. Leaning over Steve the second he succeeded in getting rid of Tony, whispering wicked lies with his evil-spouting mouth, making Steve blush seven different shades of red, the sly viper. You wanna know what perversions Loki is feeding Steve's mind with? Of course you do. I am not even surprised. After all, I live with Steve's number one fangirl. Yes, I do mean Tony.

"You know what also feels marvelous, maggot? When his tongue-"

Okay, we're leaving. I don't feel like listening to this. Ever again. He makes me sick. Doesn't he make you sick? No? How come? Am I the only sane woman left in the whole world? Oh, I'm glad you see the irony.

"Natasha!"

"What do you want, Stark? You make me sick, too."

"What did I do?"

"You were born."

"Oh, yeah, sorry about that. But it was a long time ago, and it really wasn't my fault! I thought we were past that..."

"What do you want, smart-ass?"

"I want you to spy on someone for me."

"Is it Steve?"

"Why would you automatically assume I want to spy on Steve? I'm hurt."

"Then who is it?"

"It's Steve. Wait! Please! Natasha?"

I am about to get irritated. I have to find Bruce. I want to drink Bruce's herbal tea, he always says it calms him down. By the way, are you, by any chance, qualified to replace me on the position of an Avenger? Too bad. Do you, perhaps, know a really vicious villain I could annihilate to vent my gradually piling up frustrations? No, a mean bitch from your school doesn't count as a villain. Really?

"Bruce! Tea! Now!"

"Did Tony ask something weird again? Or was it Loki this time?"

"They're both starting to annoy me. I'm not sure which one I dislike more. Which one do you dislike more?"

"Oh well, it's a tough choice... I mean, Loki did try to rule over our planet, but it was just that one time. Tony, on the other hand, pokes me with sharp objects several times a week. I really can't decide, Natasha."

"I understand. Which one do you think Steve dislikes more?"

"Steve haven't disliked anyone since Red Skull. Besides, he likes Tony."

"Ugh, don't remind me. I can't fathom why."

"Probably the same reason Thor likes Loki. And you and Clint... uh... you know. Because you're all insane."

"I don't like Clint. I just sleep with him."

"Like I said, insane."

"Please, is Clint even that likable?"

"Natasha, he moved out so Loki could get out of the closet, because he was afraid he'd kill him in his sleep, and make Thor sad. Tell me it's not cute."

"Oh yeah, I thought something was missing here... When did that happen?"

"Jesus. Here's your tea. I don't get you. "

That's why I am so irked lately. That's why I can barely cope with what's going on here. I am cut off my daily dose of good, hard, hetero sex! Damn you, Barton... I'll find you, and castrate you.

"So what, you want to sleep with Clint, too?"

"No."

"That was convincing. So would you like to sleep with me?"

"I think even you would be a little startled with closing your eyes on me and opening them to the other guy's rape face."

"Oh, right. Shame."

"Lady Natasha! I have been looking all over the vicinity for your person! I request your immediate aid!"

"Not now, Thor, I'm having tea with Bruce."

"But sir Tony and my brother are in the middle of a feud! And brave Captain Rogers appears to be shedding manly, may I state, tears in the corner of the chamber.

"So Loki made Steve cry, and now Tony wants to kick his ass. Same old, same old. They're some weird sort of grown ups, they can handle it themselves. What's the worst that could happen? Tony flies out of the window, and Loki gets hulk'd. Been there, done that.

Oh my, this tea really does sooth my nerves. I see everything from a right perspective again. Bruce is giving me a disapproving look, and Thor seems genuinely worried. And what's fantastic about it is, I don't care. I don't care anymore. It's like it used to be. This is amazing. I haven't been this excited since... never. Ah, I feel great. I have my priorities right back on the track. Find Barton, have sex with him for the last time before I castrate him (because I have Bruce's tea now), and go back home after Loki and Tony are finally finished, crying in Thor's and Steve's arms, respectively. You're not going with me. You're not staying here, either. Why the hell did I even let you in, in the first place? You took advantage of my temporary mental instability and sneaked in. So scramble, before I take you for a spy, and question you until you're not able to talk at all. Ever again. Be glad I'm in a good mood. Fangirls. Preposterous, really.

Wow, I managed to sneak in some really depressing stuff. At least for me. Because Bruce always depresses me. That's why I love him. I love you, Bruce. Love you.