Chapter 23

Myles knew he should probably wait until morning, but he was compelled by an urgency that just couldn't be denied. Sue would have told him a devil was riding him. He would have to say this particular devil's name was guilt.

The hours had drug on as Myles stared at the four walls in his hospital room unable to sleep, sniping at everyone who had the misfortune of coming into his room. He hadn't meant to say what he had last night to Hannah, but it had all come out before he knew it. Everything that had happened recently with the explosion and his injuries had caused the tension to build inside him, and he'd taken it out on her.

The last thing he'd intended to do was kiss her. However, try as he might, Myles couldn't get the image out of his mind. Every time he closed his eyes, he could almost feel her body pressed tightly against his. Despite his physical exhaustion, the sensual images of her in his mind made it impossible to sleep.

She's just a woman, Myles groaned inwardly, wondering what made Hannah so different from the other women he'd dated. She's just a woman, he repeated stronger, knowing in the back of his mind there was more to it than that.

Since the day he met her, Hannah had been an anomaly he just couldn't figure out. Very few people ever got the jump on him, but she had him pinned to the floor in seconds, begging for mercy.

Myles had to admit that little incident caused much of his animosity towards her while they were in Texas. However, since Hannah had joined the team, he'd come to think of her as a good agent. The one thing he'd never done, though, was to think of her as anything more than that. That is, until now.

After more than twenty-four hours of fighting with his conscience, Myles had decided to do the noble thing. However, the very thought of seeing her again terrified the tall New Englander more than anything he'd ever felt before.

Now, sitting outside her hospital room in his wheelchair, Myles struggled to control his breathing and erratic heartbeat. It took everything he had to force his hand up to knock softly on her door. Not hearing a reply, he pushed it open, his eyes instantly finding her as she lay propped against the pillows on the bed.

Despite the nurse fussing around checking her vitals, the room was dim. A single narrow beam of light above the bed cast a pale yellow glow over them, giving her enough light to see what she was doing. Myles wasn't interested in the nurse. The woman in the bed had his full attention.

As he stared, drinking in the sight of her, Myles cringed outwardly as he saw the dark bruises marring her high cheekbones. Even so, he found himself captivated, unable to tear his eyes away from her. Though it had only been hours, he felt like months had passed since he'd last seen her.

Myles slowly traced the lines of her face, as if trying to memorize every detail. It was then that he realized she no longer wore the bandages over her eyes. Hope surged inside him as he pushed his wheelchair through the doorway.

"Hannah?" Myles choked breathlessly, encouraged the lack of bandages meant good news for the brunette agent. When Hannah turned her head in his direction but her eyes didn't quite meet his, he had to struggle to swallow the sudden lump in his throat.

"Myles," Hannah replied, guarded, all of her defenses around her like a protective shield. "I hope you didn't try to take another walk on your own," she chastised, no hint of emotion in her words. Only the telltale pink tinge of her face under the purple splotches gave any indication of her inner feelings as she reminded Myles of the previous evening.

"No, I learned my lesson," Myles commented quietly, his own thoughts drifting back to how she felt against him as she helped him back to bed. "Decided wheeled transportation would be better for the long trips…though I'm still waiting for the upgraded model. We Leland's have a reputation to protect," he added with mock arrogance as he watched her.

"Yeah, but are you sure is it a reputation worth protecting?" Hannah smirked, the tension in the room slowly fading as she twisted her hands nervously in her lap.

A total stranger could surely hear the special warmth in Myles' voice as he spoke to the young woman in the bed, and Nurse Sav didn't miss it either. Under the guise of checking her patient's vitals, she noticed the way Hannah's breathing accelerated along with her pulse. She watched them both with an amused grin that she hastily suppressed when the tall blonde agent glanced in her direction.

"Uh, I'll just leave you to your guest, Hannah," Sav smiled cheerfully as she headed for the door. Catching the New Englander's eye, she winked at him knowingly before closing the door behind her, causing him to chuckle despite his somber mood.

"What's so funny?" Hannah asked curiously as she strained to figure out what was happening around her.

"Nothing," Myles replied, quickly easing his wheelchair closer to the bed. "I'm just….happy," he stated, realizing for the first time he really was. It was such a change in how he felt earlier that he had to wonder if it had something to do with being here with her.

"That's…eh…good," Hannah stated slowly, her brow furrowed in confusion as she tried to figure out the change in his attitude from the last time she saw him. "You deserve to be happy," she said softly.

"Does this mean you've forgiven me for the way I behaved last night?" Myles asked after a moment, reaching out to take her hand in his.

Turning her head away, Hannah promptly blushed again as she recalled the feeling of his lips on hers. However, she didn't try to pull her hand from his as he expected, taking it as a good sign.

"I know I acted, ah…" Myles stammered a bit awkwardly, his eyes drawn to their hands where he caressed her soft skin with his thumb.

"You don't have to explain, Myles," Hannah interrupted gently, her head snapping back around to face him her eyes wide.

"Yes, I do," Myles insisted, instantly ashamed at his abruptness when he saw her recoil. "All I've ever wanted to do was help others. My parents thought it beneath a Leland when I joined the Bureau, but I've been able to find a real home there. Bobby, Jack, the others, they don't judge me as a Leland, first born of Phillip and Elizabeth. I'm just Myles to them," he explained, his tone softer as he stroked the back of her hand tenderly.

"I understand," Hannah assured him, but Myles knew she really didn't.

She couldn't understand what it's like growing up in a house where nothing you did was ever good enough, Myles sighed, frowning. Even so, it didn't excuse what he said to her, or why he kissed her. Why did I kiss her? he asked himself, having struggled with that question all day.

"If you only knew what Anne and I went through, both thinking we could never measure up," Myles shook his head, trying to get back to his purpose for coming here. "It wasn't long ago that we didn't even speak to each other. Unfortunately, it took Anne almost going to jail for us to finally break the gap that had formed between us," he continued, his mind flashing to the times they'd shared since Callahan and Merced.

"Anne really cares about you," Hannah stated, bringing him out of his reverie. "You're her big brother, and despite what happened in the past, she really loves you."

Love? Myles thought. There was that word again. Love wasn't something that flowed freely in the Leland house. It was too common for Phillip and Elizabeth Leland, he groaned to himself, unable to remember them even saying it to each other, let alone either of their children.

"Well…" Myles coughed uncomfortably, jerking back when Hannah suddenly sat up and swung her legs off the bed.

"So that's why you are so pessimistic about things," Hannah stated quickly, not releasing his hand as she leaned toward him. "You somehow think that because you're hurt, you somehow won't be 'good enough' anymore. That if you can't go back to the Bureau that your parents were right," she paused, looking in his direction.

"Uh, erm," Myles stammered, unable to believe she'd nailed so quickly what it had taking him all day to come to grips with.

"Well, that's hogwash, Leland, and you know it," Hannah insisted, gripping his hand tighter when he tried to pull away. "Whether or not you can walk doesn't make you a man and won't make any of us think any less of you. With your experience, there are things you can do in the Bureau besides being a field agent, so quit the pity party, and buck up," she instructed, grinning to make the admonishment easier to receive.

"Ah…" Myles gaped at the woman across from him, surprised at her total acceptance of his foul mood, even without a real explanation.

Myles never got a chance to reply, as any words in his head slipped right out of his mind when the door behind him opened. Thinking it was the nurse again, he turned to ask if they could have a few more minutes.

The first thing Myles saw edge past the door was a short rod like the end of a mop, and then he saw the hand. Shocked, he realized that it was not a mop handle, but the barrel of a gun.

Reacting on instinct, Myles grabbed Hannah by the shoulders, throwing her to the floor. His body screaming out in protest, he dove after her, shielding her from the imminent threat behind him. He felt her tense under him as the distinctive ping of a bullet glanced off the wall just above them.