Chapter 34
Many hours later, Myles lay in his bed, awake in the dark, just wanting to hold Hannah next to him. He'd never meant to be so harsh, but being back in this house after the accident had brought back memories he'd thought were long buried. I shouldn't have taken it out on her, he sighed sadly as the grandfather clock in the hallway chimed the midnight hour.
When Hannah hadn't come in to go to bed, he'd gotten up twice to go look for her and gone as far as the door before turning around. The look on her face when he'd left her was something that would be etched in his mind forever. He'd never wanted her to be afraid of him, but his own feelings for the tall brunette scared him more than he cared to admit.
Until he could get past those foreign emotions, Myles thought they'd be better off apart. Then why does my heart ache every time she's out of my sight? he wondered, turning painfully over onto his other side.
When Ruth had come in earlier, Myles had fully expected her to chastise him for his prior behavior, both with the team and with Hannah. However, the old woman had simply dropped off a tray with dinner and left, never saying a word.
A part of Myles was relieved, thankful for more time to figure out what he was going to say to either of them. His chest tightened at the mere thought of the two women who'd come to mean more to him than life itself. I can't let anything happen to them, he resolved, unsure of what he could do to protect them, but knowing he had to do something. Still, it hurt a little to think that Mom was upset with him.
As the old clock chimed twice more, Myles tossed back the blanket and forced himself to his feet. Though his legs were still somewhat shaky, he made it easily to the door and out into the short hallway. Knowing this house better than his own, he didn't need a light to find his way. To his left were the bathroom and the master bedroom, while the kitchen and living room were to the right.
Shuffling into the living room, Myles stopped short when he saw a familiar shape asleep on the couch, illuminated by the pale light coming from the fish tank. For several long minutes, he stood in the dark, listening to the sounds of her breathing, content with just watching her.
When Hannah shifted restlessly in her sleep, Myles almost dived for cover, thinking he'd been caught in the act. Fortunately, she remained asleep, oblivious to her nocturnal watcher as he laid his head against the doorjamb, as close as he dared to be for the moment.
Reluctantly, Myles knew he had to go back to his room alone. He didn't want to have to explain to Ruth why he was standing in the hallway lusting after his co-worker. If Mom doesn't already know, he thought with an ironic smirk. The only real questions was, did Hannah? And would she welcome me if I take those few short steps to her side? he wondered longingly, but couldn't make his body move in her direction.
Finally, the cold damp air sent him back to his lonely bed, where he held on to a pillow instead of her.