Chapter Twelve

It didn't take more than fourteen minutes for Tidwell to notice Charlie's face. He wanted to ask, but he didn't. Two hours later, the curiosity that killed the cat threatened to do him in too. He leaned out of his office and called to the man for the second time in as many days, "Crews? A word?"

"Hope he's not gonna try and kiss me," Charlie deadpanned.

Dani hid her smile behind her hand.

Things had returned to semi-normal, or rather normal for them. He pretended not to love her and she pretended not to care. They worked the case and didn't talk about the evening prior. There was evidence to catalogue, lab requests to author and reports to write, even if their main suspect was dead. The work did not stop until the evidence supported what they already knew.

He glanced over at her before shutting the door to Tidwell's office and she was looking at him, just as she always did – assessing, weighing and measuring. He smiled softly and closed the door, just as he always did. She returned to her work.

"Wanna tell me how you got that shiner?" Tidwell was perturbed.

"Not really," Charlie was honest.

"She give it to you?" Tidwell pushed.

"I got it last night working the case," he replied. It was sort of true; from one perspective.

"You didn't answer me," Tidwell challenged.

"No," Charlie held his rival's eyes, "I didn't." There was iron in his voice and conviction in his eyes. The unspoken part of his message was clear – "and I'm not going to."

"Crews," Tidwell almost whined. "Dude, she's crazy messed up. You're a train wreck," he rationalized. "Leave her alone," he was almost making sense except that one part of him was still holding on to the idea Reese would come back.

"She didn't leave you for me," Crews said plainly.

"No?" Tidwell questioned. "Then why?"

And then it dawned on Charlie, like a bolt from the blue and saying it made it real, "she left you for herself. To stand on her own and to be okay like that."

Each man puzzled the words Crews had just uttered and what they meant to each of them.

Then without a word Crews opened the door and walked out effectively ending the conversation. He sat down heavily, opposite her.

"You guys kiss and make up?" she joked darkly without looking up.

"I owe you an apology," he said dully. The fact he'd discovered was still new to him and it felt awkward and real at the same time.

"Thought we did that earlier," she risked a glance at him.

"No," he vowed. "I thought I knew, but I didn't. Not like I do now. I know now why you left him and it wasn't about me."

Her brow twitched. This was dangerously personal for the work place and made her six shades of uncomfortable, but she knew Charlie and there was no shutting him up until he'd said what he meant to, "go on."

"You're okay," he smiled in awakening. "You're really okay and strong enough to be that all on your own. You don't need him, you don't need me, you don't need anyone."

She was impressed. She returned his gaze and then smiled softly, "that's right."

He sighed and began to return to work. She stopped him with a promise, "but just because I don't need someone - doesn't mean I don't want someone in my life." He blinked and swallowed, then she added, "someday," enigmatically without looking at him.

Her comment made him happy and sad simultaneously.

"I guess knowing that someday is out there and one day someday will get here will have to do for now," he offered meekly.

"Careful," she teased, "that sounds dangerously like believing in the future, which we both know doesn't exist."

Guess so," he commented neutrally.

She continued to work, but after a few minutes returned to teasing him, "I thought not knowing was something Buddhists aspire to."

"It is," he replied sheepishly, "but I'm not entirely Zen. There are some aspects of Zen I struggle with."

"No kidding," she deadpanned. They both laughed.

He'd give a thousand sunny days for just one of her smiles. Not knowing was something he tried to be content with, but at the time, on this day, with this woman he was having a particularly hard time with it. Still time was on his side and he was a patient man.