A heart cannot be fixed with Sellotape; only Glue will hold
***Chapter Eleven***
I'm coming down,
Bring me up,
Take it off,
Lets just touch,
Oh, it feels just like I'm losing control.
Control - Metro Station
"I'm feeling this is a dicsussion best left for home?" I said as I went to my car closely followed by Peter, Char and Jasper. The ride back was a silent one, but not awkward, it was shocked and I wasn't sure if it was because I was violent, because I beat the shit out of someone twice my size or because that someone was a shapeshifter and supernaturally stronger than me. Maybe, it was all three? I pulled up outside the Cullen's house and walked inside with Peter and Char taking up my flanks. What? I told you they were protective of me... When we got inside I was pulled into a huge bear hug by Emmett.
"Shit, Bellyboo! You just beat up a shapeshifter and you're okay! Where did you learn that stuff, your like some sort of Jackie Chan!" I laughed at his enthusiasm, at least I knew of one guy I could count on if I ever wanted a fight.
"I've been in martial arts classes since you guys left, I figured if I was gonna continue drinking and shit I should learn to protect myself incase I ever need it." At the mention of my less-than-productive past 'behaviour', Emmetts face darkened a bit.
"Well, at least part of you was thinking straight at that time I guess..." Carlisle commented from behind me, Emmett put me down then and I turned to face the two people in this world I thought of as healthy parents. Thats fucked up, right? When I gathered the nerve to look at them, I was surprised by the reaction that awaited me: two very relieved faces. I was confused, big time.
"Are you okay, Bella?" Esme, my mother, asked me.
"I'm not sure... aren't you mad at me? For fighting?" I asked, unsure of myself. Carlisle's face turned from shock to understanding.
"No, honey, of course we're not! Why would we be? That boy, that mutt, deserved everything you gave to him and some!" Okay, now I was shocked. Carlisle abhorred violence! Why would he say something like that?
"Really?" I asked again, I had to be certain, I mean this was so out of character for him, but Esme and he both nodded.
"Of course, darling! Now, come here and give your poor mother a hug, you scared the living daylights out of me today and I'm old! It's not good for the heart!" Esme said as she opened up her arms to me, I ran into them, I needed a mothers love, I wouldn't let anyone know it but Jacobs words today, cut me deeper than I could ever imagine. Carlisle joined in too and I felt a safety inside of me that only the love of parents can bring. After about a minute they released me and I smiled up at them.
"Oh, I nearly forgot, the contractors phoned about my apartment today, they're finished and the place is as good as new, so I think I'm gonna sleep there tonight, it's not that I don't want to be here it's just I think I'd like to sleep in my own bed tonight." I said as I looked around at everyone, Emmett was the first to voice his displeasure.
"But Bells, the mafia are probably still after you and they got into your place once before, whats going to stop them doing it again?"
"Hmm, Emmett, I don't know, maybe the state of the art security system I've had installed?" I replied, feeling smug, I knew that would be the Cullen's main argument.
"State of the art? Psshh, whatever who made it? What is it? I bet I could find a flaw in it!" He replied.
"The weapons room I had built next to my bedroom or th
e panic rooms I have or maybe even the numerous guns and knives I keep in every room of my house, all hidden and fully loaded. Actually, who knows, there is also the fact that I am a black belt in 7 different martial arts. I think there all pretty effective, don't you?"
"Ugh, I hate it when you make sense." He said, unhappy at my answer.
"Yeah, I know, it's a bitch. Oh well, I'll get my bag and be gone because I also have to work in the morning. The trial is coming up and I don't want that motherfucker to have a leg to stand on when he gets into that courtroom." I walked up the stairs and grabbed the bag of my stuff which I had never actually gotten round to unpacking and walked back down the stairs. I hugged everyone and said my goodbyes, when I got to Jasper's hug he held me a little longer to whisper in my ear so the others wouldn't hear.
"You have my number, a blank text or even a prank call from your phone and we'll be there faster than light, I promise."
"Thanks Jazz." I said, squeezing him tighter for a second to let my gratitude show. As I let go my heart longed for his touch again, I knew I was falling for him, which was another reason for me to leave, after Jacob I had decided not to let anyone close, it would only hurt me more when they let me go. I walked out of the front door and with last look at the people I called my - slightly dysfunctional - family, I got into my Aston and left. I thought about the weird hug I'd shared with Peter and Char and realised it felt familiar, it was a hug of goodbye, I knew they'd be gone the next time I saw the Cullen's and it was strange because I realised that the fact they hadn't said goddbye didn't hurt me because I knew, it was just their way.
I arrived home and got into my house, I felt happy to be home, I didn't have to hide myself here, I could be how I was, before the Cullen's came back, I could be me. So, keeping that in mind I went down the hall into my bathroom and started running the huge jacuzzi I had. While I waited for it to fill I went into my kitchen grabbed a glass of wine and downed it, not very ladylike, but hey, I'm not a lady. I poured myself another glass to take into my bath and walked back into the bathroom to turn off the taps. I removed my clothing and stepped into the bath just enjoying the heat of it and the relaxed feeling it gave me. It was then, as soon as I felt happy and content that I saw the two tattoo's on the insides of my wrists and all of a sudden, without warning all of the emotions I felt tonight came out of me and I started to sob. I sobbed for my babies, I sobbed for my life, I sobbed for all of my heartbreak and I sobbed for Charlie and Renee. I was in so much pain that I didn't hear the front door open and close, that I didn't hear the quiet, quick footsteps coming up my stairs, but I did hear my bathroom door open and in my pain I didn't care, in fact, I hoped it was the mafia coming to silence my pain forever.
But, it wasn't them. It was Jasper. Who looked as if he were in as much pain as me, then my brain caught up with and I realised three things at once. 1) He was an empath, so he felt all my pain. 2) I was in my bath naked and all of the bubbles were long gone. 3) He was the only person to ever see me cry. However, in my broken state, I didn't care. I looked at Jasper who was still frozen in the doorway and did the one thing I thought I would never do. I asked him for help. He came back to life at the sound of my voice and walked over to my radiator when I had a towel waiting for me, he then came towards me and lifted my into his arms whilst somehow wrapping the towel around my body. Bit too late for modesty now, eh? He carried me into my bedroom and dried me off on my bed, he then helped me get comfy on top of the covers and went to sit in a chair by the desk I had in my room, but stopped his movements when I spoke.
"You can sit on the bed if you want, it's comfier and I know you want to talk." He turned around again and came back to sit opposite me on the bed. He looked so awkward, his eyes were gold so I knew it wasn't because he was hungry, I couldn't help myself any longer so instead I crawled across the bed to him, sat in his lap and wrapped my arms around him.
"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry that you had to see me like that." I whispered to him. I was shocked when he wrapped his arms around me and cradled me like a baby, I was even more shocked when he spoke.
"Darlin', you ain't got nothin' to be sorry for, you hear? In fact, I'm glad I felt your pain when your started cryin' in the tub, 'cos lettin' yourself go like that, alone, is dangerous. God knows what can happen. Now, you were right we do have some talkin' to do, so I'll start and we'll see where that takes us, okay?" He said in a soothing tone, it was so nice and his accent coming out like that... God, I don't care how depressed I am, that man is just a ball of sex. I didn't dare say this out loud, instead, I settled for a simple nod.
"Okay then, well darlin' I think I can just about guess what caused you to break down, I'm guessin' everything that happened today was almost like a catalyst to set all your emotions free, am I right?" I nodded again and he continued.
"Well then, I think thats settled unless you wanna' talk about it?" I shook my head. "I didn't think so. So, now what are gonna do about us?" I looked up at him confused.
"What do you mean, Jasper?"
"You can't lie to me, Bella, Darlin'. Empath, remember? I know you've got feeling's for me and to tell the truth I have feeling's for you too. But, I also know that after everythin' you've been through, you ain't never gonna' trust those feeling's unless I prove 'em to you."
"You're right, Jasper, but, how do you know me so well?" I asked, he had me pinned to a 'T'.
"Cos', Darlin' I used to feel exactly the same way. You started changin' that for me. Now, I wanna' help you do the same."
"Jasper, it's weird, but I think you already have, I mean you know how I feel and in the bathroom you let yourself slip, I felt it, you love me too and I think that, even though it isn't wise of me, it's worth the risk, because my heart is telling me that you're worth that risk. I've said my piece, so now, the ball is in your court. What do you say?" Nothing apparently, because next thing I know his lips are on mine and all coherent thought is gone.
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Beckky (:
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Now for the boring part:
DISCLAIMER:
I am in no way,shape or form associated or affiliated with Stephenie Meyer. She owns everything apart from the plot. (Im The Genius That Came Up With That)And now that we've cleared up the fact I'm just your average Joe (or Beckky?) shall we continue with the story?
I think we shall...