CHAPTER EIGHT
"Am I willing to give up what I have in order to be what I am not yet? Am I able to follow the spirit of love into the desert? It is a frightening and sacred moment. There is no return. One's life is charged forever. It is the fire that gives us our shape."
-Mary Richards
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That night, Katara dreamt of fire.
Beautiful, consuming, raw…
Fire.
The ocher flames roared and hissed and flickered around her. The fire grew and spread, growing stronger and stronger until it reached a crescendo and softly seethed around her. It strange, to be enveloped by such fire, for instead of feeling fear, she felt…
Comforted.
Cherished.
The fire swaddled her, surrounded her, and protected her.
So when the fire seemed to coalesce around her, and she felt as if the flames lifted her up into a gentle embrace, and she heard a thousand arid tongues whisper to her, "Stay… Be here when I come back… Let me be the one to kiss you awake…"
She obeyed.
Because when the fire that raged around her seemed to be the only being capable of battling the night terrors that had gripped her since the death of everyone she loved… Who was she to leave when she had never felt so sheltered and treasured before?
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SULTAN'S CHAMBERS
EDESSA PALACE
THREE WEEKS LATER
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The wind rustled the gauzy ivory curtains and made them dance like the Mediterranean waves that used to gently lap across the Samoan shore. The tender gust lifted a few strands of Katara's hair, and it brushed across her face much like Zuko's trailing fingers had when he had gently kissed her goodbye in the pre-dawn morning. The breeze carried with it the smells and sounds of the arid desert, as well as a new, unfamiliar aroma. The new scent was layered, complex, and as it wafted around Katara's sleeping form, her nose twitched at the sudden shift in fragrance.
Katara's eyes blinked open, and she winced at the sunlight that streamed into the large, grand room. There, on the bed lying next to her, in the spot normally reserved for the Prince, was a single desert flower. The flower was a deep cerulean, and its petals drifted out of a center so inky black that it looked just like the desert night sky. Knowing unconsciously that the flower had been a gift from the sultan, Katara leaned over and picked gently picked it up by the stem, burying her nose in the flower's sweet scent. Just as she knew that the flower had come from Zuko, she also knew that it was a product of his dawn raids across the desert. In the brief amount of time that she had spent in his rooms, she knew that he always woke before her to watch the sun burst across the horizon. Some mornings, he took her along, but others, he let her continue to float adrift in a deep, dreamless sleep.
Morning, she thought to herself as she watched the sunlight cast shadows around the sultan's private chambers. Ever since the death of her family, morning was a time she used to savor, for it meant the end of a long, torturous night and a grateful waiver from her nightmares. But these days… these days it meant something quite different.
Katara smiled as she thought back to how much her life had changed since she and Zuko had shared so much more than a meal over a plates of honeyed dates and lamb. After that first night she had slept in Zuko's arms, she had awoken to him gently kissing her awake.
Good Morning, Katara. Did you dream? He had whispered to her.
No… not in the way I used to. No nightmares at all.
And since then, they had spent their nights together, one body curled around another, locked in a deep, dreamless sleep.
In the days that followed, Zuko had been busy preparing for the return of Ala-abin's soldiers, and spent the majority of his time attending war cabinet meetings and training soldiers for the inevitable battle that would ensue between him and the desert sheik. Katara spent her days atop a horse, thundering across the desert, leaving her nightmares and her anguish far, far behind. And, sometimes, if Zuko had managed to steal away from his meetings for a brief moment, they would wander the city of Edessa together. Katara blushed at what the citizenry, soldiers, and other members of the palace might think of their relationship, but for some reason… it didn't matter anymore. She knew that their relationship, while beautiful in its innocence, had yet to take a turn towards the seedy. Zuko had tried to be sure, but Katara had never felt comfortable. And the one time she had agreed, they had stopped half-way because Katara had broken down into a pool of tears.
What's wrong? Did I hurt you? He had demanded.
No… it's just… I can't help but think how far I have already let my family down since they have died… Please Zuko, please don't take this from me until I'm ready.
And since then, there had been no more talk of the consummation of their mutual desire.
So although the palace as well as the city assumed her to be his paramour, she knew the truth, and had taken comfort in the fact that Zuko had respected her wishes. They both knew the verity, and that was all that mattered.
And when word had come across the desert sands from Ala-abin himself that he had drastically reduced the size of his forces, from three hundred to a mere thirty, she had been there to hold off the storm that had gripped Zuko at being betrayed by friends of his own father.
As the days wore on, it became undeniable that a bond had formed between the two, and as more time passed whilst they cradled each other in their arms at night, the more and more Katara could not deny that she had begun to deeply care for the Betrayed Prince.
Yesterday, they had wandered the streets of the bazaar together, hand in hand, and had laughed at the antics of some of the more aggressive vendors, while letting the busy market blur into a kaleidoscope of colors and noises. Zuko had stopped at one in particular, dropped a quick kiss against her lips, and whispered for her to wait outside.
What are you scheming? She had teased.
Just wait. Be patient, for once in your life.
And with that, he disappeared inside. He returned some time later, holding something behind his back.
Close your eyes, he had commanded.
She had obeyed, a smile dancing across her face.
Now, hold out your hand.
She did, and she felt something heavy drop into her outstretched palm. She opened her eyes and saw a brightly wrapped package.
Open it.
Carefully, wondering what was inside, she unwrapped the package and gasped.
Inside was a circlet. It was beautifully braided, with three thin bands of gold locked around the other. And, in the middle, a small chunk of lapis lazuli was impossibly suspended, cradled around the pieces of gold like a lover in the arms of their paramour.
Zuko, I can't take this.
Yes. Yes You can. I had it commissioned just for you. And, if you don't take it, I'm going to go tell the jeweler that you hated it.
You wouldn't dare!
Would I?
At the hooded look Zuko had given her, Katara laughed.
Please Katara, he had whispered, gathering her hands un in his, and placing the circlet upon her head. Please, I want you to wear this tomorrow, when we welcome Ala-Abin's soldiers into the palace. I want everyone to know that you belong with me.
Please.
Katara frowned at the thought of enduring another welcoming banquet. But this time, the terms would be so much different than what had happened the first time she had taken part in such an affair.
Distantly, across the desert she heard the sound of drums drift through the gauzy curtains that served as window coverings. Ala-abin's men must have been spotted on the horizon, she though.
She steeled herself, and pushed up from Zuko's bed, brushing her hair away from her face. Tonight, she would dress herself in her finery and wear the circlet Zuko had given her. She would stand by his side, and be there for him because she knew how much it mattered to him. Given how Zuko had rescued her from the depths of her sorrow, and helped her pull herself from the soul crushing depression that had ensued after she had watched her family be murdered in front of her eyes… it was the least she could do.
So, she rose out of bed, stretched, and set off to go find Ty Lee.
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HAREM
NIGHT FALL
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"Oh, Katara," Ty Lee sighed, "You look absolutely beautiful!"
Katara looked at herself in the small watch glass Ty Lee had been afforded as a member of the harem. Who she saw reflected back at her was a stranger. The woman that stared back at her through the mirror looked so much older than the girl that had looked up at her in the tidal pools of Samos. She was dressed in a fine, gossamer gown of the softest white silk which had been gathered at her waist by a braided belt of glowing golden thread. Her dark mahogany hair been left to hang in waves down her back, and had been pushed away from her face by the beautiful circlet Zuko had given her. The clothes and the finery were a shocking departure from the threadbare tunic she had preferred to wear, the clothes were not what had made her feel like she was looking at a stranger. It was her face. Her cobalt eyes sparkled as if they were lit from within, her cheeks were flushed, and in the weeks she had spent with Zuko she had regained the weight she had lost in her grief and no longer looked gaunt and pale.
She looked… happy.
Healthy.
Whole.
She looked…
Oh God. I look like Mother.
At the sudden thought, Katara's eyes filled up with tears.
Mother… Father… Sokka… I wish you weren't taken from me…
"Hey! Hey," Ty Lee shouted, running over to Katara and throwing her arms around her neck. "Don't cry! You're too pretty to start crying again!"
Katara smiled weakly, and brushed away a few of her tears with the back of her hand. "I'm sorry, Ty Lee. It's just… standing here, like this… I… I need a minute."
Ty Lee nodded. "Okay! I have to go get ready anyway. Why don't you go get some fresh air in the garden? We still have some time before were supposed to be in the banquet hall."
Katara gently hugged Ty Lee. "I will," she promised, and turned around and left Ty Lee's room, gently closing the door behind her. She paused as she looked out into the Harem atrium. It looked exactly the same as when she had left it some three weeks ago to move into Zuko's chambers, yet she felt different there.
Like she wasn't welcome.
Shaking off the feeling, Katara wandered over towards the fountain that lay at the center of the harem courtyard. For some reason, the noise of the silky water cascading over and over again into the tranquil basin was always a source of great comfort to Katara. Distantly, she realized that it must be because the noise of the fountain was somewhat similar to the waves crashing on the beach in Samos. Katara smiled to herself, taking comfort in knowing that here in Edessa, miles away from the sea, she still had something to remind her of her ancestral home.
She sat at the edge of the fountain, and gently dipped her fingers into the welcoming water. The golden bangles at her wrists clinked and chimed together in a tiny symphony as she swirled her hand around in fountain's reviving waters. As she felt the cool water slip through her fingers, she smiled to herself. It was a far cry from the ocean, but still, the presence of water offered her a strange source of comfort.
She stiffened suddenly when she heard the heavy doors to the harem open and close, and swung her head around to see who had entered. When she saw who it was, she felt her heart skip a beat and couldn't help but smile.
"Zuko," she breathed.
He was dressed in a tunic made of silk the color of bitter chocolate, and the robe that swirled around his ankles had been died to the deepest crimson. As he strode towards her, the slanting afternoon sunlight of the courtyard made the jewels at his neck and wrists sparkle as though they were alive.
He stopped mere inches from where she sat at the fountain, and an answering smile played across the corners of his lips. He reached around her and pulled her hand from the fountain, gathering them at his chest and drawing her onto her feet. His amber eyes glowed as he surveyed her in the clothes he had commissioned for her.
He bent suddenly, and kissed her circlet where the chunk lapis lazuli rested against her forehead. "This," he murmured against her skin, "is almost the exact shade of your eyes."
"That's what Ty Lee said," Katara breathed as Zuko's lips trailed down her face and towards her lips.
"I knew I liked her for some reason," Zuko teased, before dropping a chaste kiss to her lips.
When he lifted his mouth, he pressed his forward against hers, and ocher eyes met azure. "You look beautiful," he whispered.
"You don't look so bad yourself," she answered, sliding her hands into his robe and kneading the corded muscle that lay beneath.
"Katara," he said, his tone gently warning.
"What?" she asked, admiring his barely leashed strength.
"Don't start something that we don't have the time to finish."
She looked up at him, her sapphire eyes shimmering. At the look in them, Zuko muttered a curse, and leaned down to his mouth against hers. Katara started to protest, but the words died on her lips as his tongue traced her lips and all she could think about was getting closer to him. Whispering his name, she stood on tiptoe, wrapped her arms around his neck, and buried her mouth in his.
The two stood, wrapped in each other, their breaths becoming one for a long, secret moment. Then, alarmingly, Zuko broke off the kiss, his breathing heavy. "Katara," he murmured, breathing kisses along her neck.
He lifted his head, looking her in the eye. "Will you still stand by me tonight?"
Katara reached up and rested her hand along the side of her face, her bangles chiming together. "Of course. Always."
He smiled the rare smile that she had come to realize was only for her. He took her hand by the wrist, gently lifted it down, and linked his hands through hers. "C'mon. I can't promise this will be the best four hours of your life, but at least will be together."
Katara squeezed his hand in answer, and together, the two set off for the banquet hall.
From her perch behind one of the alabaster columns that lined the courtyard, Mai quickly ducked around the back of the pillar so as not to be noticed by the prince and his consort. Her heart was beating wildly and almost out of control as she helpless sank down to the floor.
Three weeks she's slept in his bed.
Three weeks I've had to sleep in mine and know that she's been lying next to him!
Her fists clutched angrily at her sides as she tried to still the wild beating of her heart.
And that crown she was wearing… Zuko had never given anything like that to her. In fact, the gifts Zuko had given her had run more towards the mundane. A new bridle for her horse, new chairs for the harem… never jewelry or fine silks. Certainly nothing like the dress that Katara had worn or the circlet that had graced her head.
Her hands cradled her head as she tried to maintain her fragile grip on reality and processed what she had just seen.
After all I've done for him… after all the work that I've put in as his Kadin… and after how he treated me when he stripped me of my station…
Zuko...
Sitting on the outskirts of the garden, her knees laced tightly against her, her hands fisting in her hair, Mai suddenly knew what she must do.
He needs to bleed like me. He needs to feel what I'm feeling, what I feel when I think of that bitch wrapped around his body!
I must be the one to betray the Betrayed Prince.
And then, revenge and justice alike will be mine.
And Mai knew exactly where to start. She stood up, brushed the dirt from her gown, and went to prepare for tonight's dinner. After that, she would return to the barracks, and find a willing accomplice to her plan. If she could get Zuko's battle plans out to Zhao, then he would be finished.
Betrayed, once again, for the last and final time.
Mai smiled to herself, and suddenly, the chaos that she had found after watching her prince and Katara in each other's arms didn't seem so chaotic anymore.
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RECEPTION HALL
EDESSA PALACE
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In the glow of candles that were scattered around by the thousands in the great hall of the palace, Katara was eerily reminded of the first time she had come here. She had hidden in the back, determined to go unnoticed, and had watched the goings-on with discomfort rippling up her spine. Now, standing here beside Zuko, she felt millions of miles away from the scared girl who had come to Edessa all those weeks ago. Here, with his hand in hers, she felt almost as if she was home.
Katara, who had been late to the last grand reception, had missed the tradition that had been started by Zuko's parents long ago. Whenever any visiting royalty arrived, it was custom for the inhabitants of the palace to all line up and greet the guests at the first welcoming reception.
According to station, the Royal Council had all lined up on either side of Katara and Zuko in front of the long banquet table at the front of the hall, and the group was flanked by Royal Guards. Zuko's army, along with members of his harem, all stood at attention on the east and west sides of the banquet hall. The air was heavy with tension, and Katara noticed a small beat of sweat drip off of Zuko's forehead and onto the floor. She squeezed his hand reassuringly, and he shot a glance down towards her.
"Don't worry," she whispered. "It's Jet. You know him, and you know he'll be here with the thirty he promised."
"I know," he answered. "I just wished that they would get here already."
Indeed, as the entire inhabitants of the palace awaited the arrival of the visiting Prince and his prized soldiers, the walk from the guest quarters of the palace towards the main reception hall had never seemed longer. But suddenly, the heavy door to the reception hall swung open, and the advisor who had been given to Jet as a guide during his time at the palace stood in the doorway.
"My Lord and honored members of the Palace," he called in a booming voice, "I am pleased to welcome his esteemed grace Prince Jet, and his company of soldiers!"
Applause rippled through amongst the soldiers, council men, and harem members as Jet entered, fringed by his soldiers. Katara quickly recognized his easy languid movements and easy grace as he waved and shook the hands of the peoples he passed. She watched as he ambled up towards the front of the room, surrounded my young men in their battle regalia who all looked as if they were in peak fighting condition.
Smiling slightly, she looked over at Zuko, who seemed pleased with the men Jet had chosen. She too, began to look over the soldiers in earnest. They were all somewhat close in age to Zuko and the visiting Prince, and Katara instinctively knew that most of these men were probably Jet's closest friends and confidants in his own palace. As she scanned the visiting soldiers, Katara knew that they would make welcomed members of Zuko's army in his fight against Zhao.
For some reason, Katara's eye was drawn towards one soldier in particular. It was hard to see him across the hall at first, but as he got closer, the way that he moved and his quick smile reminded her of her own dear brother. Smiling in earnest, Katara watched as he too moved towards the front of the room.
Sokka… If you had lived today I'm sure you would have been one of the finest soldiers to ever grace Arabia.
But then… then she felt her heart rise in throat.
No. It couldn't be.
But there he was. The same azure eyes, the same lithe build, the same laughing smile. And when he laughed and joked with Yue who stood gracefully next to a few other members of the harem, who had offered him a kind welcome, she was reminded of the string of broken hearts that Sokka had left in Edessa.
Katara's breathing hitched, and she felt her heart race. Curious, Zuko glanced over towards her, but quickly looked back when Jet and his party stopped in front of him and offered a warm greeting.
The world blurred around Katara as the man who looked like Sokka locked eyes with hers, and his own blue eyes grew large in astonishment.
No.
Stop, it Katara!
Stop hallucinating!
It's not Sokka, you saw him die!
It can't be him!
It can't!
But then, impossibly, amongst the words exchanged between the two Princes, she saw him mouth the word, "Katara?"
And then she feinted.
And the world around her succumbed to chaos.
"Katara!" Sokka cried as he shoved aside the soldiers that had been standing next to him, and vaulted over the steps, desperately trying to reach his sister.
Zuko sank to the ground, his breath stuck in his throat as he gathered her up in his arms. "Katara," He said, his voice frantic, pushing her hair back and gently shaking her.
It was then that Sokka had managed to succeed in getting to the Prince and his consort, and reached out to touch his sister.
"Leave her alone!" Zuko snarled, angrily kicking Sokka in the shins from his position on the floor.
Sokka grunted as he was knocked to the ground, but he quickly scrambled up to his feet.
"GUARDS!" Zuko roared.
Jet, who had been stunned by the events sprang into action. "Hey, you can't take—"
"RESTRAIN HIM!"
The soldiers standing around the Prince grabbed Sokka, and twisted his hands behind his back. "NO!" Sokka sobbed, his voice frantic. "You don't understand! SHE'S MY SISTER, GODDAMNIT!"
Sokka twisted against the men that restrained him, sobbing angrily. "SHE'S MY SISTER!" He cried again, and again, but in the chaos that had taken place after Katara's feinting, the one person that mattered had eyes only for the unconscious girl in his arms. Sokka, loath that no one had understood why he needed to be released, why he needed to touch his sister to ensure her reality, why he needed to protect her from the man he only knew as the Betrayed Prince, angrily sank against the guards and wept bitterly. "She's my sister…" he repeated, his sobs making sense to only those who restrained him. "She's my sister…."
Zuko, who had been desperately tried to wake Katara, was suddenly met with a wave of relief as she stirred and blinked her eyes open. "Are you all right?" he demanded.
Confused, and still reeling from her sudden realization, Katara took in her surroundings and saw her dear brother being restrained like an animal by Zuko's men. Suddenly, she twisted viciously in his arms.
"Katara?" Zuko asked, startled by her abrupt movement.
She pushed him out the way, stood up so fast she stumbled, and screamed, "Sokka!"
Hearing her cry, Sokka looked up, and begun to struggle against the guards in earnest.
"Zuko, tell them to move!" She screeched, tryingly to angrily shove away the men who were hurting her brother.
A bewildered look on his face, Zuko called of the guards with a wave of his arm.
It was then that brother and sister embraced, and collapsing upon one another, then sank to a heap in the floor.
"Sokka," Katara sobbed, squeezing him tightly. "Sokka."
The two stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity, Katara loudly weeping, and Sokka gently stroking her hair. Each seemed afraid to move, afraid to leave the others arms, thinking for some reason that if they lost contact with another the beautiful dream that they had shared would be shattered.
The hall was deadly quiet. Jet edged towards Zuko, who still sat on his position on the floor, and muttered out the side of his mouth, "What the hell is going on?"
For the first time, Zuko began to process the situation. He saw the two heads bent together, and saw the striking similarities the the rich mahogany color of their hair. He saw the similarities in the same slight build, the same lithe frame, and when he saw the man look up to the sky and mutter a thank you as his eyes shone with tears, realization dawned upon Zuko. He had stared into those same azure eyes, he had drowned in their swirling depths, and he had watch them shift and change with each passing emotion.
"That's her brother," he said, astonished. "That's her brother that she had watched die almost three months ago!"
"Well, I'll be," Jet drawled, chuckling as he turned back towards the scene.
The reception hall was deathly quiet as everyone watched the heart-wrenching reunion between sister and brother.
"You're alive…." Katara whispered. "You're alive, you're alive, you're alive…" And her words became a litany against Sokka's chest. She leaned back and grabbed his face in her hands, desperately seeking the cobalt eyes of her childhood.
They were her mother's eyes.
Her eyes searched his face, her hands scoured his body, and she rapidly checked and rechecked to make sure there no open wounds, that his body was not leaking blood, and that his flesh was whole.
This was not the Sokka of her nightmares.
This was the Sokka was alive.
"Dear Gods, please don't let this be a dream…" She whispered. "Please don't tell me that I'm dreaming…"
"I'm here," Sokka answered, smiling through his tears. "I'm here, 'Tara…"
He threw his arms around her again, and leaned back to get a good look at her. He took in the circlet atop her head, her gauzy dress, the bangles at her wrists and ankles, and suddenly made same nasty conclusions.
"'Tara," he said, frowning and looking at her in admonishment. "What the hell have they done to you?"
"Well," Katara looked downwards, avoiding her brother's gaze.
"Did they make you a member of that prat's harem?" He asked, his voice low and dripping with spite.
"Well, yes, but—"
Her answer was all the reasoning Sokka needed. He jumped up, and pointed directly at Zuko. "Hey! YOU!" He roared. "What the HELL have you done to my baby sister?" He suddenly launched himself at Zuko, but the guards surrounding the Prince easily held him off.
"Sokka, stop it!" Katara cried, scrambling to her feet and hanging off her brother's arm. "Calm down!"
"Calm down?" Sokka yelled. "How can I be calm when I know that that prick turned you into a harem whore?"
There were audible gasps that echoed through the hall. Katara's hand flew to her mouth, and she spun around to look at Zuko. His eyes were empty; his mouth unsmiling. She ran towards him, gripping his arm. "Please don't hurt him," she begged. "He's my brother, he doesn't know any better, he's just trying to protect me!"
Zuko looked down at Katara, and quietly disengaged her hands from his body. He started to walk towards Sokka.
"Zuko, please," Katara implored, her voice frantic.
He stopped in front of her disgruntled brother, who was shooting him a look that would have cut steel.
"I will forgive your brash derogatory statements toward not only me but my consort as well if you apologize," he said, his voice quiet.
Sokka's eyes narrowed. "Oh yeah?" He responded, his voice dripping acid. "And why would I do that, pretty boy?"
Zuko glanced back at Katara, and held out his hand. She rushed towards his side and quickly laced his fingers deeply through hers.
"Sokka," Katara began. "Zuko is my…" her voice faltered. She looked up at Zuko, who had quizzically arched a brow. Gathering her courage, Katara turned to look her brother in the eye, and then said the words that shattered any older brother's world.
"Zuko is my lover."
She didn't so much hear but felt the sudden stiffening of Zuko's body, and the sharp intake of his breath. She met his eyes, which seemed to ask, Are you sure? You can tell him the truth. He doesn't need to assume along with the rest of the city. She reassured him with a nod, and whispered, "If he doesn't hear it from me, it will be worse when it comes from others."
Zuko smiled, and turned back to address Sokka.
And Sokka took it upon himself to spit in Zuko's face.
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Mina34: Well, dear readers… I have no excuse. But! I promised I would finish the story, and here I am!
Ta da?
Thank you all so SO much for never giving up on this story! I realized you might have moved on to bigger and better things, but if you see a little story alert from me, I do so hope that you took it upon yourself to finish this chapter.
And if you're confused about how Sokka is alive, don't worry! That part of the plot will advance nicely in the next chapter. In fact, many aspects of the plot will advance nicely. This chapter was all about me feeling around the characters and steeping myself in the story once more.
And rest assured! You will know what happens in the next chapter, for I have set a goal for myself to finish this story by the end of summer. And so I shall! If not, I will post an outline sometime in August of how the story will unfold. But, where's the fun in that? So I'm going to do my damndest to keep updating steadily.
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Badonyx: Whoops…. Sorry about that! That's what happens when my slightly dyslexic self writes AND edits the story!
EVERYONE ELSE….
Thank you.
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Thank you.
Your reviews inspire me to write, and I hope to hear more from you in the weeks to come!
Ta!
-Mina34