Title: Field Notes of Project Head Lupoya
Rating: SFW
Wordcount: 524
Summary: A Lunarian task force makes an ill-fated effort to blend in among the people of the Blue Planet.
Note: Written for fireeye for Sev's Claim-a-Thon, for prompt "The Lunarians tried to integrate themselves into Earth and failed miserably. Let us have a story set during that epic bought of 'it seemed like a good idea at the time'. (Long-lived/immortal unless killed Lunarians a happy bonus.)"
16 Sol, 5783
People of the Blue Planet living in relative isolation determined more likely to accept imperfect assimilation, as are subject to fewer social pressures. Once successfully integrated with remote units, integration may progress to areas of greater population density.
Kluya disagrees. Left without authorization for densely populated region. Radio contact maintained. Data from failure should prove interesting, at least.
Ramayu gathering appropriate local materials to build shelter near human habitation at 42°23'12"S, 38°50'21"E. Expect to make introductions to human resident after dawn tomorrow.
17 Sol, 5783
Human resident, female, proved resistant to neighbors. "Get off my land" uttered multiple times. Did not explain how concept of ownership applies to land. When pressed for explanation, attacked with crude projectile weapon. Ramayu now tasked with studying projectiles after removing them from body.
Remarkable velocity achieved by projectiles despite primitive means of propulsion. Human strength impressive, somewhat alarming.
Camp relocated amid dense vegetation, where human unlikely to notice. Second human, much smaller, spotted in area. Sex ambiguous. Deference and leisure time afforded it suggest its dominance. Will attempt negotiations tomorrow.
Kluya reports sleeping under stone infrastructure, inexplicably being given small pieces of human currency. No mention of projectiles.
18 Sol 5783
Small human produced distress cries upon approach, as well as even cruder device for propelling small stones. Velocity also remarkable. Camp relocated to denser vegetation.
Ramayu expressing desire to abandon integration mission and return to ship. Am questioning her commitment to science.
Kluya reports brief, unarmed combat with human over "squatting rights." Also that gifts of currency increase when he performs minor feats of magic, in appalling defiance of assimilation initiative. Personal objection to Kluya's involvement registered on multiple occasions prior to mission (see attachment).
ADDENDUM: Denser vegetation contains hostile fauna, flora. Ramayu has deserted.
21 Sol 5783
Hostile fauna necessitated use of magic for self-preservation, a justified exemption from the assimilation initiative's rules. Minor damage done to (non-hostile) vegetation. Extensive damage done to rations, human integration garments.
Magic attracted smaller human. Told it that it had witnessed perfectly natural phenomenon and offered to establish trade between our settlements, as am now low on rations. Bruises left by stones surprisingly magic-intensive to cure. Must reconsider diplomatic tactics.
Kluya has advised cutting off beard. Claims that he has become beloved member of local community without his. Fear Kluya has gone mad.
22 Sol 5783
Red berries unfit for consumption.
24 Sol 5783
Arranged visually attractive gift of used projectiles and red berries for female human, with note in local language formally proposing trade alliance. Hid to observe her discovery.
Did not hide sufficiently. Regret supplying her with projectiles.
25 Sol 5783
Rations depleted.
Skeptical of Kluya's claims, but have recalibrated diplomatic approach on selected pieces of his advice. Have sacrificed beard, modified surviving integration garments, memorized socially appropriate phrases. Have declined to claim foreignness, feign lack of fluency in local language, engage in excessive physical contact, impress humans with inappropriate uses of magic.
Cautiously optimistic.
ADDENDUM: Humans insufficiently evolved, unfit for integration. Camp relocated. Distress beacon activated. Kluya delusional, welcome to stay with these creatures if he likes them so much.