Part 1, Chapter 14, Maiden:
She still shuddered. Liara closed the shower faucet and helped Kelly haul Victoria off the tile floor. "That water was ice cold, we need to get her dried off," Liara heard herself say. Her thoughts raced, beloved, what's wrong? She felt detached.
Liara watched herself and Kelly peel the soaked athletic clothing off her fiancé. She watched Kelly's eyes linger briefly over Victoria's breasts, track down, and then back up. A brief pang of jealousy crossed her mind. Then she looked for herself. Goddess, the scars. Why haven't I ever seen them this clearly?
She'd seen Victoria naked, what, hundreds of times? She'd seen her scars on every occasion. Victoria never made an effort to hide them, except the facial scars she had fixed. Yet, she was horrified. A faint spider web of fine white lines traced an interlocking pattern down Shepard's right flank, rebuilt muscle and artificial intestine. A wide pale circle in the hollow of her left hip, artificial hip and bone marrow implant. A network of scars running between the left knee and ankle, tibia replacement. A thin white line above the pubis, hysterectomy. A constellation of small circular scars running the length of her spine, prosthetic spinal disks and replacement vertebrae.
Even with the scars Liara loved this body, reveled in this body. But, she's so damaged. She watched Kelly strip the linens from their bed and wrap them around Shepard. The Normandy's former yeoman was all business now, no more free peeks. She hugged her former commander and whispered something Liara couldn't quite make out. Shepard's shuddering slowed.
Soon she was still. Liara dug through Shepard's dresser and came back with casual clothes, an N7 t-shirt and some jeans. With Kelly's help she dressed a near catatonic Victoria Shepard. They sat her down on the end of the bed and held her, as if the most basic of physical contact would heal her scars; figurative and literal.
It seemed that hours passed. Finally, Shepard spoke, "I don't deserve this." Her tone was flat, her face emotionless, her normally vibrant green eyes seemed dead in their sockets. She stared straight ahead.
Liara looked at her. Goddess help me. She was well and truly lost, a ship without a rudder, the humans would say. I don't know what to do. How… I just don't know what to do. Liara's head swam. All of her hopes and dreams teetered over a precipice. Liara loved Shepard. She wanted to spend her life with her, at least the rest of Shepard's life anyway. She wanted children. She wanted to raise them with Victoria. She wanted Victoria to live happily with her. What if we can't? Liara squeezed her eyes shut, tears seeped out regardless. I love you so much! I want you to be happy!
A hand appeared on her shoulder. Kelly looked her in the eyes, "It will be ok."