Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy.

Ch. 3 Not Perfect

Everyone in the kitchen looked up as I slammed the door behind me. My head was reeling from the events that had just taken place outside.

Lissa shot to her feet in alarm. What happened? she demanded, taking my expression in.

"Lissa, let's go upstairs," I said, aware that everyone in the room was staring at us and probably wondering what the fuck was going on. Like I'd advertise my previous relationship with Dimitri in front of them, since besides Lissa and Christian, only Adrian knew.

We went up to our room, where we could have a little privacy. Privacy was hard when you had Moroi with supersensitive hearing. After Lissa sat down on one of the beds, I spilled everything that had happened when I was on patrol. "He's trying to act like he still has feelings for me! Why does he think that I still have feelings for him?"

Lissa let out a low whistle. "Wow…Oh, yeah. There's something I have to tell you."

I narrowed my eyes at her. I could feel unease radiating off her and through the bond. "Spill, Liss."

"When you went out to patrol…he came up to me and asked to speak to me privately. He asked me how you were doing. I sort of let him have it, but he asked me to hear him out. Of course, I didn't bother listening."

I smiled wanly at her. "Just call him Dimitri, there's no getting around it while we're here."

Then Lissa's words fully sank in, and I stared at her in shock, and sank onto the bed next to her. "WHAT? He asked how I was doing? He has got to be fucking kidding me."

Lissa sighed. "I don't even know what he's thinking…"

I stared at her. Now I really wanted to know something, but I couldn't dare ask. It would make everyone think I still cared about him when I didn't give a fuck. I didn't care about him at all. Not even a little bit.

I heard footsteps outside our room and someone knocked. I flung open the door, and Adrian's guardian Dash stood there. He was about a year older than Adrian. The rest of us hardly knew him, but he seemed to have a cheery light personality. "Hello, Dash."

"Guardian Hathaway, Tasha wants to go out tonight for dinner," he said with a sigh. His words were laced with an English accent. From what we'd heard, he was from London and had attended school there. "It's a special Moroi restaurant that'll also have feeders for them."

"That should reduce our workload a little," I murmured. "Just call me Rose, Harry Potter." I gave him a very cheeky grin at the end.

Dash narrowed his eyes at me playfully and thickened his accent a little as he spoke. "Very funny. I'm from England, and now you go around calling me Harry Potter."

I laughed. "Too bad, Prince William."

"Tasha wants to leave around 7 or so," Dash added, ignoring my second snarky comment. I couldn't help it, I was snarky around practically everyone.

I checked my phone. 2:15. "Okay, tell Eddie and Liam then. We'll still keep a good lookout even though it should be safer."

Dash nodded and left me with Lissa.

Dimitri POV

I stared in shock at the door. Rose had just slammed the door behind her after yelling at me for two-timing Tasha. I didn't like Tasha romantically. It was true she still liked me, but she cared enough about me not to push me into having a relationship with her.

I never told anyone that I wasn't truly involved with Tasha. I just liked her as a friend, and although I'd told people that I'd accepted Tasha's offer…I would never have kids with her.

Not when I still loved Roza.

She looked so beautiful and gorgeous when I saw her again…It had been so long since I'd laid eyes on her. But of course, she completely hated me now. I couldn't exactly blame her, after what I'd said to her. She'd cried as she walked away from me the last day I'd seen her.

I thought she still loved me.

I think she still does, I thought as I re-entered the house and shut the door behind me. That look in her eyes when she first saw me. How could she deny the love we once shared?

And I have to make things right with her. I have to make her believe me. I really don't love Tasha. I only love her.

I tapped Tasha's shoulder, and she looked up at me with her blue eyes. "Yes, Dimka?"

"I need to talk to you," I whispered, aware that Adrian was looking over in our direction. His mouth curled up in disdain when he saw me.

"Yes, of course," Tasha said, quickly putting down her glass of soda and hurrying into the bathroom with me.

"What's wrong?" she quickly asked once we were alone.

"I just realized…I still love Roza," I whispered, letting my emotions show on my face. "I thought I'd gotten over her when I chose to-"

Tasha interrupted me with a sigh. "Dimka, Dimka. Did you really think that you could hide your emotions from me? I knew that you were still in love with Rose the moment you came down and saw her. And I knew that you hadn't recovered still."

"I was doing a good job of faking it," I said bitterly, looking away from Tasha and towards the large glass windows.

"No. I've never seen you like this before. I still don't understand. Why would you choose to go with me, and act like you don't love Rose when it's clear you still love her?" she asked, confusion clear in her voice and eyes.

It was what was best for us, I answered in my head.

Aloud I said, "It's…a long story." She'd asked me this before, but I always never bothered to respond. And in truth, it was a long story.

She shook her head. "Now what do you plan to do?"

"I'll get Rose back, even if I have to die," I whispered. I was willing to do anything necessary to get my Roza back with me. But I knew it wouldn't be easy, considering how cold she'd been to me earlier.

Tasha arched an eyebrow at me in doubt. "And just how are you planning to pull that off? She believes that we're together getting it on, and planning to pop out more babies."

Her word choice was crude, but probably true. "I'll tell her the truth-"

"Please, like she'd even listen to you? You need to consider your moves very carefully while trying to win her back."

"I need to get time to talk to her before we go out," I murmured.

Tasha sighed and headed towards the door. "I can arrange that. I'll just ask everyone except you to tour the gardens around the house."

Rose POV

The hours dragged by in the afternoon. Tasha living somewhere with so much sunshine was definitely helpful, don't get me wrong. But it was kind of boring, since we only checked outside hourly. And my early Strigoi alert system – an effect of me being shadow kissed – definitely helped us out more.

I was lounging on one of the couches, flipping through the channels, when Tasha suddenly stood up. "I want to give everyone a tour of my gardens," she announced.

"Boring," I muttered, and flipped through more channels on the TV.

"I want to see!" Lissa said in excitement. "Maybe I could try to grow something with spirit."

Adrian yawned. "I might as well come, so I can have Lissa teach me how to grow things."

Christian looked like he was going to die, but Lissa looked so eager to go. "Fine, I'm only going because Liss is," he grumbled. Lissa leaned over and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"Dash, Liam, and Eddie should be enough to protect us," Tasha added.

Dimitri looked up in surprise from across the room, where he'd been reading a Western novel. "You don't need me to come with you, Tasha?"

"Please, it's still daylight," she said lightly to him, putting a hand on his arm. Although I was getting over Dimitri, it still made me angry to see them touch. I don't care, I don't care, I chanted to myself over and over. I couldn't help it. He'd chosen her over me, but I still got mad when I saw them touch. Ugh!

"Besides, you know I can defend myself," she added.

Dimitri nodded, seeming resigned. "Very well, but be careful."

Uh oh. I was not staying with Dimitri, even if I hated to see flowers.

"Uh, Liss, maybe I should come with you," I said quickly, uncrossing my legs from the couch and standing up.

Liam raised his eyebrows at me. "Are you saying I'm not good enough to protect Vasilisa?"

"No, it's not that! I think it'd be better if you had four guardians instead of three," I said, making up an excuse on the fly. Anything would be better than staying in here with Dimitri.

"I thought you thought seeing flowers was boring," Lissa commented, tilting her head to the side and looking at me in confusion.

I shot her a look that would've frozen glass. She widened her eyes in apology. I'm sorry! I forgot he was here!

"Just stay here," Tasha said gently. "We'll be back in about fifteen minutes or less." With that, the whole group headed out the door, chattering happily.

And now I was completely alone with Dimitri. Great.

I did my best to ignore him, but it was hard not to feel his presence in the room. I acted as blasé as possible, and got up to get a drink from the kitchen.

I passed his chair, and he put his hand against my arm.

I froze like I had earlier, and turned around to glare at him. His eyes were gentle as I glared at him. "Will you kindly stop touching me before I get someone to beat you up?"

"I'm sorry, Roza," Dimitri apologized.

I now whirled around so we weren't touching, keeping my back to him. "Just because I'm here alone doesn't mean I'm thrilled to be with you."

"I know," Dimitri said, his voice pained. "But…when I first saw you…I thought you still might have feelings for me."

"Well, you thought wrong. I don't have any feelings for you. You sure as hell don't have feelings for me, considering you left me more than a year ago," I said bitterly. Why was I standing here arguing with him instead of ignoring him like he was furniture?

There was a pause, and then he asked very quietly, "Do you like Liam?"

I was pissed now. If I liked anyone or not was none of his fucking business. "You can stop pretending you care if I'm okay, you know. I got the message clearly that you don't love me."

"Do you like him?" he pressed. "After I saw him kiss your cheek…"

Did Dimitri have a fucking death wish or something? I whipped around and snapped, "That is none of your fucking business! You made it clear you didn't want to be with me when you left."

I was about to storm off towards the kitchen when he took my hand. The feeling of his hand on mine…it felt the same as when we were still together, and when I would've never doubted his love for me.

"But Roza…"

I tried to get my hand out of his, but he was too strong. "You're with Tasha now! And why haven't you popped out babies yet?"

I'd chosen those words to hurt him, and he dropped my hands and scowled at me. It secretly thrilled me, to have him display his emotions so openly on his face when he usually kept a poker face. "I don't plan on having kids with Tasha! No matter, what you think, my life is not perfect."

"You're clearly having a perfect life, while I'm having a life that isn't perfect," I shot back. I instantly regretted my words but too late. "You got an offer to guard a friend of yours. And while you're guarding this friend, you can also get it on and make more dhampir babies."

"I already told you, I'm not having kids with Tasha," he hissed.

Hearing him tell me that he didn't plan on having kids with Tasha….why did a wave of relief crash over me? Why did I care?

"Why not?" I snarled. "If you love her-"

"I don't love Tasha!"

I froze, and stared at him. "What?"

"I just told you. I don't love Tasha. I only love you, Roza."

"You're lying," I said, in complete disbelief. There was no way he could still love me, even though at the same time, deep down inside of me, I wished it was true.

"I only love you, and I want you back," Dimitri said, a hint of pleading and lots of determination in his voice. He reached out and put his arms around my waist, drawing me against him.

I was shocked by his declaration. And there was a part of me that wanted to respond to his words, and to how he was holding me so close to him. But no, I couldn't. He was with Tasha, and I didn't care about him, I reiterated in my head. It was so hard to think right though, with him being so close that I could inhale that familiar scent of his…

"Well, that's too fucking bad, because I don't want you," I said fiercely.

Dimitri turned me so that he could see my face, and I could see he was arching an eyebrow at me.

He pulled me even closer and whispered, "Are you sure you don't want me?"

Before I knew what he was doing, he leaned down to me and kissed me passionately.

My mouth responded to him, and I kissed him back. I could feel his tongue playing against my mouth, and I opened my mouth so that our tongues touched. I let out a whimper as he kissed me a little harder. He loosened one hand from around my waist so he could reach up and stroke the back of my neck.

The part of my brain that knew what was right was screaming at me to stop. Stop kissing Dimitri! I didn't want to listen, but I now struggled against Dimitri.

He wasn't going to let me go as he held me tighter and kept kissing me. My lips felt tingly from his kiss.

I now raised my hand and slapped him across the face….particularly across his mouth

"Roza!" he gasped, letting go of me and touching his hand to his mouth.

"Don't ever fucking touch me again!" I yelled at him as I ran up the stairs and slammed the door. It's the second time today I've had to slam a door after talking to him.