Hey you guys! Sorry this update took kind of long... I had a little bit of writer's block and a bunch of school stuff to do... but hopefully you guys will like this chapter! I'm really happy with the way it turned out, especially how I ended it. It created a little bit of suspense haha :D... So I don't really have anything else to say, other than again sorry this was a long update, and that Chapter 4 will be up as soon as I write it! And also I am trying to make my chapters longer... I feel like they're kind of short. And thank you for reading! and THANKS SO MUCH FOR EVERYONE THAT REVIEWED! Those reviews really mean a lot to me... if I get an e-mail that somebody reviewed my story its like the highlight of my day hahah... so anyways I'll shut up and let you read now :) and one last thing. DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW! R&R! :D So, ya. Enjoy! Hope you like my story! Thanks so much for reading!

Chapter 3:
~Conflicting Emotions~

Scarlett slept little that night. In fact, half the city was lying awake, terrified that the Yankees would burst in at any minute.

The news had spread rapidly all over Atlanta. It didn't take long, for most of the men had gone on the raid, and they were all saved by Rhett. Irony, they called it. One of the town's most hated men had saved the lives of some of the town's most honorable men. Rhett Butler, of all people.

Nobody wanted to owe their lives to a renegade. But, whether they liked it or not, Rhett Butler saved their men. Captain Butler lied to the Yankees, and even risked his own life in the process. Why, they asked? He wasn't accepted by the Old Guard and he knew it. He wasn't, or at least didn't act like he was fond of any of the men he saved. So why save them? What did Rhett owe them? Why would he put his own life on the line to save people who couldn't care less if he was hanged? The citizens of Atlanta could only think of one answer. Scarlett.

Everyone had known about their "coincidental" meetings when Scarlett was visiting her mills while she was pregnant. Why, Rhett didn't leave town until she was forced to stay in the house by Frank and Aunt Pitty! There was always something going on between those two. Ever since Rhett bid for the widow Hamilton at the bazaar, the moment she boldly accepted, they had been one of the town's most scandalous sources of gossip. Neither of them seemed to care, though. In fact, Scarlett getting attacked just gave the Old Guard another thing to talk about! Then, Rhett saving all the men, with the exception of Tommy Welburn and Ashley Wilkes didn't seem like the result of Rhett not getting to Shantytown in time…

Some people thought that Rhett purposely let Ashley die. Others thought that Rhett personally shot Ashley in the head. One way or another, there were a few people who thought that Rhett had a part in Ashley's death. Everyone knew that Scarlett was a little too fond of Ashley, and that Rhett was a little too fond of Scarlett. Rhett needed to satisfy his 'lust' for Scarlett, and the citizens of Atlanta thought that made sure that Ashley was out of the way. But if Rhett wanted Scarlett all to himself, why didn't he get rid of Frank also? He was her husband, after all. Rumor had it that Rhett though Frank's wound would kill him. Although the people knew that Frank hadn't died in the raid, they had no idea what his current condition was. Not even Scarlett knew.

Scarlett lay awake in bed, unable to sleep for two reasons. The first reason was that her mind was unable to comprehend the many thoughts that she had been thinking. The second reason was that she was scared that if she fell asleep, she would have the nightmare where she was running through the mist.

She refused to sleep in the same room as Frank for the night. She didn't want to constantly be reminded of what she had done. The only things that her mind was able to get a grasp upon were the memories of Ashley that were locked away inside her heart.

All of those wonderful days that Ashley had been in her life. The day she told him she loved him; when she kissed him goodbye; that day out in the orchard… and even the little memories were coming back. Like when they were taking a walk one evening and Scarlett tripped and sprained her ankle. Ashley carried her all the way home! Or those days when they would daze off into the lazy, yet beautiful, Georgia sky, while he read from one of his poetry books. But she was so young then. Why didn't she tell him that she loved him before?

Well, she didn't know that she loved him until he came back from Europe, when she saw his handsome face again after two long years. His golden hair was gleaming in the afternoon sunlight, his gray eyes were twinkling, and everything about him was just perfect! The amount of love that she held for him that one moment was indescribable.

"Why was I such a fool then?" Scarlett thought to herself. "If I confessed my love for him before, he would have never married Melanie and everything would be different! And if everything were different… he wouldn't be dead right now because of me."

The acceptance of guilt began to fall upon Scarlett. She knew that she had to acknowledge that Ashley was gone. Her sweet, charming Ashley was gone and there was nothing she could do about it.

"But there must be something to do about it!" Scarlett thought. "If Ashley is dead, then his love has died with him." Ashley's love; the only thing, other than Tara, that helped her to endure life. How could she tolerate the rest of her life without the knowledge that he secretly loved her?

Scarlett sometimes liked to think of her and Ashley's relationship as 'forbidden love.' Although they belonged together, both were married to others. Even though they both kept their love a secret from everyone, the love that they shared was pure.

"Our love was so true! And now I have to go on without his heart? How can I do it?" Scarlett thought as she cried quietly to herself.

"Well," she started, "It won't be that different. The closest to alone I've had him since the orchard was when I went to go visit him at the mills! And there's nothing private or romantic about the mills at all."

"The mills!" Scarlett's business-woman-like-mind thought. "Who will run the mills now without Ashley? All the men in town have jobs and… oh, I can't think about that now, I'll think about it tomorrow," She said to herself, summoning up her old charm that she always used in times of confusion and defeat. But the one thing that she couldn't stop thinking about was Ashley. He was stuck to her mind like glue to paper. "How can I stop thinking about him? I loved him with all my heart and now he's gone! Oh I… but I cannot become melancholy and sulk around waiting for him like an old maid for the rest of my life! No matter how much I loved him, I won't let the fact that he is gone lick me. I've gotten this far in life, and I can't let all of my suffering and hard work go to waste. Despite Ashley's death, my life will go about as unchanged as possible," Scarlett promised herself.

But, if she loved him so much, how could he get over his death that quickly? When you are in love, aren't you supposed to love that person with every fiber of your being? You are not supposed to feel complete without them! Then why did Scarlett's heart feel unharmed? Why wasn't there a gaping hole, someone missing in her life? "Is this really how it is supposed to feel when your true love is dead?" Scarlett wondered. "If I do not miss Ashley dreadfully, does that mean that I didn't really love him?" She threw the thought away from her mind as fast as she could, but it refused to move or go away. "Great balls of fire, of course I loved him! I loved everything about him… because everything about him was absolutely perfect. But he is gone now."

Scarlett didn't miss him nearly half as much as she thought she could. But why was that? She did love him, didn't she?

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