Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy.

Ch. 6 Comfort and Love Confessions

By the time I arrived at Tasha's, Lissa had dozed off on Christian's shoulder. I looked at them, feeling sad. He was looking down at her with a look of love and adoration.

"It's time to wake up, Liss," he murmured to her, nudging her gently.

She opened her big jade green eyes and smiled up at him as they got out of the car.

We collected our bags and entered the house but I excused myself to my room and no one came after me. I could hear Tasha moving around in the kitchen, no doubt getting ready to cook our dinner.

I slammed the door behind me and threw myself on the bed, letting myself be caught up in a wave of misery and heartbreak.

I felt incredibly jealous of Lissa. Not that she was dating him, but because she had someone who genuinely loved and cared about her. She was in a steady relationship and she never had to worry about him leaving her for someone else and having her heart broken beyond repair.

I put up a front…but the truth is, I'm not getting better.

I still hurt over him, even though he isn't romantically involved with Tasha and claims that he loves me. It doesn't change the fact that he left me for Tasha, even if he wasn't romantically interested. Besides, for someone who claimed to love me, he wasn't acting like it.

My flirtation with Liam was nothing serious. He liked flirting with me, but he wasn't seriously interested in me as a long-term relationship. That was fine with me, since I was just flirting in the hopes of making a certain someone jealous. And Adrian…he genuinely loved me, but I couldn't make myself return his feelings. I couldn't even like him a little bit. Not when I still hurt over him.

A tear fell down my cheek. I hadn't allowed myself to cry after the day Dimitri left me. The single tear suddenly turned into a flood of tears and I allowed myself to mope and feel the feelings I'd always locked up inside of me.

Why did he have to leave me? After the cabin and the attack, I thought our life would finally be perfect. He'd even told me that he was planning to be reassigned to someone else after graduation so that we would at least have a chance of being together. After we'd made love, everything had been golden and beautiful for a little bit.

And then he ruined my life by leaving me for Tasha.

There was a knock on the door. "Rose…can I come in?"

"Go away!" I shouted, wiping my eyes quickly and sitting up. I wouldn't ever let Dimitri see me cry. Not in a billion years.

There was silence from outside. "Please, Roza…"

"Fine!" I groaned, springing off the bed and storming to the door. "If you'll go away after-"

My voice died in my throat as I stared at what was in his hands. A mug of hot chocolate with whipped cream on top and a plate of chocolate chip cookies. The cookies smelled fresh from the oven.

I stared up at him, feeling stunned. Even after a year and half later, he still remembered what my favorite comfort foods were. "You looked sort of unhappy…so I thought this might help," he said, holding out the mug and plate to me. He then sat down beside me.

I took them, and sipped on the hot chocolate. It tasted absolutely delicious, and I wondered if he had made this himself. Dark chocolate, my favorite as he knew.

"Thanks," I said without looking up at him. I was afraid if I made direct eye contact with him while we were so close – and alone – I would start bawling like a baby.

"No problem," he said quietly. For once, there wasn't anger and tension lingering in the air between us. Why couldn't it be like this every time we were around each other? Calm and peaceful.

"Roza…" he said hesitantly. My heart fluttered a little at his use of my old nickname, and he gently reached out to touch my cheek. I didn't push him away, but closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of his touch against my skin before he pulled away. "When you first arrived, I asked Vasilisa if you were alright…"

I kept sipping my hot chocolate. "I'm fine." I kept my tone light and neutral, but I doubted I was fooling Dimitri. There was look of regret and misery in his eyes.

"Oh…"

A few moments passed and I finished off the food he'd given me. "Thanks," I said without looking at him as he took the cup and plate.

"It's not a big deal," he said a bit flatly, shrugging. "I'm going to go now."

"Bye," I said softly as I lifted my head and watched him go.

As the door shut behind him, part of me whispered, I still care about you. Can't you see that?

Dimitri POV

As I went back downstairs, I couldn't help but think of my Roza. She looked so sad and upset when I found her upstairs, even though she claimed she was fine. She always pretended to be fine and happy when in reality she wasn't fine.

She probably hates me now, I thought bitterly as I entered the kitchen. I went outside for a walk, breathing in the night air and patrolling at the same time.

Why did I have to lie to her when I left her? Would things between us be less tense if I'd only told her the truth? I paced around the backyard in agitation, hating myself for what I did.

I didn't leave her because of Tasha. I left her so she wouldn't focus on me so much. I was becoming a distraction to her. I remember during the Strigoi attack on the school, when she saw me, she would get worried about my safety. In return, I would worry about her. And her distracting me was an understatement. I was constantly putting Rose at risk this way if she worried about me. She wouldn't be able to concentrate on protecting herself and killing Strigoi if she worried about me.

And to say she was distracting me was an understatement. I thought of her every day, every minute, and every second. If a Strigoi had attacked Vasilisa, I wouldn't have thrown myself between them and her to save her. I would've thrown myself in front of Roza to protect her, and even die for her if it was necessary.

And that went against everything we'd been taught in elementary school. They come first. We have to give up everything, even our life, for the Moroi. We're not allowed to be selfish and think only of ourselves.

I'm sure if the rest of the guardians had known why I'd really left, they would've applauded my actions. They would've said I shouldn't be in love with a student and the best thing to do would be to switch assignments which was what I did.

I never stopped loving Roza. I thought about her every day after I left her, and wondered how she was doing. I still love her very much, and although she doesn't love me, I will do anything to make her fall for me again.

An unexpected complication is that Liam! Were they really going out with each other? Or was Rose just flirting with him because of her charms and beauty? Or was it…because she was trying to get a rise out of me?

My thoughts were broken into when Vasilisa appeared at the door. "Dimitri, may I speak with you?"

"Yes, of course, Princess," I said formally, surprised she had dropped my title.

We sat down on one of the stone benches in the garden. It was quiet for a moment, and I noticed Vasilisa looking down at her shoes very studiously and she seemed a little nervous. "What did you want to speak to me about, Princess?"

"I…well….You still truly love Rose, right?" she began.

"I would do anything to gain back her love," I whispered. "Anything. I would die for her, even if she doesn't love me anymore."

Lissa hesitated, and closed her eyes for a moment. I watched her curiously.

"It's to keep her out of my head," she explained, and I nodded in understanding. "I'm sure Rose would be pissed and deny it if she knew I was telling you this…but she still loves you."

"She sure has a way of showing it," I muttered. If she really still loved me, she wouldn't act like this.

"I know. She refuses to tell me that she loves you, or at least that she cares about you. When I look at her when she's around you….her aura is as bright as the sun. Yours, too."

"What does that have anything to do with me?"

"Auras don't lie. I talked to Adrian about this-"

"Adrian? He hates me for what I did! And to be honest, I can't blame him," I said bitterly.

"Yes, but he does want Rose to be happy! As I was saying, when two people are deeply in love with each other, their auras will reflect it. What people say can be lies, but no one can change their aura or lie with it. Both of your auras reflect you still love each other. Rose's aura also reflects…sadness. And heartbreak."

"Why won't she tell me if she still loves me?" I asked, looking down. "I already told her I love her!"

"She's still hurting. You need to give her time," Vasilisa said, and sighed. "I guess I'm basically telling you this because I want you guys to be together again. I didn't believe you when you first came to me, but now I do."

"So…are you saying you'll help us?" I asked, my spirits lifting a little.

"Yes, but I can't force her to do anything," she warned me. "And you can't force anything on her either, or I take back my support of you guys getting together."

"Thank you, Princess," I whispered.

Vasilisa nodded and stood up gracefully. "I'll do my best, but no guarantees. Let's go back inside."

Rose POV

After dinner, everyone wanted to go to a bar. Except for me, Eddie, and Dimitri apparently.

"Are you fucking serious?" I groaned, getting up and flopping down on one of the couches in the living room. "I don't have the energy to go to one!"

Lissa pouted and downed her water. "But I want to have some alcohol."

"That's a terrible idea," Eddie protested. "You're all going to be hung over and trash-"

"I have some right now," Tasha said, bringing out five bottles of alcohol from a hidden cabinet and putting them on the counter. Uh oh.

Adrian immediately poured himself a glass of what appeared to be Russian vodka and downed it in a gulp.

"You didn't even wait for us to make a toast," Dash complained as he also poured himself a glass of Russian vodka.

"Too late," Adrian said cheerily as he reached for the bottle of champagne.

"I hope you're ready to have your house trashed," Eddie muttered to Tasha.

"Well…it's safer than going out to the Butterfly Hour right now," she said, shrugging but looking a little uncomfortable.

Three and half hours later, everyone except for me, Eddie, and Dimitri were drunk. Even Tasha was a bit tipsy and kept giggling about how everything was pink.

"This is why you never let anyone here have alcohol," Eddie said, surveying the drunk group.

Lissa was kissing Christian very drunkenly and trying to take off his shirt but he was too busy kissing her back to cooperate – thank God. I had to carefully shield her out of my head because alcohol caused a buzz through the bond, and I didn't want to be in her head while she was drunk. Adrian was trying to sing "Friday" by Rebecca Black (UGH, couldn't he have picked another song?). Dash was sleeping with drool coming out of his mouth. Liam had taken off his shirt and was dancing around the living room. I couldn't help but stare a little at him. He was pretty ripped, with that bronze skin and abs…

"We need to put everyone to bed," Dimitri said, "in comfortable places."

It was left to me, Eddie, and Dimitri to move everyone. We moved Adrian back to his room, and put Liam and Dash in what was usually Christian's and Eddie's room. Lissa and Christian were put in my room, and Tasha was put back in her own room.

"Rose, do you want to have the air mattress?" Eddie offered.

"Nah, it's alright, you take it," I said. 'The couches are pretty comfy."

"Okay, good night." He went into Adrian's room and shut the door behind him, leaving me alone with Dimitri.

"This should be interesting," Dimitri murmured softly into my ear.

I glared at him and smacked his arm. "Don't think you can make moves on me, Communist Guy."

"Wow. Taking Adrian's nickname for me, huh?" he asked sarcastically. "How original."

"Shut up….Borscht Guy," I said. Ugh, I couldn't use Comrade, which was a damn shame. It had been one of my better nicknames.

Dimitri arched an eyebrow at me. "Borscht? Talk about really unoriginal now."

"Okay, Joseph Stalin," I retorted although he probably looked way better than that old fascist dictator.

Dimitri actually laughed aloud. He handed me some pillows and blankets. "Too bad these aren't pull out beds."

We turned out the lights and got onto our makeshift beds. I stirred restlessly in mine, unable to sleep. Mainly because for the first time in a long time, I was sleeping close to Dimitri.

I heard him turn over restlessly too and then I heard the creak of the couch springs. I caught a slight hint of his aftershave, and it smelled so good. "Rose, are you awake?"

"What? I'm trying to get some sleep here, fascist," I grumbled, sitting up so I could see him. The moon shone through the curtains, and I could make out his profile.

He didn't acknowledge my insult. "I know you don't believe me…but I really do still love you, Roza. My feelings for you have never changed."

Sadness and heartbreak washed over me. "But if it never changed, why did you leave me?" I whispered softly.

Dimitri turned his head away, and when he spoke, it was with a sad, heavy voice. "It's a long story. But I promise you, it doesn't involve Tasha."

I heard him move closer so he was sitting right next to me. I breathed in his scent, and savored how close he was to me before turning around to meet his gaze. He tentatively reached out and wound a lock of my hair around his finger.

"Your hair is still so beautiful," he whispered. He hesitantly held his hand out to me, and I took it. I felt so warm and wonderful all over just at his touch.

"I didn't know it was still possible to feel like this," I murmured, half to myself.

"How?" Dimitri asked.

"To feel so warm and wonderful…like I'm completed, just by your touch," I admitted. I had a feeling I would regret this tomorrow but I didn't care at the moment.

Dimitri let go of my hair and tilted up my head, and our eyes met. "And your eyes…I feel like I could swim forever in them," he whispered.

I felt like that whenever I looked into his eyes too.

"And I feel complete whenever I'm with you, Roza," he murmured softly, kissing my forehead.

"If you did…then why did you have to leave me?" I asked, my voice breaking on my last words.

"It's a long story, but it doesn't involve Tasha. Please don't cry," he whispered, reaching out as a tear fell down my cheek. He wiped the tear away and kissed my cheek.

"How can I not cry?" I asked sadly. "When you left me…I was a wreck. I never showed it to anyone, not even Lissa, but I was broken. I wasn't sure how I would be able to function once you left."

"And now?" he asked.

"I feel like…it never happened. It's like you never left me."

"I'll do anything to get you back with me. Anything," he whispered, hugging me close against him. It felt so good to be wrapped in his arms, and I felt so safe and protected while I was close to him.

"Dimitri…"

"Please don't think about the past," he begged. "I messed up, but I'm asking you to come back to me."

"I can't," I whispered, shaking my head. "I can't do it, Dimitri."

"Why?" he asked, and the sorrow in his voice was enough to break my own heart. "If you return my feelings…"

"I can't just go back to you," I whispered.

"I love you, Roza," he whispered, pulling back so he could look at me. "Now and always, I will always love you. It's never been anyone else."

I couldn't respond. I knew I loved him, and I always would for the rest of my life. He was my soulmate, my one true love, the one who was perfectly in synch with me. We were so perfectly connected sometimes I didn't know where I ended and he began. I would go to the ends of the earth for him if he asked me to.

My mind was screaming at me to say I loved him back, but I forced it down. His confession had just made things more complicated for us. I couldn't just accept him, even though I was still single. I couldn't just let Dimitri back into my life. If he couldn't tell me why he'd left me…what did this mean for our future?

I probably shouldn't have done this, but I looked up at Dimitri and met his eyes. He was as patient as always "I love you too," I whispered.

"That's what I wanted to hear," he whispered, and he kissed me like he'd kissed me before before. It was a hot, passionate kiss, full of the passion, desire, and love we couldn't hold back. His tongue moved against my mouth and I opened my mouth and kissed him back. He let his free hand go up to the back of my tank top while he kept his free hand firmly around my waist.

I didn't resist him like I had last time. I pulled him closer to me, and I could feel him getting hard in a certain area as we kissed. We kept kissing and kissing, and soon I could feel him pushing me down onto the couch. I felt him tug at my tank top.

"No, Dimitri," I whispered, and he kissed me more gently and playfully now. His kisses were light, like feathers.

After a few minutes, we stopped kissing and just looked at each other. He kissed my cheek one last time before he stood up and moved back to the other couch.

"Good night, my Roza," he whispered to me.

"Good night, Comrade."

I drifted off into the most peaceful sleep I'd had for more than a year.

So now Rose and Dimitri both know about their feelings for each other...but it's still not going to be any easier for them just because they confessed to each other...