Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Academy.

Note: Last chapter for the next 2 weeks!

Ch. 8 Letting Go

I don't know how long I was in the bathroom, wallowing in my heartbreak and crying. It could've been a minute. Maybe an hour. I don't know how much time passed while I was lost in my misery. I didn't want to think of anything else except how miserable I was and how I wanted to curl up in a ball and die.

I heard someone knock on the door. Rose, it's me. Let me in.

I got up and splashed water on my face. I looked at my reflection in the mirror very blearily. God, I looked awful. My eyes were red-rimmed, with tears still streaming down, and my cheeks were pale.

I opened the door to let Lissa in, and she quickly stepped in and locked the door behind her. She looked a lot better now, her cheeks faintly pink and her green eyes bright.

"Rose…what happened when I was drunk upstairs?" she asked. "You've been in here for at least two hours."

"Nothing, really," I said, trying to keep my tone casual. I didn't want to worry her. It was my job to look out for and protect her.

"Dim-I mean, he looks like a mess! He looks terrible. What really happened?" Lissa asked, her voice full of concern.

That did it, and I started sobbing all over again. She patted my back as I told her (in between sobs and sniffling) about how we'd confessed our feelings for each other last night, and how this morning I'd told Dimitri we couldn't be together again and how it would be best if we forgot about each other.

Lissa was silent for several minutes, patting my back as I cried. "Rose…if you still love him so much, why can't you be with him? You can't just forget someone that you loved – especially if that someone is your true love."

"It's not as easy as it sounds," I said, heaving a big breath. "Just because we love each other doesn't mean we can just magically get back together and pretend he never left me. Nothing will change the fact that he left me and broke my heart."

"It's not even worth a try?" Lissa asked.

"No. If I let myself succumb to my feelings again, I'm just giving him an opening to hurt me. I'm done letting Dimitri hurt me. It's time to put the past in the past, where it belongs."

Lissa let go of me and studied my face intently. I reached out through the bond and I was suddenly looking at my own face, which was really weird. It was different from my reflection in the mirror, and I understood I was seeing myself as she saw me. I could feel her concentration and suddenly a shimmer of different colors appeared around me. It must be my aura, but it was ringed in red – a sure sign that I was upset.

"It's going to be awhile before you heal…if you heal at all," Lissa said at last. She shook her head sadly. "I really hate to see this – you and him being in love with each other, but you're unwilling to get back with him."

"Believe me, we're both better off this way," I said. "He has Tasha to comfort him, after all. And I can focus more on being the best guardian, and maybe even flirting with Liam."

"Don't lie to me," Lissa said softly. "You might be lying to yourself, but I know you better than that. I don't need spirit to tell me if you're upset. You don't feel like you'll ever be okay again. But…if this is what you feel is best for you…"

"It is," I said firmly, taking a tissue and blowing my nose loudly.

"Well…if you say so," she said reluctantly. She brushed her fingers across my eyes, and I felt a warm golden feeling course through both of us.

I spun around and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I didn't look like I'd been crying at all.

"Thanks," I said, getting up from the floor and heading towards the door.

"Anytime," she murmured faintly as she followed me out.

The days that passed by afterward were a blur – until Christmas. I ignored Dimitri as much as I could, and if he did speak to me, I made sure to sound like nothing was wrong between us.

I knew everyone else except Lissa had guessed something had occurred between me and Dimitri. He acted very professional towards me, as he had when we were still at St. Vlad's and didn't let on if he was hurt.

When I was straightening my room the night before Christmas, Tasha knocked on my door and asked to come in.

"I just wanted to ask…are you alright?" she asked, her blue eyes regarding me with concern. "I know something happened….but I won't press for details."

Regardless of what Dimitri had told me of his friendship with her, I was still jealous of Tasha. I wondered what would happen now between them. He'd probably get into bed with her, and then soon I'd be the one hearing her sighs and moans from across the hall.

I stood and gave her a cool smile. "I'm fine, thanks for asking."

"Oh…it's just…it's just that he seems really miserable right now…" Tasha said hesitantly after a few moments.

My heart twisted at her words. It proved no matter what I did, I still cared. And now, he was in pain because of me.

I summoned up my best poker face. "Well, that's his problem, not mine. Maybe if he hadn't acted the way he did, he wouldn't be in this situation."

Tasha's blue eyes were round with hurt for him. "If that's how you feel…" She left the room quietly afterwards.

I sighed and slammed down my pillow as hard as I could. That definitely isn't how I feel…

The next morning was Christmas. I got a nice surprise wake-up call.

Lissa yelled into my ear and scared the hell out of me. "Merry Christmas! Hurry up and get up so we can open presents!"

I cracked open an eye and looked at my alarm clock. 8:20 in the morning. "Liss, what did I say about waking up before 9 while we're on vacation?"

"But I want to open presents!" Lissa shouted. "And I want to see what I got from you!"

"Well I want to see what I got, but can't it wait for one more hour?" I protested, covering my face with the pillow.

"No!"

"Fine," I groaned, pulling myself out of my comfortable bed and stretching. I yawned immensely.

"Stop yawning and hurry up!" Lissa said, dragging me down the stairs.

Adrian, Liam, and Dash were the only ones near the tree, and they all looked relatively tired. "W-where's everyone e-else?" I yawned.

"Still sleeping," Liam offered, yawning. "You know, that's really contagious."

"How'd you get up so early? Liss dragged me out of bed."

Liam shrugged. "Couldn't sleep a whole lot last night."

"Waiting for Santa Claus?" I teased.

He winked at me and laughed. "I think we're a little too old for Santa, Hathaway."

"Lancaster, I'm only two years younger than you," I said.

To my surprise, he stepped closer and took my hand in his. I looked at him in shock but made no comment. "That's not much of a difference," he murmured, and sniffed my hair.

"Does it smell bad?"

"It's intoxicating," he murmured back, which kind of warmed me.

Adrian and Dash looked a tad uncomfortable and excused themselves to the kitchen.

Lissa looked very grumpy and sighed. "I'm going to wake everyone else up-"

"Already awake!" Eddie called from down the hall. "I'm going to wake Dimitri and Tasha."

Christian called to Lissa and asked her to come into his (and Eddie's) room. They shut the door behind them, and I heard a giggle from Lissa. Uh oh.

Liam tilted my face up so that he could look me in the eyes. Standing so close to him, I saw that his dark blue eyes had different flecks of blue in them, like a kaleidoscope. He really was quite gorgeous.

"I've waited awhile to be alone with you," he whispered a bit sexily.

I smiled up at him. "Finally got your chance?"

"Yes. And…I just wanted to say…even though I don't think we can have a true romantic future together, I want to spend a little time with you. Not as your boyfriend, if that's not what you want," he said sincerely.

"That doesn't sound like a bad idea," I said, smiling and squeezing his hand. "Let's get to know each other a little better."

"Maybe…as a temporary couple," he suggested. "Then after New Years', we'll just go back to normal friends. We're not going to do anything serious unless you want me to."

"Sounds good to me," I said.

Even though Liam wasn't interested in having a long-term relationship (at least with me), he had all the makings of a great boyfriend: sweet, caring, funny, suave, and brave. And he also made it clear from the start that we wouldn't be together forever. That was a courtesy any man should give to a woman if he didn't plan on being with her forever.

Besides, going out (temporarily) with a guy like Liam would probably help me heal faster. Having him pay attention to me would definitely make me feel at least a little better.

Liam leaned down and kissed my lips.

It wasn't like the passionate, earth-shattering one I'd shared with Dimitri the night we'd confessed our feelings for each other. It was a soft, friendly kiss.

I pulled him a little closer to me as we kissed, and I heard gasps from the doorway.

We let go of each other and spun around to see who had gasped.

Eddie, Dimitri, and Tasha were staring at us in absolute shock. "You…you guys are going out?" Tasha asked, her blue eyes wide in shock.

Liam gave me a warning look, and answered, "Yes, we are. And I won't be a coward and hide my feelings for my Rose." There was little doubt who he was directing these words to.

And Dimitri…he was looking at me with sorrow, pain, betrayal, and heartbreak. The look on his face…How could you do this to me? his eyes seemed to be asking me.

For a moment, I faltered, but I hardened my resolve. It was long past time to move on. That night had been a mistake, and now, it was time to just think of the future.

"Excuse me," Dimitri said, hurrying in the direction of the kitchen.

We opened our presents after breakfast.

So far, I got Amor Amor perfume from Adrian (the same perfume he'd given me when we'd met two Christmases ago at the ski lodge), cute sandals from Lissa, jeans from Christian, gift cards from Dash and Tasha, and a pearl bracelet from Liam.

I took the last box from under the tree. There was a tag – from Dimitri.

I wonder what he got me, I thought as I unwrapped the box. Probably a box of tissues or-

"Lip gloss!" I exclaimed, holding up the box to show everyone. Five different flavors too. I remembered how I'd always complained about not having enough lip gloss, and how after I'd injured my ankle, he'd given me lip gloss as a gift.

Adrian looked between me and him, jealousy clear in his eyes. "Since when is lip gloss suddenly so important?" I ignored him.

"There's more," Dimitri said, a hint of sadness in his voice.

I took out the lip gloss and widened my eyes. It had been hiding another box.

I lifted the tissue paper off and saw that it was a jewelry box. Shrugging, I opened the box and gasped. A beautiful ruby rose necklace glittered up at me from among the tissue paper.

Normally, I hated rose stuff. Lissa constantly got rose things for me when she got a chance because of my name. My full name was Rosemarie, which was even worse. But in this case…

"It's beautiful," I murmured, holding it up so the ruby caught the light. Dimitri came over to me. He caught hold of my hands and fastened the necklace on for me before he stepped away.

It was an intricately made rose, made of ruby with some silver parts running through it. The rose hung from a delicate silver chain that wrapped close to my throat.

I smiled a little sadly at Dimitri. "Thank you. It's a beautiful gift."

He nodded and smiled faintly. "I do like your gift, too. I can't believe you still remembered, after all that time."

With that, we'd finished opening our presents.

"We should go out to the Butterfly Hour tonight," Tasha lightly suggested, twisting her hands together. "Dinner will be cheaper, since there'll be lots of people there."

Everyone had a little too much champagne after dinner. Except for Eddie and Dimitri. Good to know that there was someone who would be able to drive us home tonight.

"Let's dance!" Lissa said, her cheeks rosy from drinking a bit too much. Luckily, this was nothing like the other night when everyone had gotten extremely drunk.

"Let's not," Christian groaned.

Liam was the least incapacitated out of everyone who'd drunk champagne. "Come on, let's go home and party it up a little."

It was with a lot of effort that we managed to get everyone and head out to the van and Tasha's Civic. After loading everyone into the van, Eddie took the wheel and drove us back to Tasha's house.

Lissa wanted to sleep in Christian's room, so Eddie decided to sleep in the living room. He also said it would be easier to alert everyone if there was a Strigoi attack.

Liam followed me up to my room. We shut the door, and he flipped on the light.

"Merry Christmas," he whispered, and kissed my lips. My lips tingled from the champagne left on his lips.

I'd drunk enough champagne that now I wanted more than just kissing with Liam. I still could reason and think, instead of being completely drunk and wasted.

We continued kissing, and soon I pulled him on top of me on my bed. I pulled him, kissing him a bit more forcefully than I had this morning, catching him by surprise.

My hands were tugging at Liam's shirt before I'd completed the thought. He started unbuttoning my shirt and taking off my shorts without stopping or hesitating. I then took off his shirt.

I was sure I'd never wanted to make love again with anyone after Dimitri. But now, I wanted it extremely badly. Maybe I was starting to fall for Liam after all. Maybe despite his words, he was starting to fall a little bit in love with me. Or maybe it was a mix of a bit too much champagne and lust.

He pulled back a little from me as his hands trailed down my shoulders and along my bra straps, and I could see the question in his eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asked me. "We only decided this today…"

"Yes," I told him, pulling him back to me for a hot kiss.

He then yanked off his jeans, tossing them to the ground as he continued to kiss me. He ran a finger across my underwear, making me gasp.

Soon, I lay under him naked, but he still had his boxers on. He sighed in contention as I ran my fingers across his ripped chest and kissed it.

"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever met, Rose," he murmured, pulling me closer and kissing me much more passionately than this morning.

I couldn't help but return the kiss, our tongues wrestling for control. He stroked my breast before switching to the other, and I gasped at his touch as he continued kissing me. It felt so good, to have him caressing my neck, the area in between my breasts…

I heard the door open but I ignored it, continuing to kiss Liam as his hands continued roaming over my body. I heard an intake of breath and lifted my head.

I gasped. It was Dimitri.

He was staring at us in shock, but he was apparently speechless after his gasp.

I remembered belatedly that I was completely naked, and almost might've blushed. From the look on Dimitri's face, he was definitely looking at me. Studying my face, my body. There was admiration and a bit of longing in his eyes.

I had a feeling of déjà vu all over again. When I was still at the Academy, he'd walked in on me fooling around with Jesse Zeklos in one of the empty lounges in my dorm. He'd kicked Jesse out, but before lecturing me, he'd definitely been checking me out. Of course, that time I hadn't been completely naked like I was now…

When he saw me staring back at him, he composed his face. "Just what are you doing here?" he demanded, his Russian accent becoming more pronounced as he spoke.

"Making love to my girlfriend," Liam retorted, getting off me and scooting in front of me so he was guarding me from Dimitri's gaze. I didn't have the heart to tell him Dimitri had seen me before.

"You're guests at someone else's home. Do you think we want you to do this type of thing in our home?" Dimitri asked icily.

Liam muttered some extremely rude words, and yanked the blanket off from the other bed to wrap around me. "Fine. I didn't you could be so upright about this type of stuff, Belikov. I'll take Rose somewhere else for more privacy."

"You can't just abandon the Dragomir princess because of selfish desires!" Dimitri hissed at him.

"We're planning on staying somewhere in the house, right darling?" Liam asked, gently stroking my cheek as he looked into my eyes.

I smiled up at him. "Of course, Liam."

"Why don't you two just get a room?" Dimitri muttered in disgust, crossing his arms over his chest as he glared at us.

"We definitely are planning on that, thanks for the idea," I said mock cheerily, kissing Liam.

"That suggestion wasn't meant to be taken literally," Dimitri groaned, throwing his hands up into the air. He backed out of the room. "Fine, do whatever you want." He slammed the door behind him as hard as he could to punctuate his remark.

I wrapped the blanket around myself tighter although he was gone. I'd been looking forward to me and Liam getting it on tonight, but now the mood was spoiled.

Liam gently kissed my cheek. "We didn't do it tonight, but it's alright. Besides, I'm not sure if making love to you while you're slightly drunk is a good idea."

"I'm…not too drunk," I protested, kissing him.

He laughed, but picked up my clothes from the floor and put them on the bed. "Time for bed, little girl."

I smiled at him before I put on my clothes and got back into my own bed and drifted off to sleep.

Author's note: Haha I know that I said the last chapter I posted would be the last one for the next 2 weeks because of my vacation...but since I finished my packing, I had some free time and decided to just write this chapter. Hope you enjoy and will have a nice 2 weeks while I'm gone :)