Part 2, Chapter 3, Citizen:
They whispered to each other over the din.
"Why can't you take me someplace nice? Less stressful, hmm? Maybe something crawling with Geth, or perhaps Collectors?" Liara didn't mention the crowd of protestors they had passed on the way in. The Batarian Hegemony and their sympathizers on Earth wanted Victoria's head over the destruction of the Bahak system. Being called a war criminal did not sit well with Victoria; she was absolutely seething over it.
Putting that unpleasantness from her mind Captain Shepard spoke out the side of her mouth as not to upset her beaming smile, "Fear not, Liara. The dashing captain will protect you."
"And where might he be?"
Shepard elbowed the Asari in the ribs as the chamberlain spoke up, "Presenting Captain Victoria Shepard, Normandy, and the Lady Doctor Liara T'soni."
The two women entered the reception hall to a round of applause. This is going to make blowing up the Collector Base seem like a cakewalk. She looked about the crowd, some wore genuine smiles, some were merely polite, and some scowled.
The Alliance had sure pulled a 180. Not three months ago she was alternatively dead or in league with terrorists. Now, she was a hero to humanity; slayer of Collectors, protector of the colonies. She was Lazarus, returned from the dead. She had done what the council would not do, could not do. She had annihilated a clear and deadly threat to the galaxy. She had returned to the Alliance with a new Normandy and sent the Illusive Man and Cerberus on the run. She was the hero they needed, newly promoted to Captain (skipping an entire grade). Someone is going to try to get me to run for office, I just know it, Shepard thought to herself.
"People are staring, and some of them don't look friendly," Liara whispered from the corner of her mouth.
Without changing her facial expression, a shit-eating grin which was becoming more and more painful to maintain, Shepard responded, "Half the people in this room want to fuck you senseless, and the other half are pissed off that you're getting all the attention instead of them." Shepard could feel the Asari blush from the change in temperature of her hand. She knew she was right, Liara looked stunning. An elegant crimson gown served as a perfect counterpoint to her fair blue skin. "Play your cards right…" she shot a sidelong wink to the Asari. Shepard was definitely a member of that first group. She could barely wait to get her back to their suite at The Plaza.
The evening was one big blur of hand-pumping, back slapping, bullshitting, and other nonsense that Captain Shepard would have certainly avoided if the choice were hers. Some of the other guests Shepard was genuinely glad to meet. Admiral Hackett made an appearance, as did Councilor Anderson. Victoria's heart nearly jumped out of her throat when she heard the chamberlain announce, "…Shepard, Orizaba."
Captain Hannah Shepard, commander of the dreadnaught SSV Orizaba, entered the hall and locked eyes with her daughter. "Love," Victoria spoke into what she thought of as Liara's ear, "I need to go say hello to my mother. I'll be back in a few minutes. Will you be ok by yourself? There are a lot of lecherous men 'round these parts." She looked at Liara wolfishly, "And not a few women."
Liara smiled and kissed Shepard gently on the lips much to the surprise of a few guests, an apparent violation of formal affair decorum. "I'll be ok. I think I'll go flirt with Anderson over there," she winked.
A moment later Shepard stood with her mother. She looked even more regal, dignified, in her 'mess dress' uniform than her daughter. Hannah looked at Victoria, her facial expression stern. Wait. This isn't right.
"Who's the trollop?" asked Hannah Shepard.
No. This is not how it happened. "Mother?"
"The Asari. What is she doing here? Shouldn't she be shaking her ass in a bar somewhere?"
Mother, what's going on? Victoria's face broke. She'd never been so unsettled, not even in combat.
"What? Are you going to cry because mommy doesn't approve of your whore of a girlfriend?"
What? No! Shepard's thoughts were interrupted by a crashing noise. The wall opposite the reception hall caved in, crushing half of the guests. "Liara!" Shepard shouted. She was gone. She's gone! No! This is not how it happened!
Recently commissioned Lieutenant Junior Grade Ashley Williams, newly minted Spectre of the Citadel Council, appeared at her shoulder, "Skipper! We gotta go!" Shepard could hear air raid sirens wailing in the distance. No! This isn't what happened! Ash pulled Liara and me out of the reception before the sirens, before the bombing. This isn't happening!
"Skipper!" Ash grabbed her arm and started pulling her towards the door. She looked back at her mother. She stood perfectly still, glaring.
A flash-bulb went off. The right side of Shepard's body felt aflame. It burns! She looked at her mother through her un-blinded eye. The nuclear flash, it must be a nuclear weapon, had crisped her flesh, set her uniform alight.
No! Mother! Liara! No!
"Mom!"
Shepard bolted upright. Her right arm burned. She rubbed it. The flesh did not flake off as she expected it to. She began to recognize where she was. This is my home. I'm on Thessia. She looked at her right arm; it was warming on the window sill.
"…mom! Mom!" Shepard looked down at her daughter. Now she remembered, she had fallen asleep in her arms. I must have startled her awake, she thought to herself.
"Good morning Sam! How are you?" Little Samara smiled back at her. She didn't expect a response really; she hadn't begun stringing words together in sentences yet. Soon enough she'll be asking for the car keys, Shepard thought to herself. "Up?"
"Up!" Samara responded enthusiastically.
"Ok! Here we go!" Shepard picked her up and leapt from her chair. She spun around the room hoisting her daughter up and down to her delight. Gosh she's getting heavy. My bad shoulder is going to start complaining about this soon. She sighted the couch, "Time to land! Zoom!" Samara squealed in delight as they landed on the couch, Shepard suspending her over her head. This is perfect, Shepard thought to herself, you're my perfect baby girl. She'd all but forgotten the nightmare. A flash, Shepard flinched. A beep, Shepard flinched again slightly and craned her neck. Liara stood over them, a small holo-imager in her delicate blue hands. Liara smiled at them.
"You two look like you're having a great time. Yes you do!" she tickled Samara.
Shepard smiled at her wife, "Love you."
Liara smiled.
Later, after Samara had gone to bed, arms wrapped tightly around a teddy bear gifted to her from Kelly, Shepard sat on the veranda watching the Thessian moon. The night air was warm. She wore a t-shirt and shorts. I'm not sure I'll ever get used to all the robes the Asari wear, she thought to herself. Thessia's moon wasn't the pale white of Luna, and no craters were visible through its cloud cover. Just a lonely blue orb marching its way through the sky, Victoria thought to herself.
As if she knew she was having an introspective moment, Kelly's footsteps on the gravel path to the guest house became audible. Shepard waited, the grounds weren't normally lit at night and Kelly had to negotiate the path by moonlight alone. Presently she came upon the veranda and sat beside Victoria.
"Aethyta all tuckered out? You know, she's over a thousand years old, you should take it easy on her," Shepard chided with a wink.
Kelly stretched and groaned. My, don't you sound satisfied, thought Shepard. "Oh no, she's insatiable. But she also knows that you and I usually have a chat about now, so I got off easy." She chuckled. "If Liara is even half like Aethyta you are in serious trouble when you get old and frail Victoria, she's going to break you in half."
"Anything on your mind?" pleasantries were over, time for therapy.
"I had another waking nightmare."
"What about?"
"Liara and I were at a reception on Earth. The night the war started. Everything was like I remembered it, but then my mom just sort of went off on how Liara was a slut or something. Then the wall caved in, and a nuke went off, and I watched her burn. You know, the usual stuff."
"What do you think it means?" asked Kelly.
"Not sure. They only met once, sort of, but Mother seemed to rather like Liara. They never even had time to talk, though; stuff started happening so quickly that night."
"It's not uncommon to revisit painful memories. Maybe you're trying to explore how things might have gone differently?"
"By watching my mother burst into flames in front of my eyes?"
"No, of course not. You have some very powerful experiences stacked up in your brain. They probably just bled through into this dream."
"Just like that, huh?" Shepard said mockingly.
Kelly scowled slightly, "Somehow, I don't think it's the dream's content that has you upset this time. What's really bothering you?"
"I almost dropped Sam. She was laying on me when I woke up, I startled her."
"You're afraid you might have hurt her?"
"Yes, though it's not as simple as that. I'm afraid I will hurt her." Shepard rocked her head back and forth popping the vertebrae, the replacement disks Cerberus had given her were especially loud, and she rolled her bad shoulder. Kelly was familiar with this behavior, it usually meant; I'm really bothered by something. "I don't want what I did in the past to happen to her. I'm afraid some old enemy might hurt her. Worse still, I'm afraid she'll find herself in danger, hell, put herself in danger like I did. All because she wants to be like me. You know what I mean?"
"It's natural for children to emulate their parents. Though, I think you might be jumping the gun a little on that. She's only a year old." Kelly shifted slightly on the porch swing. "You know, if you're really worried about your daughter wanting to follow in your footsteps, there is something you can do about that."
Shepard turned rapidly to look Kelly, what the hell?
Sensing the panic from Victoria, Kelly spoke. "I wasn't going to say leave her and Liara, and I definitely wasn't going to say kill yourself. I know you Victoria; those were the first two thoughts to enter your head. Why do you think we have these conversations? What I was going to say is; walk a different path."
"I don't know if I can do that. It's who I am. Wouldn't that just be another form of death?"
Kelly shrugged.