Walking back to his own home at two in the morning had Masaomi wondering how he had wound up in this situation at all. The sound of cars was louder than he would have liked in the distance, but the sound of his own guilt ringing like church bells in his ears was even worse. He didn't want to think about the past few hours- he'd much prefer forgetting about them altogether, but he couldn't stop his mind from lingering on the way Shizuo had touched him. The strong hands were more tender than he could have imagined, lips softer than they appeared- Masaomi shook his head with a scowl, adjusting the sleeves of his shirt with a small huff.

It wouldn't hurt to look over the past few moments of his life, even though reluctance held his stomach firmly. Scowling, Masaomi allowed himself to think back to what had happened. Touching. Kissing. Pleasure- all in public. The alley had been the tip of the iceberg, he had known that then. Being carried back to Shizuo's home had not been on his planned list that day, and for the first few minutes he had been able to cope with the feelings that were tearing him apart well. He had even been excited for the damned thing to happen. The thought of having Shizuo so close was enough to make his spine shudder all over again. The man had gotten his shirt off, his older tongue running along Masaomi's nipple while a free hand massaged the other. It had felt good- he wouldn't deny that. He hadn't been touched like that before, he had never been taken. Of course, there was the occasional girl that he would hook up with, but none of them ever treated him the same way Shizuo had.

And then there had been that same burning in his stomach- the other hand had manged to slip past Masaomi's attention and into his pants instead, fondling the contents, massaging what it could touch. He had moaned then, full of lust, ready for whatever Shizuo would throw at him next.

But for some damned reason, his mind had woken up.

Suddenly it had all seemed wrong.

Masaomi had squirmed away from the older blond in a hurry, fixing himself and readjusting his clothing the way it originally had been, all while a now dumbfounded Shizuo watched with obvious confusion. "I have to go, I can't-" Masaomi was breathless, cut off only by another kiss the bartender planted. The younger blond was resisting now, refusing to go along with any more. He couldn't- it wasn't right, for he and Shizuo- No. He wouldn't have it, his feelings were wrong, he did not want to acknowledge or believe them. So he ran.

And so here he was, now. Standing in front of his own door, anxiety at its peak inside of him. He couldn't hide forever, but he could damned near try.