Chapter 4: Release us- we need to go party.

The story seems to have more staying power than the Energizer Bunny and the Malfoy's put together. Or, maybe the Energizer Bunny is an ancestor of the Malfoy's- at any rate- they just keep going and going and going. Maybe we will find the answer to that question later.

Our heroes have been taken away by Fudge and his goons and they are currently locked up in the Ministry of Magic's holding cells somewhere deep in the Auror department. Mad-eye Moody, Kingsley Shackelbolt, and Nymphadora Tonks have been asked to stay and chat with the Headmaster on how they could possibly get Severus and Harry out of the clink.

Finally, Nymphadora has an intelligent idea, "Let's call Narcissa and ask her and Lucius what they think. Ciss, at least, really is quite brilliant! Runs in the family you know." This from a woman who likes to morph into purple hair and a pig snout?

Dumbledore's eyes began to glitter like a fire fly parade. "That could be just what we need to do." He nodded several times (dotty old wizards tend to do that.)

Soon the delectable scent of gardenias filled the office as Narcissa fluttered about the room greeting everyone and then plonked down on Mad-eye Moody's lap and squealed, "Grandpa! How are you? Do you have any pressies for me?"

The ugly of geezer smiled at his granddaughter and handed her a small package of something he pulled out of one of the inner pockets of his cloak.

She giggled softly as she whispered a thanks to him.

Moody glared at everyone in the room staring at them then turned to Lucius, "Come get this silly girl off me before I turn you both into ferrets like that Barty Crouch boy did that blasted grandson a few years ago."

Lucius looked slightly ill at ease. "Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir!" (Can you imagine him in a United States Marine Embassy suit? Damn but that man is a sex god.) He took his wife and arranged her on his lap where her wiggling would not do too much damage to his concentration.

The group went back to discussing what they could do to break the two out of jail long enough to register as Animagi since that was the only thing that Fudge was holding them on. After several stupid ideas were presented by the really intelligent men of the group, Lucius began to laugh loudly at the memory of his Christmas present- for some reason the idea of three wives just like the one he had would not leave his head. He finally managed to gasp out just what was so funny.

While everyone else looked on in various stages of irritation, Dumbledore began to giggle with him. "That is a splendid idea my boy! Just let me pop down to Severus's rooms to see if he has anymore polyjuice potion and we can be on our way."

~*~*~

Narcissa Malfoy is utterly beautiful. Any man in his right mind would jump at the chance to shag her. Therefore, when Narcissa Malfoy waltzed into his office and leaned across him so that her delectable bosom was hovering near his face, Minister Fudge (in the middle of one of his fantasies again) slid his chair back and pulled her down to his lap. The couple was soon showing some moves that only experience (lots of it) can produce.

It was therefore with a slight bit of horror that several aurors crashed into Fudge's office and caught him and Mrs. Malfoy copulating on a tiger skin rug. Everyone was suitably ill when the real Mrs. Malfoy, who had demanded that they go see Minister Fudge immediately, began sobbing and pointing at the fake Mrs. Malfoy and jabbering about how she and Lucius had flooed in to his office and they had been met by someone who had stupefied both of them and had cut off some of her hair then left them there!

Minister Fudge was horrified to find that he had been caught doing the down- and-dirty with Lord Malfoy's wife! Not only did Malfoy not share his toys with him, Mrs. Fudge was now standing in the room glaring at her errant husband. He was in deep shit!

~*~*~

Meanwhile, down in the dungeons, a cute little fluffy white bunny was busy hopping from cell to cell looking for the Hogwarts Potions Master and the Savior of the Wizarding world. He occasionally stuck his head inside random cells and bared his teeth at the occupants. Those not smart enough to show fear immediately soon saw the light, or the dark, or was that their own blood? At any rate, Draco was enjoying his mission and was dragging it out to cause as much havoc as possible.

Harry saw Draco first and quick as lightning he shifted into his macaw form and began flying around screeching, "AWK! It's a killer! AWK! It's a killer! AWK!" at the top of his lungs. Draco soon found them and slipped into the cell with them. He changed back into Draco just long enough to explain to them that they needed to go upstairs to Animagus Registry and turned back into a bunny.

The three of them made quite a sight as they raced through the halls: a cute little fluffy white bunny being chased by a huge black snake while a macaw flew overhead and screeched , "Lunch time!" Most everyone was laughing too hard to impede their progress.

It was only a few minutes work for the three of them to register as animagi and declare their forms. They had to prove they could change back and forth with no problems, fill out the standard forms in blue and black ink in triplicate and submit it to the committee which meets once every third blue moon if it falls on a Wednesday. No problemo! It could have been a bit more tedious except Minerva McGonagall had transfigured the regular department employee into a rat while she expedited the paperwork for the three.

The employee, a certain Mr. Avery, was never found after that. The macaw and the bunny were heard to grumble that they had to miss lunch while they registered, but the big greasy Snape, (Sorry, I mean snake) got fed.

~*~*~

Even closer to the surface, the scandal in the Ministers office is almost over. Minister Fudge and the juiced up Mrs. Malfoy were soon back in their clothes and (unfortunately) their right minds. The real Narcissa demanded that everyone stay until the polyjuice had worn off so that there would be no nasty gossip slung at her later!

Moody was more than happy to stay to see who this imposter was: Someone was going to pay for embarrassing his family! He was as shocked as everyone else when Dolores Umbridge regained her usual, incredibly revolting form.

Fudge and Umbridge both began screaming like girls (no offense girls- but we really do scream nicely on occasion). They were so loud that they both missed Shackelbolt murmuring, FINITE INCANTUM at Dolores.

"What induced you to come into my office and seduce me, you horrid woman?" Fudge was totally indignant and bent on saving his neck. (Or ass. Either is a good self-righteous cause.)

Dolores broke down in tears and began sobbing out a wild (which probably meant it was true) story about how Albus Dumbledore had entered her office and put her under the IMPERIOUS. He had then directed her to drink the polyjuice potion and go have sex with Minister Fudge. Her lovely tear- drenched blue eyes had little effect on everyone present.

However, she made a fatal tactical error by criticizing Headmaster Dumbledore in front of his lovely wife Minerva. Minerva, still feeling pleased with the success of her part of the plan, had entered the scene of chaos in time to hear Dolores vilifying her beloved.

"I will teach you to lie about my husband, you filthy old toad!" Minerva roared. She waved her wand at the hapless woman and chanted a phrase in Egyptian that no one had ever heard before.

In front of the bemused audience was a huge head of lettuce where Dolores Umbridge once stood. Severus Snape, back in human form, was heard to comment to his macaw and bunny, "See there! Minerva did remember to feed you!"

It is amazing how fast a rabbit and a macaw can consume a head of lettuce. Minerva looked around at the rest of the assembled audience as the rabbit belched. "Don't start blaming me for her death. I would have changed her back but once the animals started eating it was just kinder to let them finish."

Fudge looked at the clean floor, the well-fed pets, and then back to Dumbledore and his entourage. "What the hell just happened here?"

Albus Dumbledore sighed as he looked at Minister Fudge. "You were with Ms. Dolores Umbridge just a few minutes ago. However, she seems to have disappeared."

Fudge blinked a few times then looked around at the rest of the people in his office. "What are you all doing in my office? I want everyone out of here right now." As they headed for the door Fudge saw Snape bend over and pick up the bunny and cuddle it. He was mesmerized as Snape's long artistic fingers caressed behind the rabbits ears. He watched as the rabbit sighed, closed his eyes, and began clicking his teeth together in contentment.

It finally dawned on him that Snape was supposed to be locked up down in the holding cells. He glared at the tall imposing man and demanded to know, "Why are you out of your cell? You are supposed to be locked up, you Death Eater trash! You and that vile little Potter brat! Where is he anyway?"

Albus, who had been making his way to the door retuned to Fudge. "Minister, you should not get so excited about Professor Snape and Mr. Potter. They have both been down to the Animagus Registry office and have been granted their freedom by the Auror division. You could probably go down and find that Mr. Avery has already filed the forms. There really is no need to hold them any longer."

Fudge could not argue with that logic so he huffed and puffed a bit before letting Snape and his pets vacate the building. He was placated slightly by Headmaster Dumbledore inviting him to a small Quidditch match to be held the day after everyone returned to school following the holidays. He would get to sit in the Headmasters private box where everyone could see him- he considered whether there was enough time to contact his tailor.

As everyone was leaving the building Fudge's voice could be heard booming through the hallways, "Shackelbolt! Have you seen either Ms. Umbridge or Mr. Avery lately." Shackelbolt cast a sonorous on the Minister so the departing guests could hear the rest of it. "I want to speak to both of them as soon as possible. There has got to be something I can do to neutralize the threat that Dumbledore and his crowd pose to the ministry."

Auror Shackelbolt was heard to say that he would begin searching immediately for the missing ministry employees. Not to worry though, they probably were probably doing lunch somewhere. ~*~*~

Harry and Draco could be seen giving each other high-fives for the rest of the day whenever they burped up lettuce. For those of you who want to know about a snake's digestive habits- I suggest you read a book.

At the end of the day everyone was back at Hogwarts; safe, sound, and happy! After a small feast in the Great Hall everyone returned to their respective abodes (all except Harry and Draco who went down to the dungeons with Sevvie).