A/n: Hello! You guys seemed to really want this story to continue. So it will. I'll probably update when I'm not working on my other fics. So anyway what would you guys say to a crack pairing in this? Now it will be RusCan but as a side pairing I want to put a crack side pairing. I'm thinking Germano…you know Germany/Romano. Just give me your opinion on it. Still not sure.

Disclaimer: I don't own *sniffle*

~Lovina~

I sat on my bed starring outside of my window. Maddie has been gone for almost a year now. I miss her so much, she was my best friend, and damn it! I need her to keep me sane in this hell hole!

Bing

I turned to my open laptop and saw an email. I was going to ignore it until I saw who it was from.

It was from Maddie! I opened it up and read it.

Dear Lovina,

Hey it's me Maddie! I miss you so much. I'm doing a bit better. You? Any new news? I'm dieing to hear from you! I hope I can see you soon! Maybe over Christmas break?

Love,

Maddie

P.s: How is Ivan?

It was the first email from Maddie. At least I know she hasn't forgotten me.

But what to tell her…

Dear Maddie,

I miss you too. Why the fucking hell has it taken you this long to respond! Bitch do you know how worried I was? It's been almost a year! I know you might have been busy but I want to hear from you!

It's not the same with out you here. I hope you can come back to school soon. A lot has happened. I wish you were here. Just to let you know the damn vodka bastard is on a drinking spree. I don't know why though. Of course I'll come visit you over break! I'll have to ask my damn pedophile of a grandfather but not like he'll say no. Everyone misses you; they all come bitching to me asking if I've heard anything from you. You should have seen the hockey team when they found out you were gone. The wussies started balling their freaking eyes out. Not much to say. I guess I'll see you in two weeks?

Love,

Lovina

I sent the email and lay back on my bed. I was finally going to see my best friend.

~The next day~

I woke up and got ready fro the day. After I was done and had my uniform on I walked over to my grandfather's office to find out if I could go visit Maddie.

Knock, knock

"Come in~" My grandfather said in his usual cheery voice. Damn was it annoying.

I walked in and sat down in front of his desk.

"Ah Lovi! It's nice for you to come and visit me! Why don't you visit your nono more?' He asked hugging me.

"Get off me." I said shoving him off.

"So Lovi, what do I owe this visit to?" He asked getting all professional.

"I wanted to know if I could go and stay with a friend over winter break." I said.

"Oh? And who is this friend?" He asked.

"Maddie. She invited me to stay over." I said.

"Well since it's Maddie I don't see the problem. So sure! Just behave!" He said.

"Thanks nono." I muttered and walked out, that was easy.

~Ivan~

My Madeline was gone. No I can not call her mine. She was never mine to begin with. I miss her so much. I have long since broken up with Amelia. I could no longer stay with her as long as I knew Maddie had loved me.

Why had it taken me so long to realize my own feelings? I punched the wall and left another dent in it. I wallowed in my depression. I had nothing left but my vodka and the memories of her. I missed her and hurt to know that I was the cause of her leaving. I wanted to hold her in my arms and never let her go. But that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. I just hoped that Maddie still loved me. What an idiot I am…

~Maddie~

I read over Lovina's response and smiled. It was the first smile I have had in a long time. I knew I should have emailed her sooner, but I was scared that she didn't want me as her friend. I missed everyone, especially her and Ivan.

As hard as I tried I could not get over my love for him. I could not keep track of my restless nights where in the end I would cry myself to sleep. I loved him and I fear I will always love him.

A tear slid down my face. I wiped it away.

"Not again." I muttered to myself.

But I hope I had enough control to return to school soon. Maybe even after winter break. I just want to get back to them…

A/n: Sorry this is a bit short. Not sure what you think. Please review it would help with writing the next chapter.