XII.

Okay, I was confused. I know I'd been bad shape, but I was sure I was still capable of counting beyond one.

"Eric, I know that I'd been unconscious recently, and sure, I was totally terrified, but what I saw was just you, by yourself? In a room, with about fifteen fairies, including Dieter who was basically like a demon or the devil incarnate or something. You were alone, with only your sword."

"For the record, twenty five fairies in total at the compound that night and demons can be much worse than Dieter. And while I guess you could say I was alone as the sole body that entered, I wasn't really totally alone because Niall was seeing everything I was seeing and was casting magic from the moment I entered that room, Sookie."

I was taken aback. "He was seeing what you were seeing? How? Where was he?"

"I think he was on the roof of the building. At least that's the sense I had of it. I am only telling you this because I don't think it would be right for me to let you think he allowed me to be at such risk of harm to rescue you. It would be wrong for you to hold that against him. And wrong for you to think that I was your sole savior in doing that that. He did try to keep me safe, specifically so that I could save you. In so doing, he allowed us to put down Dieter's plot, knowing that we would kill all of Dieter's band. We both wished for your safety and for Dieter's end. By unifying our efforts, we achieved what each of us wanted. He helped me do it."

"How did he do that… what you describe? That he could see what you saw? How?"

Eric looked at me silently, again, considering things carefully. "If I tell you how he did it, you cannot reveal it to anyone."

"Okay…"

"I'm very serious, Sookie." He looked at me gravely. "No one else, knows. Not even Pam. It would be greatly frowned upon, for both of us."

"Eric, it's not like I'm going to tell anyone something that you tell me I can't tell anyone. Remember I can listen to people's thoughts all the time and obviously don't talk about that."

"It involved magic and my blood."

I was puzzled. "You mean he used your blood like in a craft sense? Like witches use hair or personal belongings?"

"No. I take it that this is some dark magical thing, among the Fae, for Niall to have done. He was very secretive about it and we were alone when he did it. He said it was old magic, called it blood magic. And from my end, to give my blood to a fairy… To say the least, an odd thing. But, that's what we did. He drank some of my blood after doing magic on it and in so doing he could see what I was seeing. I could feel him seeing through me, but it did not inform my actions in any way. By doing this, he could shield me from anything that Dieter could do, and he could protect you, too, if things went badly. As long as I was alive, he could see what was in that room and try to prevent things from getting out of hand with Dieter."

As if anticipating my next question, about why the witches magic didn't prevent what Niall was doing, he said "The magic the witches performed excluded his abilities, those serving him and especially those of Claudine and Claude. He had written some sort of incantation for Amelia and she had distributed it to all of them to use. It was as if all his fairies were insulated from the effects of the spell. The point I want to emphasize to you is that even though I was in that room alone, I did have his protection in large measure. Fairies are very hard to kill, Sookie. Dieter, especially so. This was the third time I have fought him in direct combat. He has always managed to escape before, even when vastly outnumbered. This time, between my battling him, all the iron and Niall's protection he was overcome. And Niall also did other things, for instance all the silver in the room was transmuted to iron. Their fire, already weakened, was largely quenched by some waves of magic that just washed through the room like the tide."

Suddenly I remembered Dieter dropping his silver dagger when he withdrew it from its sheath. The blade had glowed. It must have changed to iron and burned him, I realized. And Helga had not be able to set spark as I had seen her do so many times. What was it that Claudine had said to me? That there was other, more powerful magic at work than the witches' chanting? So Niall had used Eric as a kind magical conduit for information? And how long did that last, I wondered. What else was involved?

"But, was that safe? What you did- letting him use your blood? Was it safe for you? What else was in the magic? Are you sure you really know what he did?" I was so suspicious now of any really powerful fairy. If I had thought the vampires were devious, a day and a half with Dermot, Helga and Dieter had convinced me that the Fae could be downright treacherous.

"It seems as if it was safe for me. And the spell seems to have ended. From my standpoint, I think the risk was to Niall, Sookie. His having had my blood means I will always be able to find him, to track him. Let's just say that if anything had happened to you, he already knew that it would be a serious problem for him."

"I think you were very trusting," I said. And a few days in the company of Dieter would make anyone feel that way about the Fae, I thought to myself. "If you think he left you with any advantage over him, I'd think you're wrong, Eric." I said this with great conviction, thought I couldn't quite pinpoint why.

He rested his hand over his mouth thoughtfully. He raised his eyebrows and said, "Well, it was the only choice we had. The only way to go in and break down their magic enough so that all the other vampires could enter relatively safely."

"But what about the coven? All those witches? Claudine said that they were there beforehand, weakening the energy for their magic. I actually felt it drop steadily. I felt his power over my mind recede before you even came into the room."

"I think the bulk of damaging Dieter and Helga's magic was really Niall. Personally, I just can't believe that a bunch of chanting witches could do anything to Dieter. Maybe they could slightly impair his glamour on you, but in terms of what he could muster to defend himself? No. With seventeen witches, a room full of iron, Niall's magic and finally even Thalia helping me to corner him, it still took more than ten minutes to kill him once I had him, Sookie."

"Tell me how you found out what was going on, what you all actually did, what happened in that room."

He studied me carefully. "Are you sure it won't make it worse?" He sat with his elbows on the table, fingers steepled and pressed to his lips. His gaze seemed to seep into me, softly. It almost felt as if he was searching inside me, but gently so. I had become much more aware of such things since Dieter, I realized. Much more aware of someone trying to search for my feelings, my thoughts. Perhaps the bond hadn't been affected, I realized. Perhaps I have learned to be evasive and to shield myself. As self-defense.

Would going back and reliving the events of the past few days make it better or worse, I asked myself? I had overheard Claudine saying to Amelia that I was having nightmares. I didn't want to stay in a dark room to sleep. I had learned what it was to be very, very afraid in the past few days. I had learned the courage to fight back even against insurmountable odds, but also to recognize that in some scenarios, I might not be worth the risk of saving.

I looked down and could sense almost the same concern from him that I had picked up on with Claudine. That I might not fully get out of this psychological place I had been left in. That the inner scars, which I already had recognized, might not heal. But I couldn't help but dwell on it, I thought to myself. What could they expect? It was better to know. Maybe it would put an end to it somewhere in my mind. Maybe seeing it from the outside would let me move on. Or maybe those scars inside me would better prepare me to move forward.

"I'd rather know what happened. How you found me, how you fought. Not discussing it won't help me."

He nodded soberly. Then he began to tell me of things from Sam's first message to him, saying that I had gone missing, Amelia's reconstruction, the fight with Niall here in the house, Amelia's idea, Calvin, Mel Hart's murder, Preston's return, Alcide's offer of help. He paused as he got to the part where they actually implemented their plan at the compound. At Alcide's arrival with Preston at Dieter's compound. He looked at me carefully, as if to assess something. I knew he thought of Quinn. Alcide's job had obviously been to lure out Quinn and clearly Preston had morphed into wolf form to create some kind of diversion to get Quinn outside. But Eric seemed uncomfortable moving forward on the topic of Quinn. Finally he said,

"Lover, I don't want to upset you. But I want to tell you clearly, so that you know… if Quinn kept you safe from Dieter, no matter how that was accomplished, all that would matter to me was your safety." His gaze was gentle, but regretful.

I blushed. His implication was clear. He thought I had slept with Quinn to get him to keep Dieter away from me?

"Eric, Quinn tried to avoid leaving me alone with Dieter. At dawn, he carried me off to a room that he and I slept in, but he…" I gasped then, and burst into the tears that I hadn't been able to shed before. He had protected me. Even though he was so angry at me, even though he hated Eric, and thought that I had betrayed him by getting more involved with Eric thought I was supposed to be dating him, he had protected me. And now he was very dead.

Eric rose and then came and knelt next me, putting his arm around me. "Sookie, all that matters is that he kept you safe. Dieter… even if you had lived, he would have damaged you. Physically, mentally, emotionally. There is nothing that you could do to avoid that happening to you that would be wrong in my eyes. Absolutely nothing. Remember, I have seen what Dieter could do…"

I met his eyes. How bad could Dieter be that Eric, who was so possessive, would not care… Geez, I thought, still crying.

"No you don't understand… John didn't do anything to me, Eric. He tried to get me to eat, to drink. He put ice on my face. He said he was sorry, that he would try to get Dieter to give me to him, when everything was done, so that I could go home. Ha, so naïve, right…? But even though he was so angry at me, and absolutely hated you, he never laid a hand on me. He never tried. He did… many things wrong. But not that."

Eric looked at me sadly. He said softly, "Perhaps you cared for him more than I realized…"

"I cared for him in the sense that he tried, especially at the end, to be decent with me. I wonder now if he cared for me more than I had for him. But really, when that head rolled through that door, Eric, my only thoughts were… so very shameful. That now there was no one to protect me from Dieter…" tears just spilled down my face and I closed my eyes. I saw Frannie and his mother. Would they even know what had happened to him? It was so sad. Even if what he was doing was so wrong, he was still someone's son, someone's brother.

Nonetheless, thoughts of Quinn killing Andre, offering to try to kill Eric, suggesting that Dieter try to kill Eric did play in my mind. The Nevada takeover, which had resulted in Sophie-Anne's death. And Sophie-Anne had treated him with respect, so unusual for a were to experience among vampires, I thought to myself. All the plotting to harm vampires with Dieter, and before that, his dislike of vampires, when really, I had thought to myself so many times, it was actually humans who had harmed his mother. Though vampires had exploited him in their offer to help cover up Quinn's killing of her attackers when he had been fifteen and then his poor mentally unstable mother's more recent rages.

Eric rose and looked down at me oddly. He turned away, then got himself a True Blood out of the refrigerator and set it to heat in the microwave. When he finally sat down across from me, I sensed he was troubled.

I sniffled and asked, a tear rolling down my cheek and then splashing onto the kitchen table, "What's wrong? You're troubled by something. What's wrong?"

He looked at the bottle, not at me, turning it in his hands instead of drinking. Then he finally looked up.

"You aren't telling something. Every time you talk about Quinn, I feel it. You aren't telling me something you think important. I've sensed it time after time. Going back months. Even when I was going to take you to meet Niall."

I looked down and sighed. I had carried the burden too long and there was no point anymore, though I suppose some might consider it speaking ill of the dead.

I looked up and said with a grimace, "He killed Andre, Eric." Then I had to look away. It was still so awful to me because I felt guilty about it. "In Rhodes. After the bombing. I had found Andre in the rubble and I walked away and left him. I left Andre to chance. I didn't feel motivated to help him but I certainly wouldn't have harmed him by my own hand. I figured he had a good chance of surviving, because I had just found Bill nearby and then John. The EMTs had taken Bill and were coming back for John. Andre was nearby. After John saw that I walked away from Andre, he crawled over to him and… he staked him. He did it for me. To protect me. I mean, I guess that was his thought. I'd told him repeatedly that the bond was Andre's fault, not yours. I saw him do it from a distance. But… I did nothing to stop him…" I gasped. Part of me just felt like something had gone morally wrong inside me, all centered on a turning point around John Quinn. I'd watched him kill a defenseless man and hadn't tried to stop him, and I'd seen him die and was more concerned about myself than what had happened to him.

Eric looked genuinely surprised, and then I immediately began to feel the flood of anger. He was silent for a moment and then muttered "The fucking bastard. Sophie-Anne was so gracious with him. He killed Andre and then participated in the takeover. The miserable fucking bastard…"

He sat still, focusing intensely and I felt a wave of immense aggression from him. I looked away, thinking he must be reliving the moment when Quinn's life ended. I cringed internally. He glanced up at me, almost angrily, as if I was put off with him for no good reason.

"What I did was far more merciful than what Felipe would have done with him, Sookie. He did not suffer." He sounded as if he almost regretted that last part.

I nodded sadly. I knew he was right. And I knew he had earned his fate. But I really didn't want to know anymore about it.

He looked over at me and said, "It wasn't your fault. You chose not to harm Andre even though you felt he had harmed you. And it's not like you could expect to pull Quinn off of him, if he attacked Andre. That was his choice. You walked away from harming him. Let it go. The one who's responsible is Quinn, and that's done."

I nodded, still not exactly convinced. "What about the rest? Did Thalia really kill Helga? I saw her stab her."

"Yes, she did. She fought her and practically covered her with iron then finally killed her. Helga was pretty damn strong. The plan was that she would go after Helga and I would go after Dieter, who was far stronger. After she finished with Helga, she helped me with Dieter because killing him was tough work. He fought hard. But she helped me pin him a corner and then I let the beauty of Scandinavian steel do its work. After that I got at least another eight in the room. I got thirteen on my own in total, if I'm very generous and share Dieter with Thalia." He said this last part with a smile, sounding very pleased with himself.

He had killed thirteen fairies on his own? I really didn't want to think about what Eric must have been like as a Viking… But what about the others who fought?

"But everyone with you was okay, right?" I asked.

He looked at me soberly and shook his head. "No, Sookie. Everyone was not okay." He paused and then said, "Two of the three Arkansas vampires died. Indira is dead. And Bill is…"

I gasped "No!" horrified, sitting up sharply.

He reached out and took my hand and said, "… gravely injured. He fought a large German fairy who had a bronze sword, which was unaffected by Niall's magic. He was an excellent swordsman and Bill had only the pike. I killed that one. Pam found Bill still alive when we were mopping up. We thought he had been killed but he was buried under debris and bodies. He had almost bled out, but he will recover. He is buried in the Magnolia cemetery. We sealed him into a crypt so he can't do anything but rest and recover. We will go and get him in another day or two. He will be very weak for some time. He was almost decapitated and had other wounds. He was incapacitated by his injuries and very lucky to have survived. But he will recover." He looked at me curiously as if surprised I was so affected by the news about Bill.

I slumped back into my chair, with my hand over my mouth, feeling queasy. Yes, they fought to avert a war, but they'd all ended up there because of me. Poor Indira, I thought. She had been curiously fierce and loyal, in such a polite and polished little package. She had been so lovely and always so nice to me, even when I was just the human visiting the bar with Bill. And Bill. His wound sounded so ghastly. Just because vampires heal doesn't mean they don't feel the pain of an injury. It was just horrible to think of him being so grievously wounded.

I was silent for several minutes. Then finally I asked him that had been on my mind ever since I had gotten my hard won reprieve.

"There are more aren't there? Niall has still more enemies among the Fae, doesn't he?"

Eric just looked at me silently.

I proving to be so much trouble, I thought to myself. When he took the risk of bonding me to him, he really had no idea what a charming history he was tying himself to at that time. I remembered that in Rhodes he had said to me that I was 'a mystery' and that it was his business because he had tied himself to me. Little had he known… The thought of what he had committed himself to just made me sad.