XIV.

He turned onto his side and propped himself up. He looked at me like he was certain it was not going to go over well.

"Okay, first, you need to understand the blood. Blood is everything. To a vampire blood is everything. It drives most of what you do in your waking life. It animates everything. It feeds the magic that makes you vampire. There is a link whenever one has a vampire's blood, which you already know exists. I give you my blood, I can feel you, I can find you, I know you. Even if it is just a drop, in my case, because I am so old. And the more you have of my blood, the stronger that link becomes. So all those times you got a bit, when we were lovers before, and the other times, on top of the larger amount you had in Jackson, it was all about my knowing, my feeling, more and more of you. Which is why it was so confusing after Hallow's curse broke and I had no memory of what had happened. Whenever I saw you, I plugged into all those feelings from you. But the bond… the whole idea of a blood bond is to put someone in permanent thrall. For anyone else, other than you, having had even small amounts of my blood would have put them in thrall to me. I could dominate them, control them, for a time, until the effects fade. With a blood bond, it would be permanent. The bond that Andre tried to force on you- getting you to agree to drink his blood and he yours, would work, but it works better if there is a prior connection, a previous thrall. That's why he went for my idea. We already had a connection. The basic idea of a permanent thrall is to enslave someone, Sookie. To make them do your bidding without any thought, without any concern other than the vampire's wishes. It is a way to create a slave."

I was just chilled. I stiffened next to him. He continued, stroking my side idly, trying to soothe me.

"But that assumes that you are enthralled in the first place. No glamour, as you can see, means no thrall. But how does the enslavement work? It creates all these feelings between the person enthralled and the vampire. It can be based on fear, on devotion, it depends on what exists between the two and what is brought to bear. If feelings were already there, it amplifies them. So if you can't be compelled, because there's no thrall, then you're just left with… the feelings you have between the two individuals. You can hate someone you're bound to. You can love them. But whatever you feel, it will be stronger."

"But what does the vampire feel?" I asked.

"Normally, the vampire who creates the blood bond feels in control, the urge to dominate. This is like the bond a sire has with a child, except perhaps less so, since a child is your own kind and there is more incentive to protect your child, unless you have created it for a specific task and then discard it. Normally, the vampire looks at the control over a blood bonded person as almost playing with a toy. It is like a kind of superglamour. You have someone who will do your bidding, no matter what you ask of them. Which is part of why the idea of you being bound to Andre was impossible. He would have killed you. He never would have accepted that you were not enthralled. You already disliked him, feared him. All of it would have been amplified and you would not have done his bidding. You already had a taste of how that works with Dieter, right? It does not make powerful people happy when you do not do their bidding, resist their glamour and they feel your hatred. Andre definitely would have killed you."

"But you don't care that you can't glamour me. You haven't really tried to control me. Not seriously." I said, almost puzzled.

"Well, I glamoured you in Jackson when you were staked, so I know it's possible to glamour you if you allow it. But no, I don't care. In fact, in a perverse way, I like it. I like it that you can't be glamoured if you don't wish to be. Because obviously everything you feel or do with me is genuine. It took getting used to but I realized after Jackson, that I really liked it. And I always liked you. From the moment you told me you were not sweet, I liked you. When you told me off after the maenad attacked you and you'd had that drop of my blood from biting my hand, I really enjoyed you. I liked your humor and your courage. And it just grew from there, as I had gotten you to have a bit more of my blood every time. My only concern with making the bond was whether or not I had made you really hate me for the way I had acted throughout the year, after I had left your gentle care. And I didn't even know the half of it, because I didn't really remember it" he said with a rueful laugh. "How you didn't hate me was a testament to how much you loved me. I knew what it was to have bond that rang with hatred. But imagine my delight. I liked how it felt. I knew in time you would like it, too. And then it was more than liking. Much more."

"But the bond feels different now than it did then. Why does it change if it doesn't fade. If it's permanent who can it change."

"It can change and grow in strength. More of my blood increases the strength of the bond. But also, you changed the bond, Sookie. The very first chance you allow me to be with you again and you go and make another exchange…" he started laughing. He rolled on top of me and looked at me almost merrily. "But this is better. Our blood was happier in the making of it a second time."

"But if I'm not enslaved, what does it mean Eric?"

"You're mine," he said quickly and sharply. His eyes glowed a bit as he lay above me.

"You're just so annoying." I elbowed him.

"No, I mean really, Sookie. Mine. No other vampire would think otherwise. You clearly belong to me. Any vampire who meets you will know that you are bound. Even Dieter, who was Fae, could tell because the magic of the bond is so strong, because it is based on strong emotions. There are those who choose a human partner and bind that partner to themselves. To me the problem is that if the person is in your thrall then you really have to question how genuine the attachment is. I would not like to enthrall a partner. But to bind a genuine partner who wishes to be with you. That is unique. Most bonds are really to create a slave, not a lover. That was why Felipe thought our bond was interesting. Clearly, you do not look too enslaved, so the only conclusion is that you are bound to me because of some emotional tie. I'm sure he thinks that it is a way to control your gift skillfully, by pleasing you, to make you perform better as a telepath or that it's some other manipulation of you. But simply put, in the context of my world, you are completely mine."

"Okay, so then, that's it? I'm yours. And that's it."

"Well, there is the fidelity thing…"

I rolled my eyes. "Are you going to make up some bullshit? Because I'll ask Pam if I think you're making stuff up, Eric. I swear I will." I pushed as if to get him off me.

"As if she'd know… No, I'm serious." He looked me in the eyes. "You're pretty much ruined for anyone else, Sookie. It's why I was willing to wait. So you could be sure of your feelings. Because it's a serious commitment."

"I seem to have heard that one from you before," I said shaking my head. "Ruined for humans…"

"Not just for humans. Just think about it. Think about how you feel. It is like the difference between seeing in color and seeing only in pale shades of gray. But on the other side, my side, it is not so different. I crave you. You, your blood, your scent, your touch, your voice… you have no idea. Vampires have much stronger desires than humans. And a bond as strong as ours can be like an addiction. To be apart can be painful. To suffer loss… would be very difficult."

"Well, I still don't understand the urge to bite you. I don't understand where that came from. I don't like it and I want it to stop."

His eyes looked down into mine. That was more than enough for the present was the message I got from those eyes. He kissed me and rose to dress.