Don't own VA. R&R!
CHAPTER 8: You're joking
"Do you love me?"Rose asked.
"Of course I do. How could I not" I replied.
"Since when?" she asked again smiling seductively.
"Since..forever. I have loved you since forever and I will until I die." I said looking her in the eyes and meaning every word.
"Kiss me then!" she demanded. I didn't wait for her to repeat her request. We were wrapped in each other's arms in my bed. When I let go the kiss she rested her head on my chest. I was sure she could feel my heartbeat.
"I love you too Dimitri! More than you can imagine. Please don't leave me! Don't ever leave me!"she said, tears in her eyes.
I woke up unable to steady my breath and my heartbeat. It was only a dream. I often had Rose-dreams-really hot dreams- but that one was different. Rose had begged me not to leave her. I couldn't not in my dream not in the real world. She had to know that. I heard knocks on my door and I opened it expecting everyone but Tasha. I wasn't sure if she would ever want to see me or talk to me again. But apparently she did.
"Sorry if I woke you up. Can I please come in? We need to talk." Tasha said. I said nothing and stepped aside to let her in. she didn't seem nervous. No, she was determined. "Look I understand the whole situation is above awkward. But since you were honest with me we can talk with open cards." she said.
"Tasha, before you say anything I want you to know that I'm terribly sorry. I had no intention to hurt your feelings, yet somehow I did. What I did was awful and I'm really ashamed of it." I felt all the world's apologies wouldn't be enough to make her feel better.
"I know that Dimka. Even if you tried you wouldn't have purposely hurt me. And it's better for me to face the truth than living in illusions and hoping for fantasies. You made your position clear and I totally respect it." I had no idea she faced it that way. Now I admired her even more for her strength. "Just one question. You did what you did..why?" she asked staring right into my eyes. I would tell her the truth but at the moment I didn't even know what the truth was. Honestly why had I done what I did? I really wanted to know if things could work between us and I was experimenting..checking my boundaries. But I also did it out of anger and jealousy that Adrian had kissed Rose. I felt betrayed and it was a reaction of pain. "Will you tell me? I think at least I deserve to know the truth."
"Of course you do. Look, I didn't lie when I said I wanted to check the possibilities of o potential relationship. It was half the truth. What I didn't mention was that I ….got angry and jealous because of Rose and Adrian. And there's when I got it all wrong at the first place. I ended up hurting you, me and her." I said unable to look her in the eye. None of us said anything for a few moments and I heard her taking a deep breath before going on with whatever she wanted to say.
"I had it figured out, you know!" she said smiling suddenly. That surprised me˙ how could she possibly know? "I realized it after you told me about her. Thank you for being honest with me, Dimitri!" she kissed me softly on the lips and turned to leave. While opening the door she told me;
"If you ever need to talk or support all you have to do is call. Things might are awkward between us after what happened but I'm willing to remain your friend..if you agree. Things are not going to be easy Dimka and you know it. There are many who won't be pleased when this comes out. So, be careful, OK?" she said and there was pure concern and understanding in her voice.
I only felt worse but I was glad to know she didn't hate me or blame me for something. I reached her and caught her into a tight hug. "Thank you! You've no idea how I appreciate it especially coming from you!" I whispered into her ear. She let go of me and left.
"Take care!" she said before turning to the corner. I got dressed and decided to pay Adrian a visit. I had to talk to him before going to see Rose. He had to know that we needed him to testify whether he had seen or heard anything during the attack. I knocked his door and waiting a while until he opened it.
"Guardian Belikov!" he said wearing his bathrobe. There were black circles under his eyes, evidence of insomnia. He hadn't slept? "What can I do for you?" he asked.
"There are some things we need to talk to talk about. About the attack I mean. May I come in?" I said trying to be polite but he was making it difficult.
"Adrian? Who's at the door?" I heard a familiar voice from inside the room. It couldn't be her..
"Please come in.." Adrian stepped aside and I nearly run in the room. And there was Rose with the same bathrobe as Adrian half asleep on his bed. Was this a joke? Because I wasn't laughing. Or was it payback for what she had seen with Tasha? Without thinking I grabbed Adrian and pressed him against the wall unable to control my anger. I knew this wasn't the way I would have reacted if I had caught another student couple. But that was Rose! My Rose! And Adrian wasn't a student!
"What have you been doing?" my voice was sharper than ice. I nearly didn't recognize it. "You were supposed to take care of her and calm her down after what happened. But instead you took advantage of her. You feel proud of yourself?" I was yelling at him now and God knows what I would had done if Rose's calm voice hadn't come to relax me.
"Dimitri! Put Adrian down and come here to discuss with me. You always misunderstand things. Why don't you ever ask?" she asked angry now. I did what she asked me to and just then realized how childish I had reacted.
"Adrian could you please give me a moment alone with my instructor?" she told Adrian politely. He smiled to her and turned to leave without a word.
"Thanks for everything Adrian!" she said when he was at the door.
"Anything for you babe." He blew her a kiss and shut the door. Babe? The guy had a death wish.
"Well Mr. Never-ask-anyone-about-anything come closer." Rose said turning to me. Did she understand what she was doing to me? Obviously she didn't. so it would be wiser to act like a guardian.
"You'd better have a good explanation about all this Hathaway!" I said looking angry.
"Hathaway? Wow you really are pissed" she said not worried at all. In fact she was smiling! No, she wouldn't get this her way. I wanted an explanation and I would get it.
"How about you start talking?" I suggested.
"OK, Ok calm down. I'll explain!" she said getting out of bed still wearing the bathrobe. "When Adrian brought me in the lodge I didn't want Lissa to see me ready to break down..or anyone else. So I asked him to take somewhere to regain self-control. We came in his room and I…" she paused and I got really nervous. What had she done?
"You what?" I asked trying to soothe her.
"I started crying! I broke down and started crying. Think God Adrian was the only one with me..it would ruin my reputation, you know? I was crying and sobbing and had an asthma attack and I couldn't breathe. Adrian got me to take a shower and then just hold me while I cried to my sleep. You know the rest.." she finished staring in my eyes. So, nothing happened between them? He had just comforted her as a friend and spent the night watching her over as she slept? It still bothered me, but nothing else had happened right? I felt relief and..guilt. I should be the one in Adrian's shoes. I should had taken care of her.
"Are you telling me the truth Rose?" I asked raising one eyebrow.
"I swear I'm telling the truth. Adrian didn't even sleep on his bed. I remember going to sleep in his arms but I woke up this morning and he wasn't here. He slept on the couch poor thing.." she said and there was something truthful in her words that vanished any doubts of mine. And the fact that Adrian hadn't been close to her-like bed-close- made me even happier.
"Am in trouble?" she asked looking fake worried ad trying to hold back a smile. If only she knew what that behavior of hers did to me.
"No, considering what you've through lately but don't even think of repeating this.." I said pointing to her clothing and the bed "..again. have I made myself clear?" I was the one trying not to laugh now.
"Yes, sir!" she laughed and she hugged me. What the..? How was I supposed to get o hold of myself when she was always crossing the lines of my self-control? And now with her hands around my neck, her lips slightly upon my shoulder, her chest pressed on mine and my hands around her waist I was that close to lay her back to bed..with me. Stop it, already for God's sake!, I ordered myself.
"Rose, I think you should go back to your room. Lissa would be worried about you." I said when she let go the hug. And I don't want staying here a second more, I added silently. Rose then concentrated and her face went blank. I would worry if I didn't know that she was using the bond to "feel" Lissa.
"You know what? You're probably right. I should be going. Oh and don't even think confronting Arian. I'll know and you'll be in trouble." She said leaving the room.
"Oh will I?" I laughed when she grinned and closed the door. I could say Rose was pretty normal and herself around me though there was something in her like..holding back. Like she did much effort not to say things she wanted. Could that be because of Tasha? Oh, great! I hadn't talked to her about that. I was being a class-one jackass. I had demanded explanations when I had found her in Adrian's bed and she hadn't even done anything. She, on the other hand, had witnessed me "on duty" and hadn't even mentioned it. Admit it, Belikov! You have to be joking, right?