XV.

It was Wednesday. Claudine arrived late, at 7:45 am, a full hour after sunrise. She apologized profusely for having overslept. She could feel how edgy I was but I told her I was fine with being alone. My edginess had nothing to do with not having some supernatural protection every single moment of my day. I was nervous about the visit. Part of me was really reconsidering the whole thing. I was starting to think that being too forgiving, probably with either vampires or the Fae, could really get you into a load of trouble.

She tried to soothe me by brushing my hair. She put two fine braids in my hair, on either side of my face. I looked in the mirror and told jokes about Galadriel in the Lord of the Rings. She was psychic, but also telepathic and could project her thoughts into the minds of others. Talk about suffering. That would be a really awful life to read peoples minds, know the future and have to decide what you tell them? No thank you. She was an elf. I tried to ask Claudine if elves were different from fairies but she was pretty evasive about whether they were still Fae. Well, that confirmed that they exist. How much else was out there? Genies, demons and elves were all real.

We sat out back for a while. The weather was mild and in the low sixties. It was really starting to feel like spring. My daffodils were going to bloom soon. I rocked and tried not to feel too apprehensive. I looked at the four ashy smudges on my wrist, and the one on the underside from Helga's thumb. Part of me thought I should just live with them, as a good reminder. I had repainted my nails with one of the polishes that Janice had given me. A nice medium red. I was wearing an old indigo sweater and a pair of dark denims. I had socks on my feet but hadn't worn shoes out side on the porch. My socks were soon dirty and I thought to myself that later on I should really get out here and sweep the porch and maybe mop it down.

We didn't talk much. Amelia came out to chat briefly and then said she was going into Shreveport to do some shopping. Time dragged on. We talked about Seabiscuit. Amelia had rented the movie for us to watch. Claudine was looking forward to it. She really liked animals of all kinds. She wondered why we didn't get another cat after Bob left. I explained about Bubba and she looked very appalled. I was actually pretty sure that if I told him not to hurt a cat of mine, he wouldn't. Bubba really liked me. But after my Tina was killed by Rene, I just didn't think I could go through that again. Too many things can happen with supes in your life.

At 9:45 am I went inside and poured myself another cup of coffee. Claudine wrinkled her nose as she looked down at me sipping it. She liked some human food, especially anything sweet, but said coffee was a dreadful disappointment, since it smelled good but tasted awful to her. I sat at the kitchen table watching the clock.

At precisely 10 am, there was a knock on the front door. I took a deep breath but didn't rise from the table. Claudine looked at me as if worried. I took one more breath and then rose and headed to the front door.

Niall filled the doorway. He looked down on me with his piercing green eyes. It was a hopeful look he gave me, I had to admit. I just nodded to him and gestured that he should come in. I already felt like my eyes were tearing. At least he did not try to hug or kiss me as he usually did. I wouldn't have taken it well. But instead of passing into the house, he gestured to me to step outside.

"Child," he said motioning that I should step out. He turned and I gave a little gasp. He took my hand as I took one step out the door to see Dermot standing on the lowest porch step. I looked away and felt myself trembling. I felt even more like crying but the tears wouldn't release themselves. They had not told me that Dermot would come along.

Dermot was held securely by two huge fairies. They were even taller than Eric and they looked like they were guarding him closely. Dermot's eyes were downcast, his face looked haggard, and he would not look at me. Leaning against one of the porch pillars was Preston, who met my gaze straight on, with a soft smile. Niall nodded to him and he stepped forward and knelt on one knee and took my hand while Niall still held the other. I felt exceedingly uncomfortable and embarrassed.

Preston looked up at me and said, "I beg your forgiveness. I wronged you. Not once, but twice."

Then the tears began to flow and I could only nod to him. After glancing at Niall, who I could see out of the corner of my eye nodded to him again, Preston rose, kissed my hand and stepped away.

"Dermot," Niall prompted sternly.

Dermot looked up and regarded me with dark eyes, defiantly. I just looked away. He wasn't sorry, so we could drop the pretense as far as I was concerned.

"What shall I do with him Sookie? I don't know whether to let him live or not. What do you think?" He looked down at me with no more emotion than as if he was trying to decide what shade of paint we were going to paint a wall. So emotional about his own son, I thought. How long had they been like this, I wondered. I guess centuries, based on what Eric had told me about them.

I looked up at him and said firmly, "That's your problem. And you're not going to make it mine." I let go of his hand and turned, walking back into the house.

I sat down in an armchair in the living room. A few moments later, Niall entered and passed by me to sit on the couch. I assume he had sent Dermot away, for which I could only be grateful. Now I had to make my grandmother's memory in me happy. I had to be polite.

"Would you like anything to drink, Grandfather?"

"No, child, no thank you. You look well. You have healed quickly."

And then an odd thing happened. He did look emotional, looking at me just then. Only, I didn't know what to say to him. I glanced away, but another tear rolled down my cheek. I really wished that Claudine would come into the living room, but she had remained in the kitchen as if she had been instructed that we were to be left alone. I felt acutely uncomfortable.

"I am glad that you agreed to see me. I realize that you have been through… much. I know too from Claudine that you are ambivalent about seeing me. I have come to see that I had made certain assumptions. Assumptions about knowing what was appropriate to you. Assumptions about what… or who, was important to you. I find myself in the uncomfortable position of apologizing to you."

I turned to him and started to speak and then bit my tongue. Sharp replies were not going to make things any better, I told myself.

Finally I said the softer version of what was in my mind. "I really don't know what to say, Grandfather. About any of it. About Preston, or Dermot, especially about Dieter. I was just unprepared… to know any of you. Other than Claudine and Claude. I did not understand before. Now I think maybe I understand too well."

I leaned on the arm of the armchair slightly and looked away, out the living room windows. It was shaping up to be a sunny day. I wanted to be anywhere but here.

For several minutes we were both silent and then finally he said,

"I should have let myself be guided by Claudine. She knows you well. She understands you. She has had more time to know you."

"She made the effort," I said, cutting him off. My hand went to my mouth. It seemed that sharp words were all that came to mind.

He looked stung at that remark.

"Eric has told me that he told you."

"Told me what?" I was not falling into any trap there…

Niall glanced toward the kitchen and then made a gesture of sweeping something down from above. I felt this odd sensation surround me.

"What is that?" I asked quickly.

"A way to speak privately. Eric told me he told you of the magic I used that night. He said that he told you because you were angry that he had entered the room, with Dieter, alone and unprotected."

He hasn't told me that he had told you that, I thought to myself. I wondered if that blood magic thing was really ended or if Niall had tricked Eric into something that would remain with him permanently, like some kind of surveillance. With my face resting on my hand I regarded him coolly, waiting.

"You do not trust me, Sookie?"

"I don't know. I'm not finding much to trust in anyone these days. Other than a very few people."

"He did tell me. He called me to tell me after you were asleep that night. I asked him not to discuss it further with you. That I would answer any further questions you had about it."

I was still silent, looking at him with the best poker face I could muster.

Finally he said, "I find you very changed. Quite remarkably. You are much less open."

Dieter could change anyone, I thought to myself. I was still silent.

"You seem to be suspicious of my motives in discussing the subject. I assure you that I mean you, and Eric, no harm. It was a very old kind of magic. Blood magic is part of the old way. I would not have the younger among my kind use it, and misconstrue its immense power. Like the magic of vampires, it can be misused in the wrong hands. I think you can understand this based on how you came to be bonded to Eric."

I looked away. I could do without his discussing Eric. Yet he continued.

"I have to admit I was very surprised he told you. Each time I deal with him, I am reminded he is a person of some honor. It is surprising in his kind. I have known him for centuries. I suppose I should know better by now. He said he did not wish you to think ill of me because of something that was untrue."

That did sound like Eric. It pretty much paraphrased what he had said to me. Perhaps Eric had talked to him. I still didn't know and wouldn't until he was awake and I could call him and ask him.

"Things between you seem very different from when I met you in November."

Well, I was not going to discuss my relationship to Eric with him. There was simply no way.

"Grandfather, what do you want from me. I mean really, what do you want? This whole thing of meeting me, not meeting Jason, telling me only a bit of information, not telling me what I might really need to know, like I should look out for being kidnapped by my own great-uncle and being given to one of your worst enemies as some sort of bargaining chip and that your enemies could be sadistic and cruel? What the hell do you want with me?"

He winced. "I wanted to know you. You are my family and I simply wanted to know you. Claudine spoke so highly of you. So I wanted to meet you. To know you."

"If I was so great that you wanted to get to know me, why didn't you tell me more about what I needed to know? Why didn't I get the memo on the fact that knowing you could almost get me or someone I love killed?"

"I really thought you were safe. Preston was a miscalculation. The Weres I hired talked to Dieter's group. They have been dealt with. Preston, as I see it, was truly entrapped and he tried to make amends. He will serve you faithfully should we ever have the need. He is very fond of you."

I just shook my head. "So basically, you just want me forgive you, then right? Then you can just leave me alone? Do you want to get rid of the silence thing, so that Claudine can hear me forgiving you, or is my saying it like this enough for you?"

He looked at me piercingly. "You are still so angry…"

"Do you have any idea what I went through? And if it wasn't enough that I was going through it, I thought someone I loved, maybe more than one, was going to die because of me? I really don't think that angry even begins to approach how I feel. A woman I know died fighting to get me back. My former lover almost died and probably will be weak for years because of me. I realize that when you're so old and have seen so much, that my take on things may seem petty, or naïve, or not so grand in the scheme of things and it may not be of any real consequence to you. But you know what, you're right. Maybe you should just ask Claudine about how I feel. It will save us both time. Maybe it will get into your mind a little more smoothly so you don't have to strain yourself by trying to understand humans. I feel betrayed. I feel badly used by family I never sought out and had no idea I should fear. I feel suspicious of you and whatever motivated you to walk into my life."

I stood up and walked into some sort of cloudy mist. "Can you get rid of this thing?" I asked him.

He rose. "Sookie, I am so very sorry. I am… so proud that you are my great-granddaughter. I am so proud of you. What you have of our blood, of my blood, you have in such great fierceness. You are so brave, even though I know this experience made you feel so terribly vulnerable. And yet you fight like you are made of steel. When I first saw you, I was intrigued. Something of your appearance reminds me of Einin, who delighted me. And yet you are her opposite in so many ways. So strong, so unyielding. When I saw you through his eyes, fighting back against Dieter, throwing Dieter's glamour back in his face… You amazed me. You amazed everyone. It made me so proud that you were my great-granddaughter. To be so afraid and yet so unyielding to such a force as Dieter… There is something in you, in large measure, that is Brigant to the very core."

I turned and just stared at him. "You'll have to forgive me for thinking that's not such a good thing."

"I hope in time, you will think otherwise. And that you will find it in your heart to forgive."

"If you want my forgiveness, I'll give it to you. I forgive you for not understanding the slightest thing about me." I turned back and tried again to exit the misty curtain-y thing.

"Is there nothing that I can do for you, or give you to make up for what has happened?"

I stiffened and turned slowly, nodding. "As a matter of fact, there is one thing…"