A/N: Okay, so two people who reviewed said a few months. One person said a few years on my poll. So, it's still a toss up. This chapter will not mention how long it will take until the next star. So, PLEASE answer my poll or tell me in a review!!!!!!!!!!!!
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own iCarly. (But, I love italics!)
I was watching her. Though, she did not know. I was a fly on the wall. A silent, unnoticed being. But, how could I be seen? How could I be noticed? I wasn't truly there. Or was I? I looked on at her unmoving figure on the couch. Carly, move on. It's been a week. Why…Why are you still laying there? I briefly heard a flutter of movement. But, it wasn't her. It was Spencer. He came to the couch, her bed for the last week, and whispered, "Carly, Carly, it's time for school. You have to go to school."
"Why? I wished my best friend away. I don't deserve to learn! It's like I've committed murder. I never saw any blood. I don't have a weapon to hide. But, either way, she's gone! And, it's my fault." Wow, Carly. That's…poetic. Spencer opened his mouth to protest, but she stopped him. "Don't tell me. I know you don't believe it's possible. Neither does Freddie. No one does. But, even if she didn't 'disappear,' I wanted her gone – for that split second, I really did – and…and now she is. Your words are powerful, Spencer. And, so are mine." That was the longest any of us had heard her speak since my disappearance. She really believed it was her fault.
I wanted to scream out, "Snap out of it Carly! It's not your fault! It's mine! Yeah, you made the wish. But, I did the damage that brought you to that point. It's my fault I'm hear not yours." But, I didn't. It didn't matter what I screamed. She would never hear me. But, I would be back. I knew I would. Then, I would tell her not to blame herself. I would tell her not to worry. But, for right now, that was impossible.
She brought her head off of the tearstained pillow and reached for her backpack laid neatly next to the couch. Spencer looked hopeful. He had failed to get her to school the last four days. I guess letting out some of her feelings helped. I could see the pain in her eyes as she opened the door and proceeded down the hall and out the front doors of Bushwell without even changing or brushing her hair. Freddie soon came out of his apartment. Seeing me, he started to ask about her.
"She's going to school. I don't know how she'll act, but she's going. She told Spence how she felt. She believes it's all her fault. She thinks she's committed murder," I told him on our way to school. Hey, I may not enjoy it, and no one will know I'm there, but I do need it.
"Well, isn't it? I mean she did wish you away. I don't believe she should be this hard on herself. But, she did make the wish."
"She made the wish. Yes, she did. But, that doesn't mean it's her fault. It's mine. Why do you think she made the wish in the first place? For fun? Because she thought it would be funny? No. She made the wish because she was tired of my antics. She was sick of our fighting. She couldn't take it anymore. So, yeah, she made the wish, but, no, it wasn't her fault." My head hung as if I were counting the cracks in the ancient sidewalk. "It's mine. It's all mine. Just because I couldn't tell you how I felt. Just because I was afraid. Just because I was embarrassed. Now, we're all in this mess. I'm invisible. Carly's sunken into depression. And, everyone thinks you're crazy for talking to 'yourself.'" And, it was true. People were staring at him To everyone else, he was the only one there. He was the only one holding a conversation. I wasn't there at all.
"Oh…Don't blame yourself. You didn't know how else to react to my 'loving' Carly. You didn't know I was just trying to make you jealous. And, apparently, it worked." He reassured me taking my hand in his. "So, in a way, it is my fault, also." I was comforted, but deep down; I knew it really was my fault for being such a jerk to him. And, to everyone else, too.
Carly was at her desk when we came into class. I sat behind her in my usual seat. Freddie was off to my side. She nodded her head to him when he sat down but otherwise, didn't acknowledge anyone's existence. Not even her own. When Miss Briggs called her name for attendance, she said nothing. So, in a way, she acted like she wasn't there, either.
At lunch, we sat at our usual seats, but she didn't say anything. She didn't eat anything. She didn't do anything. At all. "Freddie, I think you should at least try to talk to her."
"If you say so." Well, don't answer me out loud, genius. Everyone already thinks you're psychotic!
"What was that, Freddie?" Carly asked tiredly.
"Oh…Nothing…Just talking to myself." She smiled sadly. "Carly, do you really blame yourself for this? 'Cause if you do, you shouldn't. It's not your fault."
She looked up at him questioningly like she expected him to understand but knew in her heart only she did. "How is it not? I wished she would get out of everyone's hair. And, look, she is. But, that's not what I wanted. Sometimes, your thoughts and wishes when said out loud can be worse than a knife or a gun when it comes to getting rid of someone. No one believes me. No one thinks it's possible. But, no one has had it happen to them. Sam is gone. I wanted her gone. At least, when I said it, I did. But, it only took that amount of time for her to disappear. It only took one wish. My wish." She glared at him, but the expression wasn't filled with anger at him. It was filled with grief and fury at her own deeds. "And, you're trying to tell me, it wasn't my fault! Well, it was!" She couldn't speak another word after that.
"Sam wouldn't want you to think that," Freddie stated coldly as he picked up his tray and left.
"It's true," I whispered even though I knew no one would hear.
A/N: My longest (and most descriptive) chapter yet. I'm pretty proud of it. Again, please respond to the length of the wait before the next star in a review or in my poll. Also, R & R. Hasta luego, SheriffBoB.