Chapter Eight

Ax's POV

I woke up with a start.

Eyes snapped open. Stalk eyes twisting, wary.

Where was I?

It took a moment for the shock to hit.

I had moved! I myself. I, separate and apart, no longer within the creature who called himself the One.

And an exhausted human girl was asleep beside me, one dark arm splayed limply across my chest.

(Cassie?) I asked softly, placing a hand on her pale face.

The images that assaulted me from her mind caused me to jerk back in surprise.

Sensing his inward pain, I take his now-human hand in mine, squeezing it gently, trying to transmit encouragement to him.

Though in the darkness, I cannot not see his face, I feel his appreciation flowing into me, like water in a burbling stream.

I smile. His hand feels so nice, so warm...

No! Bad thoughts. Don't think that away. You can't afford to love him.

But I do.

I want to be with him, for him to be at my side always, silent shield.

I need him.

Oh, God...

I love him.

I stumbled back, too numb to do anything else but stare. The sudden movement startled Cassie, for she awoke, blinking her eyes sleepily. "Ax?" she asked groggily.

(I am here,) I assured her cautiously.

She yawned and stretched, climbing out of the transformed sleeping area. "Are you okay? You must be stiff," she noted concernedly. "That was no way for an Andalite to sleep."

(I am undamaged,) I replied in the same cautious tone.

She nodded, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "Okay. Okay, yeah, that's good."

(Cassie,) I began, unsure. (I... believe you have some explaining to do.)

Her expression darkened considerably. "Um, yeah, I guess you're right." She regarded me helplessly. "Where do you want me to start?"
(I suppose the beginning is the logical place.)

She smacked her head lightly in the obviousness of my statement. I quickly grabbed her hand and snatched it away, then released it, disturbed by the things I had felt during the brief contact.

She looked at me strangely. "What was that for?" she asked, confused.

I shook my head. (Do not... do not do that again,) I requested, puzzled with myself.

She shrugged. "Okay. No head-smacking. Got it."

I didn't hear her.

What was happening to me?

How could I feel her emotions, her thoughts, by being in simple contact with her?

Andalites could sometime broadcast intense feeling with others, display pictures in one's mind, but I had never mastered that ability.

And Cassie was human.

So how had this happened?

A slight frown had twisted Cassie's expression. "All right. The beginning."

I didn't reply, too confused by the sudden turn of events.

"Uh... okay, the Ellimist came to me," she began hesitantly.

Slowly at first, then in a sudden rush of words, her story came out. All the pain, the grief, the choices she had had to make, the severing of

relationships, the utter hopelessness she had felt all came tumbling out so fast she tripped over her own words.

I listened with a dawning horror, realizing without having to ask that she had done this all for me.

Me. Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill. The alien. The outsider.

Why did she care so much?

Her race of words came to an overwhelming crescendo. Unexpectedly, she reached for my hands, squeezing them hard, harder, until the pressure became painful. I didn't dare flinch, though. She needed this.

She needed me.

Hesitantly, I felt my own much smaller hand begin to squeeze back with all the slight power of an Andalite arm.

In response, she collapsed against me, sobbing. Confused, I placed my arms around her as I had the night before, knowing only that this brought her comfort.

And that I had seen Jake make the same movement a million times in the past.

Startled by that revelation, I jerked back and began to tremble uncontrollably. What was wrong with me?

What was happening to me?

"Ax?" Cassie whispered, not understanding, just seeing that her only source of comfort had been cruelly ripped from her.

Once again, I didn't respond. I couldn't.

(What is happening?) I half-whispered, not expecting an answer. (Why do I feel so strange?)

She put an arm on my shoulder and I stumbled back, frightened by what sensations the contact brought me.

(Do not touch me,) I requested softly.

Her puzzled and hurt expression tore at my hearts. "Why not? Are you hurt?"

I shook my head mutely.

"Then what?" she asked, her concern almost palpable.

Something in her expression told me that something was terribly wrong.

(Cassie… what have you not told me?)

Her face paled noticeably. "What are you talking about?"

I moved closer, certain now. (You have hidden something from me. What is it?)

She stepped back. "I-I don't understand."

There was nothing that seemed to make sense in this situation. Unless…

My hearts stopped.

No! It couldn't be!

(Cassie… is it… a bond?) I asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

She blinked. "Yes," she answered miserably. "How did you know?"

(I… It reminds me almost of the one I had with my brother.)

Her eyes widened. "What? Are you saying that you've felt this before?"

(Yes,) I said, bewildered.

She stood up to her full height, which, while not very impressive, was enough to force me to move back a step. Then shocking me utterly, she punched my hard in the chest.

(Oof! Cassie, what was that for?)

"You bastard," she said acidly. "Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you stop it?!"

She savagely struck my face, and then again in the chest. And she kept doing it, until finally I fought past the numbness of shock and in a sudden movement pressed my tail against her throat.

(Cassie! You will cease!)

She fell back onto the bed facedown, sobbing uncontrollably now. "Why? Why didn't you figure it out? Oh, God, Ax, why?"

I hesitated briefly, then carefully put a small hand on her shoulder. (Cassie, what is wrong? What have I done to you?)

She turned over, brushing my hand away. "Tell me about Andalite mental bonds. Tell me everything. Tell me now," she said, a little more calmly.

I blinked at the suddenness, then said, (They usually form between two people who have become very close, or are of the same blood, as my brother and I were. Between two males, this creates an intense friendship. I believe Mertil and Gafinilan shared this. Between male and female…) Had I been human I might have cleared my throat. As it was, I felt a slight flush creep up my cheeks. (Between male and female, such a bond usually results in… in a romantic relationship,) I finished weakly.

Cassie was frowning. "And you can't fight it? You have no choice in the matter?"

(No.)

"Dang it." I saw her face turn slightly red. "So, I guess we… I mean, it's not like… Oh, man, how did this thing even start? We weren't so close!" she exclaimed desperately.

I lowered my stalk eyes in shame. (I believe that this is my fault.)

"Besides the fact that your telepathy formed this bond in the first place," Cassie said dryly, "what do you mean?"

(Being alone among humans… I believe I needed the security of another mind within my own. You have no idea how apart your species is, how separate and alone you are. Andalites are not telepathic, but when I am among my own people, there is a sort of hum in my head, a song that all Andalites sing.) I paused. (Forgive me. I am becoming poetic. But what I am trying to say is that I felt the absence of that… song, and tried to replace it. Yours was the most receptive mind. I am sorry.)

To my surprise, her eyes softened slightly.

(I did not feel the bond forming, Cassie. The only other one I have had is with my brother, and that one was so faint I could barely feel it. But this one… Cassie, I am sorry! I do not mean to read your thoughts, but I cannot block them,) I blurted despairingly, knowing that she must hate me for this.

She looked at me, frowning. "You can read my mind?"

I nodded. (In a sense. The bond is mainly empathetic. I can feel your emotions, but not much else.)

She blanched visibly. "You mean you can feel everything I'm feeling right now?"

(No, no!) I hastened to reassure her. (I can only feel them when I am in physical contact with you. That is why I asked that you not touch me.)

The colour returned to her face, and she gripped my shoulders lightly, as not to hurt me again. "I… I think I understand now, Ax. I don't blame you, and I'm sorry for freaking out like that. It was just… just so unexpected. The Ellimist told me you didn't know the bond was forming; I don't know why I didn't believe him. I'm sorry."

(You… you don't mind?)

She shook her head, her now-long hair shaking back and forth, and smiled faintly. "No, I guess I never did. I was surprised, that's all." She began to massage my shoulders lightly.

Slowly, I felt myself begin to relax under her gentle ministrations. I hadn't realized how incredibly tense I had been.

I felt I had to say something. (Thank you, Cassie.)

"For what?" she asked.

(For accepting the bond,) …and me, I finished silently.

From the smile that crossed her face, she might have actually heard my silent message.

I believe she did.