A/N: **co-authored** by DaisyJane - at least I'd call it that. WAY more than a beta. You rock, DJ.
Very minor spoilers for 'Doomsday Sanction'
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. Song owned by Linkin Park. No copyright infringement is intended.
STALEMATE
I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
'Cause no one else cared
After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here?
Don't be afraid
I've taken my beating
I've shared what I've made
I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you
Forgetting all the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come
And save me from myself
I can't be who you are
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest
Forgetting all the hurt inside
You've learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come
And save me from myself
I can't be who you are
I can't be who you are
Leave out all the rest – Linkin Park
Diana materialized on the teleporter pad in the Watchtower to find several Leaguers that had arrived on the satellite just before her. Instinctively her chin lifted and her back straightened. She was determined to face the world the poise and dignity befitting an Amazon, regardless of the pain she felt. And she could not even begin describe the empty pain that she felt. She walked past her teammates and nodded politely but did not speak. Unfortunately for her, Superman was among the group. He watched intently as she stepped off the teleporter pad. She smiled faintly at him and walked toward the door, praying silently that he would let her leave alone and save any questions he had about her life for later.
No such luck. Superman's careful examination of her demeanor fairly guaranteed that she wouldn't escape easily. Despite her attempt to hide it, he took note of her slightly reddened and puffy eyes. Most wouldn't notice. However, for him, with his acute senses and the fact he knew her so well, he could easily read her emotions. He followed her out of the teleport center toward the elevators that would take her to Dormitory Deck A.
"Diana." His tone told her right away that he knew there was a problem.
She maintained her calm expression and continued walking, staring straight ahead. As she walked, she asked him gently, "Please Kal. Not right now. Can we talk later."
He nodded. He didn't know the details of course, but he knew where she had just been. Besides, he knew them both so well, a detailed explanation at that moment really wasn't necessary. "Ok. For now. Do you need to borrow my room? Will you be leaving again?" He felt sick at the thought of it.
She shook her head. "No, I don't think so. To both questions. I think I would like to stay with Donna in my room tonight. Tomorrow we'll go to New York and look for an apartment. I'm not leaving. At least not anytime soon." They stopped in front of the elevator and Diana turned to face him.
"Is there something I can do? Anything at all?"
"No Kal, but thank you. All I really want right now is to see my sister." She stepped inside the elevator, turned to face him, and offered a sad smile before the doors closed between them.
Thankfully, Diana was alone on the elevator. Stepping off, she walked slowly down the hallway. She had almost reached her room when another door opened. Shayera stepped out into the hallway. Diana closed her eyes briefly and braced herself. Shayera, like Kal, knew her too well. When she opened them, Shayera was standing right in front of her, face inches from her own.
"What did he do?" Shayera's eyes narrowed as she scowled.
Diana sighed. "Please, Shay. Later, I promise."
"Will you be leaving again?"
Diana paused briefly and looked at the ground for a moment before meeting her friend's gaze. "I don't think leaving is an option for me now, no matter what's happened." She turned and walked toward her room. Shayera fumed as she watched her walk away. Idiot Bat, she thought as her hand stroked the handle of her mace. After a few moments, Shayera sighed and turned in the opposite direction and headed toward the elevators.
As she approached, Diana noticed that the door to her room was standing open. She stepped inside to find Donna in a seated fetal position against the large bed crying her heart out. Diana turned and quietly closed the door behind her as the same tears started to stream down her own face. When she turned back, Donna threw her arms around her. Diana absorbed her warmth and comfort as Donna started speaking.
"Great Hera, I had no...no idea the love...love between you was so...so powerful. I'm so sorry, Diana. I felt it... your heart...heart breaking...the...the second you arrived on the Watchtower." Donna took a few deep breaths and regained her composure. "Since you got back, I've been trying to give you some privacy, emotionally speaking, by putting up the emotional and mental blocks like you taught me when I was young. And honestly, I'd rather not get a glimpse into any more of the dreams you two share. As Wally would say, total TMI." Diana gave a bark of laughter at this as she pulled away and sat like Donna had by the bed.
Donna joined her and the sisters sat shoulder to shoulder as Donna continued, "This..." she swallowed hard to control the wave of emotion. "This pain...it was too much. It broke right through. It must be giving J'onn a migraine trying to tune out our emotional backwash." Again Diana smiled a little appreciating Donna humor so much right now.
"What happened? Everything seemed right on track at dinner last night. Dick said he had never seen Bruce so happy...so content."
Diana closed her eyes as she remembered feeling the same way. Was that only last night, it seems like a hundred years ago, she thought miserably. She sighed and leaned a bit more against Donna while she went through the whole story. As she spoke, Diana allowed herself to unleash her grief knowing Donna would understand and just listen. Judgment didn't exist between these two sisters.
Diana choked when she started talking about Alexandra. "I..I can still feel the warm...warmth of her body against me," she sobbed. "And now...now I will never hold her." The empty space in her heart seemed to grow at the thought.
Donna wrapped her arms around her sister and rubbed her back as she cried trying to absorb as much off her pain as she could. "She is beautiful and very special," Donna said in a soothing voice.
Diana looked up at her, startled. "You've dreamed of her quite a few times," Donna said in explanation.
"But I don't remember..." Diana began, feeling a bit shocked.
"You may not remember but you did dream of her, enough so that I love her too," Donna said softly as a tear rolled down her cheek.
Diana wrapped her arms around her as they both mourned the loss. Then Diana continued talk about everything. By the time she finished and her sobs subsided, Diana was lying with her head in her sister's lap while Donna gently stroked her hair. She was emotionally drained.
"Well, I have to quote Tim here, that sucks?" Both laughed at Donna's gallows humor.
"Mother is going to faint at how quickly you are adapting to the ways of Man's World," Diana stated with watery smile.
"Diana, do you know what you want to do now? Don't rush things. You don't have to make any decisions yet…" Donna trailed off. She hoped, as did everyone else, that her sister wouldn't decide to leave again.
"I am not going back to Themyscira. To be honest, little moon, I need you near me right now and I can't ask you to leave. Besides the pain isn't going to go away no matter where I am, so I might as well stay here where I can do the most good. I think tomorrow I'd like to go look for an apartment in New York," Diana replied as she sat up and wiped her eyes. Donna responded by throwing her arms around her sister again.
"Oh I love New York. Dick and Wally took me sightseeing there the other day. By Hera, they took me to this diner in SoHo that had the best chocolate cake. Diana, why have you never brought me chocolate before? It is surely food created by the gods!"
Donna's enthusiasm helped cement in Diana's mind that she was making the right choice. The truth was that until this moment Diana really had no idea what she was supposed to do. The emptiness had settled in once again but she knew that even living in a virtual paradise wouldn't fill hole. After all that they had learned from Zatanna, she suspected that the pain she felt now wouldn't just fade over time if she returned home. It hadn't faded in the few weeks she had just spent there and there was even more reason to believe that it wouldn't fade now. She wanted to stay and Donna certainly wanted to stay. She would stay. She would be as close to him as he would let her be. Her soul would not allow anything different.
Very deliberately and purposefully, Donna steered their conversation to New York and specifically onto the topic of what neighborhood they should start their apartment search. Diana was grateful that her mother had given her a large amount of gold when she banished her from Themyscira. With Kal's help she had started a bank account and later Bruce had found her an asset manager that had done a good job of investing her money.
It wasn't long before the voice of Green Arrow, aka Star City billionaire Oliver Queen to some, interrupted over the intercom in their room that was tied into the main Watchtower communications system.
"Ummm. Wonder Woman?"
"Yes?" They both answered simultaneously. They smiled wryly at each other.
He chuckled. "J'onn asked me to contact you. There are two teams going to help evacuate civilians from the Gulf of Mexico coastline. A monster storm is developing and looks to be headed toward the Louisiana bayou. Can you go?"
"Yes," they both replied.
"Uh-ok. Should I tell J'onn you are both going?"
This time only Donna responded. "Yes, Arrow. We'll be at the teleporter in ten minutes."
Diana looked at Donna questioningly before directing her gaze to her uniform that was still lying where she had put it on the bed, right after she arrived. "We're both going?"
Donna smiled at her, "Yes. I think it's the perfect time to reveal my new Alfred Pennyworth original."
Diana and Donna spent the next several hours helping their teammates move entire apartment buildings of civilians to higher ground and transport pallets of sandbags to help stem the rising waters. As soon as everything appeared to be in hand and the populous was prepared to weather the storm, the hurricane shifted direction and began to quickly weaken. They were prepared for the flooding, which thankfully was to be significantly less severe than predicted.
The second team, which included Diana and Donna, were teleported up to the Watchtower from the gulf coast several minutes after the first team. The room was full of drenched and dripping Leaguers who had spent the last few hours in the soaking rains of a tropical storm. Watchtower crew members were circulating with towels and Donna grabbed two, handing one to Diana. Diana immediately noticed J'onn and Superman standing off to the side conversing quietly. As she dried herself and approached them, they both immediately stopped talking and looked at her with apprehension.
A sudden wave of uneasiness swept over her. She'd seen those looks on their faces before. The last time had been when J'onn told her that they were unable to reach Bruce after he had used a Javelin to direct a missile off-course from a direct hit on San Baquero. Something was very wrong.
~~Six hours earlier~~
Not long after Diana left, Bruce had thanked Zatanna and asked her to leave. Batman wouldn't tolerate much comforting. He needed to be alone. Although reluctant, Zatanna acquiesced. She made her way up to the manor saying something about Alfred's cooking and a late lunch. He wasn't sure. He wasn't really listening.
After that, he hadn't moved from his chair in the cave. He'd been sitting there for hours. Patrol couldn't come quickly enough. At least beating the daylights out of some thug had the potential to temporarily refocus his mind on something other than Diana.
He had tried to work, focus on open cases – on anything that would stop his constant thoughts of her. It didn't work. With each memory of her that invaded his mind, the gaping hole that had opened inside him when she left grew wider, deeper, and darker. He was quite familiar with both physical and emotional pain. Although, not usually at the same time. This felt like both and at the same time and there was a new pain he'd never felt before. Even with all his various training and vast strength of will he could not repress it.
Eventually, he turned his attention to the local, national, and global news reports. The prominent story was a monster of a storm that had developed very quickly in the Gulf of Mexico, prompting widespread panic and evacuations up and down the coast. He pulled the mission logs from the League server. Two teams had been sent to help with the evacuations. Diana was in New Orleans. He felt some small measure of relief that she was still here, mixed with the concern he had always felt when she was on a mission. He began to watch news reports from the city.
After nearly an hour, movement from behind him drew his attention away from the New Orleans news feeds. Bruce glanced at the clock. Six. Time for Alfred to be checking in before dinner. He wasn't ready to face him yet, but there was no way to avoid it.
"Excuse me, Master Bruce, is there something in particular you or Miss Diana would like for dinner?" The question came exactly as expected.
"No. She left." Bruce remained facing toward the monitors and continued to watch the news reports.
"Will she be returning this evening, sir?"
"No."
A pause. "If I may ask, what did you do?"
Bruce flinched at his reprimanding tone and the directness of his question. Alfred already knew she was gone. "What I had to," he replied with his back still turned.
"I have no doubt that you believe that. Bruce, if I may, had your parents known of what could happen to them, would it have been preferable for them not to have had you?"
Bruce finally turned to face him. His face expressed his shock at having been asked this question. "How do you –"
"Miss Zatanna had much more on her mind than a free meal when she came upstairs to find me after your discussion. Now, again, would it have been preferable for them not to have had you?"
Bruce looked away as he responded, "Maybe it would have been. There are times when I wish I had never been born."
A rare expression of anger briefly flashed across the older man's face before the typical stoicism returned. "And if that had been the case the world would probably be a wasteland over run by the Imperium. So let me ask the question another way. Had your parents known of what could happen to them, would they have chosen not to bring you into the world? Particularly if they had any sense of what you might mean to it? To Gotham?"
"Alfred…"
"They would have done whatever necessary to avoid what happened, but you, sir, would still have come to be," Alfred answered for him. "And yet, you choose to deprive the world of another miraculous being, very much like the one that left here heartbroken? Because of something that may or may not be? May or may not come to pass? Not to mention the fact – which you have apparently not considered or maybe you just don't care – that if you believe this theory of Miss Zatanna's and apparently you do, you are condemning yourself to living the consequences of your choices for the next forty years, perhaps. But for Miss Diana, you are most likely condemning her to the same pain for an eternity."
When Alfred finished his castigation, Bruce sat silently. His analytical mind had already considered these points, of course. However, hearing Alfred speak them out loud had a significantly stronger impact. He shuddered at the implied cruelty of his actions. Before Bruce could begin to formulate a reply, a call came from his League communicator.
"Watchtower to Batman." Kent.
"Batman here."
A pause.
"We just got word from Louisiana. There's a problem."
"What do you want from me? You can handle a hurricane on your own."
Another pause.
"It's not the hurricane. The communication came from Belle Reve. They were evacuating the prison. They lost some of them."
"What do you mean lost? Lost what?"
"Prisoner escape. Including Bane. It looks like he had backup on the outside waiting for the best opportunity to break him out and…"
As Superman was speaking, Bruce walked to the training room and found the wrench they had used earlier to test his strength. Next, he went to the infirmary and grabbed some bandages and gauze from a drawer. He carried everything back to his desk and tossed it down. After grabbing a razor-sharp batarang from a nearby table, he held a pointed edge to the back of his left forearm and drew it across his skin, creating a six-inch incision between his elbow and wrist. He ignored Alfred's quiet scrutiny of his actions.
"…he's been creating a path of destruction across the South, from the Louisiana bayou into Alabama. He seems to be heading northeast –"
"Toward Gotham," Bruce replied angrily. He began to bandage the wound loosely in gauze until Alfred took the gauze and wrapped it properly around Bruce's forearm, his continued irritation with his surrogate son still plain in his body language.
"It looks that way. He's apparently blown up several gas stations and robbed several banks. Four people are dead so far. Why wouldn't he just run?"
Bruce was having difficulty containing the anger that started building just after the call came in. Superman's last comment was enough to send him over the edge.
"Why do you think I wanted him in Gotham?" he roared. "How dare you interfere with that! He needed to stay here because I knew he would come after me again at his first opportunity. The closer I keep him to me, the less opportunity there is for collateral damage." Bruce paused to inhale deeply. "How long has he been loose?"
Another pause. Longer this time.
"HOW. LONG."
"Five hours."
"And why in the hell am I just hearing about this now?" he growled.
"We just found out. Prison communications were down because of the storm and with the evacuation, I don't think the Department of Corrections realized there were even prisoners missing at first."
"Corrections was moving them alone? Where was the National Guard? They weren't assisting? These are meta-human criminals. Why didn't they call the League for help?"
"The Guard is helping to evacuate civilians. As for us - I think the government wants to prove that this time they can handle it on their own and do it the right way. We sent two teams to help with the evacuation a couple of hours ago, unrequested…Diana is with them."
Bruce closed his eyes in irritation at the arrogant stupidity of government officials and Kent's attempt to elicit information. Experience with reporters and with Superman himself let Bruce surmise that the Kryptonian was aware that something had happened with Diana. He ignored the subtle attempt to elicit information. Now was not the time, if there ever would be.
"Fine. Now send teams after the other prisoners. I will handle Bane. My plane is still out of commission, so have a Javelin prepped for me. I will be up in ten minutes. And one more thing – when I get up there, stay out of my way. Batman out."
After terminating the connection, Bruce picked up the wrench that he had bent, then was straightened by Diana. Holding it by each end, he attempted to bend it again. It didn't budge. He sighed as he tossed it back onto the desk. He briefly met Alfred's gaze before he turned and walked to the changing room to put on the Batsuit.
Alfred followed close behind. "Excuse me, sir, is there a problem?"
"Bane escaped from Belle Reve." Bruce began the process of suiting up and transforming into Batman.
"And you are going after him? Alone, sir?" Alfred's typical placid expression was exchanged for one of concern. He saw past his charge's hard exterior, knowing that what lies below the surface was an entirely new kind of emotional turmoil. He needed the physical and emotional strength Diana gave him now more than ever. Unfortunately, he appeared to have lost every bit of both.
"Yes."
"Master Bruce, is that good idea? You're physical…capacities…seem significantly diminished."
"They are as they have always been."
"But sir –"
Bruce partially unwrapped the bandage on his arm. "No, Alfred," he said as he lifted up his arm, exposing the self-inflicted wound that still seeped with blood. "This is what I want. This blood is my own – mortal – blood. It tells me that now I can do this and know that she's not at risk. That is why I had to do what I did, no matter the pain." He rewrapped his arm and dressed.
He finished quickly and made his way to the teleporter. Alfred handed Batman a restocked utility belt. He fastened it around himself as he climbed the steps to the teleporter pad.
"I don't suppose it will do me any good to ask you to please take care?" It wasn't the first time Alfred had made this request of Bruce. For reasons he didn't quite understand, this time it sounded like a plea rather than a simple expression of concern.
Bruce stepped onto the pad, turned and looked down the steps at his surrogate father. "Thank you, Alfred," he replied, conveying affection in his expression, if not his words. He pulled the cowl down over his face and disappeared into the white light.
Thirty minutes later, Batman was piloting the Javelin into the Earth's atmosphere. Nobody had spoken to him during his brief time on the Watchtower. He was on the receiving end of several disappointed looks and a couple of hateful glares from the very few Leaguers who knew something about the situation with Diana and himself – or at least thought they knew something. Shayera stroked her mace and gave him a significant look before turning back to the screens in the monitor womb. Her reaction and the reactions of the others were what he expected. This was about Diana and they all loved her. That necessarily meant that he was a bastard. They weren't wrong but he had his reasons.
The crisis to some degree pushed everything else to the recesses of his mind, if not out of it. There had been several updates to Bane's activities since the initial call had come in from Superman. Four more bodies were found. Bane and his crew were definitely headed northeast and had passed through Birmingham, leaving chaos in their wake. Several deserted steel and iron factories had been set on fire and were causing significant trouble for local authorities as many still had remnants of the coal byproducts and other chemicals that had been used there while they were in operation.
Bane's crew had been well-outfitted in armored four-wheel drive Humvees and were traveling off the main highway. Much of their route was relatively rural country and the local police departments had been no match for their firepower. They ran right over them and kept going, stopping only to pick up what supplies they needed along the way, often leaving bodies behind. They were now moving somewhere along the Tennessee-North Carolina border, near the Blue Ridge Mountains.
Their final destination had really never been in question. There had been several reports of black bats spray-painted at various stops along their route. They were headed for Gotham. They were looking for him. Batman had no intention of allowing them to tear up the countryside to get there, so if Bane wanted him, that's what he would get. It would be sooner rather than later.
He did not, however believe that Bane's only objective was to track him down. This was an intelligent criminal. He would have an escape plan. Bane certainly must have had one that night at the docks, but an appearance by Superman was probably not part of any Plan B. Everyone knew – including the criminals – that Batman preferred to handle things in Gotham himself.
Entering the atmosphere was always preferable over water. It was safer as in the case of a catastrophic event with one of the shuttles, any debris would fall into the ocean. The storm had dictated the direction from which he would have to enter the area. His path was to drop in over the Middle Atlantic and cross over the eastern seaboard in an attempt to cut off Bane's faction.
After safely reaching the Atlantic, Batman set the flight plan and engaged the autopilot. He then pulled off the gauntlet on his left hand and unwrapped the bandage on his arm. The bleeding had stopped, but it had not begun to heal any faster than it would have two days ago. Satisfied that there was nothing left that would put Diana at risk if he didn't return from this mission, he replaced the bandage and gauntlet, then switched off the autopilot.
The last sighting of Bane had been just after he left the Watchtower. He came up on the Blue Ridge Mountains and dropped down lower to search for signs that Bane's crew had come through this way. He expected that they were skirting along the western edge of the ridge and he was coming in from the east. Utilizing all of the Javelin's alien technology, he scanned the dense mountainous terrain below.
As he passed over the crest of one of the larger mountains, the alarms on the Javelin began to go off. They had picked up an encampment along one of the ridge-lines that hadn't been detected sooner due to the masses of granite rock that made up a significant portion of this mountain range. As soon as the camp became visible, another high-pitched alarm went off signaling that a surface-to-air missile had locked on target.
Batman hit the eject button on the Javelin just before everything went black.