Chapter Thirteen – Cara

A Hidden Desire

"Cara!" Minerva's voice had me spinning around from the doorway – the entrance to Rose's office – that I was about to enter.

"Minerva?" I asked, smiling. "Good afternoon. I was just fetching Rose. She missed lunch."

"I know she missed lunch," Minerva replied with a roll of her eyes. "I was just trying to tell you that she is down at the Quidditch pitch with Severus."

"Oh," I replied, a little shocked. "Well, that's peculiar. She would normally come to me-"

"I think this was more of a Rose-and-Severus thing, if you catch my drift, dear," Minerva said, raising her eyebrows as if this was significant.

I really didn't catch her drift, but I smiled and nodded. "Well, I'll just go and check she hasn't forgotten the time, then."

She smiled. "Be sure to do it subtly, Cara." Then she turned away and walked on. I frowned at her retreating back, a little confused by the (insane) professor, but decided to go on with my original plan and made my way downstairs.

I smiled at the students who greeted me, nodding to some of the older ones and the professors. Remus was chatting with a couple of students down the hall and waved at me, but I blew him a kiss and went on without stopping. I reached the Entrance Hall and made my way across it, opening the large doors and smiling at the late summer air as it hit my face. As I walked across the grass, I found my thoughts drifting to Buckbeak.

The creature had its hearing in just a few short weeks. It was a rush because of Lucius Malfoy's influence, and it would be a rush to get the case in order, but I knew we could save him. We had to. We would.

As I approached the pitch, I saw two people flying down to the ground, clearly laughing. After the landed, dropping the broomsticks, they turned to each other, talking animatedly. Rose's curly hair covered her face, and Severus tentatively reached out a hand brushed it back. I froze, staring at them, as Severus left his hand there, watching her intently. She stared at him, completely still. He said something – I saw his lips move but I couldn't make out the words – and she whispered something back. He smiled and said something more. She didn't reply.

Slowly, he dipped his head forwards, moving to kiss her, but she suddenly unfroze and pulled back. She spoke, and this time her words carried to me, sounding tearful (Rose had never handled emotion well).

"I'm sorry, Severus. I can't do this – to you or to Sirius. I'm sorry." With that, she turned, running away without a look back.

I stood, frozen as she ran up to the castle, not seeing me there. Severus watched her go and then his eyes found mine. I walked forwards slowly.

As I reached him, Severus ducked down and lifted the two broomsticks. Brusquely, he thrust them into my hands and said, "I borrowed yours. I hope you don't mind. The other one is your sister's. I shall see you at dinner, professor."

"Severus!" I yelled at his back, but he ignored me and stormed away.

What the hell had I just witnessed?

I'd think about it later. Rose would need me now. I hurried up to the castle, my mind still reeling with the strange scene. I wasn't certain if what I had seen was real at all – could I trust my eyes? Had Severus Snape tried to kiss my sister? Really?

I shouldered the door open to find Lizzie and George kissing in the middle of the hall. I rolled my eyes and cleared my throat loudly and the crowd – a crowd had gathered around the two, cheering them on (how immature) – parted. Liz pulled away from the red-haired boy and looked slightly horrified at seeing me there.

"What is it today? Is there some kind of kissing epidemic going on?" I sighed. "Well, Weasley, you hurt my niece, I break your face – whether you're a student or not. Got it?"

"Yes, ma'am," he replied smartly.

I nodded. "Get Rose's permission or I'll eviscerate you. And choose a more private setting in future. Ah, well, I have places to be and people to see. As you were."

"Aunt Cara," Liz said, bringing me to a stop. "If you're looking for Mum, she ran through her a few minutes ago, took one look at us and burst into tears. She went upstairs, I think."

"Oh, dear," I said, sighing. "It's worse than I thought."

"Aunt Cara, what's happened?" she asked.

I shook my head. "It's your Mother's usual hysterics over nothing," I replied. "You know how she gets." Liz nodded. "Go back to kissing. Before you know it, you'll have children and they hate it when you kiss in front of them."

"Aunt Cara!"

I grinned at her and hurried up the stairs. I glanced back and saw George grab Lizzie and plant another kiss on her lips. I could have sworn I heard him say, "Let's not have kids yet, then. I haven't got enough of kissing you yet."

I smiled. They reminded me of Rose and Sirius at that age. Sirius had taken every opportunity he could to make a joke, and Liz was just so Rose – everything about Liz was the same as her Mother. Well, except the house, but I figured Rose could do just as well in Slytherin, if she hadn't hated it so much.

The reason Elizabeth was in Slytherin was less because she wasn't as brave as her Mother and more because she simply knew how to use it. Lizzie would be brave when there was a chance for her to survive being brave. Rose was just an idiot with her bravery and did it whenever.

Although I didn't doubt that Lizzie would stand up for her family even if there wasn't a chance for her to survive. She was as selfless as Rose. I would have the night Rose left us to return to Tom carved into my soul, and she did it simply to save us from him.

Idiot child. Although she was no longer a child.

I reached Rose's office and knocked twice. No answer, but I could hear Rose stifle her sobs. I rolled my eyes and tried the door. Locked.

"Rose! Rose White open this door!" Oh crap. "I meant Rose Black, but you acting like this reminds me of you being a child. OPEN UP!"

"Go away, Cara!"

"I saw you, Rose," I said. She became deathly silent. "I saw you. Now open this door."

The door came open with a click. I walked in, shutting it behind me, and made my way over to her where she sat. She didn't look at me as I handed her a tissue and said, "Clean yourself up, stop crying, and start talking madam. I want to know everything."

She sobbed, choked on it trying to stop it, hiccoughed and wiped her eyes. "Alright, fine." She sniffed and said, "Well, it all started with a conversation. I… I won't tell you everything, but it was about the woman he loved dying and about Sirius being imprisoned."

"Who did he-"

"No, no way am I telling you that. It's private." She smiled at my irritated expression. "Well, then I decided it was way too serious, so I convinced him to go flying with me. We had fun flying – we spent ages up there – and then we landed and… Well, I dropped the brooms and we were laughing, and there was hair in my face…" She stopped and sighed. "He brushed it out of my eyes and left his hand on my face, and then said, 'If I kiss you, will you hit me?' I replied, "Probably." And he said…"

"And he said?" I demanded.

"'I think it's worth the risk.' Then he tried to kiss me and I pulled away."

I nodded, saying, "I saw the rest. But what I don't understand is why you did it?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, looking up at me with red eyes.

"Why did you pull away?" When she just stared at me, I elaborated. "It can't have been for Sirius. I mean, you haven't seen him in twelve years. You haven't had any sex in twelve years, either, so you must be getting desperate-"

"Cara!" she protested loudly, her face flaming bright red. As I laughed, her eyes glinted mischievously and she added, "Well, I would be, if I hadn't been sleeping with Remus for that long."

I choked on my laughter. "What!"

She laughed uproariously at my expense. "Oh, your face!" I glared at her. "Merlin's beard, Cara, you can't honestly think we would ever – oh, Merlin, that's far too funny for words."

"Good to see you've cheered up," I said peevishly. "Now answer the question."

She sighed, but did as I asked (okay, ordered). "Well, because – I still love Sirius. It wouldn't be fair to Severus if I was just doing it to… to get back at Sirius, in a way. I'd be using him. And besides, Severus is my friend. I don't-"

"Yes, you do," I said, suddenly seeing. "You do care about him, Rose. But you know he's still in love with that woman and you're still in love with Sirius…"

"It wouldn't be fair to either of us," she agreed softly. "Besides, I'm a dirty Gryffindor. Remember?"

I chuckled at that, but looked at her sadly. "Rose, Sirius is never coming back."

"That's not true," she said quickly. Then she shook her head, disgusted. "Merlin, I know he's not, Ca. I just… I can't let him go. He's my husband and he'll be my husband until my dying day. I love him. He was the first man I loved and he will remain the only man I love. If I got with Severus it would be a fling to try and move on, but I know I cannot, and I cannot be unfaithful to my husband. I'm sorry, Ca. Whether I ever see him again, whether I have to kill him to save Harry, whether I have to hand him back to the Dementors, I know I will always love him. And that's my final word."

I sat back and frowned, unhappily. I had a bad feeling, and Rose didn't seem entirely happy with her choice.

Well, I would just have to sit back and wait. What would happen, would happen, with or without my interference.