Title: Mandatory Crew Lecture
Author: Elaiel
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None
Word Count: 250-ish
Summary: The mandatory crew lecture - drabble
Characters: TJ, Young, practically all the crew
Author's Notes: Am I the only person that this occurred to? Happens shortly after the first episode or two of series one!
Disclaimer: I don't own SGU, not mine, just borrowing, yada yada yada.
TJ stood in the Gateroom, with the assembled crew there. She ran her eye across the audience. Everyone except for the duty staff who she'd already spoken to in a group and not surprisingly Rush who she figured probably wouldn't need this lecture for one reason or another.
She'd set up folded blankets for people to sit on, stolen from empty cabins, in arcs from where she stood. Colonel Young moved up to stand next to her.
"Right people, at ease, make your selves comfortable." Young instructed. "This has been designated a mandatory crew lecture."
There was shuffling and people sat down, murmuring.
TJ grinned and took over.
"I'd like to reassure you first of all, that as military personnel or employees, you've all been given a clean bill of health on a regular basis for quite some time, with the exception of Eli, who for other reasons has also been given a clean bill of health for a significant period of time, so you probably have little to worry about in the infections and inconvenient illnesses front."
Young looked at the sea of confused faces in front of him.
"I'm not stupid enough to think that military personnel or civilian there isn't going to be fraternising going on, we're stuck out here for the foreseeable future, so I've asked TJ to give you this lecture."
There was mumbling, sniggering and general noise around the room. Greer wolf-whistled. TJ waited for the noise to subside.
"However," she said, "unless you can avoid getting to third base, learn to count, abstain or a combination of the three, we're going to have an unexpected and inconvenient population explosion here. Ladies and gentlemen we are all out of birth control."