Oaky as I said in the last chaper this fict began from my obsessiona with Eva wich led to me rewritting several scenes. That has now lead to this. If you guys want more just review and ask I have more to write!
No, I don't own Eva it belongs to gainax.
That's all folks.
The Girl in White Bandages: The True Confessions of Ayanami Rei
The world of Evangelion through the eyes of the enigmatic Rei Ayanami, with my own twists of course . . .
Ch. 1 That's Great It Starts With . . .
I had been sleeping peacefully for the first time since the accident when a nurse came in and woke me up. She apologized but said the Commander wished to speak to me immediately. She pressed a button on the computer next to my bed and a voice only link was opened. "The third child is a failure. You will pilot Eva again." He said.
I replied in the affirmative. I had been prepared for this news and I was secretly glad it had happened this way. I had been afraid that the commander would abandon me, consider me worthless. I knew I wasn't much more than a bandaged husk at the moment, no one with a shred of sanity could deny it, but I was still alive and that's all that mattered. As long as I was alive and the Commander still had faith in me I would do it again. No matter what the costs or the risks I was prepared to accept them all.
As the nurses rolled me down the hallway to the Eva I watched the florescent lights on the ceiling roll by with my one good eye. Around me the nurse's voices buzzed. Some stating my physical statistics others saying what a shame it was that I was going to attempt to fight the angel when I was in such a bad state. I paid no attention to them. Their words meant nothing to me. I was concerned with more important things. The commander had faith in me and I wasn't going to betray it so I'd have to be ready.
As I was rolled on to the bridge in front of Unit One, I could see Commander Ikari on the big screen to one side and Captain Katsuragi with a boy about my age farther down in front of the purple unit's head. As I neared the boy's eyes got wide and he looked up at the commander, then me then the commander again. "Father is this Rei?" The boy demanded.
So this was the son of Commander Ikari. Was he the one who was supposed to be third child? If he was, he was terrified and didn't look like he wanted to do it. That would explain what was meant by failure. The Commander replied. "That is correct, Shinji."
"But father . . ."
The Commander ignored him, instead turning to look at me. "Rei, it is time."
"Yes, sir."
I placed my good arm under me and turned my body so I was on my hands and needs. Slowly I tried to position myself that I could slide off the bed. An explosion rocked Nerv knocking my bed out from under me. I hit the floor hard and pain raced through my body. I lay on my back for several moments breathing deeply the pain nearly overwhelming. At first I thought I couldn't move but; the pain began to subside. As it wore off I seized the side of my bed with my good arm. Using it as an anchor I pulled myself to my feet. I was breathing hard from the effort and vertigo had begun to smear my sight. Focusing with all my might I placed one foot in front of the other. Slowly I began to cross the distance to the stairs that led to the entry plug of the Eva. I could feel the blood running down my arm and dripping onto the floor but I ignored it. As I climbed the stairs the shock waves of another explosion hit Nerv sending me tumbling down. With each impact the pain gripped me stronger. Eventually I lay helpless at the bottom. This time the pain wasn't going away. It had completely engulfed me. I couldn't move. The next thing I knew Ikari-kun was cradling my broken form in his arms. It felt warm, comforting and somehow gave me some new strength. I felt more relaxed and at ease then I could ever remember feeling. Slowly I felt my pain beginning to ebb away. I was still in pain but I was no longer grimacing consumed by it. The boy picked me up off the floor and turned like he was going to put me back on the bed. I had to stop him. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and through the pain I focused all my energy into one word, "Eva . . ."
Ikari-kun looked at me for a moment before protesting, "But, Rei . . ."
"Eva . . ." I pleaded.
I couldn't let him put me back on the bed. The Eva needed a pilot and I needed to pilot. There was no other way about it. "Rei, that's enough. The boy can do it." The Commander said
"No. I'm the first child . . . it's my job to fight the angels." I insisted.
"Fine. Do it."
Hesitantly Shinji turned and ascended the stairs with me in his arms. I breathed a sigh of relief. I wouldn't be denied after all. Once at the top he cautiously stepped into the entry plug and crossed it. Gingerly he set me down in the pilot's seat and stepped out. Clutching my bad arm to my chest like a broken wing I waited for the entry plug to fill with LCL. I heard a muffled thump then the bang of the door closing behind me. I noted that it sounded unusual but I thought nothing of it at the time. LCL rushed in and climbed up around my ankles, filling the plug. Lights flashed as synchronization was established. The connection process went perfectly and I had synchronization with the Eva. It felt heavy and colossal around me. I had to remind myself to breathe and remain calm. In the back ground I could feel her there. She was like a cold hand wrapped around me. She was the reason I couldn't pilot unit one as well as unit zero. She didn't like me one iota but she had let me in. Why? Why, Yui? At first I received no answer from my companion but suddenly an image of the commander's son came to mind. It was Shinji Ikari. So you accept me in order to protect him, interesting. Very well. I wouldn't protest.
"What's her sync ratio?"
"It's holding steady at 37."
"That's her best ever. I just hope it's enough. Arm her with two progressive knives. We need her to be able to stay on her feet and the guns would weigh her down."
The Eva went smoothly to the launching platform. I lay back in the seat breathing deeply and trying to relax. "Rei, you okay in there?" Asked Captain Katsuragi.
"Yes."
"Evangelion Unit One, lift off!" She cried.
The Eva lurched and shot off towards the surface. I was forced foreword by the extreme force becoming completely doubled over. A nauseating sickness rose in me and I struggled not to vomit. With a final hard jerk we reached the top. A took a couple deep breaths to settle my stomach and keep myself from throwing up the little it contained. The world stopped spinning and I was able to look around. A storm was moving in so it was dark and hard to see. It took me several seconds to spot my target. He was standing on a hill on the far side of Tokyo III staring right at me. I knew right them that we had been spotted. I took a deep breath and waited to see what the angel would do. I was slightly nervous because I wasn't heavily armed. They figured I'd be better off if I was light on my feet and able to dodge the enemy quickly. My only available weapon was two progressive knives, one stored in each shoulder. It didn't take long for an answer as the angel wasted no time in mounting his assault. He spread his AT field wide and charged right at me. I drew my progressive knife and spread unit one's AT field in response. He wasn't getting past me, I declared silently to myself. This was the moment I had been training for.
With tremendous force our AT fields crashed into each other; I tried to force my progressive knife through it's AT field but that was proving to be a difficult task. Suddenly two ball of light appeared in the angels empty eye sockets. I tried to pull back but it was too late. Seconds later a blinding flash of pain smeared my vision as the angel blasted me in the face. I screamed and stumbled backwards trying to clear my eyes. The angel took advantage of my momentary incapacitation to seize unit one by the head. More pain shot through me as he used the charged rod in his arm to ram unit one repeatedly in the head. Through the pain I managed to stab him with my progressive knife and kicked him away. I tired to get my bearings but vertigo smeared my vision making it nearly impossible. I managed to make two shaky steps before I lost it and the ground rose up to meet me.
Pilot has lost consciousness.
The angel is rapidly approaching.
Sir we need to get her out of there! She's is bleeding internally. She can't take anymore, sir!
Shinji slowly came to consciousness wondering what in the world had just happened to him. The last thing he could remember Ritsuko and come up as he was exiting the entry plug and sprayed something in his face and then he passed out. Now he didn't know where he was but it smelled sickly of blood. Somewhere in front of him he heard a woman scream, "Sir we need to get her out of there!"
Shinji opened his eyes. He was inside a giant pill shaped tube filled with a strange yellow orange liquid. Shinji panicked, thinking he would drown. After a moment it occurred to him that he was breathing fine before he noticed the liquid was there so it must be okay. Curiosity took old and he began to survey his surroundings. All around was what he believed was a realistic looking but cheesy looking movie about a giant monster attacking a city. He couldn't see the monster at the moment but judging by the damage it had to be nearby. He made his way towards the lone seat near the front of the giant contraption hoping to find a place to sit and watch the movie play out. He was to be sorely disappointed. Slumped in the seat was the unconscious form of the young Eva pilot, Rei Ayanami. Shinji nearly fainted in shock, he was inside the Eva and this wasn't a movie, it was real. "Shit." He muttered under his breath.
Shinji looked up. The angel was now in sight and advancing quickly. What should he do? He didn't know how to pilot this thing. He looked down at the girl named Rei. She would know, he realized. He had to wake her up. In a desperate attempt get her attention Shinji shook Rei's shoulder calling "Hello? Hey, can you hear me?"
She didn't respond. Shinji was about to try again when he looked up and saw that the angel was getting dangerously close to them. He looked hurriedly around trying to find something to get them out of there but all he found was a com button and an extra head band like the one Rei was wearing. In a last ditch of hope he pressed the com button. "Hello? Can anybody hear me?" He called out.
"Shinji!" He heard Misato cry on the other end.
"What in the hell is going on here?" He demanded "What am I doing in the Eva?"
"I'm sorry Shinji, but I couldn't stop her. Rei's in bad shape and it was clear she wouldn't last long so she wanted to make sure you where in there to take over for her." Misato explained.
"Why me? Why can't someone else?"
"Because you're the only one here besides Rei that can pilot the Eva."
Shinji stared moodily in silence. He was not happy at all about being here. In fact this was the absolute last place in the galaxy he wanted to be right now. Yet, in a strange way it felt almost right like he was meant to be in this place right then. Shinji looked at the headband and asked it what in the hell he was doing. Stupid this is what idiots did. He must have lost his mind, he decided. He placed the transmitter band on his head knowing he'd hate himself for it in the morning. "What do I have to do, Misato?" He asked.
"One moment . . ." She said.
Shinji could hear Misato hand the set to someone and Ritsuko's voice came through. "Shinji can you hear me?" She asked.
"Yes."
"Then listen up. The Eva moves by responding to the mental thoughts and emotions of the pilot. So all you have to do is to think about and envision the action you want her to perform in your mind and she'll do it. Also you have two knives one should be currently in unit one's hand the other in your left shoulder. Got all that?"
"Yes. I copy."
"Good."
Shinji sat down in the pilot's chair, placing Rei limp form in his lap. "I'll help instruct you until you get the hang of it."
"Alright."
"Can you feel how the Eva is positioned on the ground? Envision yourself standing up from that position."
Shinji could indeed feel the position of the Eva, lying on its chest. He took a breath and tried to focus his mind on the image of himself standing up. Slowly he felt the Eva's massive form begin to rise to her feet. "Shinji spread your AT field!" Ritsuko yelled at him.
Shinji looked up in time to receive a blow to the face from the Angel. He cried out and stumbled backward. The angel seized him by the neck and threw him into a nearby building. The angel advanced in a slow methodical manner. Shinji struggled to get the Eva to her feet but she wasn't responding quickly. He stared in horror wondering what to do. In front of him he heard Rei groan softly as she began to stir.
As my conscience drifted back I could hear someone whimpering in fear. I opened my eye to see what was going on. I was greeted by the sight of the angel advancing on me. That was when I noticed it; I was sitting in someone's lap. I looked up to see Ikari-kun was there. He smiled weakly at me. Ikari-kun was sitting in the pilot seat with me on his lap. The first strange sounding closing of the door made sense now. It looked like I would have help after all. "Let's go." I said to him. "Follow my lead."
Ikari-kun nodded in agreement and placed his hand on my own. We directed unit one to rise to her feet and ready her progressive knife. "Charge!" We cried at the same time.
Unit one rushed foreword and we forced the knife into the angel's core. The core glowed red then went critical. Shinji grabbed me and held me close as everything exploded around us.
A pair of Nerv techs wrenched open the door to the entry plug. Misato appeared and forced herself between them in order to look inside. "Shinji, Rei!" She screamed.
Both children where completely unconscious. Shinji was slumped over the side of seat and his arms where still wrapped around Rei. Rei was leaning foreword her head nearly touching her knees and a small trail of blood tricked from her mouth. Misato turned and yelled back to the techs below. "Get me a medical team in her quick!" She hollered.
"Yes ma'am."
Consciousness returned at the worst possible time. I was awakened to the sensation of being suspended in the air by several pairs of hands. My head was pounding so hard I was sure it would explode and I felt so sick that I couldn't even start thinking about opening eyes. The shot of painkiller I'd been given earlier seemed to have worn off and everything seemed painfully real and there. I felt my broken arm begin to slide from where it lay across my stomach, but I didn't have enough will left to stop it. I cried out as the bones shifted painfully in my arm. I felt my stomach drop for half a second but it took forever for my head to quit spinning and my arm to stop reeling from the movement of broken bones. I was laid on something soft and solid by the hands. From somewhere nearby I heard Dr. Akagi voice say, "Get me another injection of morphine for her."
"But ma'am she's not due for another one for two hours."
"I know that but she clearly needs more. In fact mix it with something to knock her out for a little while."
Footsteps retreated and I heard Dr. Akagi approach. She leaned down next to me. "Congratulations. You're still alive."
I groaned as I was consumed by another wave of pain. Like I needed to know that. The pain was more then enough proof. I heard the footsteps return and the doctor rose to meet them. "Here's the shot ma'am and this is from Commander Ikari."
Dr. Akagi leaned over and began to swab my better arm with a wet cotton ball. She stuck the needle in my arm and the pain began to disappear until it became a surreal background feeling and the hazy call of sleep came. As I dozed off I heard Dr. Akagi talking to the Commander. "She's still alive sir but I'm afraid she's in rough shape. I'm going to have to reoperate on her right arm at the least. I believe some of the pins I put in yesterday have broken."
Great, more surgery. I had spent most of yesterday there after the incident with Unit Zero. I was not thrilled b the prospect of more.
"Right. I'll deactivate her card until the 29th. It's for the best. We need her to get better before she pilots again."
What? Keep me away from Eva until I was better? No they wouldn't . . .
As I felt sleep make it's final push to claim me I made a mental note to talk to Dr. Akagi about the pain medication and sleeping drugs she had been giving me. Despite what she said the combination had to be toxic. They left you feeling unfocused and fuzzy around the edges as well as nauseated. Yes, I would have to remember to talk to her . . .
Ritsuko stood silently in the glass filled observation room, staring at the form of Unit Zero below her. The orange unit was still largely encased in bakalite and it would be thirty-nine days before it could all be removed and the unit made ready for battle. That was perfect since its pilot would be ready in thirty-eight. It would seem she'd get a day of rest before she was back to work. Behind her Ritsuko heard the door open and the Commander enter. "How is the Unit Zero recovery going?"
"On schedule. She will be ready in thirty nine days as planed."
"Very good. Keep me updated on your progress."
"Yes. Sir."
Gendo turned to leave but much to her own horror, Ritsuko called out, "Are you going to visit Rei?"
"No."
"But you haven visited her since the battle. Aren't you going to see her?"
"I have no intentions of visiting Rei." He replied gruffly.
He turned and walked out the door leaving Ritsuko standing flabbergasted on the observation platform behind him.
I awoke to the sound of a heart monitor rhythmically beeping near me. I groaned and opened my eyes, wondering where I was. The blank white ceiling of Nerv medical sector greeted me. I knew right then where I was; lying in a bed somewhere with in the Nerv hospital where my day had started. From the corner of my eye I could see the afternoon sun coming through the window. I could no longer feel the restrictive plug suit around me so I must be wearing on of the green hospital gowns now. So I was no longer needed to pilot. I could feel a pang of sadness maybe even regret and jealousy that I was no longer useful but I knew I was in no shape for it. In fact I couldn't feel much of anything which told me that they had drugged me up on their strongest painkillers. Probably a good thing since my body was a wreck at the moment. Slowly my mind drifted back to what had happened. The first angel battle seemed more like a dream to me then reality at the moment but I could still feel Ikari-kun arms around me when the Angel's core exploded. He'd been trying to save me. Not that that was possible.
I heard the door open and Ikari-kun entered followed by Captain Katsuragi. I don't think either of them expected me to be awake yet. He looked slightly nervous about being here but the Captain pushed him in my direction. "Hi." He mumbled weakly.
"Hello." I replied.
"How are you feeling?"
"Fine."
"But . . . you're hurt so bad. . ." He stammered.
"Nerv has powerful painkillers to remove the pain. I can't feel a thing."
"I see, must be nice to not have to feel it. So how long are you here for?"
"Until Doctor Akagi tells me I may leave."
"Oh, you mean Ritsuko."
"Yes."
Ikari-kun took my good hand in his and lifted it from where it lay. "Ayanami . . ." he stammered
"Yes."
"I . . . I . . . I thought you were extremely brave today. You were willing to fight despite your injuries and all I could do was let you. I am such a coward. I should have stopped you and gone myself. You hurt even worse now because of me."
"I don't think you a coward. When you were needed you did what you had to do. I'm still alive because of you . . ."
I wanted to say more. To tell him how much he had helped me. How grateful I was that I hadn't died and returned as the third but I couldn't say any more. My voice had failed me. Ikari-kun squeezed my hand and a bolt of pain raced up my arm. I winced briefly but as it subsided I felt relieved. I could still feel after all. "Good bye Ayanami." Ikari-kun said.
"Good bye." I replied.
The pair of them then turned and slipped out the door. Moments later the nurses entered to wheel me down for more surgery. Ikari-kun and the Captain must have just missed them. As I was transported down the hall I passed Ikari-kun and the Captain. He looked surprised to see me and turned around so he could watch my passage down the hall. A few doors down The Commander stepped out. He asked me how I was doing and I told him I felt fine. It was a lie though; I couldn't feel anything at the moment. He didn't seem care through; the Commander just nodded and accompanied me down the hall. They placed a mask full of sleeping gas on my face and left me in a waiting room. I dozed off before anyone came to get me.
For the next three days I was confined to my hospital bed. To weak to walk I spent most of my time occupied with the small collection of books, anime and manga Dr. Akagi had left me with. However they mostly didn't interest me so I was bored quickly. Oh, and of course there was a t.v. It didn't get many channels though. Can I take this moment to add in that afternoon soaps suck. I had no visitors either so I was mostly left to my own devices. No that there where many since I was in such bad shape. Late in the afternoon, four days since the Eva battle, Ikari-kun showed up unexpectedly. It was a wet afternoon and he had come in out of breath and dripping wet with rainwater. "I came to see how you were doing, Ayanami." He explained shyly.
"I'm feeling much improved but it will be another thirty five days before I can return to active pilot status." I replied.
"I see. Then they won't need me much longer. After that my father won't need me anymore and I'll be able to leave."
"But Eva will have no pilot if you leave."
Shinji looked frantic, and panicky. He backed away slowly from me and his hand wrapped around the door. "What are you talking about? Are you trying to tell me there are more Evangelion units than that one! How many more are there?"
"There are three. I am designated pilot of unit zero but she is in repair and unusable after the failed activation experiment five days ago. Then there is unit two but she is in Germany with the second child right now."
"And what about unit one?"
"She has no pilot. She rejects Pilot Sohyu-san, the second child, completely and I am not able to pilot her as effectively as unit zero. I am only a substitute plot until a proper one who can use her full potential is found. "
Ikari-kun groaned and I knew at the moment that he realized he was trapped, bound to Eva. He looked over at me with a pleading look like he wished I would recant what I had said. "It's me. Isn't it? I'm the third child. Pilot of unit one"
"Yes you are."
Shinji turned and stared out the window unable to look at me anymore. He seemed lost in thought and didn't speak for the longest time. Suddenly he turned and looked me in the eyes, "Ayanami," He asked slowly "When did you become a pilot?"
"About four years ago by now."
"Why did you agree?"
I had to consider this question for a moment before I answered. Why had I become an Eva pilot? I had been created, so from the beginning I had had nothing. Becoming an Eva pilot had been the only thing and the best option I had. It was a way to prove who I was and give myself an identity. "Because I have nothing else."
"What happened to all of them? You family and friends I mean, don't you have any one who would be saddened if you died?
"No. I can't remember. . . I don't think I ever had anything to begin with . . ."
"That's so sad. Everyone should have someone who cares about them. Especially you. Since you have such a dangerous job."
Shinji starred at me intently as if he was trying to get the importance of his message through. While I had to agree I didn't think it was as meaningful as he did. Unexpectedly his eyes lit up. "Rei? Can I write on your cast?" He asked.
I was surprised by such an odd request but it wasn't unreasonable so I agreed. No one had ever asked to write on my cast before. Shinji pulled a back marker from his pocket and removed the cap. In careful handwriting he scribed, Get well soon, Rei. Shinji Ikari.
When he was done he blushed and stuffedthe penquickly in his pocket. I ran my finger gently of the inscription in wonder. Someone cared.
I touched the inscription on my cast. I wasn't quite sure what I thought about the younger Ikari. At first glance he seemed to be a scared boy with no backbone but a second look seemed to say different. He'd tried to shield me from the blast of the angel's core and he'd even checked up on me several times since the battle. Kind and compassionate or weak and scared? I still wasn't sure what to think of him but I hoped he'd stick around so I'd have time to figure it out.
So how was that one. Trust me it breaks with the series even more later on. Well unitl then oh and don't forget to review