Thank you to my super speedy ninja beta...cdunbar...comma wrangler extraordinaire ;-)

To PurdueLiz for sharing a brain with me...check out our collab for some Christmas fluff...also check out her story More than a Memory, if you haven't already.

EclipseoftheTwilightMoon...what can I say to my fan club president except...I love ya BB...now let's get Edward to the Lake already.....LOL

HAPPY HOLIDAYS to everyone who reads this....I'll try not to take so long next time....MWAH!

Disclaimer: It's not mine.

CHAPTER 9

Leaving on a Jet Plane

BPOV

I was standing by the security gates that led to the departure lounge for my flight to Chicago. Tears flowed freely down my face as I rubbed the back of a sobbing Alice, who had wrapped herself around me in a fiercely tight embrace.

"I…*hiccup*…don't want…*hiccup*…you to go!" she wailed in to my shoulder as the third and final boarding call for my flight was made over the impersonal loudspeaker system.

I glanced pleadingly at Jasper, who was standing behind Alice, looking for all the world like his heart was breaking simply because Alice was so distraught. He answered my silent appeal by gently removing her arms from around my waist and whispering soothingly in her ear.

"Come on, baby. You have to let Bella go. She's going to miss her flight," he cooed.

His words brought on a fresh set of tears from Alice as she threw herself into his arms and cried into his chest while he stroked her hair. The pained expression on his face made me feel even worse about this whole idea.

I knew this was going to be difficult, but necessary for Alice and me, but now it seemed that I was inadvertently hurting others with my departure.

I tried to compose myself as much as I could, wiping the tears from my cheeks with my hands and taking a couple of deep breaths before throwing an apologetic look toward Jasper. He simply nodded once as we both turned our attention back to Alice.

"Alice, honey. Look at me," I said softly, placing my hand on her shoulder in an attempt to loosen her grip on Jasper.

Slowly she turned toward me. Her big, blue eyes were bloodshot and brimming with fresh tears and her breathing was erratic, making her take in gulps of air while her bottom lip quivered.

"Please don't cry." I leaned down so that we were eye level with one another as I brushed some stray hairs from her forehead. "We've been through this already, haven't we? You'll hardly notice I'm gone. We'll still talk to each other all the time, you'll see. We can call, text, e-mail, chat," I listed off the many forms of communication as Alice sucked in a deep breath, calming slightly.

"Promise?" she asked, her voice still shaky.

"Of course, silly." I gave her a watery smile, which she returned as she swiped away the tears that were now beginning to drip from her chin.

I opened my arms for one last, brief hug and the invitation was accepted by both Jasper and Alice, as they each wrapped an arm around my waist.

"Look out for her for me," I whispered to Jasper and he squeezed me tighter by way of reply.

"Have a safe trip, Bella," he said to the top of my head as I nodded and took a deep breath before releasing them both and taking a step back.

"Well, I guess this is it!" I forced what I hoped was an excited looking smile as I took a final look at the perfect couple and hitched my carry-on bag more securely onto my shoulder.

I lifted my hand in a small wave before turning around and waking determinedly to the x-ray conveyor belt and watching my bag disappearing through the tunnel. Beating down the urge to look back, I retrieved it from the other side and marched towards the departure gate.

Finding a seat in the lounge, I set my bag on the floor and tried to relax into the uncomfortable plastic, waiting with my fellow passengers until they began calling us by row number to actually board the plane. My head fell back onto the hard surface and my eyes closed as I allowed myself to ponder my reasons for this drastic change in my life.

The familiar bubble of panic began to rise in my chest as I considered all that I was leaving behind. I loved Seattle, I enjoyed my job, and most of all I loved Alice and was going to miss her terribly. I really wasn't ready to make such a permanent change, which was why all my belongings were in storage and not loaded onto a moving van at the moment.

I suppose I had always known that I would move back to Chicago eventually. After moving out of Renee's, it seemed like the obvious progression for me. I could have moved in with Charlie and maybe pursued my education there, once I had graduated from high school; however, once Alice had secured her place at UW I fell into a comfortable routine of working during the day and spending time with her in the evenings.

Consequently, the time to move was never 'right' and if I was honest with myself, I really didn't want to leave the comfort of everything I had known for so many years. Ultimately, leaving Seattle meant abandoning Alice and, after all that she and her family had done for me, that wasn't something I was ready or willing to do. Until now.

Things had changed over the past six months and I had realized that my reasons for staying in Seattle could just as easily become Alice's reasons for staying there too. There was no denying that Alice had an extraordinary talent when it came to fashion design and she had recently been approached by a number of fashion houses from all over the world. Each time she got a call or letter from New York, Paris, or Milan I would join in her excitement and encourage her to pursue whichever offer she found most appealing. I was genuinely thrilled and happy for her but every time the subject of leaving to follow her dreams came up, I could see sadness and fear in her eyes. Knowing the thought of leaving me behind would dampen her enthusiasm to the point of possibly rejecting the chance of a lifetime, I decided to make her choice easier for her.

Charlie had been bugging me to come for a visit for a while and I had missed him and the few friends I still had in Chicago, since I hadn't made it out there for a few years. When I realized how much vacation time my work owed me I began to think that now may be the perfect opportunity to reconnect with my dad and, at the same time, attempt to show Alice that it was entirely possible to maintain our close friendship even at a great distance.

When I first broached the idea with Alice, she was excited that I was finally going back to visit Charlie again and then upset when I told her I may not come back. I spent many an evening trying to convince her that we would still keep in touch and that this move would be best for both of us in the long run. Ever the optimist, she clung to the fact that I was not fully committed to a permanent change, as evidenced by my refusal to give my notice at work and the rental of the storage unit rather than the moving truck.

What I hadn't factored into the equation when I was making my plans was the possibility that Alice may find another, unrelated reason to stay in Seattle. Seeing her and Jasper together was like watching two halves joining to make a whole, and although they had only been dating for a short period of time, it was hard to imagine a time that they weren't together. I reasoned that I still needed to put some distance between us so that her decision to stay or go would not be influenced by me, at least. I was confident that Jasper had only her best interests at heart and would encourage her to follow whatever path she felt she needed to.

The other unexpected complication was Edward and my feelings towards him. From the first time I saw him at O'Flannigan's there was an undeniable physical attraction to him. He had caught my eye across the busy bar immediately and after being introduced, I had convinced myself that someone so impossibly gorgeous couldn't ever be attracted to anyone as relatively plain as me.

That train of thought had allowed me to function somewhat normally around him and we managed to have a really good time together. I had expected him to be arrogant or superficial, as was often the case with both men and women graced with such natural beauty, but I was pleasantly surprised that he was neither of those things.

Instead, I found him to be attentive, funny, and almost a little shy at times. He always seemed genuinely interested in anything I had to say and when he spoke of his family and his friendship with Jasper, there was a definite softness to him that suggested he loved them all very much. It was refreshing to talk to a guy who didn't feel it necessary to display a mask of bravado when he was in the presence of the opposite sex. I felt comfortable around him and that made it easy for me to show my more playful side, which was usually kept fairly well hidden until I got to know people better.

There was no doubt that we enjoyed each other's company but the idea that he could have feelings for me that ran deeper than friendship had not occurred to me initially and I took each day as it came, savoring our limited time together.

Reflecting back on the past two weeks, a number of emotions washed over me. First, there was happiness and a small smile pulled at my lips when I thought of all time we had spent together in Seattle sight-seeing, at my apartment packing, and in his room listening to music and watching movies. It seemed that my every waking moment since meeting him and leading up to my departure involved laughing, talking, or just relaxing with Edward.

He had quickly established himself as a constant in my life and as a result, thinking about him also brought on the sting of sadness. I had been preparing myself to leave Alice for months and through all of my assurances to her that we would remain in constant contact, I had begun to believe that the change in my situation wouldn't be completely unbearable. Edward and I, on the other hand, had never discussed whether or not our friendship would continue across the miles and so I was left with the very real possibility that the previous two weeks were likely the beginning and the end of our acquaintance.

The idea of never seeing or talking to him again hurt, probably more than it should, and I suddenly wished that I'd had the courage to raise the subject when I'd had the opportunity. I had been too wrapped up in simply being with him and was worried that talking about any kind of a future may ruin the mood or possibly send him running. I couldn't stand the thought of being responsible for any kind of awkwardness between us and so I left my concerns unvoiced, consoling myself with the knowledge that I would most likely hear about bits and pieces of his life through talking with Alice. As long as she was with Jasper, then Edward would at least remain in her life.

However, the overwhelming emotion that flooded my mind and my heart as I sat waiting for my row number to be called was confusion. While I had assumed early on that Edward and I were merely friends, there were times that his actions and even his words suggested otherwise. Occasionally I would catch him looking at me with such intensity it was almost unnerving, his clear green eyes would seem to be trying to convey a different meaning behind his words or he would reach out and touch my cheek or my hand with such tenderness that an outsider would have presumed we were lovers. But each time, as quickly as the moment began, it would be gone and we would resume our normal playful banter, acting as though nothing out of the ordinary had taken place.

I spent many a night mulling over what the day's events could have meant, always coming to the same conclusion. Even if there was more to our relationship than a convenient companionship, brought about by the fact that our two best friends were dating each other, Edward never pushed things beyond a certain point and for that I was grateful. As much as I would have liked to explore things further with him under normal circumstances, I was not interested in any kind of a 'final fling' and to have crossed that line with him before leaving town indefinitely would have made my departure infinitely more difficult, not to mention making any future correspondence uncomfortable.

As it stood, we had parted on good terms. I could still feel the way he held me close when we said goodbye and when he whispered that he would miss me, I had stiffened involuntarily and panicked that a sudden shift in our relationship at that point may have damaged whatever it was that we had built so far. He sensed my hesitancy, as always, and turned the remark into something lighthearted, as was our way, before I made a hasty retreat to the car hoping to hide my tears.

I was brought out of my reverie by the announcement that my row was now boarding. With a heavy sigh, I hoisted my bag onto my shoulder and made my way with the other passengers to the gate. As I handed my boarding pass to the pretty girl at the counter, I steeled myself with renewed resolve to put Seattle and all my doubts behind me and to make a concerted effort to embrace this new chapter in my life with the enthusiasm it deserved.

If I was to truly give Chicago a chance, then I couldn't afford to dwell on 'what if's' and 'what might have been's'. I tried my best to push all thoughts of what I would miss aside, deciding instead to look forward to the many possibilities that awaited me at the end of my four hour flight.

Besides, I reasoned, I'm sure Edward isn't going to be wasting his time brooding over me while I am gone. Surely he would just go back to doing whatever it was he did before we met… wouldn't he? I chuckled to myself as I wondered exactly what it was he did do before, as it seemed that there hadn't been anything particularly pressing taking up his time in the last two weeks, apart from me. I guessed that it was simply the fact that he'd been on summer break and therefore had an overabundance of spare time.

I ignored the strange look from the airline employee as she handed me back my pass, still giggling quietly as I walked through the tunnel on my way to the plane. I did manage to compose myself before I made it to the door. Sliding into my window seat, I fidgeted around for a few minutes in an effort to find a comfortable position in the limited space.

Did these seats get smaller or have I gotten bigger since the last time I flew?

Finally, I settled in to the least uncomfortable position I could find and sat my carry-on bag on my lap so that I could get my book out before anyone sat next to me and tried to strike up a conversation. The last thing I wanted to do was to have to make small talk for four hours with a complete stranger that I was almost guaranteed to never see again.

As a rule I would normally have traveled with nothing more than a small purse and a suitcase, but the bag on my lap was the maximum dimensions allowable for carry on baggage thanks to Alice and her insistence that I have a full change of clothes separate from my checked luggage. She cited that you never knew for sure where your luggage went once it disappeared down that conveyor belt and that it's always best to be prepared to be without it for a least a couple of days. I would have argued with her but it was so close to the time that I would be leaving her behind and she pulled out the pout, so I conceded the point without dispute.

As I sat in the confined space with my bag perched on my knee, I began to wish I had put up more of a fight as I prepared to rummage through the monstrosity for my excuse to ignore the other three hundred people on board. Unzipping it, my eyes immediately fell upon a small blue gift bag that I was sure was not there last night when I did a final check of everything. Alice, I thought. She knew I'd have a problem with her buying me a going away gift and so she snuck one into my bag knowing that I wouldn't find it until I was on my way.

Rolling my eyes at her craftiness I pulled out the shiny package and placed it beside me while I dug through the clothes and found my book. Closing the bag back up, I struggled to squish it under the seat in front of me and then turned my attention to the card hanging from the handles of the gift bag.

In case you get bored on your flight. E x

Although the card was tiny, the handwriting was perfect and I smiled at the thought of Edward being the first doctor in history to write legible prescriptions. I was a little surprised that he had bought me something but I was more than a bit intrigued to see what it was as I pulled the decorative piece of tissue out and pulled out an iPod. My immediate reaction was that I couldn't possibly accept such an expensive gift, which I assumed is why he felt he needed to hide it so that by the time it was found, it would be too late to protest. My ire lessened considerably as soon as I noticed the tiny scratches on the device, suggesting that this was more of a 'hand me down' and the idea of Edward giving me something of his to take with me made it even more special.

Turning the iPod on, my eyes welled with tears for the millionth time that day as I flipped through the three playlists downloaded on it. The first two were not music but audiobooks of the final books that didn't make the cut while we were packing up the apartment and the third was a selection of songs under the simple title of Bella. I stared at the small screen and fought back a sob. This was possibly the most thoughtful thing that anyone had ever done for me, but it was so very like Edward to have noticed the potential void in my life and tried to fill it.

Still trying to hold myself together, I dipped my hand back into the bag to find the headphones when my fingers closed around a small box at the bottom. There was another tiny card attached to it with the same perfect script.

I just wanted you to have this. E =)

My trembling fingers fumbled with the lid, pulling it off to reveal the necklace that I had admired at Pike Place, which seemed like a lifetime ago. Unable to hold them back any longer, the tears flowed freely down my cheeks as I lifted the delicate piece up by the clasp and cradled it with my other hand, watching as the sunlight bounced of off the tiny glass beads. I smiled when my eyes caught sight of the silver pendant; the teardrop shape seemed particularly appropriate in that moment.

Sucking in a deep, shaky breath, I swiped the moisture from my face before quickly putting on the necklace and then fishing my phone out of my pocket. Staring at the keypad, I tried to figure out what to type that would convey how I felt about my gifts but came up short. Instead I decided to go for simplicity and hoped that I didn't come across as ungrateful.

Thank you. B x

Looking up for the first time since finding the present, I noticed that the aircraft had filled and the flight attendant was closing the cabin door. Thankfully, the people seated next to me appeared to be a couple that were so enthralled with each other I was sure that they hadn't noticed my little breakdown. The announcement came to turn off all electronic devices in preparation for take off and as I flipped my phone open to power it off, a text message came through from Edward. My lips turned up into a sad smile at the two-word reply before hitting the red button and snapping it closed once again.

Be safe. E x

As the plane taxied to the runway I rested my head against the bulkhead and watched out of the window as we picked up speed before finally leaving the ground behind. I could still see all of the larger landmarks as we passed over Seattle before banking to the right to begin our journey east.

My head was swimming once again, my thoughts unorganized and fleeting as we were given the go ahead to turn our phones back on. Popping the ear buds in my ears, I picked a playlist on the iPod in the hopes of drowning out my fears and doubts. Leaning back in my seat, I closed my eyes and my fingers rubbed the little silver pendant as a voice began to recite the first few lines of 'Emma' by Jane Austen.

A/N I love to hear what you think so please leave a review ;-)