John moaned loudly as life started to come crashing down once again. It was usual for him to feel this way, very often after the anniversary of Sherlock's death. In fact he did not wish to move his head just in case the room did not wish to stay in one place. In fact it always was turning and the doctor hadn't even opened his eyes. That was when it hit him...the bed he felt was not his own at all... mentally John kicked himself over and over, he had not only got drunk but ended up somewhere else. Though something was strangely familiar to it. Lifting his head he decided it was best to look around, even if it did mean feeling rotten to the core. Slowly his eyes flicked, sun beams hurting his head as the blur came slowly into focus. He rubbed his head until his mind set into gear. Launching himself out of bed, John realized he was in the 221 B apartment. His eyes shot open as his heart raced, it made no sense at all.

The bed seemed disturbed by another but there was no one there. John narrowed his eyes as he looked around the room. He did so with great difficulty as his head banged and everything hurt. All the doctor wanted to do was go back to sleep, though he knew he should not. After all this was classed as squatting since he no longer lived in the flat. But as the doctor's brain clicked into gear he noticed how little had changed in this room. it was just like how he left it, two years ago on the dot. He could even remember before that when...he used it. The emotions took over as he recalled the reasons he had moved, it was too hurtful to remember such times. Especially since Mary had just passed away too, everything hurt. John wanted to curl up and just rot. It just felt like there was no happiness left, only sadness with him being left to fend for himself. Love was not something he could have, it only ended with pain. If something was not meant to be it would never work, and it was clear to John this was his not meant to be. He sighed slowly walking down the steps...at least he could have a cup of tea...That was when he froze. At the door frame looking in as he saw the figure on the chair. Eyes wide, skin pale, mouth wide open.

"Sher...lock?" Tears started to gather as he could no longer find his words. Hart rate dropping as he tried to think, but the emotions being too much to bare.

The figure turned from his sleeping slumber, his name having been called. Sherlock looked over the doctor as a small smile was on his face. He wanted John to feel comfortable but already the detective was waiting for that moment that everything dawned upon the doctor. Watching his flat mate in such a state was heart breaking but it was not something Sherlock was used to. Standing up he looked over at the man as he watched all of his reactions, he wanted to cry with him. The man he watched last night and now in front of him was broken, and he was the reason for it. The tinge of regret sparked through his body as the detective's brain tried to work out ways of fixing the situation, making up for everything that had happened. Sherlock had been gone for three years, he would not even be surprised if John rejected him right here and now. After all that he put him through, it was understandable. Sherlock swallowed his saliva before taking a step forward, not coming too close just in case he was pushing things.
"John..." He whispered his words so they were just loud enough to make out.

Everything took over as John heard his name being called, every event in the past three years consumed him at once. His heart beating loudly in his head as the tears built up in his eyes. It was hard to think straight as his bottom lip jittered, trying desperately to form words. It was all too much to take as his brain found himself unable to process anything. The doctor slowly backed into the door frame, eyes not leaving the figure. Breathing hitched as his hands shook more than ever before. It was just impossible and made no sense at all, his heart becoming more loud as colour left him. Trapped in confusion, being unable to escape. His head ran through every possible explanation though nothing could click. It just had to be another hallucination, but John was too emotional to do anything. The pain was far too much to bare, only turning to him to wish sense upon it all. Throat dry to the bone from the pure emotions as he gulped. His hand raising up slowly, as if he had seen a ghost. Shaking still the doctor's finger slowly extended, as he tried his best to let the words flow. Being stopped by the need to let everything burst.

"You...you're...dea-..." John could hardly get the last word out as his body gave way. The emotions being too much as he passed out on the door frame. Skin pale as while with sweat poring off his brow. John had seen better days.

Sherlock sighed deeply as he made his way over to his passed out friend. Something told him that is would play out this way, though he was expecting him to hit him. Then again this was only the first time John had seen him, knowing his luck it would only be a matter of time. Kneeling down he gently picked up the doctor, making sure he did not swallow his tongue. The last thing he wanted was him to die before finding out the truth on what happened all those years ago. The detective brush his hair back before smiling at how peaceful he finally looked, the pale panicked face did not suit him.
"I have missed you so much John..." Sherlock whispered as he watched trying not to jolt him too much. The detective was no doctor on such things, he sighed looking around the room for something to help. Though it looked to be all utterly useless, rolling his eyes he looked around once more. Everything just seemed to be junk...he now understood why Mrs Hudson moaned about the mess. Finally the detective picked John up placing him up right on his own chair. Tilting slightly forward to make sure no accidents would occur. With another loud sigh Sherlock moved back to his own chair, with the factor of waiting being his only task now. Clasping his hands together, he allowed his mind to take over as the thoughts ran wild. It was the best way to kill time, especially in such situations.

/Authors notes:
Sorry this is so late but I had a laptop and partner problem. It's short cause I wanted to get another out there. But next time they will be longer. I hope you enjoy.