Sorry this took so long...I have many reasons, but I won't bore you with them :-)
Thank you to my beta cdunbar for the super speedy turnaround and for putting up with my punctuation disability.
A special thank you to PurdueLiz, Qjmom and EclipseoftheTwilightMoon, without whom this chapter would probably remain unfinished...love you BB's
Also to twilightobsession for giving me a much needed kick in the pants!
Disclaimer: They are not mine....
CHAPTER 10
BPOV
Standing by the baggage carousel in Chicago O'Hare Airport, I was surprised that I hadn't seen Charlie waiting for me when I arrived. He had never been particularly punctual but I had thought that the arrival of his daughter, after a three year absence, may have been reason enough for him to make an effort to be on time.
I sighed as I saw the gigantic black suitcase with the wide pink ribbon tied around the handle (another accessory that Alice insisted on to make the plain piece of luggage more easily identifiable) trundling toward me. Stepping closer to the revolving belt, I braced myself, getting ready to drag the behemoth up on to the floor when I heard a familiar voice behind me.
"A pink bow, Bells?" Charlie chuckled as I spun around to face him.
"Alice," I said, rolling my eyes as a wide grin spread across my face. It was unbelievably good to see him again; I knew I had missed him but I hadn't fully realized just how much until that moment.
With a smile to rival my own, he hauled my bag off the carousel, dropping it at our feet before scooping me into a tight hug.
"I'm so glad you're here. I've missed you, Bells," Charlie whispered softly into my shoulder.
"I've missed you too, Dad," I replied quietly.
Tears pricked the back of my eyes and my heart swelled at the unusual display of affection from my father. I knew he loved me, but he was never one to show his feelings openly, preferring instead to show his love and devotion through more subtle means.
I only came to realize this as I got older and Renee had never understood it all. The way she had explained it to me, it was his apparent indifference that had ultimately led to her leaving him and taking me with her.
Renee was the type of person who constantly needed to hear that she was loved, that she was beautiful, and that she was the most important person in the world to the people she loved.
Unfortunately for Charlie, his way of expressing those things was to work long and hard to provide a roof over our heads and keep food on the table. Sometimes even working overtime in order to support Renee's latest hobby or interest. He never saw the cracks forming in his marriage, believing that his actions spoke louder than any words he could voice, until it was too late and he came home one night to a note and an empty house. Their whole relationship was merely an exercise in miscommunication.
Renee had found her personal cheerleader in Phil, after many fleeting and failed relationships, and I was happy for her. Charlie, however, never fully recovered from his loss because he never truly understood why she left.
I knew he still loved her, I could see the underlying sadness in his eyes, even when he laughed. Sometimes I would catch him in a memory when I walked into the kitchen or the living room of the house they had shared, which he still couldn't bring himself to sell. I would find him staring at the stove or at a chair with a rare sparkle in his eyes and a small smile on his lips. He always shook himself out of his daze as soon as he was aware of my presence and I never acknowledged that I had noticed his little lapses into the past.
Our relationship was one of quiet understatement. When we talked, it was always about our daily lives, never about our feelings. Charlie's e-mails and phone calls over the past few years had been filled with stories about the guys at the precinct or the latest news from the neighborhood, while I regaled him with stories about Alice and the girls at work. It wasn't the content of our correspondence that was important, it was the fact that we both made an effort to maintain that connection that made us appreciate how much we missed and loved each other.
Consequently, those whispered words spoken as we held each other in the middle of a crowded airport were tantamount to baring our souls to the world. So, in true Swan fashion, I decided that one of us would need to lighten the moment before it made the transition from sweet to awkward.
"You were late!" I said with mock anger as I pulled away, the polyester of Charlie's uniform shirt scratching the bare skin of my arms.
"I had trouble finding a parking spot." He grinned sheepishly. "Come on, we'd better get going," he laughed as he picked up my suitcase and led the way to the huge glass sliding doors that opened out to the street.
I gasped as I exited the building and saw Charlie's cruiser parked in the 'red zone' directly in front of me, the red and blue light bar on the roof was on, illuminating the 'Emergency Vehicles Only' sign that was next to the car.
"Lieutenant Swan! I'm appalled!" I hissed under my breath as I approached. "I can't believe you broke the law!" I smiled, unable to hide my amusement of the situation.
"I prefer to think of it as 'bending the rules'," he chuckled. "Although I could arrest you and make you ride in the back, if it would make you feel better?" he asked as he closed my luggage into the trunk.
"No, no, that's okay. Just get us out of here. People are starting to stare," I mumbled to him as we both slid into the front seats and fastened our seat belts.
Charlie flipped the switch on the dash to turn off the flashing lights as he pulled the cruiser away from the curb and headed toward the freeway that would take us home.
"So, what's with the uniform? Are you just getting off shift?" I asked.
"Actually, I have just enough time to get you home before I start work. I'm on my last night shift for this week." He glanced over at me apologetically. "I didn't think you'd mind. You can have the house to yourself to get settled and I thought you'd probably be tired after your trip, anyway." He seemed nervous about deserting me on my first night back, so I wanted to put his mind at ease.
"That's fine, Dad. You probably wouldn't see much of me anyway, it's going to take me forever to unpack all the stuff Alice forced me bring." I rolled my eyes when he laughed at my exasperation. "I might call Rose and see if she wants to come over and catch up, if I'm not totally worn out by the time I'm done."
"Good," he said, looking relieved. "I've got the next four days off, though. I thought maybe we could go to the lake or something one day. You used to love going there."
"Sure, that sounds good." I smiled at him, appreciating the gesture.
The rest of the half hour drive went by in comfortable silence, Charlie and I having no use for unnecessary words or small talk, and before I knew it, we were pulling into the driveway of the little yellow house that filled many of my childhood memories.
The first thing I noticed was that Charlie had painted the exterior in my absence. The old cracked and peeling paint had been replaced with a fresh coat of a pretty, sunshine yellow and the shutters flanking the windows were repaired and painted white. There were two comfortable looking wicker chairs arranged on the covered porch with a small, matching table separating them and I could already envision myself sitting out there on the cooler summer evenings with a cold drink and a good book.
The front lawn was neatly trimmed and I assumed that my father still paid the neighborhood boys to come and mow it for him, knowing how much he disliked any kind of yard work.
"Wow, the house looks great!" I called out as Charlie struggled with my case up the front steps.
"I think the neighbors were about to file a complaint," he laughed as he unlocked the door and led me inside. "So I figured I'd better do something before they ran me out of town."
"I doubt they'd do that," I chuckled, closing the door behind me and standing in the foyer. "There'd be anarchy around here without their resident peacekeeper," I shouted to Charlie's retreating form as he dragged my huge bag up the narrow staircase. He merely grunted in response.
The village of Forest Park was a true anomaly, situated just 10 miles west of Chicago's downtown bustling center and the last stop on the Blue Line of the widely known 'L' transit system. It could easily have become a quiet 'bedroom community' filled with commuters; however, it remained an active and close knit community, which maintained its small town feel through events and clubs that regularly brought its citizens together in a social setting, with each person or group playing an important role in the smooth running of the town.
Shortly after moving here, Charlie had begrudgingly assumed the role of mediator, with his ability to calmly diffuse any situation by being able to make people pause and consider all sides of an argument rationally. He was a regular at the village meetings, not because he was particularly vocal with his opinions, but because he felt it was his duty to make sure things didn't get too heated or out of hand.
I was never sure if this calm assurance was something that had been taught or acquired during his years with the Chicago Police Department or whether it was just something that came naturally to him, but it became an essential piece of the puzzle that was Forest Park. Charlie had become the 'go to' guy around town whenever there was a disagreement, no matter how trivial.
"You sure you're going to be okay by yourself tonight?" Charlie asked as he came back down the stairs, pulling me out of my reverie.
"Of course I will," I answered, stepping aside so he could reach the front door. "You be careful out there, though, okay?"
"I always am, Bells. I'll see you in the morning." He looked at me with a cheesy grin as he pulled the door open. "It really is good to have you home, you know."
"You're just looking forward to a decent meal," I teased, pushing him out onto the porch.
"Ah…you know me too well," he snickered, shaking his head as he walked toward the cruiser. "Don't forget to lock the door!" he shouted back.
"I won't," I said, rolling my eyes at his reminder. "Bye, Dad."
As the car backed out of the driveway, I went back into the house, closing and locking the door behind me. I leaned against it for a moment just relishing the sound of silence that enveloped me as I heaved a sigh; it had been a draining day, emotionally and physically. The goodbyes of this morning seemed like they had happened weeks ago, but in truth, it had only been a few hours.
Pushing myself off the door, I decided to put off unpacking until I'd had a chance to recharge somewhat, so I made my way into the kitchen to make some coffee. A sad smile crept onto my face as I took in my surroundings. Despite the work done to the outside of the house, the inside hadn't changed at all; the kitchen cabinets were still painted in the same yellow paint that Renee had applied all those years ago and the same rickety old table sat in the center of the room with the mismatched chairs neatly tucked beneath it.
As I gathered all the necessary items to brew a pot of coffee, finding them all exactly where they had always been stored, I recalled one of my earliest memories.
I was about four years old when Renee had convinced Charlie that the original dark, wooden cabinetry was absorbing all the light in the room, making it an oppressive space to work and that a coat of paint would make all the difference. After much badgering on her part, he finally conceded and one morning before leaving for work, he removed all the cupboard doors and handed my mom a can of the same yellow paint that had been used on the siding.
Soon, every surface of the kitchen had been covered in old sheets and all the doors were laid out on the table and countertops. Renee wore one of Charlie's old uniform shirts over her tank top and shorts and she had put one of her old t-shirts, which hung down to my ankles, on over my clothes. With both of our heads covered in matching headscarves, we set to work transforming the dreary room.
By the time we were finishing up, both of us were pretty much covered in paint and Renee was kneeling on the floor trying to clean up the tiny yellow footprints I had made after spilling the small pot of paint that I had been entrusted with and then walking through the sticky puddle. My four year old mind was certain that I was going to get in trouble for making a mess as I stood nervously shifting from foot to foot, watching my mother scrub the faded linoleum. She caught my fidgeting form from the corner of her eye and turned to crawl toward me, the huge smile on her face lighting up her beautiful features. Dipping her finger into the abandoned container of paint, she reached out and dabbed the yellow goop onto my nose before quickly kissing me on the cheek.
Suddenly the sound of uproarious laughter filled the room and we both turned to see Charlie, leaning against the doorjamb struggling to remain on his feet as he took in the sight before him. Renee turned and winked at me before she began to stand up from her kneeling position, locking eyes with Charlie. He stopped laughing abruptly and a look of horror spread over his face as my mom slowly stalked towards him.
"Ohhh…no," he said, shaking his head and slowly backing down the hallway, hands raised in surrender.
Renee picked up her pace as Charlie spun on his heel and started running back in the direction of the living room. I quickly figured out the game and soon my mother and I were chasing my father thorough the house laughing and screaming as he dodged and hid behind the furniture. We eventually had him trapped behind the sofa as we approached from either end; he took stock of his predicament before leaping over the back of the couch, landing in the center of the room.
Standing motionless where he landed, he waited as Renee and I ran at him. As soon as we were close enough, he reached out and scooped us both up into his arms before falling backward onto the couch. All three of us laughed and shouted as my mom and I got as much of the paint on him as possible; it was one of the few times I'd seen Charlie truly happy.
Still smiling at the memory, I poured myself a mug of coffee and my heart skipped a beat when I noticed that Charlie had taken the trouble to buy my favorite hazelnut creamer, just another small reminder that he had been looking forward to my return. I wrapped my hands around the mug and went into the living room. Sitting down on the old, threadbare sofa, I relaxed into the cushions and sighed as I looked around the room.
The only new addition to this space was the huge, flat screen TV hanging above the fireplace. Knowing Charlie's propensity for watching every available sporting event when he wasn't working, the purchase wasn't a surprising one. Lined up on the mantle below the TV were all of my school photographs, from kindergarten right up to the final picture of me in my cap and gown at graduation.
I studied my progression from childhood to adulthood with a mixture of horror and amusement for a moment before I felt my cell phone vibrating in my pocket. I knew who the text message was from before I even looked at the caller ID.
Are you there yet? Why haven't you called? How's Charlie? I miss you already, is it too soon to come for a visit? Call me. A.
Grinning at my phone, I imagined Alice's voice firing off those questions to me without pausing for breath as I typed in my answer.
Yes. I was relaxing. He's fine. I miss you too and no. I will call you later tonight, okay? Say hi to Jasper and Edward for me. B.
Snapping the phone closed, I reluctantly got up and headed into the kitchen to refill my mug before trudging up the stairs to my room to begin the unenviable task of unpacking.
Opening the door to my room, I was immediately accosted by the smell of fabric softener from the freshly laundered sheets, blown toward me by the breeze coming from the open window; left open to presumably air out the unused space. I smiled again at Charlie's thoughtfulness.
Mine had been the only room in the house that had changed to any extent in recent times and, as I unzipped my suitcase and began unpacking, I was once again lost in the memory of the year that change was made.
For years I had spent my summers with Charlie, staying in a room that remained unchanged from the time I was toddler. The faded lavender walls and the yellowing lace curtains were accessorized with a small twin-sized bed, an old dresser, and a rocking chair that sat in the far corner next to the window. Its worn, flowery cushions were the same ones my mother sat on while she nursed me and rocked me to sleep as a baby. It was a good-sized room with all the furniture placed around the periphery to allow for, what I assumed was, a play area in the open space in the center.
Having never been the sort of person who put too much stock in her surroundings, it had not occurred to me to ask Charlie to change it and, as he was never one to take the initiative, the room remained frozen in time, just like the rest of the house.
That is, until the summer that I was fifteen and Alice had accompanied me on my annual trip to Chicago.
I had been anxious about my two best friends meeting face to face for the first time. On the surface, they were complete opposites; Alice, with her tiny frame and short dark hair, and Rose, with her long legs and perfect blonde hair that flowed almost to her waist. Their personalities, too, were also quite different - Alice was outgoing, open and trusting of people, while Rose was more aloof with new acquaintances, preferring to step back and use her intimidating beauty and confidence to force people to prove their worth to her before opening up or showing any kind of vulnerability.
They did have one thing in common though…shopping. They both loved to shop almost as much as I hated to, and the thought that long, tiresome shopping sprees may be the only way to get the two of them to bond terrified me. But I was willing to do whatever it took to make the trip a success, so I had braced myself for a summer spent on the Magnificent Mile.
Alice had Charlie wrapped around her little finger within hours of her arrival. There had been a baseball game on that first afternoon and, instead of disappearing up to my room to allow Charlie to watch the game in peace, Alice had insisted that we stay and watch it with him. I grabbed a book and lost myself in the pages while Alice sat on the sofa with Charlie for the entire game, only getting up to replenish his beer and snacks for him. I had thought at the time that she was just trying to make a good impression, but when I glanced up from my book from time to time, I was surprised to notice that she was actually enjoying herself and was quite knowledgeable about the game itself. When I asked her about it later, I discovered that watching baseball was something that she often did with her own father during the summer months and, with him being as busy as he was, it had become a way for them to spend time together that she really cherished. Of course, that afternoon secured her place in Charlie's heart forever and from that moment on, she could do no wrong as far as he was concerned.
After seeing how easily Alice had won over Charlie, I was considerably less nervous about her meeting Rose that evening. As soon as they were introduced, they immediately began talking about clothes and shopping, and I was sure that my worst nightmare was about to come to fruition, thinking that they had found their common ground and I would be subjected to hours of mall time. That was until Alice mentioned the car that she was hoping her parents would buy her for her birthday and Rose's eyes lit up as the conversation shifted to her other great love, performance vehicles. The two of them talked animatedly about Porches and BMWs while I nodded and smiled at appropriate intervals, thrilled that they were getting along so well.
We had been chatting and relaxing in my room for a couple of hours when the topic somehow changed to the room itself. Alice had many ideas as to how the space could be improved and made more 'grown up' and Rose excitedly agreed with most of them while adding her own spin on certain aspects. Assuming that it was more a flight of fancy than an actual plan, I joined in and added my own personal preferences to their design.
The next day, Alice went to work on Charlie, trying to convince him that now that I was a young woman, my room should reflect that fact, all the while promising him that he wouldn't have to lift a finger. I thought for a moment that he was going to hold his ground, until Alice's features shifted into her signature 'puppy dog pout' and he became, like so many other men, powerless against it. Sighing, Charlie gave me a budget to work with and then sent me shopping with two girls that both had access to unlimited funds, and who also didn't know the meaning of the word; he also promised to have the room emptied by the time we returned.
We were exhausted when we arrived home that evening, laden down with dozens of bags. After what seemed like a week of being dragged from store to store, the three of us simply passed out in sleeping bags on the living room floor. Rose and I were awakened at the crack of dawn by an overly excited Alice, bouncing around the room and rummaging through the bags that were still strewn around the floor.
"Oh good, you're awake! I thought you guys were never going to get up. Come on, we've got so much to do! Bella, Charlie left us some old sheets to cover the floor and old shirts for us to wear. I'm going to go and get set up. I'll see you two up there in five minutes, okay?" Alice said without pausing for breath before disappearing up the stairs.
Rose looked incredulous as she watched Alice take the stairs two at a time before turning her attention to me. "Is she always like that?" she asked.
"'Fraid, so," I sighed, rubbing the sleep from my eyes with my palms. "We'd better get up there, she's even worse if you keep her waiting." I grimaced in remembrance.
The three of us spent the rest of the day painting over the tired lavender with a deep blue that Alice and Rose assured me was 'sophisticated', and then replacing the old lace curtains with the heavy, luxurious drapes we had purchased on our outing to Chicago. My new furniture arrived the next morning and, as Rose was the only one of us that knew how to use a screwdriver, she assembled everything that came flat packed in boxes while Alice flitted around the room, supervising furniture placement and arranging the many accessories.
I had to admit that I was more than pleased with the result of our labor when I stood back and surveyed the finished product. My new queen-sized sleigh bed was centered against the wall opposite the door, flanked by two bedside tables that were finished in the same dark stain as the bed frame. A matching desk was situated directly under the window with a comfy, upholstered chair angled in the corner beside it, replacing the old rocker, and a large dresser filled the space against the far wall next to the closet door. The soft furnishings in the room complimented the wall color beautifully, giving the entire space a warm and relaxing air to it.
I chuckled to myself as I remembered Charlie's reaction to the new look. I'd never seen him speechless before and it was amusing to see how impressed he was with what we had managed to accomplish on my 'budget'.
Moving around the room as I finished unpacking my suitcase, I noticed that one new item had been added since the last time I was here. Sitting on the desk was a brand new modem already set up and ready for me. Reaching into my carry-on bag, I pulled out my laptop and set it on the desk, taking a few minutes to hook everything up before pulling out my 'new' iPod and plugging the devices in to charge. The screen lit up and I found myself staring at my unexpected gift while my fingers fiddled with the necklace I was still wearing. Suddenly my thoughts swirled around. Visions of bronze hair and emerald eyes, crooked smiles and comforting touches, bombarded my mind as I stood, gaping stupidly at Edward's little blue memento.
Shaking my head in an attempt to clear it, I turned away from the desk and finished unloading the last of the items from my bag. I threw the smaller piece of luggage into the bottom of the closet, but decided that the suitcase needed to be stored up in the attic, out of the way. I hauled it out onto the landing before pulling down the access steps from the hatch in the ceiling.
Carefully, I made my way up the rickety old steps, pushing the suitcase ahead of me until it flopped onto the floor of the attic. I released my hold on it as I climbed up the last few rungs into the warm, dry air, pulling on the string that dangled from the ceiling to switch on the bare light bulb. Moving the case away from the entrance, I slowly glanced around the room, gasping as I saw the dusty items that were stored there.
Attics had always scared me somewhat; therefore, I had never been privy to the contents of this one before. My eyes found my old crib, disassembled and stacked neatly next to my twin bed frame and mattress in one corner. In another corner was the dresser that had been replaced when we redecorated my room, and next to that was the rocking chair, its worn cushions still in place. My heart filled with love and sadness as I realized that Charlie had kept everything; even when things had changed on the surface, he couldn't bring himself to let go of the past completely, preferring instead to hold on to these keepsakes indefinitely.
Fighting back the tears that were threatening to reemerge for the umpteenth time today, I slowly made my way back down to the hallway, closing the hatch behind me before taking a deep breath and returning to the kitchen to call Rose from the house phone.
"Bella!" Rose practically shouted into the phone. "When did you get in? Why didn't you call me right away? Is Charlie there? Do you guys have plans for tonight?"
My laughter interrupted her interrogation as I reconsidered how much she and Alice were alike than I had first thought.
"Slow down, Rose," I choked out. "I got here about an hour ago but wanted to unpack first. Charlie's working tonight so I wondered if you wanted to come over to catch up?"
"I'll be there in twenty," she said, hanging up before I had a chance to reply.
I stared at the receiver in amusement for a minute before hanging it up and grabbing a soda from the fridge. Walking into the living room, I settled down onto the couch and closed my eyes, reveling once more in the silence of the room as I waited for Rose to arrive.
A/N Reviews make my day ;-)