Because of You
Sequel to: "This I Promise You"
Building a Family series
Written by: Chochowilliams
Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Summary: It is six years later and while Shuichi has moved on with his life, there are those who have not.
Warning: M/M, M/F, Sexual Situations, Romance, Angst, Drama, Fantasy, Infidelity, OOC, Language, M-Preg, OCs, Japan Natives: Surname first
Pairings: Shuichi/Eiri, past Hiro/Ayaka, Hiro/Suguru, Tatsuha/Ryuichi, past Maiko/OMC, OMC/OFC
Inserts: recap from chapter 1
A/N: Enjoy!
oOo
Last Time
After all that time, his grandfather had reached out to him and what had he done? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! If he would have sucked up his pride and made that phone call, he would have been there. He would have been able to say goodbye.
Shuichi dropped his face in his hands and sobbed. Turning around, he leaned against the back of the car and slid down until he was sitting on the bumper.
From the doorway, Eiri watched his husband in sorrow, a lump in his throat and a frown on his face.
oOo
Chapter 2: The Tokyo Tales & Adult Time
Shindou Household - Tokyo, Japan
A stream of white smoke spiraled into the evening air, dispersing into a thin cloud before vanishing all together. On the steps leading down from the Shindou house to the street, Eiri leaned casually against the stone wall with a sigh and tapped the gathering ashes off the tip of his cigarette. Taking one last puff, the tip glowing eerily in the gathering darkness, he ground the butt against the stone steps just as the front door opened behind him.
He heard a deep, heavy sigh from behind him. "Eiri, I wish you wouldn't," Shuichi said as he sat down besides his husband.
Eiri said nothing and kept staring out over the city. He gave up smoking several years before Shuichi and he married and had not so much as looked at another cigarette since, but here he was, back in the habit. If asked, he would not be able to tell you when he started smoking again. It was just something that happened gradually over the last couple of months. Though he made sure he did not smoke in the house or around the children. He was not stupid. He knew the risks that came with smoking and was not about to endanger his family just to support a disgusting habit he could not seem to shake.
Shuichi sighed and shook his head. He knew better than to argue with his husband on this issue of which Eiri was an immoveable force. Shuichi loved Eiri and accepted him no matter what-except for his smoking habit. That smell had engrained itself into everything in their old apartment. It was worse in the winter when the smell of cigarette smoke would cling to Eiri like cologne. Sometimes it was just so nauseating, especially when they kissed and all Shuichi could taste was the cigarette Eiri just had, but over time Shuichi became used to the smell, accustomed to its lingering aroma. And while he was not immune or in love with the smell, it became linked in his mind to the man he loved. Part of him was glad that Eiri took smoking back up. It was like all was right with the world once again or as if he finally came home after being away for so long. It was strange, but true.
Sighing contently, Shuichi rested his head against his husband's shoulder, a smile on his face. "I love you, Eiri," he whispered.
Eiri snorted. "What you do this time?" he asked, draping an arm around Shuichi's shoulders, hugging the other man closer.
"Hey!" Shuichi protested. His head shot up, throwing Eiri's arm off him. Shuichi threw his husband a death glare, or tired to, but failed miserably as a large grin spread across his face. "Can't I just tell you that I love you without having an ulterior motive? I've been doing it for almost twenty years, ya know."
"'Ulterior motive'?" Eiri asked with a raised eyebrow. "That's a pretty big phrase for you."
"Shut up!" Shuichi laughed, slapping his husband again. "You're so mean!"
"Yep and you love me for it." Eiri hugged his arm around Shuichi's shoulders and pulled him down next to him once again. His side was cold without Shuichi there. "Oh and lately you haven't told me you love me without having either done something or wanting something."
"What? That's not true. When have I ever done that?"
"Hm. Let me see," Eiri contemplated. "Could it be when you went out and got your license and then a couple months later bought a car? All without my knowing about it?"
Shuichi blushed.
A couple of years ago, he finally gained the courage to get his driving license. Getting his learner's permit was easier than he thought it would be. For the first time in his life, he actually past a test. The next day, he called Hiro and after a lot of begging and gravelling, finally convinced his best friend to come up for a visit and teach him how to actually work a car. The only thing he knew how to do was turn it on. He could have gone to any number of driving schools, but this way, he knew his instructor would not talk. Shuichi had never been so scared in his life! But his fright turned out to be unfounded. It took a little getting used to feel comfortable behind the wheel, but once he was, he caught on fast and soon was racing down the streets of Japan. A month later, he made an appointment to take the road test and actually passed, much to his surprise. The only problems he seemed to have was his inability to parallel park, park straight and he seemed to have a lead foot. The latter Shuichi knew he got from Eiri. But he was getting better.
To say Eiri was just a tad bit angry when Shuichi came home and told him the news would be an understatement. The blond writer was livid! Before "the incident", Eiri worried about Shuichi driving. He was not entirely stable to begin with and to have him behind the wheel in a place as crazy as Japan? That was just not happening. Then afterwards, Eiri worried even more. What if his legs gave out when he in the middle of driving? That was not something he wanted to even think about.
A month later when Eiri left for a meeting with Mizuki, Shuichi grabbed the twins, called a taxi and went to pick up the car he bought right after he passed his road test-with help from Hiro of course. What he picked out was a yellow colored Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution IV RS. The salesman said something about it having four wheel drive and nearly three-hundred horse power and a bunch of other things. Whatever. It was just a very cool looking vehicle in a not so common color. Eiri was impressed at his choice and even complimented him on it…that is, after he cooled down enough to actually think straight.
Both times, Shuichi crept quietly back into the house and slipped up to an unsuspecting Eiri, hugged him tightly and professed his love for the older man…only to tell him when he dropped his guard what he did.
"That was like three years ago, Eiri," Shuichi reminded his husband, still blushing.
"And?"
"And it was the first and only time I ever did that."
"Is that so?"
"You know so."
"Really."
"Hey, you guys are the ones that're always telling me it's impossible for me to lie."
That was true. Eiri stared down at his husband's glossy black hair. "You think you're so smart."
"Nope," the singer denied. "I know I am."
Eiri blinked, momentarily speechless. Finally, he snorted and shook his head. "You're an idiot," he told his husband affectionately.
"Hey, who's more of an idiot? The idiot or the moron who falls in love with the idiot?"
"What? Are you a philosopher, now?" Eiri chuckled.
Shuichi giggled. "I'm that and much more."
"What?" Eiri chuckled, shaking his head again. "You really are an idiot."
"Nope. Just s-m-r-t."
"Just…what? I think you've grown stupid from lack of sleep."
As if it had been planned, Shuichi gave a loud yawn. "No," he shook his head, yawning. "It was the unofficial slogan of my high school debate team. 'S-m-r-t. We are so smart. S-m-r-t,'" Shuichi sang. "They took it from some cartoon, or something."
Despite his best efforts, Eiri started chuckling. Oh brother, he thought with a quick shake of his head.
The two lovers sat in comfortable silence in each other's arms.
"Are the boys asleep?" Eiri asked after several minutes.
Shuichi nodded, wrapping his arms around Eiri's waist. He snickered. "They were like zombies."
"I can imagine."
They arrived at Shuichi's parent's house right before dinner.
Thankfully, the long two hundred and thirty-one mile drive to Tokyo from Nara had not been as hectic as he thought it was going to be. Keitaro brought along several books and immersed himself in those. The kid was practically a genius-well, that was a given seeing he took after his father-and was currently reading "Robinson Crusoe" and "Treasure Island". Shuichi had never even heard of those books.
A year ago, they purchased the SUV and had a DVD player installed for the boys. It was to keep the boys occupied on long road trips. He was now glad he had installed it because Kane spent the whole trip watching movies. Kira slept for most of the trip. So the car ride had been relatively peaceful, especially after Shuichi fell asleep.
After dinner, Kira decided that he was hungry, so while Shuichi fed him, Keitaro and Kane went out back to play with Maiko's two children-Chiaki who was now seven and Subaru who was two. Apparently, that coupled with the long car ride had really taken its toll on the boys.
"I don't know what to say to her," Shuichi said, breaking the silence.
Without even asking, Eiri knew who Shuichi was referring to. "Sometimes there's nothing to say," Eiri answered. "These things happen."
Shuichi sighed heavily. "I know. It's just that as much as I teased Maiko about her 'pansy boyfriend' in high school, I really thought they made a cute couple." He chuckled. "I mean, the guy put his job as student body president on the line for Hiro and I our senior year."
"Hm. I remember." Eiri planted a chaste kiss on his husband's head. "I thought he was a pretty okay guy, but like I said, things happen. People change. It's not like it was when our grandparents or great grandparents were our age where divorce was not something you even thought about. Nowadays, your spouse steps out of line once and he's kicked to the curb, but that's your sister's prerogative."
"I know," Shuichi sighed. "It's just that I think she's being too hasty, ya know? I mean, I know how she feels. We aren't exactly the poster children for the perfect relationship ourselves."
Eiri snorted. That was an understatement.
"I mean, when we first became lovers, I wasn't exactly your only one." Shuichi poked Eiri in the side. He had the satisfaction of seeing the man blush out of the corner of his eye. "I hated that, but I put up with it because I loved you so much and didn't want to lose you, but eventually, you kicked all those bimbos to the curb and I got you all to myself." He lifted his head and stared at his husband, his eyes hard and screaming "mine."
Eiri chuckled and kissed the tip of Shuichi's nose. He chuckled harder when he saw the singer flush with embarrassment.
"We've been through so much crap," Shuichi continued, resting his head against Eiri's chest. "But despite the zillion bumps in the road-."
"More like mountains," Eiri snorted.
Shuichi giggled. "Despite the zillions of mountains in the road, we overcame everything…"
"Yes, we did," Eiri agreed, "but your sister is not us."
Shuichi pulled away from Eiri. "But-!"
Eiri shook his head, feeling cold now that Shuichi was sitting up. "Shu, if two people are meant to be together, then come hell or high water, nothing will keep them apart. They'll be able to work through anything, but if they aren't able to or unwilling to, then they really aren't meant to be together."
Shuichi sighed heavily and returned to his place against his husband, much to Eiri's satisfaction. "I just want her to be as happy as we are," he whispered.
"I know, Shu-chan," Eiri whispered back.
Again, silence descended down around them. Talking about Maiko's sudden separation from her husband and high school sweetheart got him thinking about Shuichi's grandfather.
"Hey, Shu?" Eiri called softly, breaking the silence.
"Hm."
It sounded like Shuichi was falling asleep. He should just let him rest. Shuichi sure needed it, but this was something Eiri had put off since last night, or very early this morning if you wanted to get technical. Not knowing was driving him crazy. "Why was this the first time I've ever heard of your grandfather?"
Shuichi went tense against him.
"Shuichi?"
Shuichi's eyes filled with tears as a renewed surge of sadness and despair washed over him. He had never been one to fight his emotions and he was not about to start now. His chest felt tight and his heart heavy as a droplet of water rolled down his face. He took a shuttered breath and tightened his hold on his husband.
Eiri hugged Shuichi back. Truthfully, he has never lost anyone close to him, other than Kitazawa Yuki, which was something else entirely. He lost his mother when he was young, but could remember nothing about her. The closest experience in his life he could relate to was the time he broke up with Shuichi who ended up being kidnapped by K's crazy-ass wife and taken to New York City to join XMR Records.
He did not even know his husband had another grandfather. He'd met Grandfather Shindou before he passed away from an inoperable brain tumor a few years ago. The man had been very open and accepting of their relationship. Though he had taken Eiri aside and pretty much threatened to have him castrated if he should ever hurt his grandson. This made him think Shuichi had not been on the best of terms with his grandfather Todono. He wondered what happened to cause such a drift between them.
"Ya know, people were always telling me that I looked like him," Shuichi said, breaking the silence. His voice was soft and thick.
Eiri was not sure what to say to that, but he found himself saying, "Guess that means that Kira looks like him, huh?"
A laugh burst out of Shuichi. Sniffling, he nodded. "Yeah, guess so." He was silent once again. Then, "I take after him in more than just looks, ya know."
It took several seconds for him to get the full understanding of what Shuichi was implying. His eyes grew wide when he finally understood. "Oh, you mean…?"
Shuichi nodded, sniffing. "It was a source of embarrassment for him, though, so, he never talked about it."
That was understandable. "What about you?"
Shuichi said nothing for several long seconds, before he finally shrugged. "I never really thought about it. I had other things to worry about."
Eiri was not so sure that was the whole truth, but left it at that.
Suddenly, Shuichi giggled despite the ache in his heart and the tears rolling down his face. "Purple is a color you don't see in human eyes. In Western cultures, it's a sign of royalty."
"It can also mean spirituality, metamorphosis, wisdom, cruelty, arrogance, sorrow and gay pride."
It did not even surprise him that Eiri knew so much. "My grandfather always used to tell me that we got our purple eyes from our demon blood."
Eiri cocked an eyebrow. "Demon blood?"
Shuichi nodded. A smile flickered on his face as joy over the memory warred with the deep well of sadness over the loss of such a great man. Fresh tears blurred his vision. As he tried to fight the urge to sob, his chest tightened and constricted. He cleared his throat and took a shuddering breath.
"He always used to say…" he began, his voice tight. He cleared his voice once again. "There's a story," he restarted, his voice stronger, "that's been passed down for centuries in my family. They say we come from a very rich and noble family, but one day," he continued over Eiri's snort, "the only daughter of the Noble Lord came across an injured man near the stream just outside of town. He was near death, but she brought him home and nursed him back to health."
"And this man," Eiri interrupted, "had the most incredible purple eyes right?"
Shuichi nodded. "This man was absolutely gorgeous. With long, silky black hair and big purple eyes. He was tall, dark and extremely sexy."
Eiri stared at his husband through narrowed eyes. "Sexy, huh?" he asked, trying to make his voice as nonchalant as possible. Though he must not have succeeded because Shuichi glanced up at him in surprise. A slow grin spread across his face. Eiri felt his heart leap at the sight. A smile definitely suited his lover better than those tears coursing down his face.
"Everybody at the castle was curious about this stranger. Who was he? Where did he come from? They thought he was some noblemen's son because of the silk robes he wore. They were expecting to get some reward for rescuing him. Maybe a joining of the two houses."
Eiri nodded.
"But when the man finally woke up and they saw his purple eyes, everybody knew he was no son of a Noble Lord. He was a demon and was ordered to be executed. The girl was against that and argued, begged and cried to her father to spare this man's life. Finally he relented," Shuichi continued, settling back against Eiri, "but everyone was still a little wary of him. When he was well enough, he began doing odd jobs to pay them back for taking care of him. The first time he traveled into town, people were afraid of him because of his eyes. Talk that he was a demon spread across the town. Then a strange illness swept through the countryside and people blamed him. They claimed everything had been fine before he showed up. The girl, who had fallen in love with him by this time, tried to speak reason with the people, that he had nothing to do with the sickness and that it was unfair to blame him because he was new and looked different, but they would not hear it. They formed a posse and went after him, determined to have a sacrifice. The girl raced home and she and the man vanished into the night."
Silence met the end of Shuichi's tale.
Eiri had to admit that as cutesy and full of fluff as that story sounded, it sounded like it would make a good story. He filed it away for later.
The sound of familiar hiccup-sobbing snapped him out of his thoughts. "Shuichi?"
Shuichi's face crumbled as tears washed down his face. The ache in his heart opened up and swallowed him whole. Shuichi stood up and straddled his husband's lap, wrapping his arms tightly around Eiri's waist and buried his wet face in his chest. "I miss him so much," Shuichi sobbed.
Eiri stroked Shuichi's silken black hair, hugging him back. Rocking them back and forth, he cooed softly to his devastated husband. "Shh. It's okay, Shu-chan." He could spew the same old clichéd crap that was meant to comfort you, but did nothing more than make you feel even more miserable than you already were, but decided to spare his husband all that nonsense. Besides, he had never been any good at comforting people. It always made him feel embarrassed and uncomfortable. Instead, he commanded softly, "Tell me about him."
Shuichi sniffed and snuggled against his lover and partner. "Grandpa," he sobbed. "Todono Ranmaru was a superman above men. Hard on the outside, but warm and fuzzy with a heart of gold on the inside," he choked out. He sniffled. "As the head of the Todono family, he was proud and stuck in the old traditional, honor bound ways. He was hard and stern, with a hot temper. He pressured and pushed you almost to the brink of insanity to get you out there and do something with your life."
"Sounds like my father."
Shuichi sobbed out a laugh. "Yeah, but all he wanted was for us to be independent, well-off and get ahead in life, not be left behind."
"Hmm."
"But as hard as he was, he also had a softer side. He was like a second father to me," Shuichi squeaked, his voice tight. He cleared his throat. "The man actually taught me how to play the piano."
Eiri raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Really?" He was not sure why that surprised him. Of course, Shuichi would have had a sensei. Eiri was not sure what he had been expecting, but learning a man who sounded so tough had taught his grandson how to play the piano was not it.
"We'd give little concerts at family get-togethers." Shuichi giggled lightly as he remembered some of them. "We'd go over and have dinner at my grandparents place every Friday. We'd go to the amusement park each summer, go on picnics to watch the cherry blossoms in the spring, go to the temple and pray regularly. I'd drag Grandfather out shopping…"
Eiri chuckled. "So, it wasn't just me you tortured?"
Shuichi slapped the back of his husband's head playfully. "Jerk. Anyway, we'd play videogames and go the movies…We did everything together. If ever I needed to speak to someone or needed advice, I went to him." His voice faded into a tight whisper. Shuichi breathed in deeply through the nose and out slowly through the mouth, his breath quivering.
"You sounded pretty close."
"We were." Shuichi pulled away from Eiri long enough to wipe his runny nose on the sleeve of his shirt.
"What happened?" Eiri asked his voice soft and non-threatening. He rubbed lazy circles on Shuichi's back.
"In high school, my mom eventually gave up on me ever going to college and becoming a doctor, or a lawyer or something."
Eiri could not help it. He found himself chuckling. Shuichi? A doctor? Not in this lifetime. A lawyer? Hmm. Maybe. It was a possibility, but…
"She let me get a job and stay at home for free so that I could use my money for the band. She knew how much music meant to me. It's my life, had been for as far back as I can remember. It's in my blood."
That was for damn sure.
"But my grandfather refused to give up. He wanted me to do something with a sure future."
That definitely sounded like Eiri's father.
"My grandfather grew up loving music just like I did. He was a genius pianist. If he would have continued playing instead of falling to his father's wishes and going into business, he could have been one of the greatest pianists in the world."
Eiri's brows shot up. "He was that good?"
Shuichi nodded against Eiri's shoulder, tightening his hold. "But his father didn't think there was a future in music. It was fine as a side project or hobby, but music did not put food on the table, a roof over your head or clothes on your back."
Eiri snorted.
"It did not pay that mountain of bills you had or the two mortgages you have on the house."
"In a way he was right," Eiri confessed. "I mean, there is no guarantee in this business. You either succeed or you fall flat on your face. A lot of musicians just have one or two hits and then just disappear. Some never make it at all. Even if you do have a hit album or two, it doesn't mean you're going to instantly be one of the rich and famous."
Shuichi nodded. "I know. That's why my grandfather wanted me to go into another more acceptable line of work."
Ah, Eiri thought. He had a feeling he knew where this conversation was going.
"When he found out I was ranked second to last in the school and that I was failing everything but music and PE, he lost it." Shuichi's vision blurred behind a new veil of tears. His jaw trembled. "He was angry that I was not taking school seriously. That I had no intention of following in his footsteps and become a successful businessman. We had a real bad row one night."
Eiri's hold on him tightened.
Shuichi could remember that night as clearly as if it just happened. Fresh tears gushed down his face and a well of renewed sadness engulfed him. "It-was real bad."
Eiri remained silent.
"It was really hard. We were so close," Shuichi whispered. "He was like a second father to me and to have him say all those things…!" Shuichi took a shuddered breath. "It hurt. It really hurt."
Eiri was curious as to what was exactly said between the two of them. Shuichi easily forgave wrongs that had been committed against him, much to Eiri's chagrin. So, for Shuichi to still hold a grudge after all these years, it must have been bad. As curious as he was, he did not want to put Shuichi through all that crap again.
Shuichi stared blankly at his parent's house, tears slowly traversing the well worn path down his cheeks. He played with the ends of Eiri's hair unconsciously. "It was like a cold war." Shuichi laid his cheek on Eiri's shoulder. "After a while, my anger and hurt subsided enough for me to be able to think clearly. I wanted so badly to speak with my grandfather, ya know? But he absolutely refused to speak with me unless I was there to tell him I decided to do something worthwhile with my life instead of wasting it on music."
It sounded like he was quoting.
"But then I met you and Bad Luck got signed and everything…"
"You had other things to occupy your time."
Shuichi nodded.
"Sounds like you were running away."
Running away?
Shuichi thought about it. After he met Eiri and Bad Luck was signed, Shuichi threw himself into both. He suddenly did not have time for much else. All his time was occupied with trying to make both Bad Luck and his relationship with Eiri work.
Running away?
Seeing his time was so preoccupied with other things, he did not have time to deal with the fact that someone he thought of as a second father felt he was a disappointment.
"Yeah," he whispered. "I guess so."
He usually ran head first into things without thinking, but this one time, he had run away. He hid. He was so weak. He knew he had been. If he could go back and change things, he would.
"And you never spoke to him again?"
Shuichi tensed, then relaxed. He nodded slowly. "I did. Once more after that."
"Really? When?"
"After we were ambushed on TV."
"Ah."
Unfortunately, for Shuichi, only his sister and the people associated with Bad Luck had known about their relationship and when the media ambushed them one morning outside Eiri's old apartment, the rest of Japan suddenly knew. To say the least, his family had not to be too pleased about learning of their son's little secret from television.
"I tried one more time to talk to my grandfather. I went to see him, but once again he refused to see me." Shuichi tightened his hold on Eiri once more as the memory came back. "This time, he didn't care what it was I had to say." Shuichi burst into tears. Sobbing, he cried, "He said he no longer had a grandson!"
Eiri was dumbfounded. "What?"
"I was confused! I didn't understand!" He hiccupped. "I didn't believe my grandmother! So," he sniffled, "I burst into the house and stormed into his study! I demanded to know what was going on! He-he said he didn't know me! That his grandson would never defy him not once, but twice!"
Eiri finally understood. "He didn't like the fact that you were gay."
Shuichi hollowed. "That hurt worse than anything else!"
Eiri hugged Shuichi tightly. "What happened?" he asked around a lump in his throat. He felt tears in his eyes.
"I just stood there dumbfounded," Shuichi sobbed. He scrubbed s hand over his tear filled eyes. "Finally, I bowed and said, 'I'm sorry Grandfather. I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment to you, that I couldn't be what you wanted me to be, but I'm not sorry for the choices I made in my life. I love singing and I love Yuki and I have no plans of giving either of them up. Goodbye, Grandfather.' And I left. That was the last time I ever saw him!"
The night was filled with the sounds of muffled heart wrenching sobs that broke ones heart just listening to them. Tears of sympathy spilled freely down Eiri's face and he held his lover tightly.
oOo
Neither knew how much time had passed when Shuichi's tears began to slow and his sobs started to subside. Eiri's arms and back ached; his legs had fallen asleep and he needed a cigarette. Shuichi lay draped across him. The baka felt like he weighed a million tons. His breathing had slowed and was beginning to even out. He was falling asleep. As much as Eiri hated to do it, he would have to wake Shuichi up in order for them to go to bed. There was no way he would be able to carry him inside and upstairs. He opened his mouth to wake him up, but Shuichi beat him to it by mumbling something softly.
"What?"
"He called last week."
"Who?" Eiri asked, confused.
"My grandfather."
Eiri blinked. "What do you mean he called?"
"My mom gave him our number and he left me a message. I erased it before you could hear it," he mumbled.
Shuichi sighed and cuddled closer.
Eiri drew his brows together. "What did he want?"
"Don't know. He wanted to talk."
"Did you call him back?"
"No."
"What? Why the hell not?"
"Don't know."
"Shu," Eiri sighed.
Shuichi sniffled. His jaw trembled as a fresh wave of tears stung his eyes. "I wish I had," he sobbed. His chest felt tight as a wave of guilt washed over him. "Why didn't I? Why Eiri? I could've been here when he-I could've gotten the chance to-Why?"
He feels guilty, Eiri realized. That was why Shuichi was so upset over his grandfather's death. Shuichi must be feeling that if he had called his grandfather back instead of erasing the message and doing nothing, he would have gotten the chance to see him one last time. He would have had the chance to work things out. They might have been able to come to some sort of understanding. It was one of those "what if" scenarios.
"Maybe you were scared," Eiri answered before he had time to think about it.
Shuichi pulled back and searched his lover's face. "Of what?" he sobbed, tears coursing down his face.
Eiri shrugged. "You haven't seen him in how many years?" Eiri fingered Shuichi's hair. "Nobody could blame you for being scared about facing him after all these years, especially after the way the two of you parted. Your grandfather disowned you and all because you followed your heart and not the leader. Twenty years is a long time, Shu."
"But-"
Eiri hushed him by placing his finger over those soft, kissable lips. "Stop it, Shu. You have nothing to feel guilty about, okay? Remember what I said earlier. Things happen."
"Yeah, but-"
"You didn't exactly part on the best of terms, did you?"
Shuichi shook his head, remembering that day.
"You haven't seen or heard from him in almost twenty years and then he calls you up, out of the blue?" He shook his head. "Anybody in your shoes would need some time to digest everything."
Shuichi sat back and searched his partner's face. A stray tear slipped down his face. "Really?"
Eiri smiled tenderly. He cupped Shuichi cheek and nodded. "Yes, really."
Shuichi leaned into the touch and his tears came faster down his face. He did not know why, but suddenly his chest was not as tight. An invisible knot seemed to loosen inside of him. With a sob, he flung himself at his husband and hugged him tight. "Thank you, Eiri," he whispered. He giggled through his tears as he felt the writer shudder. Sensitive ear. Suddenly an idea formed. He molded his body against his husband's chest and breathed huskily, "I think it's time to go to bed."
Again, Eiri shuddered. He felt his body tighten and throbbing with desire. There was no need to tell him twice. Eiri stood up with Shuichi still strapped to him like a koala and carried him inside the house, shutting and locking the door behind him.
oOo
The Shindou household was locked up tight for the night and at first glance it appeared quiet.
Tucked away in her old bedroom, Maiko and her two children slept peacefully. While her seven year old daughter Chiaki and two year old son Subaru shared their mother's old bed amicably, Maiko herself had pulled out an extra pillow, blankets and a futon mat from the closet and was sleeping on the floor next to her children. Maiko tossed and turned in her sleep, whimpering quietly in her sleep.
A week ago, Maiko walked out on her husband of seven years after coming home from a long and exhausting business trip to find him in the arms of another woman. Upset and humiliated, she grabbed her luggage and walked right back out, stopping at the babysitters to pick up her children before making the long trip from Hokkaido to Tokyo. As if realizing that her marriage was not as steady and strong as she always thought was not bad enough, she had not even set a foot inside her parents home when she learned of her grandfather's passing.
In her bedroom on the other side of the house, Mrs. Shindou had cried herself to sleep, but unlike her daughter she had someone to comfort her and wipe away her tears. In her sleep, she scooted closer to the warmth of her husband's arms, glad he was there.
In Shuichi's old bedroom, the Uesugi-Shindou twins were sleeping like the dead in the bunk bed where their otokasan used to sleep
Earlier, Keitaro and Kane spent an hour arguing and fighting over who would get to sleep where. Both wanted to be on top. The only solution was a game of Janken. This was not anything new. It happened every time they slept over Grandma and Grandpa's. Unfortunately for Keitaro, Kane won and got to sleep on top.
Looks were deceiving. In their sleep, the boys looked like angels, though anybody who knew the twins knew they were more like little devils. In a crib near the rolled out futons where Shuichi and Eiri would sleep, baby Kira was sound asleep. The Uesugi-Shindou children did not have a care or worry in the world.
Soft snores permeated the air and a quiet, serene atmosphere had settled over the household, but if one were to listen more closely, one would hear soft moans and muffled cries from behind another closed door.
Behind that closed door, Shuichi and Eiri knelt facing one another in a tub filled with a mountain of white frothy bubbles that looked like a heap of whipped cream in a mug of hot cocoa. The bubbles were like a black censor bar covering their privates, keeping the erotic, pornographic vision from innocent eyes.
Eiri splayed his hands on either side of his partner's waist, his fingers tickling the sensitive skin. Ever so slowly, he trailed his hands upwards, tickling Shuichi's ribs, who squirmed and giggled in reaction. A jolt of pleasure zipped straight to Eiri's groin. His thumbs rubbed ghostly over the younger man's nipples, eliciting a gasp-y moan from his lover. They protruded into hardened buds. Eiri's hands continued up Shuichi's chest to his shoulders, his feather light touch sending shivers through his lover's body.
"Eiri," Shuichi whispered, huskily.
He closed his eyes and sighed contently. He loved the feel of his husband. The feel of his hands tracing his body, his lips against his, makes him hot and bring him near orgasm. He knew what to do to make him moan, how to make him hard and find release again and again. Eiri knew him better than he knew himself.
"Mmm," he moaned.
Eiri's fingers trailed lightly across Shuichi's shoulders and up his neck into his hair, then down along his jaw to cup his face. Eiri's thumbs brushed over Shuichi's parted lips. Shuichi dropped his head back and reveled in his husband's touch as Eiri's hands left his face and traced a path delicately back down his chest.
His hands left his lover's supple body and he leaned forward, brushing their lips together. When he pulled away, Shuichi was watching him. Those wide majestic purple eyes were glassy with adoration.
Eiri's heart swelled as he took in the lithe, sexy man kneeling before him. How had he gotten so lucky? What had he done to deserve this man's love? He did not feel the least bit worthy of all the love Shuichi showered him with every single second of each day. He may not know what exactly it was that attracted Shuichi to him in the first place and what kept him there nearly twenty years later, but he did not intend to let him go, not now, not ever. As medieval as it sounded, Shuichi was his. He was not sure why or how it happened, but over time, he had fallen completely head over heels in love with Shindou Shuichi. Now, he could not even imagine his life without him.
Shuichi cupped Eiri's face between his hands. Eiri's fair complexion seemed even paler against his tan complexion. He pulled Eiri's head down and kissed him, just a light brush of lips, a simple taste, before pulling away. He stared into those hazel eyes golden like the sun eyes darkened with lust and felt himself being pulled in. Shuichi licked along those lips that tasted of cigarettes then swept his tongue inside his partner's willing mouth.
Eiri suckled on the long, meaty instrument. He placed his hands on Shuichi's hips and gently pulled the smaller man's body against his, deepening their kiss. Their tongues danced an erotic mêlée as Eiri slid his hands around Shuichi's waist and down his back to cup his tight, round ass. He squeezed the globes, swallowing the moan his lover elicited. As one of his hands played with Shuichi buttocks, his other hand gripped a leg and wrapped it around his waist.
"Eiri," Shuichi panted, pulling away. He tilted his head as Eiri kissed a trail along his jaw and down his neck, moaning erotically…Shuichi yelped, his eyes popping open. He glared at his husband and slapped a hand over the side of his neck, growling.
Eiri chuckled, his eyes crinkling with laughter and amusement.
"Must you do that?" Shuichi bit angrily. "Jeeze! My neck is always covered in goddamn hickies! Do you know how embarrassing it is to walk around with bruises on your neck all the time?"
Eiri continued to chuckle, his eyes sparkling in amusement. With one hand holding Shuichi's leg around his waist, he slipped his other hand between the man's ass cheeks. Instantly, he discovered the entrance to the hidden cave. He licked his lips in anticipation. He leaned forward and whispered huskily in Shuichi's ear, "Security measure."
Shuichi blinked, confused. He took a breath and opened his mouth to question the man further, but Eiri in that moment wiggled a finger into the tight passage. Shuichi's indrawn breath turned into a gasp, half pain, half pleasure as he clamped down around the intruder instinctively. Eiri waited patiently for his partner to relax.
"So tight," Eiri whispered huskily. "So deliciously tight." As he felt Shuichi's muscles start to relax, he slid his finger all the way inside before pulling it back out, just as slowly, loosing him. "You're still so tight after all these years and so warm. You know what it feels like in here, Shu-chan?"
"W-wha-?" Shuichi panted. He instantly forgot what the question was he was asked. He did not know anything, could not remember anything or think about anything other than the overwhelming feeling washing over him. He shuddered violently, moaning.
"Rubber. You know what it's going to feel like once I shove my dick inside of you?"
"Ngh!" Shuichi cried as Eiri hit that spot deep inside of him.
In. Out. In. Out.
Eiri pulled his finger out and shoved it back in, only this time with a partner. "It's going to feel so..." He withdrew his fingers and pushed them back inside, going as deep as he could.
"Ah!"
"…damn…" Eiri slid his fingers out and then shoved them violently back in, scissoring them.
"Ah!"
"…good!"
Shuichi arched his back, pushing against the fingers inside of him and tossed his head back. He felt the rush of heat and pleasure. His muscles clamped down around Eiri's fingers and he cried out as the orgasm burst through him, his come erupting all over the both of them like Old Faithful.
Panting, Shuichi sagged between Eiri and the wall. He felt like a limp noodle.
Eiri chuckled as he slid his fingers out of Shuichi. He should remind the baka that they were not at home, but why ruin the mood? "So predictable."
Shuichi pried open an eye and watched him for a second before his eyes closed. "Not my fault."
"Oh? Than whose is it?"
"That would be yours, Pal."
"Really? Am I that good?"
Shuichi snorted. "Ego much?"
Eiri chuckled and pressed himself against Shuichi without entering him, a tease till the end, rubbing himself back and forth.
Shuichi gasped as a jolt raced through his body. He shivered violently and moaned. When Eiri lifted him, he instinctively wrapped his legs around Eiri's waist.
Eiri eased himself inside his husband, pushing ever so slowly and gently. The last thing he wanted was to hurt him. Shuichi hissed squeezing his eyes shut tight. He gripped Eiri's shoulders, his fingernails leaving half moon imprints. When Eiri was completely sheathed inside Shuichi, he looked at him, concern, love and need fighting for face time. Once the pain and discomfort faded, Shuichi sighed and nodded.
Tentatively, Eiri eased out and back in, trying to be gentle.
It felt so good. Eiri always felt so damn good, but this was not what Shuichi wanted. "Eiri, please!" He pressed his lips to Eiri. They fed from one another. Tongues lapping, teeth biting and pulling. Shuichi pulled away, panting. "Please."
He knew what Shuichi wanted.
Going even slower then before, Eiri pulled out until only the head remained.
Shuichi growled in frustration. "Eir-"
Eiri plunged inside of Shuichi hard and fast, fucking him into the wall.
Shuichi arched away from the tiled wall and cried out. His hands spasmed around Eiri's shoulders. He hugged his body to Eiri's, pressing himself into the other man, just as Eiri thrust himself into him. His body bounced with each thrust, ripping moans and gasps from him.
The singer felt his muscles tighten.
He grabbed handfuls of Eiri's blond hair and bit his lip as Eiri let go of all his inhibitions and thrust into him. "Ah!"
Shuichi dropped his head down, panting. He was flushed and beginning to sweat. Gazing at his partner, he saw nothing there but need and hunger. As if afraid of being watched, Eiri growled and sped up, plunging in and out of Shuichi faster and harder. A wave of pleasure rode over Shuichi. He tore his gaze away and leaned his head back against the wall, riding this man's thick cock as it continued to dive inside him and rip back out, crying out.
God, he felt so good!
"God! I love you, Eiri!" Shuichi cried out.
Both men lost themselves in the intense rhythm of their lovemaking. Shuichi's orgasm burst through him unexpectedly. It started in his toes and rolled through his entire body. His muscles tightened and his inner walls clamped down around Eiri's cock. The added pressure undid Eiri. He dropped his head and grunted, releasing his seed within his lover. Shuichi's vision blacked and a wall of silence encased him. His muscles clamped down and his seed shot out like a dam bursting, coating both his and Eiri chests.
Panting heavily, Shuichi collapsed against Eiri. He did not have an ounce of strength left.
Eiri hugged Shuichi to him. "Are you okay?" he asked Shuichi breathless.
Shuichi grunted, the only thing he could do.
Eiri chuckled and pulled out, his softened cock sliding out of his lover. Shuichi hissed and whimpered softly. "Are you sure you're okay? I didn't hurt you did I?"
"No," he mumbled, half asleep. " You'd never hurt me."
Smiling softly, he picked up his husband, cradling him in his arms and carefully sat back down in the tub. It was only then he noticed the water level had gone down drastically. He peered over the edge of the tub and found the missing water. It was a good thing there was a drain in the middle of the floor. Settling back in the tub, he tightened his hold on his husband who appeared to have fallen asleep. Smiling, he closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the tiled wall.
oOo
Shuichi yawned loudly, his jaw popping and his eyes watering from the threshold of the bedroom.
Eiri eyed him. "Tired?" he asked as he made their beds.
Shuichi leaned against the door frame, nodding. He blinked his eyes rapidly, widening them in an effort to stave off sleep for just a few minutes longer, but it was a futile task. If felt like someone was sticking hot pokers in his eyes. He was so tired he could barely keep his eyes open. Rubbing the gathering sleep from his eyes, Shuichi sighed and pushed away from the door, stepping into the bedroom. He trailed his hand lightly across Eiri's shoulder as he stepped around him towards the crib.
Shuichi smiled tenderly down at his sleeping son. His soft feathery black hair was sticking up on end. It looked like Kira had a Mohawk. Shuichi reached out and ran a knuckle lightly over Kira's tanned cheek. He felt warm to the touch. "He's so cute," he whispered.
"When he's sleeping," came Eiri's snorted comment behind him.
"Eiri," Shuichi scolded softly, giggling.
"What?" Eiri asked innocently. He got to his feet with a grunt and stood behind his husband. Draping an arm around Shuichi's shoulder, he gazed down at his infant son. "You know it's true, Shuichi. When he's awake all he does is cry, poop and eat." A sly smirk crossed his face as what he just said sunk in.
"Don't even," Shuichi warned. He did not even after look at his husband to know what he was thinking.
Eiri's smirk grew. His eyes sparkled mischievously. "Don't what? Don't say that-"
"You finish that sentence and-"
"And what?"
"And it'll be only you and your hand for a month," Shuichi threatened.
Eiri's smirk fell. "You wouldn't."
"Try me," Shuichi smiled deviously.
Eiri squinted.
"Better yet," Shuichi said, deep in thought. He turned around to face Eiri and draped his hands around his neck, linking his fingers behind him head.
Eiri set his hands on Shuichi's hips, waiting.
"I can go sleep on the couch in the living room."
Eiri snorted. "That's a punishment?" he asked in amusement, wrapping his arms around his husband's waist, pulling him against him.
Shuichi's grin widened. Nodding, his eyes sparkled in amusement. He rose to his tiptoes and whispered in Eiri's ear, "It is when that means you'll have to take care of Kira when he wakes up in the middle of the night every night for a month."
Eiri's eye was twitching as he pulled away, rubbing his sensitive ear.
Giggling, Shuichi gave his husband a quick kiss before he pulled away and went to check on the boys.
He chuckled when he saw Keitaro. The boy had kicked off his covers and they were now heaped at the foot of the bed. Keitaro's legs were stretched out in a "V", his feet stretched out towards the corners at the foot of the bed and his arms were curled up besides his head. His face was turned toward the wall and his mouth was slightly ajar. A little drool pooled on the pillow. Half of his spikes were matted down while the other half was sticking up. The white pajama bottoms were hiked up his legs and his shirt had ridden up, showing his pale belly. Shuichi did not even bother to pull the covers back over him. It was pointless. Keitaro would just kick them back off. Besides, it was a relatively warm night anyway. After planting a kiss on the boy's forehead, he rounded the bed and went up the ladder to check on Kane.
Unlike his brother, Kane was curled up into a tight little ball under the covers in the middle of the bed. Only the top of his blond head was visible. His hair was so long that it had to be braided before he went to bed, otherwise it would end up stuck underneath him when he was sleeping. That had happened on several occasions, where Kane had tried to get up, but could not because his long hair was trapped under his elbows. Eiri suggested maybe it was time for Kane to get a haircut if it was such a bother. The poor kid had had a panic attack at the mere suggestion.
"I don't wanna get my hair cut!" he would whine.
Shuichi giggled at the memory. Kane wanted to be exactly like him. It was so cute. It annoyed the hell out of Eiri, though.
"One of you is more than enough," Eiri would say.
Climbing down the ladder, Shuichi walked back over to Eiri who was watching him from besides the crib and wrapped his arms around his waist, laying his head on his chest. He closed his eyes and smiled, sighing contently. He heard the muffled thump-thump of his loves heart.
Eiri hugged him back and planted a kiss on his head.
Shuichi lifted his head and stared up into those golden hazel eyes he loved so much, but before he could express those thoughts out loud, a tiny whimper cut through the silence of the room. Groaning, Shuichi dropped his head forward. "Damn. I swear that kid's psychic."
Eiri chuckled.
Every time Shuichi and he tried to get ready for bed, or tried to have some private time, Kira started making a fuss then refused to go back to sleep. It amazed Eiri that they had been able to have as much time alone tonight as they had. He should have known it was too good to be true.
Shuichi was too tired to deal with Kira, especially since they had to get up early for his grandfather's wake the next morning, but he did not have much of a choice. Pushing away from Eiri, he turned towards the crib just as Kira's silent whimpers morphed into loud wails. His face was scrunched up and turning red.
Eiri stepped forward. "Let me take care of him," he volunteered. "You need to get some sleep."
Shuichi shook his head as he gently lifted his wiggling son out of the crib. "No," he said, "that's okay. I'll do it. It's my turn anyway."
"Shuichi-"
Shuichi walked up to his husband and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before strolling out of the room. He stopped outside the doorway, a squirming, screaming Kira in his arms. "Besides," he whispered, struggling to hold Kira, "I haven't been paying much attention to the boys lately. I've been too busy working on my book."
Eiri gazed at his husband sympathetically. That was exactly why he thought Shuichi should get some sleep, but his lover had a point. Besides, there was no arguing with him. The man was as stubborn as a mule. Sighing, he nodded. "Fine."
Shuichi smiled over his shoulder at his husband before turning back around and smiling down at his son. "Alright, come on. Let's go before you wake up the whole household." He walked down the hall and vanished down the staircase.
Eiri walked towards the bedroom door and as he started to close it, he heard his partner exclaim over their son's incredible wails, "Pew! No wonder you woke up. You so stinky!" Eiri chuckled and shook his head. "Daddy thinks you take after me, but ya know what?" Eiri strained his ears to listen. "I'm not the one who takes major dumps and stinks up the bathroom. THAT would be Daddy's fault." Eiri snorted, his mouth twitching into a smile. Shaking his head, he closed the bedroom door.
oOo
Standing up, Shuichi walked through the living room and into the kitchen, heading straight towards the garbage can with the diaper held out at arms length. Behind him, he could hear his son's cries following him. "I swear someone slipped a laxative in Kira's milk," he said out loud. Lifting the lid of the trash can, Shuichi dropped the heavy load in and shut the lid again, closing off the nauseating smell.
oOo
Soft, melodious humming filtered throughout the sleeping household. Shuichi smiled down at his son he was holding securely but gently in his arms. Those large brown eyes stared unblinkingly up at him as Kira sucked hungrily at the bottle. Curled up in the corner of the couch, Shuichi giggled and placed a kiss on his son's forehead. Kira acted as if he had not eaten in days.
"You and your brother's get to go visit Uncle Hiro and Uncle Fujisaki tomorrow while Daddy and I go to Grandpa's Wake," Shuichi told him. He blinked back a sudden well of tears and cleared a constricted throat. "Yes, you are," he continued, his voice strained. "It's too bad Kazahaya-kun won't be there, though. Keitaro and Kane would probably love to see him again." He looked down at his son. "Right? What do you think?"
Kira just continued staring up at him.
Shuichi giggled again. Sighing, he leaned his head back against the back of the couch and yawned loudly.
His smile slipped as he thought about his best friend. Their relationship had never gotten back to what it used to be, but the man was still like a brother to him and he trusted him with his life. But while their relationship had been slowly coming together, Hiro's marriage to Ayaka was falling apart. Hiro refused to talk about what happened between Ayaka and him, but being his best friend, Shuichi could guess.
Ayaka had always been a sweet, quiet girl who liked to keep to herself and just could not handle all the paparazzi that was suddenly thrust unwillingly upon her after the press discovered she was with the hot, genius guitarist. And then there was the fact that Bad Luck was always so busy. Hiro just did not have time to devote to her any more. They slowly began drifting apart. Nothing changed after Hiro and she married. If anything it only made things worse. She had no privacy anymore. She was a prisoner trapped in her own home because of the paparazzi and even worse, all the Bad Luck fans. What she hated the most was that she saw even less of her husband. She felt as if Hiro had left her behind. She was absolutely miserable. Ayaka just could not handle it, despite how much she loved Hiro. In a last ditch effort, they tried having a child to save their marriage. At first it seemed as if things might actually work out after all, but then suddenly one day it was announced that they were separating.
Shuichi was sure there was something more to that story because the ink on the divorce papers was not even dry when Fujisaki moved in with Hiro. Shuichi suspected that Ayaka had not been the only one who had been lonely.
Yawning, Shuichi lifted his head and gazed down at Kira. It appeared he had finally fallen back asleep. Smiling tenderly down at the sleeping baby, Shuichi set the now empty bottle on the coffee table and grabbing the white cloth diaper that sat next to it, placed it over his shoulder. Gently, Shuichi lifted Kira and held him against his shoulder. As he started patting Kira's back, Shuichi's mind wondered from his best friend to his grandfather.
A flurry of butterflies fluttered in his stomach. Shuichi had never been so nervous in his entire life. He would feel more comfortable and at ease in front of a firing squad.
"Everything'll work out," he assured himself out loud. "Right, Kira?"
Kira answered with a loud belch
…To Be Continued…
Preview: "Saying Goodbye"