Because of You

by chochowilliams

6th in the Building a Family series. Sequel to "This I Promise You". It is six years later and while Shuichi has moved on with his life, there are those who have not. M/M, M/F, Sexual Situations, Romance, Angst, Drama, Fantasy, OOC, Language, M-Preg, OCs, Japan Natives: Surname first

5. The Final Farewell

Because of You

Sequel to: "This I Promise You"

Building a Family series

Written by: Chochowilliams

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Summary: It is six years later and while Shuichi has moved on with his life, there are those who have not.

Warning: M/M, M/F, Sexual Situations, Romance, Angst, Drama, Fantasy, Infidelity, OOC, Language, M-Preg, OCs, Japan Natives: Surname first

Pairings: Shuichi/Eiri, past Hiro/Ayaka, Hiro/Suguru, Tatsuha/Ryuichi, Maiko/OMC, OMC/OFC

Inserts: recap from chapter 4

A/N: Enjoy!

oOo

Last Time

"Is that your son, Shuichi?"

Shuichi turned around and saw his grandfather's other brother, Todono Waki, and his wife, Benio. "Yes, it is. This is Kane." Shuichi glanced down at the boy, who was still clinging to his leg. "Kane this is your uncle Waki and Aunt Benio."

Kane glanced up at him.

"Say hello."

Kane peered around Shuichi's leg, and then retracted it, burying his face against his leg and tightening his hold.

Shuichi sighed and rolled his eyes. This was one of those times when it became obvious who Kane's father was (as if the hair and eyes were not enough). Eiri despised socializing and so did Kane-that was up until the boy became comfortable with the people he was meant to socialize with.

His uncle chuckled. "He's a little shy, huh?"

"You'd never know it if you saw him at home," Shuichi admitted, looking down at the blond head. Prying the boy off his leg, he picked him back up. "Come on. I'll introduce you to Grandfather."

oOo

Chapter 5: The Final Farewell

Ozaki Funeral Home

In the cool, air conditioned confines of the plush bus reserved for the Todono funeral procession to the crematorium, Shuichi sat by the window towards the back of the bus, watching along with the other attendants from the funeral, for Todono Ranmaru's coffin to be brought out. Kane was sitting sideways on his lap with his face pressed up against the window, an eager expression on his face.

Kane was too young to really understand what a funeral meant, but the whole process fascinated him, especially the Kokubetsu Shiki, or the "Announcing-the-Departure" ceremony, which was the farewell rite where the monks for forty-five minutes chanted in perfect imitation of the Gregorian monks much like they did during the otsuya (1). Kane was equally fascinated by the Nobe no Okuri, or the "Putting Out to Pasture" ceremony, where the body of Todono Ranmaru was displayed for the last time before being sealed in his coffin and taken to the crematorium. This took place after the Kokubetsu Shiki and after the telegrams from those who could not attend were read.

Of course, when Kane saw the lifeless body of his great grandfather, he said, "He looks asleep, Otokasan." That innocent remark sent everyone into a flutter of tears.

"He really is your son, Big Brother," Maiko remarked, tears in her eyes from besides him.

Guess so.

Shuichi winced as his sons swinging foot whacked his leg for the third time, bringing him out of his thoughts. He clamped a hand on Kane's foot. "Stop it," he commanded.

He then looked back out the window to see his grandfather's coffin emerge from the funeral home. Six pallbearers, three on each side, were escorting it. Shuichi recognized his grandfather's brothers, Satoshi, Yoh, Ai, Kazuki and Daiki and their cousin Amuro. The immediate family preceded the coffin out of the funeral home, which included his grandmother, his grandparent's children and their spouses and the rest of his grandfather's siblings and their spouses.

Shuichi pursed his lips and choked back a sob as the pallbearers carried the coffin down the short walk to the waiting black pickup style hearse. He watched as they carefully maneuvered the coffin around and slid it into the hearse. Tears stun his eyes, blurring his vision. His throat ached as it locked around a sob. A black hole of sadness and despair opened up inside of him.

He tore his gaze from the sight, breathing deeply in through his nose and slowly exhaling through his mouth in an attempt to calm himself down. It was not working. His chest began to burn. Leaning his head back, he stared at the roof of the bus with wide eyes. He blinked, trying to dispel the deluge of tears stinging his eyes. Clearing his aching throat, he looked back out the window.

He was not one to hide or suppress his emotions, but this time it was different. He had to be strong in front of his children. Afterwards. Afterwards, he could break down.

The coffin had vanished from view within the dark confines of the hearse and the pallbearers had joined the rest of the family gathered in the parking lot to speak to the owners of the funeral home. A man dressed in black Shuichi did not recognize stepped forward and shut the back door, locking it with a resounding "click". Shuichi jumped, cringing as the sound echoed in his head. His heart lurched painfully.

"Otokasan?" asked a sudden small voice.

Shuichi gasped, startled. Blinking, he tried to focus his mind. Lifting his head, he stared down at his son and asked, "What?"

"Do we get to go to the crematorium now?" Kane asked with those large innocent golden hazel eyes.

"Crematorium"?

Shuichi's smile wavered and dropped. His heart gave a sharp jolt. Kane blurred behind another wash of tears. His throat once again closed around a threatening sob.

In about two hours, his grandfather's body would be nothing more than a pile of ash and bone. The bones would be separated and passed from person to person by chopsticks and placed into an urn, which would be Todono Ranmaru's final resting place.

Shuichi choked back a sob and blinked back his tears.

Turning, Shuichi met his sister's glistening chocolate eyes several rows up. She smiled sadly back at him. He then swept his gaze around the bus and met the dead, watery eyes of several of his relatives before they averted their gaze.

Licking suddenly dry lips, Shuichi swallowed and cleared his throat. Forcing himself to smile, he stared into Kane's eyes and nodded. "Yeah," he squeaked. He cleared his throat. "As soon as they," he pointed out the window to his grandmother and the others, "get on the bus, we'll follow that black car to the-crematorium," he stuttered painfully.

"Okay!" Satisfied, Kane turned to gaze out the window, lightly swinging his legs and humming quietly to himself.

Shuichi sighed and studied his son, a small, blank smile on his face. He ran a hand through Kane's dirty blond locks. He rested his head against the back of the seat, holding his son securely in his lap and turned to stare blankly out the window. A stray tear rolled down his cheek.

oOo

En Route

The forty-five minute trip to the Forest Lawn Crematorium was all a blur to Shuichi. He was aware of nothing as the bus shadowed the black hearse through the busy streets. He stared through unseeing eyes out the window as the scenery rushed by in a blur of color.

He jumped, startled, when he felt a hand clasp his shoulder. Blinking, he turned to stare blankly at the person belonging to that hand. Slowly, his mind began to focus.

"Hey, Big Brother," the voice said softly.

Shuichi finally focused on his sister standing in the aisle between the seats in her black pinstripe pantsuit. Her long, silky chestnut brown hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail at the nape of her neck.

He smiled half-heartedly at her and indicated the empty seat beside him. Kane had taken a liking to Shuichi's lap and had his face pressed up to the window, watching the cityscape slowly dissolve into a suburban and than a rural landscape. The five year old was talking silently to himself.

Maiko sat down next to Shuichi. "What're you thinking?" she asked quietly.

"Trying not to," he admitted blandly.

She nodded in understanding. Her gaze drifted to Kane. She smiled sweetly at her nephew and raked her nails through the back of his hair. "I still can't believe he did this, but it looks good. I think Keitaro did a good job."

Shuichi snorted and rolled his eyes. "It only looks good because I was able to find someone to fix it this morning."

"Yeah?"

"You should have seen it before." He was grateful for the distraction and the opportunity to not think about the funeral and all it entailed. It did not surprise him anymore that everyone seemed to know his every mood and thought, even before he did.

"And Eiri really wasn't upset?"

"Well, yeah, of course he was, but like I said he didn't think it was such a big deal."

Maiko nodded. "But doesn't it seem kinda weird?"

"What?"

"Eiri being so-so-lenient I guess."

"When it comes to Keitaro, the boy can do no wrong. He's Daddy's little man."

Maiko snickered.

Silence descended upon them. The Shindou siblings sat in quiet contemplation, each one lost in his own thoughts.

"Guess who called last night," Maiko snorted, interrupting the silence.

Tearing his gaze from the window he had not been seeing, Shuichi refocused his gaze and attention on his sister. "Who?" he asked, indifferently.

"He called me."

Shuichi blinked, his mind going blank. "He who?" Then the answer hit him. "God! He did?" he asked incredulously.

"Yup," Maiko nodded. She forced out a laugh. "Can you believe him?" She turned her head away from her brother's questioning stare so he would not see the emotions swirling on her face.

Shuichi sighed in disgust. "What that jerk want?"

"He wants to talk," Maiko explained, mockingly. She then bit her lip.

Shuichi looked at his sister out of the corner of his eye, studying her closely. "You're still in love with him, aren't you?"

Maiko's head flew up and around. She stared at Shuichi with wide, shock filled eyes. "What are you-? How could you-? I mean, after what that bastard did?"

Shuichi smiled softly at her, shaking his head. "Maiko," he scolded gently.

Maiko sighed and hung her head in her hands. "Is that bad? I mean…I don't know. I just don't know anything anymore."

"Do you want him back?" he asked.

Maiko said nothing for several long moments. Finally, she lifted her head and rested it against the back of the seat. She gazed blankly up at the roof of the bus. "I don't know," she admitted. "God help me, despite what he did, I still love him, but…I don't know if I…" She sighed.

"You're scared."

Maiko smiled painfully. "Yeah, I suppose I am."

Shuichi reached over and covered her hand with his.

Maiko lifted her head and turned to look at her brother.

"That's natural. I mean, you trusted him and he betrayed you and you don't want to be hurt again."

"Yeah," she said softly.

"I think you need to do what's right for you and for your children. All I want is for you to be happy Little Sister."

Maiko smiled sadly and sighed heavily. Leaning her head back against the seat, she admitted softly, "Thanks, but…I…don't know what I want."

Shuichi gave her hand a little squeeze. "That's fine! You don't have to decide right now. All he wants is to talk, right?"

She nodded, not saying anything.

Shuichi could see the confusion on her face, the uncertainty and the pain, the hurt. It pained him to see his sister like this. "Just talk then."

Maiko turned to regard him with an uncertain expression. "You think I should?"

He shrugged. "Pick a neutral place and just…talk and…take it from there."

She smiled at her big brother and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "Thanks, Shuichi."

"Anytime," he smiled.

"Just when did you get to be so smart?" she teased.

Shuichi grinned. "Didn't you know? I'm a mad genius!"

Maiko snorted. "You got the mad part right."

"Hey!" He swatted her arm.

"Ow," Maiko pouted, fake tears in her eyes and grabbed her "injured" arm. "That hurt! I'm gonna tell," she whined.

Shuichi sighed and rolled his eyes.

They stared silently at each other for several long seconds before they broke out into fits of silent laughter.

Kane looked at his Otokasan over his shoulder. Curious, he crawled into Shuichi's lap. "What're you laughing at?" he inquired.

"Nothing," Shuichi said giggling. He cleared his throat in a vain attempt at stopping his laughter.

"Nuh uh! You're laughing at something. What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me!"

Shuichi shook his head, smiling.

"Otokasan," Kane whined.

"Kane," Shuichi imitated.

With a humph, Kane turned his back on Shuichi and stared out the window, feeling put out.

Shuichi and Maiko shook with silent laughter.

Kane caught sight of the long, black car with the curtains over its windows in front of the bus. He wondered about the box inside the car that carried Papa. Otokasan said they were taking Papa to the crematorium. He knew what that meant. He heard Daddy and Otokasan talking to Aunt Maiko and Grandma and Grandpa Shindou the other night. At the crematorium, Papa was going to be put into an oven and turned into ashes. Kane frowned. But if that happened, did that not meant that…?

"Otokasan?"

Shuichi giggled and slapped his sister. "What?" he asked, Kane, laughing lightly. He wiped his teary eyes.

Kane turned away from the window and crawled back into Shuichi's lap. He stared deeply into the pretty purple eyes of his Otokasan. It was always easier to tell what Otokasan was thinking when he looked into his eyes, because sometimes Otokasan did not tell the truth. That is what Daddy always says.

Shuichi looked down into his son's large golden hazel eyes and was taken aback by the fear he saw in them. "Kane? What's wrong?" he asked in concern, searching the boys face in sudden seriousness.

"I-is it going to hurt?" Kane asked. His eyes pleaded with his Otokasan, searching his face closely. His jaw was set in stubborn seriousness.

Shuichi blinked in confusion, frowning. "Is what going to hurt?" he asked bewildered.

"Papa."

"What about him?"

Kane placed his hands on Shuichi's shoulders and stood up on his knees so that he could stare right into Shuichi's eyes.

Shuichi winced as his son's knees dug into his thighs.

"I-if he's, if he's going to be in-cin-er-ated," he felt proud at being able to say such a big word, a word he heard daddy say last night, "then, then won't it hurt?"

Shuichi choked back a sob as his heart lurched. A lump formed in his throat and a veil of tears obscured his vision. Clearing his throat forcibly, he blinked rapidly to dispel his tears. He took deep, slow, even breaths to try to calm down. "No, it won't hurt," he answered with a squeak. He cleared his throat again. "It won't hurt," he repeated, his voice stronger.

Kane did not believe him. His eyes roamed over Shuichi's face. "Not even a little bit?"

Shuichi shook his head, smiling at his son through his tears. "Papa's already-gone," he admitted, his voice tight.

His smile wavered as the truth of his words hit home. It was silly. He knew his grandfather was dead and that he was not coming back, but it still hurt. He was no longer racked by his guilt, but his sorrow and his feelings of loss were like black holes inside him eating away at all his joy and happiness. That was why he had been so grateful to Maiko for distracting him before.

Kane shook his head. "Nuh uh!" he protested, snapping Shuichi out of his thoughts. "I sawded him! He, he-!"

"Kane," Shuichi called softly but forcibly.

Maiko watched and listened to the conversation between father and son in silence.

Shuichi breathed out slow and long as he tried to loosen the tightness in his throat and chest. "Papa's not here," he whispered again. If he spoke any louder, he would lose it. "His soul's already moved on," Shuichi continued, his voice tight and small. He sniffed and wiped his teary eyes with his fingers. He tried to hold them back. He could not cry, not now, not in front of Kane. He had to remain strong, or at least appear so until he could get a few minutes alone. Because if he shed one tear now, it would be the final crack that broke the dam and all the flood waters would come gushing forth. He cleared his throat. "All that's left is an empty shell," he explained, his voice tightening into a whisper. It hurt to say that out loud. It was like a knife to his heart.

Kane blinked. He stared at his Otokasan in confusion. "What's that?"

"It means," Maiko started to explain to her nephew, "that Papa's soul is gone. He's already moved on."

Shuichi smiled his thanks at her. She smiled back.

"He's moved on?" Kane repeated, trying to make sense of everything.

Maiko and Shuichi nodded.

"Yup," Maiko answered.

Shuichi pulled his son to him, setting him down onto his lap so that his knees were no longer digging into him.

"Where has he moved on to?" Kane asked in all seriousness.

Shuichi shrugged. "He might have gone to Heaven, or he could have been reborn."

Kane's eyes lit up. A smile flashed across his face. "Papa's been reborn?"

"Maybe," Shuichi said, returning his sons contagious grin.

Kane's smile widened and his eyes gleamed with joy. He bounced on Shuichi's lap. "As what? A baby? Could Papa be a baby?"

"Could be," Shuichi giggled.

Kane giggled. "That's funny, Otokasan! Papa as a baby!" He giggled again. "That'd make me older than Papa!"

Smiling, Shuichi exchanged a look with Maiko. She had a hand over her mouth laughing. Her eyes gleamed with amusement.

Kane leaned forward, whispering conspiratorially, "Could he be the baby?"

Shuichi's smile slipped off his face. His eyes widened in shock. How had he…?

Maiko blinked in confusion, switching her gaze from her brother to her nephew and back.

"Could he, Otokasan?" Kane prodded.

Shuichi groaned inwardly. He thought Keitaro and he had been asleep! Dammit! "Maybe," he sighed.

Kane squealed.

"Hey, Big brother," Maiko interjected, poking his arm. "What's he talking about? What baby?"

Shuichi cursed silently and shook his head. "It's nothing, Maiko."

Maiko turned in her seat to face Shuichi. "Come on, Shuichi! What baby?"

"Otokasan is going to have another baby!" Kane told her happily.

Shuichi winced, gritting his teeth. Double damn!

Maiko gasped and stared at her brother in surprise. "Shuichi! A ba-!"

Shuichi slapped a hand over her mouth, shushing her loudly. He glanced around the bus, his heart beating widely in his chest. Nobody seemed to be paying them any particular attention. "No, Maiko. There is no baby," he hissed quietly. He was surprised at how smoothly that came out.

"But-!" she mumbled against his hand.

Shuichi shook his head. "Eiri and I've been talking about having another baby," he explained, removing his hand.

Maiko nodded. "Oh, well," she sighed. "Are you sure?" she prodded, staring at him through squinted eyes, not ready to give up.

Shuichi nodded, blushing.

"I guess that's good then. I mean, you just had a baby. It's too soon to have another one."

Shuichi gulped. "Yeah," he laughed nervously. He prayed she would drop the subject. He was not feeling too comfortable discussing this.

"Daddy wants a daughter!" Kane proudly boasted.

Shuichi felt his face grow warm. He was not sure who he should kill first, Eiri or Kane.

Maiko looked at her brother with a raised eyebrow. "Really?"

Shuichi nodded, his blush deepening.

"That's so cute," Maiko cooed loudly.

Shuichi glanced around the bus and noticed several people glancing their way. He just wanted to die right there. "Maiko," he hissed.

"What?" she asked innocently.

"Please!"

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on! Like the whole family doesn't already know that you-!"

"I know that!"

"Then what's the problem?"

Shuichi sighed heavily. How could he explain it to her? Hell, he did not know how to explain it to himself. It was one thing for something to be public knowledge, like his "condition", but it was another for it to be discussed or flaunted in public.

"Daddy said, Daddy said that he wants a girl because Otokasan doesn't count," Kane interjected.

Shuichi gasped, his eyes widening in shock and surprise. "Kane," he cried, blushing.

Maiko threw her head back and burst out laughing.

Shuichi would be having a long talk with Eiri when he got home.

There was no proof that he was pregnant. It was just a suspicion he had. It is not as if he did not want to have another child with Eiri. It was just that so much was going on. He had a book to finish, had a new baby at home and he had the opportunity to record a new song, his first in over 6 years. Having a baby right now would be inconvenient.

But…

What if he was pregnant? Then what?

Then things were going to get a bit more complicated from here on out. As if he needed anymore stress in his life.

oOo

Forest Lawn Crematorium

"I think this's it," Shuichi heard Maiko say a little while later.

Snapping out of his thoughts, Shuichi glanced out the window and spotted a stone building with vertical slotted windows looming in the distance. The single story structure had a glass dome over what he assumed was the atrium. A horseshoe shaped drive swept past a glass-enclosed entrance with a double set of solid hardwood doors. A large black carriage lamp hung over the entrance. A well-maintained lawn and garden surrounded the crematorium. Large, black letters spelled out "Forest lawn Crematorium" on the stone façade to the left of the front doors.

The bus slowed and turned into the drive, bouncing over the curb, jostling the passengers. As they followed the hearse up the curved driveway, Shuichi felt a sudden tightness in his chest and an ache in his heart.

This was it. Tears stun his eyes and a lump formed in his throat as the bus slowed to a stop in front of the crematorium.

oOo

As they filed off the bus, Shuichi felt cold despite the sweltering heat of the mid-afternoon sun pressing down around them.

He watched as if from a distance as the same man from earlier swung the back of the hearse open and the six pallbearers stepped forward to grab the wooden box as it slid out of the dark cavern of the hearse.

Holding the coffin securely between them, the six men marched towards the waiting stretcher that a couple of the staff members had wheeled out of the crematorium as soon as the bus had pulled up. Each stepped at the same time and walked at the same speed. Either side mirrored the other perfectly. It was done with military precision and perfection. Once the six pallbearers were situated around the stretcher, three on each side, they simultaneously, without breaking or loosening their hold, turned so that they were facing each other over the lid of the coffin. They had grim expressions on their faces. As one, they lowered the coffin down onto the stretcher and then turned with a snap to face the crematorium.

A man that could not be any taller than Fujisaki appeared out of nowhere. He had dark narrow eyes that made it appear as if he were squinting. If it were not for the wrinkles around his mouth and eyes, he would look no older than Shuichi. The man had short-cropped thinning black hair that was slicked back off his forehead and showed off his receding hairline. His straight lined black suit with gold cufflinks and starched, crisp white button up shirt looked like it cost more than what his parents made in a year. Hell, it looked like it cost more than most of the suits Eiri and he purchased over the years. The man's black shoes, shined within an inch of their lives, clicked as he strode down the front walk towards them. He bowed in greeting. "Good afternoon. I am Hojo Ryosuke, manager of the Forest Lawn Crematorium. Welcome. We at Forest Lawn Crematorium want to convey our heartfelt apologies and express our deepest sympathies for your loss."

Shuichi saw his grandmother bow her head at the man's kind words. To him, the speech sounded rehearsed and phony. There was no real emotion behind it. It sounded like a speech he said several times a day, but it was still appreciated.

"Now if you will follow me?"

Two uniformed staff members that Shuichi recognized as the same two who brought out the stretcher stepped out of the shadows and opened the doors for the group.

First Hojo Ryosuke, followed by the coffin on the stretcher pulled by the six pallbearers, then the immediate family with everyone else pulling up the rear walked in an orderly fashion into the crematorium.

They were greeted with a cool blast of air that sharply contrasted with the blaring heat outside, but Shuichi did not feel the difference. He followed as they were led through the lobby into the atrium and up a ramp and down one hallway and then another, past several Tatami rooms until they reached the ovens in the back. He had taken in nothing as they walked through the beautiful building with its breathtaking hand painted murals, the mixture of traditional and modern architecture, gold leaf, marble, hand carved wood and its open, airy feeling. It was like much of the bus ride here, one giant blur.

They filed into the cremation room past fourteen ovens, which were all in use. The loves ones of Todono Ranmaru gathered around the last oven. A ceramic tongue was sticking out of the oven from a yawning mouth. Shuichi giggled softly at the comparison, which quickly turned into a sob.

Clamping a hand over his mouth, he watched through tear blurred eyes as the stretcher wheeled up to the platform, lying end to end. Without much ceremony, the wooden box was pushed from the stretcher, onto the platform and into the oven. The door clanged shut after it.

He was not sure when it started, but as Shuichi bowed deeply towards the oven in farewell, he found himself quietly sobbing. His shoulders shook lightly.

Straightening, he stared blankly at the oven, his tears coursing down his cheeks. People began filing out of the room past him. A few hugged him, some patted his shoulder or back in passing. His mother kissed him lightly on the cheek, but Shuichi was unaware of the sympathetic looks and the quiet muffled sobs from the other attendants. The only thing he was aware of was the thought that kept repeating itself repeatedly in his head.

…Grandpa is gone and he is never coming back…

…Grandpa is gone and he is never coming back…

…Grandpa is gone and he is never coming back…

…Grandpa is gone and he is never coming back…

A lone tear rolled down his cheek.

At a noise behind him, he quickly wiped his damp cheeks and looked over his shoulder. His sister and his son were watching him from the doorway of the room. Maiko was holding Kane's right hand as the five year old sucked his thumb, watching him with open curiosity. With a small smile, Shuichi brushed away the last of his tears and crossed the room towards them.

oOo

That Evening - Shindou Residence

Kane in his black suit raced up the front steps and vanished around the half-wall where his grandmother had planted a row of dwarf hedges. Making his way slowly behind his son was Shuichi with his keys jangling in his hands.

Halfway up the steps, he halted his procession with a hiss. Cringing, he bent over and massaged the back of his leg as pain-like sensations exploded through his leg. Breathing deeply, he felt the last of the painful prickling vanish. Breathing out a sigh, he brought his leg down and tapped his toes against the step. Gathering himself, Shuichi started back up the steps.

After his grandfather's remains had been exhumed from the oven, sorted and placed into the urn, Shuichi had called a taxi to take Kane and him back to the Ozaki Funeral Home where they picked up their car and headed back to his parent's house. After the awe and wonderment of being in a new place had worn off, Kane quickly became bored and antsy. Then the whining set in. That was when Shuichi lost his patience and decided to call it a night.

About now, everyone else should be having dinner. He was not sure what the game plan was. All he knew was that they had all been talking, reminiscing and catching up when he left. He was not sure when his parents or his sister would get home, probably late. His family had a tendency to party late into the night.

Shuichi stepped onto the porch and automatically glanced around for Kane. He found him crouched with his back to him in the corner watching and poking at something on the ground.

"What're you doing?" he inquired.

"Watching a bug," Kane answered without turning around.

Shuichi grimaced with a shudder. Everyone was always saying how much Kane took after him and for the most part, he had to agree, except when it came to the creepy critters. Bugs gave him the heebie-jeebies. They were disgusting, germ and disease-ridden things and he hated them, which Eiri used to his advantage every chance he had.

He walked to the front door, searching for the house key on his keychain. "Come on," he called to his son. "Leave the bug alone."

Kane giggled. "It looks funny, 'Kasan!"

"Yeah?" Shuichi slipped the key into the lock and turned it, unlocking the door with a click.

"Uh huh!"

Pushing the door open, Shuichi yanked the key out of the lock and turned back to Kane, slipping his keys into his pocket. "Let's go." He watched Kane stand up, his hands cupped in front of him. Shuichi squinted. "What do you have?" He had a feeling he already new.

Kane held up his cupped hands proudly. "A bug," he smiled gleefully.

Shuichi wrinkled his nose. "Well, put it down. You aren't bringing it into the house."

"But I want to show it to Keitaro," Kane protested whining and hopping on his toes.

"Then bring him out here," Shuichi suggested.

"But-!"

Behind him, Shuichi heard the sound of stampeding feet. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Keitaro racing down the hallway towards him.

His eldest son was wearing a pair of khakis shorts and a white polo shirt. Shuichi was not even sure if the boy even owned a pair of jeans. Dryly, he wondered whom he inherited his conservatism from. It certainly was not from either Eiri or him.

Keitaro ran out of the house and stopped before his brother who Shuichi noticed for the first time was about an inch or two shorter. He had a feeling Keitaro was going to be as tall as his daddy was.

"Look what I found," Kane exclaimed, his eyes bright and wide as he spotted his brother.

"What is it?" Keitaro asked eagerly.

As Kane opened his hands carefully to show his brother, and hairstylist, Shuichi caught sight of the large, black, disgusting thing. Kane and Keitaro huddled over the bug so closely their faces nearly touched it. Shuichi shuddered and turned his gaze away.

"It's so cool," he heard Keitaro exclaim.

Shuichi sighed, shaking his head. Boys and bugs. He liked the idea of having a daughter more and more, but then, his daughter could turn out to be a tomboy, which would defeat the purpose of having a little girl in the first place.

There was a small chuckle behind him. Glancing over his shoulder, Shuichi saw Eiri standing behind him with his arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the door with a smirk on his face.

Eiri pushed away from the door and stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Shuichi's waist. He pulled the smaller man towards him, pressing their bodies together in perfect alignment. Shuichi raised his arms and draped them around Eiri's neck.

"Welcome home," Eiri whispered huskily as he dipped his head.

"Hmmm," Shuichi hummed with a smile as he rose up on his toes.

Eiri pressed his lips against his husbands softly in a brief, chaste kiss, then pulled away to take a couple short breathes before closing his lips onto Shuichi's once again, drawing them into his mouth with his tongue one at a time. His arms tightened around Shuichi's back, his fingers splayed. The kiss deepened and turned passionate. Shuichi felt himself melting under Eiri's kiss. The spots where Eiri touched him were hot. He felt weak.

After what seemed like an eternity, Eiri pulled away, a self-satisfied smirk on his face when he took in his husband's dazed expression.

With a contented sigh, Shuichi rested his head against Eiri's chest, listening to the man's heartbeat. A smile crossed his face and warmth spread through him. He sighed again and snuggled within his husband's arms. Eiri's arms tightened around him, holding him firmly against him.

"How was the funeral?" Eiri asked him, rubbing his hands slowly around Shuichi's back in lazy circles.

Shuichi snorted. "You'd know if you would have come."

"I was sick," Eiri said lamely.

"Uh huh." And the sky was green. "Likely excuse. I know you hate funerals. You hate looking at dead bodies just as much as I hate bugs."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Eiri lied, trying to conceal a blush. Again with the blushing! If Tatsuha or Seguchi ever found out, he would never be able to live it down.

"Yeah, right," Shuichi retorted. "Just like that mystery fart that stunk up the bedroom last night."

"That was Kira."

Shuichi clucked his tongue. Pulling away from Eiri, he swatted his arm. "Eiri," he scolded with a laugh.

Eiri chuckled. "Must be that damn milk you feed him."

With a roll of his eyes, Shuichi snorted. "That damn milk" was breast milk they decided to buy off the net after they volunteered Seguchi to do a very thorough background search of the site and the donors. Nevertheless, contrary to popular opinion, the breast milk was not the problem. The problem lay in the whole milk that they fed Kira occasionally.

A squeal from behind him caught their attention. Eiri's hands dropped when Shuichi turned around and watched as Kane raced around the porch with Keitaro hot on his heels. Keitaro was holding something large and black out in his hands as he chased his brother with an evil expression on his face. Instead of watching where he was going, Kane was looking over his shoulder at his brother and the bug clutched in his hands. Shuichi was not sure if Kane was laughing or screaming.

Shuichi and Eiri watched their boys for a few moments as they chased each other and teased one another with that disgusting creature around the porch. Their laughter echoed into the humid summer air.

Shuichi felt his heart swell as he watched his boys. He was glad Keitaro and Kane were getting along. After what happened this morning, Kane had nearly killed his brother and Keitaro had been sulking and angry at the world. It was nice to see them laughing and happy together.

Leaning back against his husband's chest, he called out to them, "Alright guys." He felt Eiri's hands lightly clasp his hips. "Put the bug down, go wash your hands, go check on your brother and then we can go get pizza for dinner."

The boys stopped running around the porch and cheered, jumping up and down.

"I want pepperoni," Kane cried, racing towards Shuichi. "Can we get pepperoni?" he pleaded.

"I don't want pepperoni," Keitaro whined as he dropped the bug unceremoniously.

"Well, I do," Kane told his brother.

"I want eggplant and squid," Keitaro told his father.

"You don't even know what eggplant is," Eiri told his son.

"And you don't like squid," Shuichi reminded him. "Now, go get ready."

"'Kay," Kane and Keitaro said as they raced into the house like a herd of elephants.

"Shoes," Shuichi shouted over his shoulder as he turned in Eiri's arms. He rose up on his toes and placed a quick kiss on Eiri lips before stepping out of the circle of his arms. Skirting the man, he walked into the house just as Kane vanished up the staircase. He sighed in disgust as he saw one of Kane's shoes by the staircase and the other laying on top of Eiri's sandals.

"How was the funeral?" Eiri asked as he stepped into the house behind his husband. He shut and locked the door behind him.

Shuichi shrugged as he toed off his shoes and set them neatly besides his husband's. Picking up Kane's shoe that was using his father's shoes as a shoe rack, he placed it next to Keitaro's and fetched the other one at the bottom of the staircase.

"It was nice," he admitted as he set Kane's shoe besides its twin.

Straightening, Shuichi slipped his sunglasses off his head, pulled out his keys, wallet and phone out of his pockets and set them on the table near the front door. As Eiri walked passed him, he smiled at the man and laced his fingers with his husband's. Together they walked into the living room and sat down on the couch.

"Nice?" Eiri prodded, breaking the silence.

Well, maybe not just nice. Strangely, or maybe not so strangely, Shuichi felt a sort of calming peace around him. It was almost as if weights had been removed from his body. His step and body felt lighter. It no longer felt as if he were sloshing through quicksand in a pair of cement galoshes. While his grandfather was resting in peace, Shuichi felt at peace for the first time since he received news of his grandfather's death. "Yeah," Shuichi nodded with a soft smile.

Eiri studied Shuichi with a raised eyebrow. A tiny smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth.

Sighing, Shuichi folded his legs underneath him and cuddled against Eiri's side. Eiri draped an arm around Shuichi's shoulder. "Actually, there was a paparazzo at the funeral home."

"We knew it would happen sooner or later."

"Yeah," Shuichi agreed, "I know." He laid his head against Eiri's shoulder. "I was just hoping it would be later rather than sooner, ya know? For my grandmother's sake."

"Hm. Nothing we can do about it now."

"I know," Shuichi sighed.

They both sat in peaceful silence, enjoying the quiet. Occasionally, they heard a stampede of feet and a loud cry from the boys. Shuichi was surprised they had not woken up Kira.

This reminded him…

"Oh! Uhm…" Shuichi felt his face grow warm. "Eiri?" he called timidly.

"Hmmm."

"Uh…I love you?"

Eiri sighed heavily. "What you do?" he asked bored.

Offended, Shuichi pouted. "Why do you always-?"

"Because you always do."

Shuichi sat back and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Well?" Eiri prodded when Shuichi remained silent.

Dropping his arms, Shuichi stared down at his hands in his lap. His fingers danced around one another as he flushed in embarrassment. "Uhm, well…I uh…"

Eiri sighed. He knew where this was going.

Suddenly, the silence of the house was shattered by Kira's shrill cries. Both men sighed. Eiri in exasperation and Shuichi in relief. There was a pounding of feet and then, "Daddy! Baby Kira woke up!"

Shuichi giggled.

Eiri sighed again and pushed to his feet.

"Oh!" Shuichi unfolded his legs. "Let-!"

"I'll do it," Eiri insisted.

"But-!"

Eiri bent over the arm of the couch and when he straightened, he had a very familiar rectangular box in his hand.

Shuichi gasped. Going pale, his eyes widened.

"Here," Eiri said handing it to him.

"Eiri-"

"Keitaro was playing with your bag earlier," Eiri explained. Turning, he walked out of the living room and vanished up the stairs to the wailing Kira.

Shuichi stared at the spot where Eiri disappeared then down at the thin, rectangular, pink pregnancy test box. An upsurge of shame swept through him. Groaning, he slumped down on the sofa and covered his face with his hands.

…To Be Continued…

(1) otsuya:

Preview: "Discord, Appointments and Threats"