The Girl in White Bandages: The True Confessions of Ayanami Rei
Ch. 17 Power to the Sixth
By Sesshy's Girl 00
"Baka-Shinji, where's my breakfast? Get your lazy butt out of bed!" Cried Pilot Soryu's irritated voice.
I groaned and buried my head under the blanket. It was way to early for such commotion. The sun remained below the horizon and every fiber of my being desired more sleep. What was Pilot Soryu doing awake anyway? This was unlike her. At first, it seemed Ikari-kun would not respond and I was drifting off once more. Unfortunately, Pilot Soryu began pounding on Ikari-kun's door again.
"You have five seconds to get out here or I'm coming in!" She hollered.
I cringed, at the painfully loud sound of Pilot Soryu's voice. I was beginning to regret staying at Major Katsuragi's place. Not that I'd been given much choice in the matter. Major Katsuragi had all but kidnapped me after Ikari-kun and I were picked up.
A door slammed open and Major Katsuragi's voice rang out. "Asuka pipe down. Do you know what time it is? If you're hungry, make something yourself." She snapped irritably.
"Misato are you serious? After all that talk about getting up at 6 a.m.! Look at you, hung over and completely out of your mind!" Pilot Soryu shot back defiantly.
Agggggggggg!!
Pilot Soryu screamed out in anger and stomped off down the corridor. A few moments later, I heard another door open and Ikari-kun stumbled groggily into the hallway. He made his way down it, to the bathroom and disappeared inside. Meanwhile, Pilot Soryu returned to her own room and began rummaging around inside her closet. I lay completely still, willing my body to return to sleep. My mind stubbornly refused to comply, so I lay caught between worlds.
"Here. Get moving, Wondergirl." Pilot Soryu growled, as she dropped a pile of clothes before me.
Reluctantly, I raised my head from my makeshift bed, as Ikari-kun entered the room. He smiled wearily in greeting and turned for the kitchen. I detangled myself from futon and blankets, before following him. Ikari-kun was rummaging in the pantry, when I entered the room. "Is there anything I can do to assist you?" I inquired quietly.
"Konnichiwa, Ayanami-san. I thought you weren't supposed to eat, before the operation. You don't have to help me."
"I don't mind Ikari-kun. I am unable to shower, until Pilot Soryu is done."
Ikari-kun cocked his head towards the bathroom and listened to the sound of the running water. Then, he handed me a box of dried chicken broth and a measuring cup. "I trust you can handle this?" He inquired with amusement.
We both knew, that I was not good around sharp objects. I had the unfortunate habit of slicing myself, when I tried to chop something up. So, I had no hard feelings about being relegated to preparing the water. I entertained no aspirations of becoming a chef anyway. Ikari-kun's assistant was more then enough for me.
I filled the cooking pot with water and added the dried chicken stock. I placed it on the burner and turned on the heat. Ikari-kun nodded approvingly and then returned to cutting up the vegetables. He hummed pleasantly, as his hands moved through his motions swiftly. I lifted the cube of tofu and began to carefully separate it, into little pieces. These I dropped into the broth and I stirred the mixture together.
"Ikari-kun, did you see the Suzuhara siblings yesterday? How did things go for them?" I inquired softly.
Ikari-kun nodded and smiled confidently. "Yukari's operation went well. She was only just waking up, when I left but I think that new heart was helping her already. Toji was unhappy because he needed to leave her, for his visit with the prosthetics man. He didn't want to leave his sister, until Hikari and Kensuke promised they'd stay, until he was done."
"That was very considerate of them. I'm glad to hear such kindness still exists." I murmured in gratitude.
"It gets better. Someone must have gotten the message, that Yukari and Toji are siblings. They're being moved into the same room today. Yukari's half was set up yesterday after school by, Asuka and Hikari." Ikari-kun replied
"That is wonderful news."
Ikari-kun lifted the rice noodles off the counter and passed them to me. I carefully opened the cellophane packaging and removed them from within. I dropped them into the now boiling water and stirred it all together. Ikari-kun tossed in the vegetables and nodded appreciatively at our creation. While we waited for the soup to cook, Ikari-kun handed me a package of seaweed. I lay it out on the cutting board. Then, Ikari-kun spread the rice on top.
I added the vegetables and bean paste on top of the mixture; next Ikari-kun rolled it all together in one role. I handed him a knife and he sliced the mega roll into several smaller, bite-seized sushi rolls. I organized them on a plate, while Ikari-kun stirred the soup. He dished it out into three bowls and placed them on a tray. I placed the plate of sushi and three pairs of chopsticks beside them. Finally, Ikari-kun lifted it into his arms and moved to carry the tray out to the dinning room, with me right behind him.
Unfortunately, Pilot Soryu stood in our way. She glared down at our efforts, with distaste and revulsion. "What is this stuff? Where's breakfast?" Pilot Soryu demanded.
"This, this is breakfast, Asuka." Ikari-kun stammered.
Pilot Soryu shook her head and marched past us, into the kitchen. "That is not breakfast. Breakfast includes real, satisfying, food like eggs, bacon, pancakes and toast." She retorted.
With an impatient wave of her hands, she shoed us from the kitchen and slammed the door close. We could hear her moving around inside, followed by the smell of something cooking. I looked over at Ikari-kun and our eyes met momentarily.
"Should we…?" Ikari-kun began.
"No. Pilot Soryu is best left alone. She can't cause too much trouble, right?"
Ikari-kun nodded in agreement and we made our way to the dining room. He disappeared into Major Katsuragi room, while I set the table. I could hear him moving around and attempting to rouse the Major. After several long minutes, he reappeared in the doorway. Behind him, Major Katsuragi sat blinking groggily on her futon. She yawned hugely, as Ikari-kun closed the door. He shook his head and approached my side.
"She'll be out in a few minutes. We should go ahead and start eating." He assured me.
"Ikari-kun? I may not eat."
Ikari-kun blushed and bowed slightly, in apology to me. I accepted his words and made for the clothes, Pilot Soryu left for me. I gathered them in my arms and motioned towards the bathroom. "Unless there is a reason to stay; I shall bathe, now." I offered.
Ikari-kun gave me a smile of consent and motioned for me to be on my way. Before I could disappear, however, Pilot Soryu arrived from the kitchen. She carried three plates of fluffy, steaming, yellow eggs. With one look at her electric, blue eyes, I knew that I wouldn't be going far just yet.
"Have you ever eaten eggs, Wondergirl?" She taunted me.
I shook my head in the negative. I didn't have much exposure to western food, although it was becoming increasingly popular in recent years. There was a simple reason for this, the large amount of meat in western cooking. Ikari-kun understood my position but Pilot Soryu didn't seem to. She frequently complained about the lack of meat in my diet.
"No."
Pilot Soryu held out one of the plates for me. She smiled eagerly and motioned for me to pick up one of the forks. "Take a bite, Wondergirl. They're better fresh." Pilot Soryu assured me.
Ikari-kun shook his head and attempted to intervene. "Asuka, she's not allowed to eat today." He pointed out.
Pilot Soryu smirked and patted Ikari-kun on his head. "One little bite won't kill her, baka. That's all I'm asking of her."
One bite of egg? That didn't sound too terrible. I accepted the fork, from Pilot Soryu and took a piece of egg off the plate. I examined it critically, wondering what it would be like. Well, only one-way to find out. I opened my mouth and placed the egg inside. To my surprise, I found scrambled eggs were actually quite delicious. Clearly, I had a lot to learn. Maybe it was time to try something other than my usual fare. Of course, that depended on if I got a new kitchen to go with my new place.
I thanked Pilot Soryu for allowing me to sample her cooking, before I disappeared into the bathroom. There was no time to waste if we were picking up Aida-san and getting me to the NERV medical center in time.
I blinked sleepily in the soft light. I sighed in contently at the smell of sakura wafting through the air. The warm spring breeze swirled around me, tugging at the ends of my blue hair. I could smell fresh dirt and water in the air, mixing with the sakura. After several pleasant moments, the sound of a soft voice broke the silence.
"So you're giving up on her for good."
After a moment of confusion, I recognized Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki's voice as the speaker's. I turned to find the source of the voice and found it directly behind me. The Sub-Commander stood near Yui Ikari. The pair watched a baby Ikari-kun as he napped in her arms. Yui smiled lovingly upon him before raising her head to answer Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki's question.
"I'm afraid I have no choice. She is simply too dangerous. I will not put another life in jeopardy. I've learned all I can from her. Now I must concentrate on the other one."
"What will you do with her then? You can't simply destroy one of them…can you?"
"Of course not. I have a plan to restrain her. Maybe someday there come the power to control her beastly nature. Until then…"
"Gendo told me you had a plan to tame Unit Zero. Is there something wrong with it, Yui?"
Wait, the original plans for me were originally Yui's. I always assumed that he created me on his own. However, this made sense, Yui had the capability and knowledge to create a being like me. She'd designed the Evangelion units on her own after all. Now, I understood why she hated me so.
"Hai. I cannot in good conscience go through with my own solution. It…it's simply wrong and too horrible."
My body throbbed painfully, as I was wheeled to the recovery room. I wondered how long I had, before the anesthetic wore off and the pain became real. Major Katsuragi seemed sympathetic to my cause and seen to it thatI'd gotten extra medicine, plus a few more minutes to change. I didn't know how much of a difference that would make but I was glad she cared enough to try. She remained relatively untouched, by the dehumanizing effect NERV had on so many people.
When we reached the door, to my designated recovery room, Ikari-kun opened it for me. To my surprise and relief, he was already dressed in his plug suit and ready to go. Ikari-kun held the door wide, allowing the nurses to push me inside. He smiled encouragingly at me, as the nurses left the room. Ikari-kun sat down beside me and glanced over my new injuries with a worried expression.
"How do you feel?" He asked, as his hand covered mine.
"I'm a little sore at the moment. I think it will hurt worse, once the sedative is gone."
Ikari-kin frowned slightly and his eyes narrowed in anger. "My father's messing with you. He has no heart."
There was a time when I would have become angry, over such a statement but lately; I was beyond such reactions. This was because of my change of view. I no longer saw the Commander as a positive presence in my life. I saw how he kept me prisoner and controlled my life. He completely ignored everything, which mattered to me. Worst still, he ordered Reika's death in cold blood. Some days, I wondered if he had a heart or soul. Usually, the answer was no. I hated him with all my heart. One day, when I regained my mother's power, he would feel my wrath.
"No, you once again forget that you do not know your father. He is a complex individual." I stated calmly.
The words were like poison in my mouth but I forced myself to say them anyway. Ikari-kun needed to be wary of the Commander's fury. It was not an easy thing to be targeted by. The Commander had ways of dealing with his enemies. Elimination. I felt it was my place to protect him from that, since I was the one with inside knowledge. At least my time with the Commander would be put to good use, protecting he who mattered most to me.
Thankfully, Ikari-kun took my hint without another word being said. He sighed and leaned his head back, to look at the ceiling. He muttered something under his breath and turned to face me. His smile was calm and supportive. I relaxed instantly under his gaze. Quietly, he passed me a green bento box and a pair of chopsticks. I opened it up, to find some vegetarian sushi, two rice balls, bean paste and tofu cubes. I smiled my thanks, at him and he shrugged.
"I thought you would appreciate something to eat, before Kensuke's tests."
"Arigato, this looks delicious."
Ikari-kun waved me off and encouraged me to eat. I didn't need further encouragement. I dug into my meal with great relish. I had been forbidden to eat today, so I was understandably starved. All to soon, my meal was gone. My blood sugar was stabilizing but I was still hungry.
Ikari-kun smiled happily to himself. "Feel better now, Ayanami?"
I nodded in the affirmative. "Hai, Arigato, Ikari-kun."
"Don't mention it. We need to look out for one another, since they won't."
I smiled in agreement. None of us had a real family to go home to. So, we needed to ban together, create our own support system or perish alone. I decided that I would not live my life that way. I wanted friends and the opportunity to experience the outside world, even if HE did not approve. More importantly, I had Ikari-kun to think of. I refused to allow anything bad to happen to either of us because it would cause him great pain. I would not hurt him, if at all possible.
A knock at the door signaled the Major's arrival. She entered with her usual NERV briskness and handed me one of Unit Zero's plug suits. I knew what this meant; it was time to see what Aida-san could do. Major Katsuragi motioned for Ikari-kun to leave and began to rummage in one of the cabinets. Ikari-kun smiled at me, before stepping out the door, one of the folding chairs in hand. I smiled back as I watched him go. He never went far, if I needed him.
Major Katsuragi handed me a plastic cup, with two pills inside. One was large and white, while the other was small and red. I examined them both, before turning to Major Katsuragi for direction. She insisted I take them now, since they would help with the pain and swelling. I realized then, she must have pestered Dr. Akagi or one of the medical personnel into giving her this information. I had someone else on my side after all. That meant I was worth something in this life. The thought made me feel content on the inside. I was not alone, no matter what the Commander wanted me to believe.
I swallowed both pills the Major gave me, while she prepared the plug suit to go on my body. Major Katsuragi unwrapped my plug suit and laid it out on the bed beside me. Then, she ordered me to raise my arms, so she might pull off the shirt half of my hospital attire. Next, she took hold of my hospital pants and gently slid them off my legs. I wiggled my fingers and toes, testing how much strength they had. My reaction time was still sluggish but I was starting to regain feeling.
Once Major Katsuragi had the back of the plug suit open; she slid my feet into place. Working carefully but quickly, she tugged it up on both legs. Then, she brought it over my butt and slid my arms into place. Finally, she hooked up the back and I pressed the air release button, on my wrist. With a hiss, the plug suit fit itself to my body. I placed the A-10 neural-connector band on my head and I was ready.
Major Katsuragi called Ikari-kun in and wished us luck, before she left for the command center. Ikari-kun watched her go, with a mix of bemusement and gratitude. Major Katsuragi was an interesting individual. She was almost 100 percentprofessional at work but the opposite at home. It caused much speculation at school, some of which wasn't so pleasant but mostly it was good humored. Some days, I didn't know how anyone could maintain such disconnect but I guess that's how she managed to survive.
Ikari-kun sat down beside me and I could read the worry on his face. I placed my hand over his and tried to think comforting thoughts. "Aida-san will be fine. I'll be with him for the first test. Plus, Pilot Soryu and you will be there, to prevent anything from going wrong." I assured him calmly.
I wished I could be as confident as I sounded; however the image of an injured Suzuhara-san was vivid in my mind. There was still a lot that could go wrong, even with all the precautions in place. Unit Zero was the biggest unknown to me. Mentally, she remained highly unstable because of her patchwork make-up. I knew I shouldn't be too upset about making her, because it was the only way I could pilot; the reason for my existence. We were made for one another.
"Come, its time. Let's go give my dad a good show and prove our worth to him."
I nodded and held my arm out to Ikari-kun. He placed it around his neck and then wrapped his arm about my waist. I took a breath, to brace myself for the next step. With a grunt of effort, Ikari-kun pulled me to my feet. My knees cried out in protest and buckled under me. I tightened my grip on Ikari-kun to keep myself upright. He held me vertical, as I struggled to make my knees cooperate with me. At last, I was standing on both legs.
"You okay, now?" Ikari-kun asked, with deep concern. "Please, don't show weakness; he'll only use it against you."
I nodded, perfectly comprehending what he meant. The Commander loved to exploit weakness at any opportunity. Remaining strong was the only way to survive his gaze. I felt grateful Ikari-kun had learned this fact. He was beginning to see the difficulty of the situation. I hoped he would be more careful because I didn't want anything to happen to him. I had no doubt that the Commander was not above hurting Ikari-kun, especially since he'd done so in the past. It was only a matter of time.
Ikari-kun helped me hobble to the Eva cages, where today's activates were to be held. When we arrived at the elevators, Pilot Soryu was waiting outside them for us. It brought a smile to my face to know that she still honored our tradition of riding the elevator together. Pilot Soryu glared, as Ikari-kun and I came around the corner but her eyes held her relief. She jumped to her feet and hurried over to us.
"It's about time. You two are so slow." She snapped irritably.
"Arigato, Pilot Soryu. We didn't mean to keep you waiting." I murmured. "Where is Aida-san?"
Pilot Soryu relaxed, just slightly, at my words. "The last time I saw technology freak, he was still in the dressing room, drooling over his new plug suit." She scoffed.
Ikari-kun coughed, to cover his laughter and turned aside. In my head, I could see what Pilot Soryu described and I understood why he found it amusing. Ikari-kun suggested that the three of us go up to the Evas and see that everything was ready. Then, he would return to check on Aida-san. Pilot Soryu happily agreed with the plan, because she was more comfortable dealing with Unit Two, than the newest pilot. With Ikari-kun's help, the three of us boarded the elevator and rode our way to the top.
Pilot Soryu left first, heading for Unit Two. Ikari-kun and I watched her go in silence. We were glad; she was in a good mood and on our side. A disgruntled Pilot Soryu became unpleasant company. For now, things looked under control. Knowing this, I felt better already. Even if the unthinkable happened, there were measures in place to prevent a complete disaster.
Ikari-kun nodded encouragingly at me and we set off for Unit Zero. My large, blue twin dominated the far right cage in the room. Her single red eye appeared to be harmlessly dark, but I knew how easily that would change. Unit Zero was the original Evangelion design-Yui's second child. It was the most dangerous one of all and left incomplete for a reason, to be finished by me. I didn't blame her for leaving Unit Zero as she did. She never expected my arrival.
He changed all of that.
Now, I was irrevocably bound to Unit Zero. She was my connection…
Ikari-kun helped me cover the distance to the stair steps, which lead up to Unit Zero's entry plug. I starred up at the steep stairway, wondering if my knees could handle them. Ikari-kun looked down at me, taking in the expression on my face. He squeezed my hand and nodded assuredly. I took strength from Ikari-kun's confidence and mounted the stairs. Ikari-kun kept me upright, while I slowly climbed my way to the top.
It was easier, than I feared. The painkillers must be working. My knees were completely numb. This made my legs wobbly but I was glad not to feel them. They were easily ignored, when they no longer hurt. Any pain, I might have felt, was promptly forced to the back of my mind. So, I quickly reached the top and had only to enter Unit Zero's entry plug, to be ready.
Ikari-kun aided me in stepping over the threshold. Once inside, I leaned against the walls, tiredness making my limbs to feel heavy. The thick scent of LCL hung in the air, causing me to feel nauseous. Waves of pain radiated from my knees to the rest of my body. I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. Momentarily, I thought I was about to collapse. I felt Ikari-kun watching me, a worried expression on his face.
"Are you alright? Do you need me to carry you to the seat?"
For a moment, I was caught off guard by Ikari-kun's question. For the last twenty minutes, we'd both been acting our professional best. This was the closest physical contact we'd allowed, since the night at the Aida residence. We found it awkward to do anything else. I looked around, realizing what Ikari-kun and my subconscious knew. The entry plugs were dark and before activation, contained no monitoring equipment. It came on when Evangelion powered up. "Hai. I would appreciate it, if you would."
Ikari-kun leaned down and placed one arm behind my legs. Smoothly, he lifted me gently into his arms. I had not been held this way, since the day we met. It felt safe and secure here. Ikari-kun would make sure I remained unharmed. I relaxed and rested my head against his shoulder, trusting that everything would be all right. Ikari-kun waited until I was comfortable before he moved.
Ikari-kun carried me across the entry plug, to the pilot chair, which rested halfway down the entry plug's length. He hummed softly and the soothing notes of 'Ode to Joy' filled the air. I found myself following along, hoping the moment would last. I did not wish to return to the pain of my everyday life. I want to remain here immersed in Ikari-kun's company. This was the place I felt protected and cared about for who I was, not what I was. He loved me for me, yet I was forced to remember, I denied him the truth about me. I felt bad for keeping silent; I wanted to tell him all but I feared the Commander's response.
I refused to put Ikari-kun in the position to be harmed. I wouldrather protect my secret, than allow anything to happen. Someday, somehow, I promised myself that I would tell Ikari-kun everything. It was the right thing to do. Ikari-kun deserved to hear the whole truth but more then that, I wanted to tell him. I had no desire to hurt him but I wanted him to know reality.
Suddenly, a radical idea came to me. Dr. Akagi would know how to order the Section Two guards off for a time. When the time came, I could turn to her for help. With trepidation but little choice in the matter, I would seek out the blond scientist.
I only had one chance to get this right. After that, it became an even more risky proposition. So, I would wait until I had the perfect opportunity, before I approached Dr. Akagi. I hoped this would work out for the best. I don't know what I'd do, if this didn't work out. A broken heart? Death? Either were possibilities, as were a million probable, horrible options in between. However, I chose to hazard it. Ikari-kun meant more to me, then the Commander.
Ikari-kun placed me in the pilot's chair and I sank gratefully into it. These seats were not deigned to be cushy, however, they were form fitting and comfortable. I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment, relaxing into place. Unit Zero wasn't horrifying, at the moment. She seemed, instead, a comfortable and protective place. I could rely on her to help me and keep my secrets. It felt odd, I normally helped her most of the time, not the other way around.
"Ikari-kun, I promise. One day, you will know all."
Ikari-kun looked at me in surprise. He blinked several times and then shook his head in an emphatic no. He leaned over and kissed me lightly on the forehead. I tightened my grip on Ikari-kun, reluctant to let him go. It suddenly became extremely important, that he understand how things stood. I prayed my honesty wouldn't scare him away. I still wanted-needed- him to continue caring. There was no way I could go on other wise. He gave me a reason, a purpose, to fight for my own life, as well as others.
One might call it sad, I put so much on another but I knew he relied on me equally. I kept him sane, and confirmed his reason for fighting. He knew I'd be there for him, with care and kindness, when no one else would. That was why; I'd chosen to trust him with everything. Anything was better thanbeing alone, the way I was before.
"Are you sure? I don't want him to-" Ikari-kun's voice trailed off uncertainly.
"I will be cautious, so I don't know how soon but one day; I will show you what NERV hides." I assured him.
Ikari-kun wrapped me tightly in his embrace. His body trembled slightly with nervousness. Instantly, I felt bad for making him worry so. I never intended to cause him distress. One day, I would find the secret to getting things right. Of course, that was assuming I survived that long. I did not intend to die but I was fated to depart this life. In my mind, there was no way I would go out so easily. I intended to live, until the end. No matter what the Commander wanted.
I bowed my head and tried to find the words, to answer Ikari-kun's question. It was hard to explain myself to him. I don't know why Ikari-kun caused me to become so tongue-tied. Maybe it was because I cared about what he though of my words and actions. I preferred he never think ill of me because I needed the love he carried for me. His love was a balm for my pain and encouragement to survive. I had to believe in the future.
I looked up at Ikari-kun, what I needed to say to him in my head. "I protect you because seeing you hurt is too painful. If it were up to me, you would probably know already."
Ikari-kun shook his head. "You don't have to get into trouble for me. I don't want you to get hurt."
"Do not worry. I will not give you cause to fear for my safety." I promised him.
Ikari-kun smiled and embraced me once more. I held him as tightly as possible and buried my face in his shoulder. I didn't want him to leave just yet. I knew I was worrying too much but it was impossible. I must trust Unit Zero. Otherwise, I would be a nervous wreck.
I opened my eyes and took a quick look around. No one was watching; it was safe. Before I could lose my nerve, I placed a quick kiss on Ikari-kun's lips. To my relief, Ikari-kun kissed me back. His soft lips were as eager as my own. I closed my eyes and savored the moment, because I understood how rare it was. I wished to enjoy every second.
Reluctantly, I released him from my grip. Ikari-kun nodded and smiled slightly, before disappearing from the plug. I sighed and focused my mind on Unit Zero. Although I couldn't feel her presence clearly, I knew she was there. I believed she could sense me too. Maybe, it was a result of our close connection. Still, It was odd to be surrounded and yet not…
Time.
The sound, of footsteps in the doorway, interrupted my thoughts. I turned my head, to see Aida-san standing there. He looked around, squinting in the darkness to make out the details. This allowed me an opportunity to take in his plug suit. It was olive green, with black trim. The effect created a military looking uniform. That would please Aida-san to no end. I could only imagine how ecstatic he was, to be an Eva pilot. Aida-san would be like a child in a candy store.
"Come in, Aida-san." I called out.
Aida-san's speckled eyes focused on me. He beamed broadly and rushed across the entry plug, at breakneck speed. I tensed; feeling afraid that Aida-san would slip on the entry plug's smooth floor. To my relief, he reached my side without incident. If one was to judge, by the smile on his face, Aida-san wasn't the least bit afraid. He looked supremely confident and pleased. I wanted to take some of that happiness and absorb it into my being, so I might be free from fear.
Aida-san's eyes focused on me with concern. He studied me intently, searching my face for something he wanted to see. I tried to smile back and give him the correct answer. However, he didn't seem convinced. I straightened myself up and motioned to the companion chair. Aida-san nodded and sat down quickly. Then, he leaned over and looked closely at me.
"Are you sure you're okay? You're awfully pale."
"I will be fine Aida-san. Piloting Eva today will not be physically demanding." I assured him.
Despite my brave words, I was not fearless. Unit Zero was unpredictable but I trusted her. She hadn't failed me, yet. Today was no different. Aida-san relaxed with a nod of his head. I watched him cast his eyes about the room, taking in the details. I followed his gaze, noticing the minute details I hadn't seen since my first day. Yui's vision showed through her surviving work, despite her decade long absence.
"Ayanami, this place-the entry plug- feels like you. Have you ever noticed that?"
I knew Unit Zero quite well. I was even aware of her presence and why she felt the way she did. Our awareness, our conscious minds stemmed from the same source. My mind might be the genesis but she had begun to form her own identity. It was astounding to see what she did with it and know I began it all. The strangest part was Unit Zero's recent fascination with Aida-san. I wondered what he would think, when he noticed.
There was no time to reflect more. I could hear the gears turn and the rub of metal on metal, as the plug slid into Unit Zero's back. Any moment now, LCL would flood in, from the many vents that lined the plug's side. It was almost too predictable. I closed my eyes and counted the seconds down, in my head. Right on queue, the rush of LCL became audible.
Behind me Aida-san inhaled sharply. "This is so awesome!" He whispered excitedly.
"I didn't realize what an exciting marvel this is." I murmured.
"That's because you've done this for years. I can't believe how lucky you and Asuka are!" Aida-san exclaimed.
I almost told him the honest truth; we were not fortunate. There was nothing wonderful or glamorous about it. Our lives were heavily regimented and monitored 24/7. Hours of a day were frequently spent submerged in LCL or training in the gym. Then, there was danger's constant presence and the threat of death, which hung daily over our heads.
I didn't tell him any of this, however. Aida-san would learn it all soon enough. I had not the heart, to mar this experience for him. No one else received such an opportunity, so he at least deserved a chance. I knew Ikari-kun would agree, so, in a way, this was for him too because I couldn't take back our first fight together. It remained a source of pain I wish I could undo.
The LCL circled both our waists and was rising up our chest. It was time to warn Aida-san about the next part. I wasn't sure how much he remembered. "Aida-san, you must relax and breathe. The LCL won't hurt you, unless you fight it."
"Are you sure? It hurt last time. I couldn't breath and my lungs burned."
"It will be uncomfortable at first but if you remain calm, nothing will happen."
Aida-san relaxed and prepared to inhale the rising LCL. I closed my eyes and laid my head against the headrest. I felt a sense of calm flowing through my body. There was a feeling of oneness and connectedness to Eva and Aida-san. A sharp prickling ran down my spinal column, as all three of our minds melded together. Aida-san shivered at the close contact, finding it uncomfortable.
Hello, sister. You brought someone new with you.
I wasn't surprised by how quickly Unit Zero realized something different was going today on today. I expected noting less from my dark sister. There was a reason we were related. My mind wandered over recent events, allowing Unit Zero to absorb them too. In the background I was aware of her going through Aida-san's psyche as well. I concentrated on remaining relaxed and open-minded. There was nothing in here to harm me.
"Ayanami, I never knew you loved Shinji so much."
I blushed red in embarrassment unaware my thoughts were so obvious. I hadn't realized Aida-san could pick up upon my secret feelings for Ikari-kun. How was I supposed to explain myself to him? I wasn't sure if I could. Ikari-kun occupied a special place in my heart and I wished to protect him from the Commander. Abruptly, I realized how sad it was that Ikari-kun's own father was a threat to him. It should not be this way; parents must look out for their children's safety. I suppose in some twisted way the Commander tried to convince himself otherwise but I knew his actions to be unquestionably selfish.
"I'm sorry, Ayanami. I didn't mean to upset you. I can't hear your thoughts, only an impression of them. It's rather sweet actually, he's in love with you too."
I blinked in surprise, unsure what to make of his words. I knew Ikari-kun had feelings for me but I believed no one else noticed. Aida-san and his omni-present camera caught everything. "How?"
"The other day, after he found out about Dr. Akagi's intent to operate on you, Shinji became livid. He was ready to give Commander Ikari, err…his father, a piece of his mind. It was all Asuka and I could do to talk him out of it. I though for sure he'd go nuclear on all of us."
I could see the entire scene play out in my mind. Ikari-kun's passion and dedication did not surprise me. Their temper was one of the few things both Ikari's shared. I felt better, knowing Aida-san prevented Ikari-kun from getting into trouble with the Commander. I was immensely grateful for this. The last thing I wanted was to see Ikari-kun jailed.
That's because you want him for yourself. You desire to keep him for your own.
I was shocked by Unit Zero's blunt statement. The worst part, I knew her words were true. I might gladly keep Ikari-kun locked in world of my own but he would not want that. Also, it would be dangerous for both of us. So I did my best to keep us independent and thus free from danger. It was the least I could do for him. There was a difference between desire and recklessly giving into it.
Aida-san twitched uncomfortably in his seat. He looked over at me with a confused expression. Then, I thought I saw comprehension dawn in his face. Aida-san looked around, as if he was trying to locate something. "Ayanami, Unit Zero is happy because we're here."
I sensed that Aida-san was lying or confused about what he said. Unit Zero was attracted by one thing, his presence. She might accept or even appreciate my being here, however Aida-san was the focus of all her attention. Unit Zero combed through his mind like it was a rare treasure chest. It was intriguing to see how much she was enjoying this. I was starting to wonder how much I knew about my dark twin's mind.
The eternity of this dark palace stretched on around us on all directions. I closed my eyes and absorbed it all with a deep breath. Unit Zero breathed with me, her being resonating deeply in her soul. There was a strange sense of peace about this place.
"Man, you guys are so lucky." Aida-san insisted breathlessly.
Luck? Well, maybe luck played a small part of it but most of this was pure hard work. Maybe he'd understand some day…
With a hint of sadness, Aida-san's thoughts turned to Suzuhara-san. I had no doubt Horaki-san was with him, somewhere below us. Yukari would probably be resting with them, enjoying the effects of her new heart. In my mind, a strange thought began for form. "Aida-san, I hope you don't think it presumptuous but can you tell me what happened to Suzuhara-san's mother?"
Aida-san shook his head to assure me that he was not offended my question. "Toji or Yukari would be able to tell this better than me but I'll share what I know. When Yukari was born, her heart was defective and she spent a long time in the hospital. The doctors feared she wouldn't make it so the Suzuhara's spent every minute they could with her. Touji became jealous of Yukari and angry his parents had so little time for him. Then one day, everything changed."
"What happened?"
"A few months after Yukari was released from the hospital; their mom went back to visit a friend of hers, who was being treated for leukemia. She was doing the whole, good friend thing, right? Unfortunately, she never made it. A drunk driver lost control and slammed into her. The seatbelt failed and she was thrown from her car and pinned in the wreckage. She was alive but nothing could be done to save her. So, they called Touji's dad and asked him to bring the family down to say goodbye."
"Losing his mom, devastated Toji. He was trapped in this depressed funk for weeks afterward. Slowly, he began to change; the anger left and was replaced by concern for Yukari. Toji took an interest in her and began to take care of Yukari, like he was her mother. He made sure she took all her medications and made it to every doctor's appointment on time. He even helped his dad secure babysitters to watch Yukari, when no one was home."
"It was amazing to witness his transformation. He stopped being resentful of her and instead felt sorry for her because she was never going to know their mother. Toji's been the protective big brother ever since. The funny thing is, I don't think Yukari minds. She enjoys pulling his chain way too much."
I could see Yukari pushing Suzuhara-san around. The Suzuhara siblings were certainly a dynamic pair. I thought I understood them a little better now. I couldn't imagine how painful it had been to lose their mother at such a young age. No wonder they looked out for each other all the time.
"Arigato, Aida-san. I'm glad you told me."
"No problem. I didn't know that you weren't aware of what happened. I assumed everyone in our class knew."
We lapsed into silence and I let my mind process what I had learned. Aida-san meanwhile, returned to exploring the entry plug with his eyes. I could sense his excitement and wonder through our link to Unit Zero. He was naive and impressionable but I wished I had his optimism. There were a lot of things I wanted but could never have.
Concentrate on the positives and what you can achieve, with what you have.
I frowned at the cheesy, self help book, sounding line. I knew there was truth to it; it was so hard to follow. I clung to my hopes and dreams against common sense. It might be foolish but I needed every ounce to survive. Otherwise there would be no reason for me to keep going. After all, I knew what my intended fate was.
"I do not think holding on to dreams is such a bad thing. Reika would want you to keep fighting, no matter what. Right?"
I knew without a doubt that Aida-san spoke the truth. Reika believed in the future and her own strength. She never gave up, until her body was forcibly overwhelmed. I would best honor her by doing the same. Reika's memory would not be forgotten, regardless of what HE wanted. She was my sister and she saved my life. Now, it was my turn to take charge…
I intended to reach the end of this madness and see that Ikari-kun made it too. I wanted the future, I wanted life, I wanted freedom and I wanted love. I no longer wanted to listen to HIM or play by HIS rules. I was the daughter of Lilith and Yui. That gave me a source of power truer and more powerful than his forced use of Adam. My one shortfall was the core I lacked. I knew I needed to change that, soon.
"Ayanami-san, you don't need to worry. Reika won't be forgotten. I'll always remember her and so will you."
"Arigato, Aida-san. I'm thankful someone will remember her. I wish I could have met her, if only once."
Aida-san smiled sympathetically and patted my arm. I could sense his understanding of my pain and frustration. He started to say something about how it would all work out but was interrupted.
"Good job, everyone. This phase of testing is complete. You have twenty minutes to rest, while I reprogram Unit Zero for the second part." Stated Doctor Akagi's voice.
"Yes, ma'am." We all replied in unison.
I carefully disengaged the lines of connection to Unit Zero, ending with the A-10 Neuro Link. The entry plug spiraled out of her back and the LCL drained away. Finally, the hatch unsealed, allowing us freedom and access to the outside world. I rose cautiously to my feet, gripping the back of my seat for support. Aida-san stood too, watching me nervously. "Are you okay?"
"Hai."
I took a deep breath and walked out of the entry plug, down the stairs to the nearest bench. There, I plopped down and closed my eyes. Moments later, Ikari-kun appeared at my side. With a small smile, he handed me a stack of towels and disappeared from sight. I unwrapped them and two ice packs fell out from inside. Silently, I thanked Ikari-kun for his kindness and thoughtfulness. He was officially my hero.
Not wanting the Commander to become suspicious, I quickly placed the icepacks under my knees before returning to drying off. Hesitantly, I looked over my shoulder at the massive form of Unit Zero behind me. She stared back silently, her red eye devoid of life. Aida-san would return to her soon but I wasn't too worried. I felt that he would be fine.
I turned away from my dark sister to find Pilot Soryu watching me intently. Her blue eyes looked incredibly intense and focused. She made her way over to my side and sat down on the bench.
"Apparently, the stooge did well. I hear Dr. Akagi is enjoying herself up there."
I followed Pilot Soryu's pointed finger to the observation deck where Dr. Akagi leaned over Lt. Ibuki's left shoulder. She appeared to be directing the younger woman in her work. I shook my head and turned my gaze back to Pilot Soryu. She seemed to exude a feeling of crazy, electric energy all about her. Part of me wondered what she was planning but the rest of me was too afraid to ask. She had a type of strength, a power, I would never know.
"Hai. I imagine that the Commanders and Dr. Akagi are pleased today has gone so well. Especially since…"
I found myself unable to finish my sentence but Pilot Soryu understood. If nothing else, she remembered it because Horaki-san did. Horaki-san was traumatized by Suzuhara-san's injuries. I believe she feared loosing him again to Eva. I couldn't exactly blame her, the first time nearly cost Suzuhara-san his life.
"They should be grateful we're so good at our job. What would they do without us?" Pilot Soryu declared.
"I don't know. Probably NERV would have serious problems."
I was starting to wonder what Pilot Soryu was getting at. She never took the time to talk to me like this. There must be some sort of ulterior motive for her actions. I had to wonder what it was, as I prepared myself to face her request. I feared I would not like what she wanted to say. However, that was only a hunch. I would have to wait until Pilot Soryu decided to tell me what she wanted.
"Wondergirl, how long have you been a pilot?" Pilot Soryu abruptly demanded.
"Eight years, nine months and twenty days." I replied calmly.
I wondered what Pilot Soryu was getting at. It was true I'd been Piloting longer than her but not by much. She was becoming crazy and impossible to understand.
"I don't care what you say, Wondergirl. You've still been a Pilot the longest. That means you know the most about the Eva units."
I had no doubt that I truly did know more then her. I doubted that Pilot Soryu understood just how much I knew. More then that, why was she so interested in what I knew? This was completely out of character for her.
"Wondergirl? Are you listening? I need you to sit in Unit Two."
"Why?"
Pilot Soryu's face contorted with anger and frustration. She started to raise her hand but she thought better of it at the last minute. Pilot Soryu took several calming breaths and before speaking to me.
"They did something to her. I…I hoped you might be able to figure it out…" She stammered uncertainly.
To my amazement, Pilot Soryu's voice sounded uncommonly weak and confused. She must be truly desperate, if she was turning to me. I agreed to honor her request and watched her hastily disappear. Wearily, I rose to my feet and made way across the concrete walkway to where the stairs to Unit Two lay. I looked up at the massive biomechanical beast with a feeling of foreboding.
I only entered Unit Two on one occasion and Pilot Soryu was there with me. I was not highly compatible with Unit Two or her soul, so there was no way to know how she'd respond to me. To my disappointment, her four green eyes provided me with no answers. From where I stood, they were dead and dark. I wished I knew more about Unit Two because she was such an enigma.
I pushed such thoughts away and slowly ascended the steps. At the top, I found the entry plug open and ready to receive me. Maybe Pilot Soryu wasn't as mean as she wanted me to believe. A quick check of the setting revealed that Unit Two was already reprogrammed for me. I shook my head in compete amazement. Pilot Soryu must have been thinking ahead. This was a curious turn of events…
Author's Notes:
Wow this chapter came out rather unexpectedly. The Eva characters are certainly an interesting bunch. The next chapter will contain even more surprises. Unfortunately I can't reveal anything until the time comes Mwhahahahahahahaha!!
On a side note, you may have noticed I changed the spelling of Toji and Soryu. I would like to thank 94saturn for pointing out that I wasn't using the correct/official spelling. After some thought, I thought it was best to use to proper spelling instead of my butchered one. Sorry for any confusion.
Before I go, I have one small request: please Review, they are highly appriciated.
Lastly, the teaser courtasy of 94saturn:
"So my dear, what brings you to my humble domicile?" Kaji asked, in his usual, flip tone.
Ryoji's small apartment was, as disheveled, as his appearance. With a lecher's gleam in his eyes, he handed her a tumbler of Jack and Coke.