Chapter 7: Sweet and Sauerkraut
On their way to the next location, Team Chris was talking in the first class section. "Five challenges and no eliminations. If we were a steak, we'd be a thirty two ounce Porterhouse!", Owen said. "And Team Victory would be a tiny slice of bologna." Owen laughed, and Alejandro nodded. "Savor victory while you can, everyone. Even I can't guarantee it'll last long." "Are you kidding? With you as our leader, nothing is impossible! Heck, I'm not even afraid of flying anymore!" Owen began dancing around until the plane shook. Noah ran over and slapped him. "Owen, settle down! You may not be afraid anymore, but I'M starting to get scared thanks to you." Owen laughed. "Sorry, buddy." Sierra rolled her eyes.
Confession Cam: Sierra
"Sure, it's great that we're winning, but at this rate the whole team is gonna get OCTBI syndrome. We're gonna get so overconfident that we won't put enough effort into the challenges, and then totally bomb. OMG, I'm worried about that... though, Team Amazon might get it too. Oh, I hope they don't vote Cody off if they lose..."
Meanwhile, in the economy class, Cody and Lindsay were looking out the windows. "Ooh, I think we're over Europe!", Lindsay said. "Do you think we'll get to visit Italy? I wanna see the Malloseum." Cody turned toward Lindsay. "Do you mean the Colosseum?" Lindsay looked at Cody, confused. "Wait, it's not like a giant mall?" Cody leaned toward Lindsay and kissed her. "They have malls there. If we go to Italy, I'll try to find you some." Lindsay smiled. "Aww, thanks..." Cody blushed. "No problem."
Confession Cam: Lindsay
"Cody is sooo into me! It's too bad we're on separate teams. Hopefully we'll both make it to the merge again this season..."
The jet kept flying and approached its destination. Chris turned on the intercom. "Achtung, mein wiener schnitzels! In preparation for landing, please unbuckle your seat belts and head to the cargo hold." The teens all did so, but when they arrived, Chris was nowhere to be found. "Now what?", Bridgette asked. Right on cue, the trap door below them opened. They fell down, onto some snow on the side of a mountain. Alejandro caught Bridgette on her way down, but Heather pulled Bridgette out of his arms and glared at him. He just smirked in response. Then, Chris came down, using a parachute and a large fan to propel himself. "Guten tag, und wilkommen von Deutschland, AKA Germany", he said. "We're in avalanche territory, so you might wanna keep it down." Lindsay gasped. "What! There's a sale at the Khaki Barn!" She squealed, loudly, and a chunk of snow fell down nearby. Cody covered her mouth. Then, Chris continued talking. "To avoid a potentially fatal tumble down the mountain, and a sucktacular climb back up, you'd better stay quiet."
Chris flew off, and the teens walked after him. Lindsay looked around and sighed. "Oh, it's so romantic! Cody, wouldn't it be great to go skiing here?" Cody smiled. "Sure, especially if we could share some hot chocolate after that." Lindsay picked Cody up and hugged him. "Aww, you're sweeter than ANY chocolate!" Tyler turned to them and shouted "Lindsay, keep it down!" The mountain shook and an avalanche tumbled down to the teens from the peak. They were swept up and hurtled to the bottom of the mountain. Chris laughed and followed them down. "That was awesome!", he said.
The contestants started climbing back up the mountain. After a while, Owen sniffed the air and went wide eyed. "I smell... fooood!" He raced up the mountain and found Chris standing by a large machine and a pile of meat. "Food! It's beautiful!" He knelt down by the meat pile and started eating. Chris chuckled. "Easy, tiger. Don't think of this as raw meat. Think of this as raw building material. Over fifteen hundred kinds of sausage call Germany home, hence the theme of our most efficient challenge yet!" Chef jumped out of the meat pile and shouted "Shut up and stuff it!" "Danke, Chef. Each team must make a giant German sausage by shoveling meat into the grinder. Push it down and grind the mixture out into an oversized sausage casing, all without losing a finger or toe." "What about thumbs, are they cool?", Owen asked. "I'm sorry. Sausages? This is the most disgusting challenge yet!", Heather said. Chris smirked. "Count yourselves lucky you aren't making hot dogs. No beaks, hooves or butts in this meat pile." Bridgette threw up. "You'll have to shovel fast, or risk getting stuck with an incomplete sausage, which will be a lot harder to ride down the mountain. Of course, if you have a shiny new electric meat grinder, just plug it into our portable generator and voila, sausage stuffed in seconds." Alejandro, Noah and Sierra glared at Tyler.
"Is this gonna be a reward challenge?", Lindsay asked. Owen patted his stomach. "I hope the winners get to eat the sausages", Owen said. Chris nodded. "There will be prizes for those who make it down the hill alive. And, there will be punishment for one sorry loser on the last place team." Chris turned to Chef, who held up a small outfit. "Behold, der penalty hosen!" Chef blew a whistle. "Okay, challenge starts now!" Team Victory ran up to their pile and grinder. Bridgette looked at the materials and groaned. "Okay... Zeke, you shovel. Lindsay, you stuff. I'll do the grinding." Ezekiel nodded, picked up a shovel and got to work. "Just like bailing hay back home, eh!" Meanwhile, Team Amazon was arguing. "Forget it, shoveling meat into the grinder is dangerous!", Heather shouted from atop the grinder. "Heather, just take one for the team!", Courtney said. Heather scowled and started shoveling. "The things I do for you people..." Alejandro directed his team. "Tyler, we need your strength on the grinder! Owen, stuff that casing like your life depends on it! Sierra, Noah, let's start shoveling!"
Heather packed some meat into the grinder and pushed it down with the shovel. It started coming out the other end, into the casing, and she covered her mouth. "Um, less yacking, more packing!", Courtney told her. "Well at least I'm doing something!", Heather shouted. She pointed at Izzy, who was making a snow angel. Nearby, Sierra was making a meat sculpture. A while later, the sculpture slid down the hill. Sierra gasped and ran after it. "Meat Cody, no!" Alejandro facepalmed. "Well, there goes half our sausage." He turned to Owen and gasped. "Owen, what are you doing with the other half!" Owen had replaced the sausage casing and was eating the ground meat. "Ugh, so spicy..." He belched. "Dude, that was raw meat. Not good", Chris told him. Alejandro glared at Owen. "I have an idea... we can ride Owen down the mountain!" "No way, that's cheating, forget it!", Courtney shouted. Chris shook his head. "Owen is stuffed with meat. I say he's fit for sausage duty."
The teams lined up their sausages at the edge of a cliff and raced down the mountain. On their way down, they ran into a mountain goat. It snarled at the teams and jumped at them. It hit Heather, who screamed. "Get this thing off me!" Izzy pulled it off Heather and began petting it. "Aww, he's so cute!" It bit her head, and she screamed. "Okay, less cute! That hurts!" Courtney pulled the goat away and threw it. It hit a tree, and the Amazons kept riding down the mountain. When they reached the finish line, the other teams were already there. They walked to a large stage where they were standing, and looked up at Chris onstage.
"Congrats on arriving first, Team Chris is Reeeeeeeally Hot", Chris said. "Way to improvise, using Owen as a ride. Now, on to part zwei of today's challenge. Competitors must learn and perform a traditional German dance on this very platform. The dance mats are rigged a hilarious and painful jolt every time you miss a step, or I need a laugh. Last team standing wins. "Where's the reward you mentioned?", Bridgette asked. "Patience. First up, Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot. First to arrive, first to get the reward." Chef threw some helmets to them. "Ugh, these way a ton!", Noah whined. "Yes, they do. Team Victory?" Chef threw some fuzzy hats to them, and Lindsay smiled. "Ooh, these are all the rage in Paris!" "And, in last place, Team Amazon." Chef threw some small hats to them. "These aren't gonna suck our brains out, are they?", Izzy asked. "Now, since Team Elusive Victory is down by two, let's even it out. Amazons, and Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot, pick two people to sit out." Courtney and Gwen sat out for the Amazons, while Sierra and Tyler sat out for Team Chris. "And Team Victory, you only pick one to sit out." "Ooh, me, pick me!", Lindsay said. Chris turned to Team Amazon. "Now, one of you guys has to wear der penalty hosen!" Izzy and Heather turned to Cody, who backed away. Chef threw the hosen to him, and he groaned.
The competitors got onstage, with Cody coming up last. Noah turned to him and laughed. "How are the hosen treating ya?", he asked. Cody groaned and tried to pull the shorts down. "It feels like someone gave my wedgie a wedgie!" Chef walked up to the stage and blew a horn. "That's German for shut up! Follow my lead and nobody gets hurt... yet." Chef started dancing. "Right knee up, left arm swings. Stomp, hop, slap your thighs. Kick your butt, jump and clap."
Confession Cam: Sierra
"My grandparents are German. Schnitzel! It's too bad the others didn't pick me to dance, I could do really well in this challenge. Still... the few by the stage is quite nice."
Sierra walked up to the edge of the stage near Cody and giggled. "I see London, I see France, I see the bottom of Cody's underpants!" Lindsay walked up to her, glaring. "Hey, the only girl who should see that is Cody's girlfriend, and Cody's girlfriend is me! Back off!" Sierra rolled her eyes and walked away. Lindsay kept glaring and yelling at her. "Yeah, that's right! Keep moving, sister!" Cody smiled. "Thanks, Lindsay..."
The contestants started dancing to get some practice. Alejandro turned toward Bridgette and winked at her. She blushed, turned away and kept dancing. Heather turned toward her and glared. "Is he making moves on you again?", she asked. Bridgette blushed more and nodded. Heather growled and glared at Alejandro. Meanwhile, Owen was already slowing down. "I don't feel so h-hot..." Chris smiled. "Perfect time to test the shockers out!" He pulled out a remote, hit a button, and Owen was zapped by the dance pad. He burped, and smiled. "Mmm, smells like cooked sausage! Cool!" Then, Chris pressed a second button zapped everyone at once. "It's challenge time!", he said. "Last person standing on their platform wins the challenge for their team. This is gonna be fun!" He pressed a third button and the platforms rose about ten feet into the air.
The contestants kept dancing as much as they could, and started slapping each other at the same time. Noah and Izzy were having a slap fight, but Izzy kept screwing up the dance and getting shocked. She groaned, though not entirely in pain. "Ohhh, that's the stuff..." Noah slapped her again. She scowled at him, then jumped and kicked him off the platform. Meanwhile, Zeke was screwing up the dance, but wasn't enjoying it like Izzy was. He missed a step, got shocked, then hopped off the platform by accident. He landed in the snow offstage. "Why couldn't this have been square dancing, eh!"
Heather and Alejandro were dancing on adjacent platforms. Heather kept kicking and slapping him. "You're gonna pay for what you did to Bridgette, you jerk!" Alejandro smirked. "Oh, do I detect some jealousy?" Heather screamed and slapped Al's face. He glared at her. "You know, I don't like having to hurt a lady, but-" Heather kicked him between the legs. She tackled him and they fell off their platforms. Then, Heather started wrestling him on the ground, screaming her head off. "YOU'RE GONNA DIE, YOU SON OF A-" "Heather, stop!", Bridgette yelled. Heather stopped and looked up at her. Bridgette sighed. "I know you're angry, but violence isn't the answer! Okay?" Heather glared at her. "Fine. Have it your way." She got up and ran away as Bridgette and Alejandro watched.
Cody turned toward Bridgette, frowning. "You alright?", he asked. Bridgette nodded. "Yeah, sort of..." Cody smiled. "Well, okay... hope this all blows o- whoa!" Cody tripped and fell off the platform. Chris looked at the remaining dancers and laughed. "Man, this is awesome! One contestant from each team remains, let's see who wins this!"
Chris gave the dancers a short break and rearranged the platforms so that the dancers were in a triangle. "Okay, resume dancing!", he said. They did so, while kicking and slapping at each other. Bridgette kicked Owen, and he tried to slap her, but missed. Then, he missed a step, got shocked and flailed his arms. One of them hit Bridgette, and she fell to the stage. Izzy kicked Owen, and he groaned. Then he missed a step again and got shocked. He threw up, and a sausage fell into his hands. Izzy looked at it in disgust. "Ewwwwwww!" Owen smirked and threw it at her. She stepped backward, threw it, and fell off the platform.
Chris hit a button and lowered the platforms. "With the most disgusting victory I've ever seen, Owen wins!" Team Chris cheered, except for Owen, who passed out. "Team Chris, fresh backed strudel awaits you in first class, and as long as Owen stays unconscious, you all actually get some! Team Amazon, you guys are in not winner, not total loser purgatory for coming in second. Team Opposite of Victory, you're voting someone out."
Confession Cam: Heather
"Darn it... why couldn't Team Chris have lost? Why didn't Bridgette try harder to win! I want that heart breaking, girlfriend stealing Casanova wannabe out of here! And at this rate, Bridgette's gonna be gone first!"
The teams went back to the jet and Team Victory went to the elimination room where Chris was waiting. "I have two barf bags filled with the finest peanuts never allowed to be handed out on commercial planes due to allergy induced lawsuits. You've made your votes, so let's see who gets them! Bridgette!" Bridgette gasped. "You may or may not get one after I give the first bag to Lindsay." Chris threw a bag to Lindsay, who cheered. "Bridgette. The longer you stay here, the angrier Heather gets. Ezekiel. The longer you stay here, the angrier your host gets. Let's see... the lucky little nuisance who gets to stay is... Bridgette." Ezekiel looked confused. "Wait, really? Bridgette's the one who lost the challenge, and Lindsay didn't even try! Why am I going home, eh?" Chris shrugged. "Guess I'm not the only one who doesn't like you. See you later, Zeke!" Chris gave Ezekiel a parachute and shoved him out the plane. "I'm not done here, eh! You hear me! I'm not done!" Ezekiel jumped out of the plane and fell a bit, but as he opened his parachute, the wind blew him toward the back of the jet. The parachute got caught on a wing and he grabbed onto it. He grinned and tightened his grip.