A/N - Longer chapter here. It starts heavy but ends on a light note. Two more chapters to go after this!

Four

"No! Never!" he said as he refused to let her go physically. His body melded to hers as his voice lowered. "Never would I allow this side of myself to be seen by another and this you know to be true!"

"I know that," she confirmed. She hadn't seen this volatile side of him for years.

"Then you should understand that that is an indication of the regard in which I hold you," he almost plead.

"Let me go!" she insisted.

Her tone seemed to bring him back to emotional equilibrium and he immediately eased up on her physically. But he continued to hold her with his hands. "Yes, I shall. But I ask, at this time, that you agree to three things before I do so."

"And then?"

"And then I shall release you physically as you have requested."

She sighed. "I'll hear the conditions first before I agree."

"First, when I release you, you will not leave this room. You will listen to all I must say to you."

She thought about it. She had had plenty to say and she had to admit to herself, he had shown respect and listened. She could do the same for him. "I agree," she shook her head.

"Secondly, you will not leave this evening, if you decide you must go. It is late. You should also sleep well before making such an important decision."

She saw where he was going with this and felt like laughing at his stalling tactics. "All right. I won't leave tonight. I'll get a good night's sleep first."

He swallowed. "Lastly, you will give me one month to make amends for all of the ways I have fallen short. You must at least give me that concession."

She found herself rolling her eyes. Who did he think he was kidding? "So first you got me to agree to not leaving the room. Then you got me to agree to not leave you until I at least get some sleep. And now you want me to agree to give you a whole month to make things up to me?"

"One month, Amanda. The life of our marriage, is it not worth one month of your time?"

She was looking up into his pleading eyes. She hadn't seen such passion in them in a very long time. He had become, she felt, quite complacent over the years. Truthfully, they both had. But this might be the thing that would jar them out of that complacency. "I'll give it a month," she finally agreed.

He reluctantly let her go. But he knew Amanda was a woman of her word and she would not do something as undignified as running for the door after saying she would not. His reluctance lay in the fact that he had allowed their physical relationship to lapse quite some time ago and to touch her the way he had just now awakened his carnal side. "Please, sit with me, my wife. I will speak truthfully with you now. I shall address several of the things you have mentioned."

She sat down on their bed as he sat on the other side. Funny, all they'd done in that bed lately was sleep. She had briefly contemplated having an affair two years before. But she knew she wouldn't be able to hide that in the bond. Plus she never could stomach the thought of carrying on behind anyone's back. Hindsight was always 20/20. She should have realized her marriage was in very serious trouble back then to even think such a thing.

"My wife, you must always remember, I hold you in the highest regard," he began as he looked over at her all the way on the other side of their king-sized bed. "I know of no other female worthy of the esteem you hold in my thoughts."

She knew that that was true. Anytime she glimpsed herself through Sarek's eyes in the bond, she was seen with the utmost of respect.

"I was unaware of your anger toward me," he admitted. He gave off an almost sigh. "I am a Vulcan. This is no crime, Amanda, as you say, to be what I am. And as a result I assumed when you agreed our son would be raised as a Vulcan that you understood that meant no other influences in his thoughts or education." He conceded, "I knew it to be one thing, but you assumed it to be another. I understand now that we did not at all think of it in the same way."

She folded her arms and looked away from him. "I thought it meant he would learn your language, your customs, be a Vulcan. But I always imagined that- that on the inside he would know and understand me and my people. But he doesn't. And now he's out there with them and he won't understand anything they're doing or saying. He'll be like a fish out of water, when he should have had the advantage of the best of both worlds."

"Amanda, it is too late for me to rectify that for you. But I can give you this. I will not ask you not to communicate with our son again. You may or you may not. I will not ask. It was improper of me to ask you not to do so. I understand that now. You were most correct. You possess an intelligent mind with which to think and reason and though I respect you, I lost sight of my respect of that. May I be forgiven for at least this? For now?"

She felt her eyes beginning to water again and wiped at them quickly as she looked over at him and the deep sincerity in his eyes. "Yes. I forgive you for that."

He swallowed. "Allow me, please, my wife, to also acknowledge several things at this time."

She nodded her head at him in a 'go ahead' gesture. Her anger with him, at least, was beginning to dim.

"I have not been an attentive husband."

She wondered where he was going to go with this next. But she knew they had fallen into a rut of comfort. "We could both have done better," she acknowledged. "I know I, for my part, can do better."

"That may be," he said. "But I can only speak for myself. I have neglected you, my wife. I am saying this now not only because I do not wish to lose you, but because I realize it is true. And as such I have decided at this time that it would not be wise for us to return to Vulcan so soon. If you wish we will remain here, on Earth, for the time being. There is no business that calls me back home at this time."

She couldn't believe it. He was breaking their schedule! The man was obsessive about their schedule. To anyone else, this was no big deal. But for him, she knew it was a major thing. "Here? We can stay here for a little while longer?" she asked.

"Yes, my wife, I will do that for you." He looked at her in her Earth clothing. She was wearing a form-fitting pair of black pants with heeled boots and a body hugging hand-knit sweater. He liked the look of it on her. But he knew that to attempt touching her intimately at this time would be a mistake. "I sense your fatigue. We may continue this tomorrow evening. Have you had the opportunity to partake of nourishment?"

She shook her head as she realized she actually was hungry. "No, I haven't."

"It is time to regain your health. I will obtain something appropriate for you from the kitchen. I ask that you relax at this time while I go and do so."

A cautious warmth melted Amanda from the inside as gooseflesh danced up her body. "All right."

After a relaxing bath and some dinner, Sarek made certain Amanda went to bed immediately. He could feel her exhaustion.

As she fell asleep, a sense of relief welled up inside her. Her relationship with Spock was no longer on the chopping block. But as for Sarek, she couldn't believe she had let him see so much inside her and how angry she had become toward him over the years for everything that had happened. But he wanted to make it up to her.

The fact that he cared, though, spoke volumes to her. She was always afraid that if she showed Sarek her anger, he would be indifferent to it. When they were first together, he never handled her anger well, so she had learned to hide it.

Once she told herself that there was no way she was going to hide her anger any longer, she realized she was ready to allow things to take their course, come what may. She also realized why she had begun hiding things in the first place. She loved him so much, she was afraid of doing the wrong thing and losing him. The irony of it all was she could honestly say she loved Sarek now more than she did when they first joined. She loved him so much she could no longer lie to him about her feelings. It was a lie of omission. He had deserved the truth all along and she had not given it to him.

Though he had been shocked at the depth of her anger, Sarek had done the unexpected. He had taken the emotions, absorbed them, thought about them honestly, responded to them without telling her she was illogical the way he would have years ago. She knew she had been angry with him for so long, but she had to acknowledge, her Sarek had grown substantially over the years on the inside. And they had grown apart so badly, she hadn't even realized it. It was time to fix that now.

##

"What are you doing?" she asked him the next morning as she sat up in bed, tired. He had risen before her, obviously, because as she sat up in bed he was standing there with a tray of food.

"I have seen to your nourishment, my wife," he answered.

She couldn't remember when the last time was that he had brought her breakfast. She looked at him, confused, as he placed the tray before her.

Seeing the almost shock and certain confusion on his wife's face, Sarek felt the edges of guilt as he placed the tray in front of her. He had gone into a long cycle of meditation the night before once she had fallen asleep and he realized several things. One of the things he realized was that his Amanda always made certain that if he went into meditation during the daytime, when he emerged she had a tray of food waiting for him. Sometimes he ate it. Sometimes he did not. And as of late, he had ceased to thank her for it. She was attending him, as was proper. But she never ceased bringing it to him though he had proven unthankful. He had stopped appreciating those little gestures over the years.

He had dug himself into becoming a better ambassador, understanding others and keeping his emotions under the strictest of controls…he had even begun to dabble in the beginnings of the mental controls for the kolinahr simply so he would have greater control of his own emotions during negotiations. He did not at all intend to pursue the full discipline of purging his emotions, but it had an unintended side-effect. It had damaged his relationship with his wife by causing a great distance between them. He took for granted that she would remain with him. But he saw now that there was but so far his keeping her at a distance could go.

It was common knowledge, Vulcan marriage bonds were often dissolved because one of the partners began to pursue kolinahr. He could not understand the reasoning for such a thing in the past. But he understood it now.

"Thank you," she said almost sheepishly as she accepted the tray of food from him. "What are you going to be doing today?"

"Since I remain here on Earth, several meetings have been scheduled with the Deltan delegation while they are still here. They shall return to their system soon and there are still points that need to be reviewed so that I may represent them properly to the Federation. The meeting was initially supposed to take place on Vulcan, but since we are both here, it is more efficient to take care of these matters now."

"All right. I'm going to the beach today with Dana."

His eyebrow rose. "Dana Philo?"

She held in her giggle. "Yes, Dana Philo."

He sat there and at first said nothing. "Your friend from your college days who has a penchant for not wearing enough clothing?" he said carefully.

Amanda nodded her head and giggled. "That's her. In her forties and still fabulous."

One eyebrow lifted. "I see."

##

"Hey, girl!" Dana greeted her.

They had both met at the mutual location of Miami South Beach. Both ladies were still quite slim and in very good shape, but Dana was quite statuesque standing a full six inches taller than Amanda. As usual, Dana's swimsuit was from the Barely There collection. "Can you get any nakeder?" asked Amanda as she laughed and gave her a welcoming hug.

"Yes!" answered her friend as she pulled out a reclining beach chair, opened it up and plunked down onto it. "Well, Mandy, what's under the cover-up?"

Amanda smirked and untied her sarong to reveal a blue swimsuit that matched her eyes. And it was not a one-piece.

"Go Amanda!" Dana cheered.

She sat down in her own reclining beach chair and pulled out a skin-protect/tan accelerator mist and began spraying herself down. "Can you get my back, Dana?"

"Sure," she said as she grabbed the can from her and began misting her down. "What is up with that guy over there?"

Amanda looked. Yeah, there was some guy checking them out. "He probably likes to watch ladies mist one another down," she giggled. "Give him a good show. Rub some in!" She suddenly felt twenty again as they both laughed.

A waiter came and took their order and for the first time in years Amanda ordered one of those silly tall drinks with fruit wedged onto the side of the glass and a tiny umbrella sticking out of the top.

"So are you going to tell me what you're doing here?" asked Dana as she sipped on her blue drink. "You could have knocked me over with a feather last night when you called me up asking if I wanted to go to the beach. We haven't done the beach in almost five years! What's gotten into you?"

"Empty nest syndrome," she admitted.

"Oh! Spock's gone into Starfleet, right? I remember when you sent me your message!"

"Yeah. It doesn't feel the way I thought it would. I mean I was really sad at first," she said, thinking of all the drama that had been going on at home. "But then I said to myself, well, I can kind of pursue my own stuff now. I don't have to oversee his education anymore and… I don't know. I haven't been a teacher for years now. I mean I've been a tutor but never more than one or two people a year, you know?"

"Maybe you should pick up more tutoring. Interest in the Vulcan language is exploding like crazy. And you could really give a serious crash-course to humans going to Vulcan on how to behave and the cultural ins and outs and…I mean, I don't know. Am I talking too much?"

Amanda laughed. "No! You're not talking too much. I think you just gave me the best idea I've had all year."

"And by the way, don't think I haven't noticed, you're not even supposed to still be on Earth right now. I know how Sarek is with the schedule! What's going on?"

Amanda looked skyward. "You know me too well. We're here for now. He has some work to finish up with the Deltans and… and I just needed to stay here a little longer."

"Near your little boy?" teased Dana.

Amanda giggled. "I feel so pathetic!"

"Don't! It's hard. I mean not that I'd know, I never had any kids, at least not yet, but it's got to be hard to let go like that. I know my mom went nuts and gained 50 pounds and then lost that and an additional 30 pounds and went crazy going clubbing when I left home all those years ago."

Amanda shuddered. She really didn't want to wind up like Mrs. Philo. That hadn't been a pretty picture back then and it still wasn't one now. She looked down at her bikini. "Should I not be wearing this?" she wondered.

"Don't you dare say that!" Dana laughed. "You look great! Come on, let's go swimming!"

"Ah yes, swimming after indulgence in alcohol! I can hear Sarek now!"

##

He was in the middle of his meeting when his aide sent him a message. Breaking news in the gossip columns. He had a very uncomfortable feeling as to what the breaking news might be. But his eyes widened a fraction as a picture of his wife clad in two pieces of fabric that were the precise color of her eyes flashed up on his screen. He had no idea she even owned such a garment, let alone that she would actually wear it. "She is the mother of my child," he said under his breath. That she would wear such a thing in public! Her beautiful lean form looked too desirable in his opinion to be displayed as such in public.

He realized then that everyone had paused. They were all looking at him, askance. "My apologies. I have received a communiqué that I must attend to. We shall take a short recess," he said as calmly as possible as he stood.

##

"So I said to myself, 'Dana, just get Maya out of that house so she can see the light of day for once'."

"Did she go?" asked Amanda.

"As a matter of fact, she did. I just wish she wouldn't work so much."

"Is she still an introvert?"

"Pretty much. All she does is work and go home. She decided to start working out last year so she went and bought a home gym. She needs a man in her life or something."

Amanda laughed. "And I'm sure you told her that."

"Yes, I did. I set her up on two blind dates. Nothing. She hated them both."

Amanda broached the topic neither one ever brought up. "The last time I saw her last year, she looked the same. How is that possible?"

"Some people just age really well. But it is uncanny. She looks the same as she did when we were in college."

Amanda was distracted by the chirping of her PADD.

"Did you actually bring that thing to the beach?" Dana complained.

"Yes, I did!" she said as she dug into her bag and pulled it out. It was Sarek. "One second," she said to Dana as she engaged the call. "Amanda here," she said comically as she held her second drink up to the screen.

"And Dana!" shouted the other woman as she looked over Amanda's shoulder.

"My wife, I have received a picture of you. Be prepared. Your poor choice in clothing is now fodder for the tabloids."

To both Sarek and Dana's shock, Amanda began to laugh hysterically. "Did they get a good shot of my butt?" she gasped out between gusts of laughter. Her face had turned red and she found she couldn't stop laughing.

Dana reached over and pulled the drink out of her hand. "I think you've had enough of that," she muttered.

"Thank you, Ms. Philo," Sarek addressed her friend. "Amanda, I think it prudent that you return home at once," he said.

To which Amanda laughed even harder and then cut the connection. "Let's get back in the water!"

Dana's mouth dropped open. "Amanda! You just hung up on your husband!"

"Oh, I did, didn't I?" she said and then began to giggle again. "I'm not used to alcohol anymore!" she quipped.

"Oh my God, you're totally drunk!"

"I am not drunk, I am just tipsy!" she stood and wobbled slightly. "Let's go swimming again!"

"No, let's sober up first," said Dana. "Man, you're such a lightweight. Two drinks, Mandy?" she complained as she sat Amanda back down in her chair.

"Well it has been years," she admitted.

"You haven't had alcohol in years and you just downed a pina colada and a margarita before noon? Did you even eat breakfast?"

Amanda lay down on the reclining chair and relaxed on a sigh. Yes, she had had breakfast, all right. And it had contained all of the proper food groups for her physiology. Sarek had seen to that. "Dana, why did you divorce your husband?" she asked out of nowhere.

"Which one?"

"Both of them."

"Well, Fred was a jerk. I mean, we got married too young and well…he was a jerk. And with Eddie, it was all about sex. I mean we had great sex and that was all we had. That wears off after a while. I woke up one day and I realized, not only did I not like him, I didn't even want him to touch me anymore. That's it in a nutshell. I mean a whole lot more than that happened. I'm sure you understand. You've been married like, what, almost twenty years?"

"Yep. Almost twenty years."

"So you know, stuff just happens that's hard to quantify down to 'this was the absolute moment I decided to leave so-and-so'. I think had I have been convinced, absolutely convinced that Fred loved me, we could have made it, despite him being a jerk. He was really young after all. I think maybe he could have changed. And Eddie, well… no, it was just sex. That wasn't going to last no matter what," she laughed.

Amanda sat there, tears beginning to collect in her eyes. "I wish I could fast-forward into the future," she admitted, "and I wish I could see the outcome of whatever I decide."

Dana's eyes turned soft. "Amanda, did you come to the beach today to get some R & R from your life?"

"Well, yes! What other reason do people go to the beach!" she laughed dismissively.

"You know what I mean! We've been friends for years. You can tell me the truth. You know I'm not going to go blabbing it anywhere. Did you come here to get away from your husband?"

Amanda nodded quickly and then shrugged. "I love him so much, Dana. I really do. Sometimes I just wonder."

She leaned in close to her and whispered, "So does he. He may be a Vulcan, but I know he loves you like crazy, Amanda. Otherwise, why would he call you to warn you the tabloids are getting pictures of you here at the beach?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I'm in the forest right now and I can't see it for the trees. Is it love or is it control? Obsession?"

"Did he block you from coming to the beach?" asked Dana. "Did you have to sneak out of the house to get here?"

"No."

"See, now that would have been controlling and obsessive. I know because that was Eddie. That's another reason I was done with his ass after just two years. But Sarek let you go on your merry way."

"So what is he doing here now?" she asked.

"What?" They both saw Ambassador Sarek trudging up the beach in his very proper robes. "He must be burning up in that!" remarked Dana.

"Vulcan gets hotter than this. He'll be fine," said Amanda.

"Well he showed up probably because of your drunken laughter. The man's your husband. I'd be worried if he didn't check up on his drunk wife sitting out here half naked with sharks around! And I'm not talking about the sharks in the water, either."

Amanda smacked Dana's arm. "Ow!" she exclaimed as the ambassador reached them.

"Dana," greeted Sarek.

"Ambassador," she said back. "I'm going for a swim. Behave, Mandy!" And she took off running for the water.

Sarek sat down on Dana's reclining chair, but of course remained in an upright position. "Amanda, am I to understand you have partaken of alcoholic beverages before noon?"

She sighed tiredly. That used to be her personal rule when she used to have an occasional drink, no alcohol before noon. "Yes, I did. I kind of needed them," she admitted.

His browline almost climbed into his bangs. "Amanda, no one is in 'need' of any form of alcoholic beverage at anytime. It is detrimental to drink in this environment, in the heat of the day without proper hydration and without a security escort."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Whatever. I know what that means."

"And exactly what do my words mean?" he asked.

"It means you want me to go home, don't you?"

"Initially, I did. But I have come to see for myself how you are doing and I judge that you are well. If you do not partake of anymore alcohol, you shall be fine," he said as he stood.

"You're leaving?" she asked, shocked.

"Yes, of course. I do not wish to consume too much of your recreational time. I will see you at home, later. I shall have dinner waiting when you return," he said.

As he left, Dana came out of the water, dripping wet. "Wow, he let you stay!"

"Who was that man?" Amanda asked, almost shocked into being totally sober.

##

Sarek went back to the negotiations and tuned his mind exclusively to them. It was one of the hardest things he had ever done, leaving Amanda there on the beach, barely clad and slightly inebriated.

His wife had looked exceptionally well in her bathing suit, he had to admit to himself. He zoned out of the meeting at that point. His mind was on Amanda's finely formed hips as they sat on the beach chair. Had they not have been in public he would have gotten down on his knees and pulled her to him by those hips and explored her belly button with his tongue as he gave her-

"—so Ambassador Sarek, what is your opinion of that clause in the contract?"

He just stopped himself from startling. "I apologize. I wish to hear it again. I have not yet fully formed my thoughts concerning that particular clause," he stalled.

##

Amanda sat up on her beach chair, shocked. She had had no more alcohol. She was tanning at that moment, but when she sat upright quickly, Dana asked, "What is it?"

"My husband is having dirty thoughts about me right now."

Dana sat there, grinning, as her eyes closed against the glare of the sun. "Somebody's gettin' some tonight!" she taunted.

"Oh no, he's not!" Amanda protested as she lay back again.

"Don't be cheap, Mandy! The man saw you half naked today."

"Hmm, I'll think about it. Depends on what I'm getting for dinner."

Dana looked over at her then, surprised. "He's making you dinner?"

She sheepishly said, "Yes."

"You better give him something! He's in the embassy working hard today and then he's going to make you dinner? Even if he serves you cheese and crackers with a side of salad, he's earned it!"

"Would you cut that out!" she laughed.

"Make me proud. Rock his world!"

##

The sun was still in the sky when Amanda went to the massive transporter station across the street from South Beach. She produced her identiCard and was allowed to go into the transporter station immediately. Dana tagged along with her to the station and then went on home to her Miami highrise.

She materialized at the San Francisco station and was grateful she had tied her sarong over her two-piece. "Lady Amanda," greeted the Vulcan technician.

"Thank you, Serrin," she said as she left the transporter room and made her way to the lobby of the embassy.

She walked up the stairs and made it to her room and put herself into the shower. While she was inside, she could hear the door whoosh open. A cold bit of air intruded upon her warm water ablutions and she said, "Sarek, is that you?"

"Yes, of course," he answered. He peered into the shower and informed her, "I shall bring you your dinner, Amanda."

"Thank you, Sarek," she said with a very merry twinkle in her eyes. The beach had made her very happy and a bit exhausted. She realized, he was still standing there. Was he staring? "Sarek?"

"Yes, my wife?" he said as he came back to his senses and focused on his wife's eyes. He did not think it appropriate to touch her at that time. He could feel her exhaustion through the bond and it had been so long since he had initiated anything physical, he was uncertain as to how to go about doing so. Would she think him self-serving? Would she be displeased with his advances? When in doubt, he learned, it was best not to act.

"Is there something you wanted?" she asked with half a smile.

"Yes, I- No, I will go and bring you your evening meal, my wife." He gave her one last look and then forced himself away from her shower.

But Amanda was grinning. She had successfully made Sarek blush at the tips of his ears. It had been years since she'd accomplished that! Amanda decided to make Sarek nice and uncomfortable the way she used to, just for the fun of it.

##

After dinner, Amanda lay in bed, certainly exhausted, but for the first time in a long time she wanted to mess with Sarek's head. She briefly thought of biting him on the arm and then abruptly thought of perhaps flipping through a magazine. She picked up her PADD and did just that as she selected the latest magazine on creative art exhibitions.

He gave her a passing glance from his desk across the room and wondered if he had imagined that his wife had perhaps thought about—No, she had not. She was engrossed in her publication.

He continued to work and Amanda smirked as she looked up at him across the room. She then quickly thought of sliding her fingers up his chest and then immediately turned her mind back to her article. That time Sarek looked up and stared at the top of her head as she looked down at her PADD and continued to read.

He was becoming very uncomfortable. He was uncertain of what he was supposed to do. He had not yet had time to meditate that day. He was not as in control of his actions as he might have wished to have been. He made himself look back down at his work and attend to it. "Amanda, is your skin well?" he found himself asking. "I notice you have darkened in color considerably from your beach excursion."

"Oh, you mean my tan!" she said. "I had on plenty of block, trust me. I applied every hour on the hour. I'm surprised I tanned so well. Usually I just burn. But this time, it came out nice…all over. Do you want to see?"

He found himself clearing his throat. What was she attempting to do to him? "I am uncertain as to your meaning."

"Well, you'll see when I change into my pajamas. I might as well do that now, right?" she said as she stood and went to the closet to go into her pajama storage unit. She passed over the flannels that night and instead picked a long satin gown. "That looks comfortable."

"Perhaps," he said, seizing on the only thing he could think of, "it would be advantageous for me to apply aloe gel to your skin so that you do not peel overly much."

She hadn't expected to hear that and found herself ready to laugh out loud, but she just barely kept it in. "Oh, I don't think that'll be necessary, Sarek. I can do that myself. I wouldn't want to distract you from your work. You go on working. I'll put the gel on myself."

He sat there, growing more uncomfortable by the minute as he watched his wife apply thin layers of aloe gel all over her body. It was mixed with a cucumber scent and she sighed in relief as she did so. "That was a good idea, Sarek, I almost totally forgot about putting it on after being in the sun so long today."

He was dry mouthed by then and could only nod. He held onto his self control as he stood. "Amanda, perhaps it would be prudent for us to speak in the morning so that you may obtain the rest I sense you need."

"You don't have any duties in the morning?"

"No," he said as he tried to make it out of the room. "I must meditate," he said as he fought the urge to rip the nice satin garment off of his wife.

"Good night, Sarek!" she said with a huge cheeky grin as she pulled the covers up over herself.

A/N - For the fans of my MirrorUniverse stories, I'm sure you will recognize the character Dana. Yes, she is pretty much the same in any universe, haha!