Saw Breaking Dawn 1 on Friday. I think it was the best movie in the series thus far. The others were so bad. Was it me or did Taylor carry this movie? He was the best actor on the movie.

24. Start back at one

Skye

"Yes Edward, it's me."

"Oh god Skye, I'm so glad you called. I was so worried about you."

"Were you?"

"Of course I was. I was frightened when I couldn't find you. You weren't exactly in the right state of mind to be riding a motorcycle cross country."

"I was in the state of mind you put me in." I said trying to hold back my tears.

"I know and I take full responsibility." He sighed. "I just wish I could go back. I wish..."

"Well I wish for a lot of things too, Edward." I interrupted. "Like a husband that would be faithful to me. One whose love couldn't be swayed by another simply because she reminded him of his ex. I wished for a man who would love me and only me beyond reason. But we don't always get what we want, now do we?"

"I am the man that you've wished for. And I do love you beyond reason. You know that. But I made a mistake. A big mistake. One that I plan on spending the rest of my life fixing if you'll just forgive me. Please baby, please come home and just talk to me."

"I can't. I'm not ready to deal with this or you yet. I only called to let you know that I was okay and to check on the kids." I said trying not to let him hear the tears in my voice. "So, how are they?"

He didn't speak for a moment and I knew that he'd heard my despair. But instead of trying to comfort me and make me feel uncomfortable he said, "They're fine. They miss you of course. They want to know where you are and when you'll be home."

"And what did you tell them?" I sniffed not able to stop my nose from running.

"I told them that we'd had a fight and that you were upset with me. I told them that I didn't know when you would be home but that you would be."

"You told them we fought?"

"Our children are very perceptive, so they already have some idea of what's going on. Lying to them would only make them not trust me."

"How are they handling things?"

"Honestly, not very well. The twins aren't speaking to me. Lisette can't sleep. And she asked me tonight if we were getting a divorce."

"Oh my god. What did you tell her?"

"I told her not if I had anything to with it. What should I have told her?" He inquired.

"I...I don't know. I don't know what I want right now. I need to think. But I'll call them tomorrow and talk to them." I said placing my head in my hands.

I needed to go home. My children needed me. What had I been thinking running away like that?

"Listen, I'll be home by the weekend but..."

"Oh thank god. I swear you won't regret it. We'll work..."

"Edward, stop and listen to me." I waited. "I'm not staying with you. The kids and I are going to move out."

"Where will you go?"

"To my Dad's or to my cabin."

It took a minute for his reply. It came with an exhausted sigh, "No, you come here and I'll go stay with Colin in the cabin. It's not big enough for you and the kids there. And they're in the middle of the school year. I don't want to uproot them. This is my mess and I bought that house for you so I should be the one to leave."

"Well what are you going to do when you have the kids? You are planning on seeing them, right?"

"Of course I am. I can't be without them any more than I can be without you."

"Edward..." I sighed.

"I'm sorry. I was just answering your question." His voice shrunk and I closed my eyes. I'd reached my limit. I was on overload.

"Look, I need to go. How about we work something out with the kids when I get there."

"Alright." He said softly. Defeated.

"Bye."

"Goodnight."

I hung up and completely lost it.

0~~~~~~~~~~~~~0

Jake stuck his head in the door. "Skye you alright. I couldn't help but over hear."

I shook my head and put my hand up. I wasn't in the mood to talk.

"Okay, I'll just be going then." He turned to leave.

"Wait Jake, I don't mean to dismiss you; especially after you stood up to Edward for me. I'm just not in a good place right now."

"I understand and I get it. You can stay here as long as you need to," he smiled, "but can I say one thing?"

I gestured for him to continue.

"I know that you're super pissed right now and you'll probably be super pissed at me after I say this, but I have to speak my peace. I know Edward has fucked up and I know that he's hurt you, probably worse than you've ever been hurt before or ever will again."

"Is this supposed to be helping?" I stared at him.

"I'm just saying that I think you need to understand that Ed isn't perfect."

"No shit." I stood up to leave.

"Skye, please hear me out." He blocked the entrance.

I sighed and sat back on the bed.

"I've been around this family a long time and the one thing that seems to be a constant is their dependency on Edward. They all look to him to keep themselves grounded and in check, even the Doc. Hell, I've even found myself asking on occasion, 'What would Edward do?'." He looked at me. "I think he's told you the story of him, Bella and me."

I nodded.

He shook his head. "I loved Bella. I truly did. But Ed, he loved her more. And you know how I know? When it really clicked for me?"

I shook my head.

"It was when he told me that he was willing to let her go. I know it sounds stupid. But he was willing to leave the only thing that made his life worth living in the hundred years he'd been on this earth, so she could have a happy, normal life with children and family. I however wasn't so willing. I was ready to fight him for her to the bitter end, which would've killed Bella. He always thought of her first and himself second." He sighed. "The man was even willing to let us…you know…after they were married so she could have a child."

My eyes widened. "What?"

"He didn't tell you that, huh? You can never tell Nessie, but when they found out that Bella was pregnant, Edward rushed her back to Carlisle not to help her, but to terminate the pregnancy. He was scared the fetus would kill her, but she wouldn't listen. She couldn't and wouldn't kill anything that was a part of Edward. So he enlisted my help with an offer I couldn't refuse. Long story short, Bella saw right through me and it didn't happen. And thank god for that, because where would we be now if it had?

"My point is this. Edward is a good man. A great man even. There's no denying that fact. But even great men make mistakes and stupid decisions. I don't know what the hell Edward was thinking. It honestly doesn't even seem like this would even be something he'd ever do. But unfortunately he did. And if I know Edward, which I'm pretty sure I do, this is hurting him just as much as it's hurting you."

"I doubt that." I fell back.

"Skye, I saw first hand the relationship that developed between Edward and Bella. I was an integral part of it, and I can honestly say that what you two have has exceeded beyond that. So trust me when I say that this is killing him."

"Jake, you don't..."

"I'm just saying that it can't be easy to be Edward. To have so much expected of you only to have your every mistake, big and small, pointed out to you as a failure. The man has the world on his shoulders, yet he still manages these amazing feats as a man and a vamp, which I think is the reason we all expect so much from him. But men are flawed, and underneath that tough vampire exterior, is a man. I didn't always agree that this was the case when it came to vamps, but Edward has completely changed my mind. He may not be completely human, but what counts, his heart, and spirit, are as human as anyone can get. And he will make mistakes, and do stupid shit in the name of love and apparently lust, but if anyone is worthy of forgiveness, isn't it Edward?"

"What are you saying? That I should just forget this ever happened?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying. Forgiveness is two sided. You both will benefit from it if you can find it in your heart to forgive him. It obviously is weighing on your heart, why let it continue to bring you down?"

I ran my hand through my wet hair and looked down. Did I look that bad? He grabbed my hand.

"Stop it, you look beautiful. I'm just saying that the pain you're feeling is written all over your face. And I know it will take time, but forgiveness can set you both free. And who knows, once you take that first step, maybe others will follow."

"I don't know if I can. I don't know if I even want to. It feels like a part of me has died."

"It feels that way right now because the wound is so fresh. Give it some time.

"And like I said before, you're welcomed stay here as long as you need. Don't worry, I'll keep Ed away."

I looked at him.

"Thank you, but I think I'm going to go on home. My children need me."

He nodded.

"Alright, but stay and rest up for a couple of days before getting back on the road. It's a long way to New Orleans and you can't be sleep deprived."

I nodded slightly in agreement then yawned softly as I lay back.

0~~~~~~~~~~~~0

Edward

It was now April and it had been three months since everything happened. Skye had come home from La Push that Friday as she said she would but she had also kept her word about me not staying with her as well. So I'd been bunking with Colin at the cabin, getting the kids every weekend, and throwing myself into my practice and this search with the Council to keep my mind off of things. At least she hadn't asked me for a divorce.

"Edward. Edward…"

I turned and looked at her.

"Thanks for picking the kids up early. I really need to get this inventory done today," she said handing Stevie and his bag off to me.

I nodded and stared at her. She had her hair pulled up into a high messy bun and the short hairs that framed her face curled loosely at her temples. She had on this body hugging, snow white, off the shoulder, angora cable knit sweater dress that made her skin glow and black and white, snake skin, Jimmy Choo, knee length, stiletto boots.

"In that?" I asked before I could stop myself.

She looked up at me. "Don't start, Edward."

She walked across the room to grab her keys and I watched her ass with one brow raised. I really, really missed that.

"Eyes up here." She glanced over her shoulder at me.

I smiled crookedly. "I can't help it. And all I'm trying to say is, you're dressed a little sexy for inventory, don't you think?"

She smiled back. "I work in a bar. It kinda comes with the territory. Besides, when I'm there sometimes I have to work the bar or I'll sing."

She walked toward the door and as she passed me I took her hand. Our eyes met.

"I knew getting you that place would come back to bite me in the ass." I teased and pulled her a little closer.

Her eyes swept over my face and ended on my mouth. I took it as a sign and pulled her closer.

She went ridged.

"Edward, I can't. I'm not ready." She looked away, but didn't pull away.

"Please look at me," I said softly and her eyes met mine again. "I understand…and I'm here when you are ready."

I gave her a little squeeze, pressing her body to mine.

"I love you and I'll do whatever I have to do to make things right again. I'll wait forever if that's what it takes."

She closed her eyes. "It won't take forever."

"Really?" I stroked her cheek, my mood brightening considerably.

"Yes, really." She rolled her eyes playfully.

I brought her hand to my lips and kissed it. She blushed then softly pulled away.

"I need to get going. Can you lock up?" She asked heading for the door.

I nodded and I smiled when the door shut. She wanted me; I could feel her body responding to me. I was slowly breaking her down.

"We're ready, Daddy." Lisette smiled as she descended the stairs.

"Where's your bag, Princess?"

"EJ, has it." She pointed to the twins now coming down behind her.

"Good evening, you guys ready to go?"

"Sure." They responded in unison.

They were still a little upset with me because they now understood what had transpired and I had hurt them by hurting their mother. They took it personally, felt her pain, and wanted to protect her, just as I had always taught them to do. I couldn't be angry with them for that. At least they were speaking to me now. Even if it was only in response to questions and answered in single words. It was better than before, when they couldn't even stand to be in my presence. With them it was baby steps as well.

"Okay, put the bags in the trunk and we'll go."

0~~~~~~~~~~~~~0

I walked onto the porch and sat next to Colin on the step.

"You finally get him to sleep?"

"Yeah, he's out for the night. Thanks for giving up your room again."

He laughed.

"It's not like I need the bed." He smiled, "Unless of course, I bring a lady friend home."

"Just don't bring her here when my kids are over," I laughed. "What am I saying? You're not going to find a female vamp in these parts unless she's family."

"Who says she's going to be a vamp. I'll date a human."

I looked at him.

"That may not be a good idea right now, C. It could take years before your ready to...go there."

He laughed.

"Go where?"

I looked at him.

"Oh, you mean into that warm, sweet, wet, human pus…"

"Colin!"

He laughed louder.

"You are so funny, Ed. I know it's going to take time. And lots of practice." He smiled.

"I really don't want to talk about this right now." I smiled. "You know I haven't had any…pussy…" I whispered, "…in forever."

"So Skye's still not going for it, huh?"

"Man, today when I picked up the kids I thought she was going to let me kiss her. And kissing with us almost always leads to more."

I leaned forward and sighed. "She pulled away at the last minute though. I was this damn close." I gestured with my fingers.

He slapped me on my back. "Don't worry, she'll come around. You two have history. Lots of it and it's real shit. Stuff people write stories and poems about. And she loves you. You know she does."

"I do, but even if she forgives me and lets me come back home, I'm not sure if things will ever be the same. I'm afraid that there will always be a wedge between us now."

He shrugged. "Only if you let it be. Don't let be an issue, for her or for you."

"Well first I need her to forgive me first. Then we'll go from there."

We sat on the porch for another hour or so talking about this and that before I decided to go and check on the kids. I checked on the twins first and then Lisette and Etienne, who were curled up on Skye's old bed, tangled in the sheets. I grabbed my jacket and car keys and headed down the stairs. Colin was sitting in living room watching a movie.

"I'll be back in a few." I told him. "Thanks again for keeping an eye on them."

"No problem."

0~~~~~~~~~~~~~~0

Skye

I sat on a liquor crate and let out a heavy breath. What was I thinking wearing four inch heels to do inventory in? I shook my head and unzipped my boots before slipping my feet out of them. They seemed to relax the second I freed them from their confinements. I placed them flat on the cool, concrete, storeroom floor and closed my eyes. Edward's face popped into my mind. He was so close to me this afternoon that his scent was still invading my senses. It was all over my clothes.

It had been awhile since I allowed him to be that close to me. That first month after I returned was hell. I couldn't even stand to be in the same room with him let alone have him touch me. But that was months ago, and it's been awhile since I've had any kind of release. Edward I'm sure knows this. Just as he knows that he is my one true weakness. If I'm not careful, he'll have me pinned beneath him screaming his name the first chance he gets. Yes, distance was a must with him right now. It was the entire reason that I'd been spending all my free time working at the bar. I needed something to occupy my mind and free time.

A knock at the door broke my concentration.

"You're up, cher!"

"I'll be right out, Remy!"

I grabbed my boots and carried them in my hands out the storeroom. I tossed them to Renee, the barmaid, as I headed toward the stage. As I stepped on the stage the bar went silent and all eyes focused on me. I grabbed the mic from the stand and ran my fingers through my hair. This would be my first appearance since Edward and I split.

The house lights went down and a dim spotlight came up. I let out a soft breath and my heart slowed. I closed my eyes and smiled. This is where I felt most at home; up here, on the stage, ready to pour my heart and soul into song.

I opened my eyes and scanned the room. It gave me a high to see the anticipation on the people's faces. Most had been here waiting all night for me to take the stage. And the others had just filed in. Word had spread fast.

Usually when I'm here I'd perform much earlier so I can get home at a decent hour. But It was late and it warmed my heart to see nothing but standing room available when I took the stage at two in the morning.

"Good evening. Or should I say morning. How's everyone feeling tonight?"

Whistles and praises filled the candle lit darkness and I chuckled.

"Glad to hear that. As y'all know this is the last set of the night. The band and I will be going home after this but you're welcome to stay a few more hours and listen to jukebox." I spoke into the mic and the crowd booed . "Listen, we gotta rest up so we can be here tomorrow night for y'all." I smiled. "Wow, it's been a little while since I've been up here, but it feels good to be back where I belong. And y'all have to forgive my appearance tonight…" I gestured toward my bare feet, "...I've been on my feet half the day and my boots were doing a number on my toes."

"I can take care of that for you! Be my pleasure!" A male voice rang out and I and the crowd laughed. He must've been new in town.

"I'm sure you could. But I don't think my husband would take too kindly to that. I thank you anyway."

The gentleman caller whistled in response as I searched the room for said husband. And there he was, as always when I performed, tucked in the corner, his regular spot, cloaked in darkness. I smiled then he blew me a kiss and raised his bourbon filled glass in salute to me. No matter what was going on between us, I knew he'd always be there.

I cleared my throat. "Tonight I'm going to start off with my rendition of Adele's 'Don't You Remember'."

I closed my eyes…

"When when I see you again... you left with no goodbye, not a single word was said…"

I opened my eyes and saw that everyone was entranced in the song, in my voice. Every eye and every mind was focused on me. Especially Edward's, he was leaning forward on his elbows, his face dimly lit by the candle. He was tragically beautiful and I wanted so badly to go to him. I wanted to feel his hands and mouth on my skin. I wanted his strong arms to embrace and hold me up. I wanted to lose myself in his love. But I couldn't. My heart wouldn't allow it; it no longer felt safe with him and I had no clue how to get that back.

Before I knew it the tears were falling and my pain was pouring into the song. I couldn't stop it. I chanced a glance at Edward but he was no longer there. My heart sank and the tears flowed freely. I had to stop twice but I finished my set.

0~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~0

After the set I grabbed my boots and told everyone at the bar goodnight. I walked slowly to the alley behind the bar barefoot with my mind going a mile a minute. My life was in shambles and I had no god damn clue how to fix it. I looked up to the stars and found the one I wished on as a child.

"There you are old friend. It's been awhile." I chuckled. "You know, if you don't mind or are not too busy, a little guidance would be lovely. Perhaps wish or two." The star just twinkled and I shook my head. "Skye, you are so losing it. Wishing on stars and shit. You are not thirteen anymore."

"No, you certainly are not." Someone replied.

I spun around quickly. The heckler from the bar was leaning against the wall with one foot propped up. He reeked of booze and cigarettes but was otherwise well dressed. I quickly read his ignorant thoughts.

"Look, I told you in the bar that your services were not required. I'm married with four children. Please go find someone to harass."

I continued toward my car. He kicked off the wall and grabbed my arm.

"I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed watching you sing. You are a beautiful woman."

"Well thank you but I need to get going." I pulled my arm free.

He reached out for me again but was snatched away and slammed against the wall. If I would've blinked I would've missed it.

"Is there a reason you're touching my wife?" Edward growled pressing the man into the wall.

"I…I was just telling her how much I enjoyed her singing." The man gasped.

"That requires you touching her!"

"I…I'm sorry."

I touched Edward's shoulder. "Edward, he gets it. Let him go."

"I don't like it when other men touch my wife. Do you understand?"

The man nodded so hard I thought he'd lose his head.

"Good, get your ass away from here."

He dropped the man and he fell to the ground choking.

"You could have killed him." I warned.

"I should have killed him."

The man looked up astonished and started to crawl away on hands and knees.

I looked at the man. "You better move faster. He has a terrible temper."

The man got up and half ran and half crawled out the alley.

"He'll never come back you know. I just lost a patron. Possibly more when he tells his friends that you roughed him up."

"He won't tell his friends. He won't want them to know."

"Edward."

"He'll come back. It's just the next time he comes he'll just listen to you sing and won't be stupid enough to try anything else."

"I could have handled him."

"I know but you didn't have to."

I walked around to the driver's side of the Hummer.

"Well thanks."

"You're welcome."

I opened the door and was about to climb in when he spoke again.

"You sang beautifully tonight. Like always of course."

"Well thank you, but how would you know how well I sang? You left during the first song." I rolled my eyes and climbed into the truck.

He flit to the driver's side and stopped me from shutting the door.

"I left the bar because I had to. I hated seeing you hurt. But believe me when I say that I heard you, Angelique. Every word, every note, every crescendo, and every thought you had, I heard." He reached out and touched my face. "You don't have to handle this on your own. I'm here, and I share your pain. Every time I look at you, the hurt in your eyes, knowing I put it there, that it's my fault, hurts me. Every time I drop my children off and have to leave our home, it fucking kills me. And every time I go to touch you and you pull away, feels like you you're ripping my heart from my chest."

I looked up at him.

"I love you, Angelique. And I am so sor…"

"Edward don't." I tried to pull away but he held me gently.

"No, Angel, I'm going to say this. And you're going to listen, because it's time." He stroked my cheek and I looked in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry for what I've done. I'm sorry for the pain that I caused you. And I'm sorry for the pain that I've caused us. I honestly don't know what came over me. But I did what I did and I can't take it back now. I made a mistake. And I didn't realized until it was too late that the cost I'd have to pay was too high. It is costing me everything that I've ever loved.

"But I want to make it right. Please let me make this right. I know that it's not too late for us. Tell me you love me and it's not too late." He begged.

I rolled my eyes up to the sky and took a deep breath.

It was a clear, crisp night with a bright full moon. It was a night perfect for hunting, or making love. Then something flashed in the sky drawing my attention. It was my star. The one I'd wished on. The one that I was convinced brought Edward to me. It was a sign. I knew it. I felt it.

I looked at him through my tears and he was staring at me, waiting on abated breath for my reply.

When I didn't speak he dropped to his knees and closed his eyes, his head drooping.

"Edward…" he didn't move.

"Edward." I lifted his head.

He stared at me with a defeated look. "What will I do without you?"

"Edward, it's not too late."

He just stared. I pulled his arm to let him know that I wanted him to stand.

"Did you hear me? It's not too late."

"On the stage you said that you didn't trust me. That your heart wouldn't let you."

"You heard that?" I asked perplexed.

He nodded. He was getting way too good at reading me even though I was blocking.

"It's just. I don't know how to forgive you, or how to forget. I don't know how to let it go. I know that you love me, Edward. That's not the issue."

"What is it then? Tell me what it is so I at least know where to start, because right now I'm clueless."

"I don't feel secure in us anymore. I'm scared that you love her more. How fucked up is that?"

"Love who more?"

"Bella, Edward, why am I still competing with a ghost? I thought we'd gotten past this."

"We have and you're not competing with anyone or anything. You are my everything and there's no competing with that. But it's my fault that you feel this way. I accept it and I understand that it is up to me to earn your trust again. And I will. Just give me the chance. Give us a chance. Can you do that?"

I nodded and he moved closer to me.

"Was that a yes?" He lifted my chin and wiped my tears.

"Yes, Edward. I'll try."

"I won't disappoint you ever again."

He moved very slowly lifting me from the car, and before I knew it I was in his arms and we were kissing. My hands were tangled in his hair and his were on my ass, but the kiss was slow and sweet. It was filled with passion, and was heartfelt and warm. It set my soul on fire.

"Baby, I've missed you so," he said as he placed me on the hood of the truck.

"Me too." I managed to say as I pulled him back to me.

He responded by kissing me again and running his hands up my thighs taking the hem of my dress with them. I placed my hands on top of his softly and stopped them.

"What's wrong?" He asked against my lips.

"We can't. I need to take things slow."

"But it's been so long since I've felt you. I need you so badly." He caressed my ass.

"It's hard for me too, trust me. But I'm thinking with my heart and head." I rubbed his chest. "We need to go slow. Start at square one and build things between us back up."

He pulled away.

"How slow?" He asked.

"I'm serious. If you really want us to work things out, this is how it needs to happen."

"So what does starting at square one mean exactly?"

"It means you get your chance to prove yourself to me. And it means that there will be no loving until I'm emotionally ready to handle it."

He lifted me off the Hummer and kissed me softly.

"I'll do whatever it takes."

He sat me in the driver's seat.

"I need to go and relieve Colin."

I nodded.

"Je t'aime," he whispered as he ran his lips across mine.

"I love you too," I said kissing him. "Promise me everything will okay."

He ran his hand over my head.

"Je vous promets, Angelique."