Chapter 18: Aftermath C

It's the Total Drama World Tour Aftermath Show! The cameras turned on to show the cheering audience, then zoomed in on the stage, which was dark except for two moving spotlights. "Attention, Total Drama Fanatics! Forget the Aftermath, this is Total Drama After-Mayhem!" Justin walked onstage and into the spotlight, with Beth following him. "I'm your co-host, Justin." "And I'm Beth!", Beth added. "And over there is the peanut gallery!" One of the spotlights moved over to the bleachers on the side of the stage, where the rejects and losers from earlier Aftermath episodes were sitting. The audience cheered. "And, good news! Our obnoxious, self centered roving reporter Blaineley is finally gone!", Justin announced. The audience cheered louder. "Yes, Blaineley is off on a tour of potential new franchise locations for the world tour, and is meeting with a Total Drama contest winner at each country she visits. Oddly enough, she's gonna be meeting one of her own fans!" "I didn't even know she HAD fans." "Neither did I, Beth." "Hey, I heard that!"

Suddenly, Blaineley walked onstage. The audience gasped, as did Beth and several members of the peanut gallery. Justin raised an eyebrow. "Wait, aren't you supposed to be in another county somewhere?" Blaineley nodded. "Yes, yes I am. But, surprise, I'm back, ready to co-host another Aftermath!" "But I thought you wanted out of your contract so you could-" "Bail on this dork train before my career is flushed down the bathroom confessional toilet of life? Turns out if the live show runs long, I don't get paid, and if I try to leave the show for any reason other than being fired or injured on set, I'll get sued." "That can be arranged", Justin said. "Nice. Almost makes me wish the producers HAD sent me on tour instead of an intern. Almost. Okay, on with the show!"

Blaineley got up to walk away, but Beth grabbed her arm. "Hang on a second! I just talked to our producers before the show, and they said you'd be sending a video feed live from Siberia today!" Blaineley smirked. "Well, I'm not there, but I can get out a video feed." She picked a remote up from the table, pressed a few buttons, and the TV above her turned on. It showed a blurry, glitchy video feed of a girl in the snow. "How's it going, intern?", Blaineley asked. The intern tried to talk, but her teeth were chattering too much. "Why is she there instead of you?", Justin asked. "I don't know! All I did was take her to the airport, slip my passport and ticket into her purse, and help her get past security to board the plane." "I don't get it, why were you so opposed to going to Siberia?", Justin asked. Right on cue, an avalanche appeared on screen and the video feed ended. "Oh."

"Alright, come on, I've got a show to host!", Blaineley said. Beth glared at her. "You are a MONSTER." Blaineley shrugged. "Meh. Been called worse." The audience booed and Beth stormed off. "So, for those of you just joining us, welcome to a fresh, new segment of Total Drama Aftermath! And speaking of stars, I'm your one and only host, Blaineley Stacey Andrews O'Halloran!" The audience didn't cheer. "You're too kind. Now, let's meet tonight's special guests. He's the first Total Drama contestant to quit, re-join the game and then lose, Duncan!" Duncan walked onstage, scowling, while the audience cheered. "Next, she's the biggest, and quite possibly the tallest, Total Drama super-fan in the world, Sierra!" Sierra ran onstage, squealing and giggling, while the audience cheered. She turned and waved at them. "Hello, everyone! It's great to be here! I love you all!", she shouted. "And our final loser got on board with twice her weight in lip gloss, and left the competition with a big new grudge. Everyone's favorite dumb blonde, Lindsay!" Lindsay walked onstage, smiling and blowing kisses at the cameras. Then she saw Sierra and glared at her.

Blaineley sat down on the couch in the middle of the stage and picked up the remote again. "Before we start asking questions, here's a segment of That's Gonna Leave a Mark!" She turned on the TV and it showed several clips from the show, including Noah being attacked by a pack of corgis, Owen being shot out of a large tube during the area fifty two challenge, an emu trying to eat Noah, and Lindsay fighting with Sierra. The audience laughed and the clips stopped rolling. "It's time for me to announce our big surprise", Blaineley said. "Tonight, Total Drama Aftermath is holding the very first ever Total Drama Second Chance Challenge!" The peanut gallery cheered. "That's right! Our motley collection of Total Drama losers just got totally lucky, cause they're about to compete for a second shot at that million dollar prize! What do you say, Duncan? You ready to get back on the plane?" Duncan smirked. "Sounds good to me."

Two interns walked onstage, holding some odd guns. "Five of you rejects are about to catch lightning in a bottle, or in this case, peanuts in a can. Fire in the hole!" The interns fired the guns and cans of peanuts shot out of them. The peanut gallery started fighting over them. Then, the interns fired a dozen other cans of peanuts. "Most of your cans contain salty snacks of continued loserdom, but five contain something very special. So, crack 'em open if you've got 'em!" Leshawna opened hers and a golden Chris head on a spring popped out. "A Chris in the box? That's an insult to boxes!" "Leshawna, you're the first to get a second chance at the million!" Lindsay opened hers and another Chris head popped out. She squealed. "Lindsay is in it to win it!", Blaineley announced. Sierra and Harold opened theirs and Chris heads popped out. "Okay, one more to go! Who's got it?" Tyler opened his can and a Chris head hit him in the eye. "Well, there we go! Come on over here, everyone."

The five lucky losers walked over to Blaineley. So did Beth. "Hey, where'd you run off to?", Justin asked. "I went to dig up some info on Blaineley. She may not be reporting anything, but I sure am." Blaineley looked worried, and Beth grinned. "First off, Blaineley keeps her makeup crew in chains so they can't escape during the show. She once bought two pairs of the same pants, one in a larger size, so when she wore that pair second, it looked like she lost weight. She has black hair between her toes. And, on top of that, her real name isn't even Blaineley! It's Mildred!" Blaineley looked very embarrassed. "You're a little liar, forcing your way back to fame. You put that poor intern at risk by sending her to Siberia!" Blaineley raised an eyebrow. "Wait, you care about that part?" "Yes!" "I don't", Justin said. Beth glared at him.

Blaineley sighed, then smiled. "Well, anyway, it's time for the second chance challenge! One of our five lucky contestants is about to win a ticket back into the game for another shot at the million. So, what is the challenge? I call it Total Drama: the Board Game!" Harold frowned. "Seriously? A game of luck, not skill? What kind of lame challenge is this? You might as well just hold a lottery." "Oh, but this is no ordinary board games. The failures- that's you guys- take turns rolling the dice, and hop your way along the game board. But, role carefully, because some of the squares are booby trapped! Each square represents either a contestant still in the game or one of the last five places the Total Drama plane dumped them. Every square has a mini challenge you'll have to complete before you can roll again. Fail, and you're out of the running. Get past the final square and you'll have to face a guard from England in a skill testing quiz. First to answer the question correctly wins! You guys ready to play?"

Beth ran over to the game board. "Okay, I just have one thing to say before you get started", she said. "Roll the clips!" Blaineley looked confused. "What's going on?" "Seems like someone didn't know the green room cameras are on all day, every day." Blaineley went wide-eyed. "What? No! NO!" "Actually, yes. So, to prove that you should get the heck off the show, here's some of Blaineley's Best Moments!" The TV turned on and showed several clips of Blaineley, eating pizza that fell on the floor, using power tools to trim her toenails, and burping and farting simultaneously. The clips ended and Blaineley looked mortified. "It's... amazing what editors can do with special effects and body doubles", she said. The audience laughed. Blaineley scowled, picked up a large die and gave it to Lindsay. "Hurry! We're running late because of those fake clips." "Why do you care?", Justin asked. Blaineley smiled nervously. "Oh, no reason! Nope, none." "Actually, it's because she doesn't get paid if we run late", Beth said. "Which gives me a great idea..." Blaineley rolled her eyes. "Whatever. You're up, Lindsay."

Lindsay walked up to the game board and smiled. "Come on, lucky number seven!" She tossed the die and walked four spaces. "Well, you get the Owen challenge", Justin said. "You have to eat two peppers and then chase them with milk while watching clips from the Top Ten Hilarious Wipeouts. And if you can avoid howling, so hard you shoot a nose shake out your nose, then you are-" "Still in the game! Go!" Blaineley stuffed some peppers into Lindsay's mouth and poured milk on her head while Justin played the clips. "Take your time, Lindsay", Beth said. Blaineley tapped her foot for a few seconds, angrily. "Times up! Way to go Lindsay!", she said. "Okay Tyler, you're up!" Tyler picked up the die and rolled it, then walked five spaces. The game board panel below him fell open, and Tyler fell down through the hole. "Ooh, hello booby trap, goodbye Tyler. One less player means we can pick up the pace. Next up, Harold!", Blaineley announced.

Harold rolled the die and walked two spaces. "Area fifty one challenge!" Two strips of metal fell down from the ceiling to the panel. "Listen up, Harold you have to dodge this array of lasers without breaking contact with the floor." Harold nodded. "With my mad skills, this'll be a piece of cake." The lasers started firing and Harold managed to dodge them all for about a minute, but then got zapped in the rear by one. "Oww! Gosh, that hurts!" Blaineley smiled. "Perfect! Okay Leshawna, your roll." Leshawna rolled the die and moved three spaces. "Australia? Oh boy. Good luck with this one", Justin said. "Your challenge is to spar for a full round with a boxing kangaroo!" Justin led Leshawna to a nearby boxing ring that appeared out of nowhere and gave her a pair of gloves. Leshawna climbed into the ring and smiled at Harold. "This one's for you, ginger biscuit!" The kangaroo punched her once and she fell to the ground. Harold gasped. "Leshawna, my brawling beauty! Don't worry, I will avenge you!" Harold jumped into the ring, took Leshawna's gloves and ran at the kangaroo. "Let's do this!", he shouted. In response, the kangaroo punched him.

"Okay, looks like it's down to Lindsay and Sierra", Justin said. Sierra squealed, picked up the die and rolled it, then walked six spaces. "And you get the Heather challenge!", Blaineley said. "Your challenge is to create a haiku, whatever that is." "It's a three line Japanese poem with seventeen syllables!", Beth said. "And since this is the Heather square, your haiku has to highlight one of Heather's positive attributes. Just take your time, Sierra." "In ten seconds or less starting now!", Blaineley said. "I got it! Heather is so nice, she's sweeter than bubble gum, but too short tempered." Beth rolled her eyes. "Well, at least the third line is true."

Blaineley tossed the die over to Lindsay. "Let's go, peeps, quick like bunnies! Lindsay, you're up!", she said. Lindsay rolled the die and walked five spaces. "The Sweden square!" Justin brought her a tray of meatballs. "All you have to do is balance these Swedish meatballs on your nose for three-" Lindsay was already balancing them while barking like a seal. She smirked at Sierra. "Ha! Top that, loser!", she shouted. "Congrats, you're still in the game!", Beth said. "Sierra's turn, go go go!", Blaineley said. Sierra picked up the die, rolled it and walked another six spaces. "Another six? Wow, you're at the last square!" Sierra squealed and started hyperventilating. Blaineley pushed her to the final square. "Okay, use this sack and capture the intern dressed like Jack the Ripper! Drag him over to the British guard to get your final question. Forty five seconds go!" The intern ran away, with Sierra running after him. They both crashed into something offstage, but a few seconds later, Sierra ran onstage, carrying the intern in the sack.

"Okay, I did it! Now what's the question? If it's Total Drama related I'm totally gonna know the answer, because I know-" "Shut up! We have a show to finish!", Blaineley said. The guard looked around for the question, then pulled it out of his hat. He cleared his throat to read the question, but Blaineley snatched it from him. "What's the name of Duncan's German punk band?", she asked. Sierra scratched her chin. "Hmm, now what did Gwen say it was again?" "Come on, just say Der Schnitzel Kickers! Der Schnitzel Kickers is the answer!", Blaineley shouted. A bell ringed and a bunch of balloons and confetti fell from the ceiling. Blaineley looked confused, and Beth smirked. "Well, looks like you win, Blaineley! First person to answer the skill testing question gets a one way ticket back to the Total Drama plane, remember?" Blaineley glared at her. "Me? Out there, with those, those losers? Forget it! No one can make me go! No one!" A trio of armed interns walked onstage. Blaineley ran away, and they chased after her. Justin shrugged. "Well, that was one heck of a technicality. But, there we go! Our show's over for today. Next time, we'll be coming at you live from our top secret finale location, to give you a sneak peek at all the carnage in store for the finalists! So, be sure to stay tuned for the next episode of Total Drama World Tour, and the Aftermath show!"