This story it is something I did for therapy, I am not in any form or way supporting rape or child abuse, I know in my own flesh how all that can destroy your life, but this story it is to deal with all this emotions that were hurting me in past days.
This story is very different from the others I usually write, like my beta says, usually take out more positive emotions in my stories, but this time it is deeper in my emotions. I am sorry if I hurt somebody with this crude story. If you are sensitive about all this dark themes please don't read it.
CAUTION: mention of rape, child abuse, sex with minors, cutting and general body arming. Bashing and verbal abuse too.
Nothing left
I still remember the first time I saw him, it was a year ago, when I was about to put an end to all this madness.
It was a cold morning of January, I was walking out of the 3 story building where my styled, nice fashion apartment is. I was going out to buy me some nice cutters when I looked at the side where the butcher store is, in front of my building is a very small market, with small stores with vegetables and fruits, groceries and lacteous stores. It is a commercial part, there is also the library where I work.
When I looked to the side, there was a young man sweeping the side of the Umino butchery store, a young male around my age, maybe younger, he looked very hot with that apron low on his hips; he was wearing some dark shorts and a t-shirt in green.
When he looked to my side, I couldn't help but blush and waved at him with one hand. I thought I was not capable to do that, but maybe, just maybe there was something in me that was not tainted yet. When he blushed back and waved shyly to me, I feel something that warmed my cold soul, in that instant I smiled a true, faintly there one, but I felt nice.
I remember how I returned to my house and looked through the window down, and watched the young man for a long time; his skin is dark almost like a man from Indostan, well built with defined muscles and long dark hair pulled in a ponytail. That day, the young man that now I know as Iruka Umino stopped me to end it all.
Later that day master Orochimaru came and reminded me why I was trying to escape this life. I don't believe in anything, but I just hope that in one way or another, I could be reborn in a better place, a happy place with a family, love, safety, all what makes life normal.
I have many friends that have all that and don't appreciate it. I wish for a mom and a dad, I know it sounds pathetic coming from a 25 year old man, but it is something I wished for so much time now, it is a necessity; I want to feel that I have a family. Maybe from the outsiders I have it all, money, fine clothes, a lazy job, house, but I am empty and alone.
The people surrounding me only look for one thing from me, dirty sex. I only remember that from my earlier years. I know, now I am way too old to be called child abused, but I was abused since I remember. If you look for me in the internet under the name of the white scarecrow, you are going to find me. Good thing I have a disassociation disorder that helps me to see me in photos or videos and don't think it is me, it is one of the pros to being child abused for more than one year, you can separate the you now and the you in the images of pornography.
I am way older to be called a child, but my fans still look for me in the net and contact my owner to have a private party with the superstar, all say I have my childlike face and I don't have body hair so that helps to give the impression of a child to those disgusting men.
Thin and weak, it's another thing they enjoy. Besides I have the bad habit to gasp when I am hurt. I still remember my first video, it was my debut in the world of child abuse. I was virgin at that time; my owner took me for the first time and that video is around somewhere in my house.
There you can see a little boy around 9 years with white silvery hair, dressed in his teddy bear pajamas, the man that now I know as master Orochimaru, impersonating the Coventry, asked me to take off my clothes; naturally you can see the boy is really scared because the guy is wearing a mask, like those transparent that distorts the real face, he is all dressed in plain slacks with a shirt, like a normal guy. The little kid starts to undo his pajamas and lays naked in bed, the man takes a knife and uses his weight to keep the kid down, with a surgical accuracy he slices a fine line on his left eye to his cheek, in that precise moment the kid seals his destiny as the ultimate slave, because instead of crying out in pain or doing a sound of distress, the kid gasps.
I don't know why but each time I am hurt I can't scream; at first my first reaction is to gasp, because of that the ones hurting me think I am feeling pleasure, which is stupid when you are being sliced or tortured in the more perverse ways. But since that time this kid, the white scarecrow became a star, leading an innumerable quantity of porn movies.
You could think that when the kid stopped to be one, all that stopped, but the white scarecrow was not that lucky; his life as a teen was worse because now he was transformed into a hard slave movie star, having to suffer more abuse.
When a kid the movies were more tender, if it can be called that when you are being raped for a man or an older kid, but was less brutal than the things the poor kid had to suffer under the iron hand of his master. The white scarecrow was not lucky to die in one of those movies, he was a survivor, not like the other kids that were with him in those movies; some were killed in the vicious hands of perverts that wanted to feel the power over another living creature. The white scarecrow was kept alive to be used and abused, broken beyond repair, to be a willing pet for all to take, to live a life of nightmare and forget it in the next instant.
So my alter ego is always the victim, I am a worker in a bookstore, where I can read all that I want, don't need to be there all the time, because there is another worker there, a guy that I really don't care about because he is always looking in his screen for porn, so I just ignore him and he ignores me. That is fine with me; the less that are interested in me the better, because when one recognizes me, it is the worst, because they make the white scarecrow to surface and do all they want.
With my master Orochimaru we are the typical CMNM, but outside of the house I can wear clothes, but not underwear. And when my master appears in the store or in any place I have to be nude, no matter where I am. But now that I think of it, the last time he came to me outside of my apartment was 10 or 12 months ago, why I am not sure, but I do not care; because I am so broken that I have no shame, I can have sex in the street and not bother with the people watching me.
Some of my friends come for me to have sex, especially Genma; he is a sex addict and since he knew about my porn life, he became one of my fans; he has all my videos and at times we go to my house to see one and have sex. Genma can be really demanding, we do what he can't with his own boyfriend, because Raidou is the dominant in that relationship. I am the natural submissive, maybe not natural, but made natural submissive. With him it is fun to be with, because we can talk of other things after the sex is over.
But the one I don't like me to visit is Asuma, because he always comes with company and he is a very big guy and his friends are bigger, with them I end very dirty and sore in places that are not supposed to be sore; when I end like that master Orochimaru gets angry with me and beats me for not taking care of his body.
When all is too much I go to the butchery store and buy some meat. I don't eat meat, don't like it, but just to see Iruka there and see him smile, I like those times, makes it all better. His father hates me because it is not a secret what I do. But Iruka treats me like "normal"; he scolds me when he looks at me too beaten or when the hickeys are too many, but he acts like it is normal to have a man like me in his life. I can't tell if he is a friend, I can't say he likes me at all, at times I think he hates me or something in those lines, but he is polite with his customers. But aside from all that he is a balm that cures me, my oasis of fresh water, my salvation in dark times.
I still remember the first time we started to talk of meaningful things, after many hellos and how are yous, I muster all my courage and invite him to eat an ice cream with me outside of the library, where we have a bench made of hard wood. He agreed with a nod; I felt so happy in that time, to have a pure soul in my life is something I never thought to be able to have. I am so used to lewd sighs and rough hands that only seek, but never give. That I don't know what to do with myself when we were sitting on the bench, he was eating his vanilla one, I was eating an ambrosia one. So different in our preferences, his skin dark, mine so white, all in us it is so contrasting, he is pure and I am so tainted.
He was the one who started to tell me about his father and how he started to work for him; he took a pause in his studies to help him in the family business, he wants to become a teacher, a really noble career. I feel so proud of him and know he is going to make a fine teacher. He told me about his mother and how much he loves her food. But all went to hell when he asked me about mine.
I started to tell him about the little I knew about them, how I remember the way my mother played the piano when I was little and how in the term of a week I lost her and my dad, how she died and he committed suicide, told him how I was taken from my family at the age of 8 at two months to turn 9, how I never saw my grandfather or my uncles ever again, told him I was kidnapped by a man that made porn with children. I couldn't stop myself to tell him all that was kept in my soul for so long. Told him about my alter ego and how he did and does the worst things imaginable for men. Told him about my new videos in the net as an adult, like a pet, like a slave.
I saw how his face of happiness started to morph into one of disgust, that day he threw his ice cream in the near trashcan and walked away from me without a word. I was left alone on the bench eating my loneliness, but not for so long, because Asuma came with a bouquet of roses for me, they were beautiful and the smell that came for them it was really nice. My sadness was so deep that tears started to gather in my eyes, but I didn't let them flow; I promised myself never to cry for the inevitable, so I just stand and kissed Asuma, the way he liked, mewling in submission and letting him touch my ass.
I took his hand and led him to my house, he always comes with company, because Asuma likes to share; he gets excited seeing another fuck the one he was fucking, he likes to see his seed mix with others, they like to gang bang me. I have all that is needed for that in my house, in that room where all is, the room I try to avoid when I am alone, the room that is so cold all the time and dark.
There are tables with different kind of restraints and poles, lubes, chains, crops, whips, floggers, gags, tape gags, spreader bars, collars, dildos, cock rings, beads, plugs, ties, cuffs, ropes, waxes, blindfolds, all for a play party, and a wooden spoon. The worst is a Saint Andrew's cross where many like to play with me tied and helpless. But never condoms because we play bareback all the time.
That time with Asuma, we used a gyratory table that can be fitted at the height of the men that are going to play with me in his gangbang, usually are 6 or 7 of them with large cocks, that take turns to enter me and when they are about to cum, move out and turn me to another to fuck me. I am not allowed to cum until all cum inside of me.
I am used to being treated like that, so I naturally moved that time to the room and turned on the neon light, and started to remove my clothes. Asuma moved for the lube, I felt so numb that I wasn't there when Asuma entered me, I really let my other self to take place, the one who gasps and mewls. When I heard the bell from the door, I knew Asuma's friends were there. I don't remember how many were there that time, but after they all cum in me, I was so exhausted that I was ready to sleep. I didn't felt the pain for the rejection of Iruka, I forgot the disgust in his eye, let go of my fantasies, my newfound hope.
They were there until cum started to come out of my hole; they were cheering and drinking beer, were so proud of themselves. I was ready to sleep. Asuma took a cloth and cleaned me, put an anal plug in me and put me to bed. He is a good friend after all.
After that day, Iruka became distant and started to scream at me, it was good to have his attention again, no matter that it was not a full positive one, but he is looking at me with those dark yes. I still can feel the safety and the peace. I am delusional, I know, but I don't care if it is a fantasy, if I am happy it is ok.
I am in the library, reading for the little kids because it is Saturday, I like to read to them children's stories and see their faces, full of surprise and waiting for the prince to save the princess that is in the castle of the mean big dragon. I like to impersonate the voices of all the characters and have hats with the features of the story I am reading.
It's these moments that I enjoy the most because I can be a child again, I can be naïve, I can believe the good always wins, the captured is made free and live happily forever after.
That is until my master appears in the door; he is the owner of the place and when he enters I can feel all of my body react to his presence, my cock starts to get hard and I start to be uncomfortable in my clothes, they start to itch, all of me wants to submit to my captor. I start to sweat and want to please him and rub my naked body over his Armani-covered one.
I control my body, feeling his eyes over me, and when he licks his lips, it is too much, so I just finish the story, the kids cheer and clap, I take off my last hat and stand covering my erection. I walk slowly to my master and look at him with imploring eyes, wanting to please him, but I don't want to scare the kids, they are my distraction, my little friends.
A little girl with pigtails come to me and tells me thank you with a cute smile, offers me a lollipop and I plead at my master; he nods and I take it with a smile. I kneel to kiss her in the hair; I feel my master's hand in my hair petting me, like a good boy. I move to his side to rub my head on his leg. I close my eyes. Then the voices of kids startles me, I stand looking around with a smile, just in time for the parents to pick up their kids. I feel responsible for them and want them out of the eyes of master Orochimaru; I know he still likes kids, I am just another distraction, we have a long term relationship, I only can orgasm in pleasure with him.
My pleasure comes only from my master, I feel so dirty because he was the one who raped me so many times, but now I willingly follow him like a pet. I am so damaged and I am so tainted, that is why Iruka doesn't want anything to do with me, he keeps me at arm's length and only scolds me.
Master Orochimaru murmurs that he likes the blond ball of energy, or better known as Naruto; he is a very happy kid, he is always saying that he is going to be a great hero. The way my master eyes the blond makes me feel helpless because if master wants him, he is going to have him. I pity the boy. Before master can move to meet the blond I turn to him doing my best sad eyes, the ones to beg him for us to go, because I can't resist more to be in clothes with him there.
He evilly smirks with his soulless eyes, with that lustrous skin, the typical demonic predator, the one who keeps me captive with an invisible leash. He extends his hand; I take it and we walk out of the library, the library looks like an average one, but the truth is that we have books that you can't find in any other place, and we have a complete selection of the finest books for all kind of kinks, paraphernalia and perversions; of course that it is not for all the public to see.
We walk hand in hand to his place, because he is the one who owns all that I can use, he is the one who owns all. I can feel those dark eyes on me, Iruka's eyes, looking at my every move. I feel self-conscious, but I don't care; he doesn't care for me enough to be with me in a normal place. I just want to be friends, nothing more; this is the first time that my sex drive doesn't move me.
My master hugs me closer and starts to kiss my neck and lick me, where I want it, where it feels nice. I forget all and we walk faster to his place; there we walk to the dark room, he leaves me outside and enters to pick what he is going to use on me today. I undress and adjust my metal pet collar, it feels good to be free of clothes around my master. My cock hardens completely just thinking on what my master is preparing for me.
He calls me to enter and there on the table is displayed the toys he is going to use on me, the biggest dildo, a choker, a ball gag, leather ropes and cuffs. I take them looking at him with adoration, in this moment I am the one who is there, not my other. Because master keeps me safe, with him I always play in soft green, not like with the others because with them it is not the same, but I am liked because I am a green pet, but not always feels green; at times I just want to scream red, but my other likes the danger.
Disassociation disorder can be a blessing when you are like me. I walk behind my master to my room, because master doesn't play in that room, he likes the softness of the covers he provides for me.
Master Orochimaru calls me by my pet name, in the same way all those year back he did; he lays in bed and with his hand he makes me move closer. I walk and place all on the bed ready for my master to use. I open the drawer at the side near my master and take the exclusive scented lube he uses on me. It was an expensive purchase, because it has a very known brand of perfume.
I open his fly and take out my master's cock; master's skin is another shade as mine, but we are pale. His hair is dark and his eyes are too, like a dangerous predator that keeps me enthralled with his seductive smiles and power over me. I am the victim, his victim, and I always will be.
I kneel at the side of the bed waiting for my master's permission, he pets my head and says I am his favourite, that that blond means nothing to him, that I am always going to be the owner of his heart. I can't help but smile at his words and look down, feeling shy. I know it is sick but this man has my all. I am a child again, a slave child in his hands.
Put it in your mouth he says, and I comply. I move over him and start to lick him, he starts to prepare all the toys he is going to use on me. I am so into it that he needs to pull my hair up to make me stop. He nods at me and I know what he wants, we have years of experience with each other after all.
I lay in bed with my legs apart facing up, he moves and cuffs my hands up my head and uses the ropes to tie me to the post there, puts the gag ball in my mouth. He ties my legs in a kneeling position by my ankles to my thighs, it is a very uncomfortable position but my master always keeps me on the safe side of our play. The choker is in place, ready to cut my air supply. I look at him, waiting for my master to start to play.
He lubes the dildo and starts to press it in my entrance, it is so big, but I like it. My master touches my erection in a way that hurts but at the same time, it is the familiar touch of him. I moan but the sound is muffled. He presses it harder and I close my eyes, he moves over me and murmurs how dirty my body is and how much he likes to make me feel pleasure and love, the love he always felt for me. In that moment he pushes the big dildo inside of me; I cry out, because it hurts, always hurts with him, that always hurts, making me remember this is a rape, a love rape, like he likes to call it.
I pant because he bites my neck painfully. I start to bleed, he licks my blood and licks my face, he keeps the dildo there and touches my cock with roughness, pressing the head in his fist. I cry out again, but it is muffled again. He bites my shoulder over my clavicle and more blood runs, his nails scratch my side and he keeps touching me roughly.
The process is brutal. I start to cry because the pain in my cock is too much; he moves the choker and starts to press at it, cutting my air supply. He starts to move the dildo in and out at a fast pace. I cry more but he keeps doing it, my cock hurts and he presses it in his fist, I can feel just pain, but then it all stops. He frees my mouth and licks my lips, murmurs how beautiful I am and how good his pet is when he is crying and bleeding. I believe him like many times before.
He licks my blood and moves down, kissing my cock that is swollen for all the abuse; he kisses it and bites at it, making me cry out, it is not that painful but it is so sensitive now that it hurts really bad now. He moves up and kisses me tender and slow. I try to move my hands but I can't, so I moan in frustration; my master chuckles and starts to touch me to feel pleasure this time.
I moan in his mouth again and try to move my hips, but with the position that my legs are in, I can't do it. He moves away far from me. I cry harder, feeling so much frustration, because I want to feel my orgasm. My master tells me how good I look crying in pain.
He touches his cock slowly, admiring my bleeding cuts and how my legs are turning numb for the little blood flowing in them. I have bloodied marks of his nails in my side. He takes pity on me and enters me with his cock, that cock that takes by force what he wants; he makes love to me slow, making me gasp because he knows where I feel nice. I cum and he cums too; he pants in my mouth murmuring my pet name over and over again.
He moves up to the restroom and I can hear water running. I can't feel my arms and my legs are starting to hurt for the few blood in them, it is very painful, but I try not to move too much, because it hurts more.
Master Orochimaru comes out of the restroom impeccable like always; he runs his eyes over my body and I shiver, but then I cry out for the pain. He calls my pet name again and un-cuffs me, I let my hands recover the feeling but then he grabs them and cuffs me again. I look at him alarmed; he takes the dildo and shoves it inside of me. I cry out loud, without the gag ball it is a loud shout. He walks out of the room and I am left sobbing painfully because the choker is too tight.
He returns and I stop my sobbing, looking at him with reddened eyes. He moves close to me again and kisses my check. Takes a knife and slices my chest where there are numerous scars from previous plays. I gasp and hiss in pain, he does around 16 cuts on my chest and does one last time at the base of my cock, it is not deep but hurts the same. Master cuts the ropes on my legs leaving cuts in my skin too, they cramp and I groan for the pain. He un-cuffs me again; I lay there choking sobs of pain, not wanting to make my master feel disgusted by me, what he hates the most are crying babies.
He kisses me again, murmurs how good a boy I am, and tells me he is returning the next time with some fans to do one video he has been planning, says it is going to be some aristocratic performance. He advises me to do some work out and take care of my body, not to overplay it. I nod sniffing and looking at him, trying to smile.
I try to move to go with him to the door, but he stops me and tucks me in the covers. He touches my eyes with the palm of his hand and I am sleeping.
The next morning I can't move well, I hurt all over and some of the cuts are getting infected. I can breathe well so my master most likely freed me from the choker.
I think about the words of my master. I need to take care of my body, so I try to stand and move to the bathroom, where there are all kinds of medical supplies and medications for almost all. I limp because my left leg hurts pretty bad; I look down with difficulty, because my chest burns with the cuts. There is a long gash in my ankle, it is bleeding, maybe reopened for the walking. I limp to the shower and turn on the cold water, it numbs the body and makes the cleaning of cuts easy.
I enter the freezing water like so many times before, and start to clean my body with my antibacterial soap; this is a gift from one of those men master Orochimaru brings to play with me, he teaches me many ways to take care of the wounds he is so adept to inflict on me. I limp carefully to the sink and open the cabinet of my medications.
Just what I needed; I ran out of iodine and antibiotic ointment, I need them to fix me. I need to go out; I can't help but feel tears of frustration gather in my eyes. I need somebody to take care of me, I need to be taken care of.
I don't know how much time I was there crying, but I calm down, knowing well that I am alone and I am the only one that is going to take care of me. I limp painfully to my room, take a clean shirt with buttons on the front that makes it easy to take it off. I take some cargo shorts, but better take pants; they can conceal my wounds and all the bruises.
I dress slowly, I don't dry myself because it helps to keep me cool and numb me some more, I need it to act normal. I use my sandals, take my wallet and keys, and with small steps I walk down the stairs; it takes forever to be down. I walk out slowly trying not to limp too much, because I don't want to attract too much attention. I don't know how my face looks, because I don't use the mirrors. I hate to see what is there.
I hear a grunt and look up; there is Iruka, standing with his arms crossed, looking at me with those dark eyes that say too much. He tells me in a single breath, that he almost believes my cry story, but after he saw me with many men with a happy smile, he thinks I am so disgusting and a liar, that deserves all the pain that I can get. That he couldn't believe he almost felt love for me, and who could love a whore like me. He just walks away from me; I am left cold and shivering.
I just look at him walking so high and mighty; he is so pure that he can say those things. I know who I am. In that moment Genma comes and says something that I know. That I never let anyone talk to me like that; he tries to touch me and I push him away from me, I don't want anybody to touch me now. I start to limp to the drugstore for my supplies. I don't care if I am limping or not, what I want is to be home, fix me and sleep.
Genma trails after me, saying the obvious, that my master made a visit. He is there with me; it is not comforting, but I know he is not going anywhere. I tell him I am not allowed to fuck. He says it is ok, that just looking at me and jerking is enough. I chuckle because that is the way all my friends are, always looking for me for pleasure. I am so tired that I can't walk anymore.
He asks me what I need; reluctantly I give him the money and tell him what I need. He runs to buy all; I know he does it because he is horny, not because he cares. I stay there feeling all of my body throb with pain, I look up and see the blue sky with those fluffy white clouds. Looking at the sky always helps me to feel relaxed. I look at my side and see Iruka standing there outside of his store, looking angered. I turn my head up and keep watching the clouds move.
Your boyfriend was looking at me murderously, says Genma. I don't say a thing, he takes my hand and we walk slowly to my house. Standing there made my legs tired; it is a long way home for me, but it is only two squares. I start to climb the steps one at the time. Genma is looking at me, but I just ignore him, because he is just thinking on what is under my clothes.
I am exhausted after all the moving. Genma opens my door; I limp to my room and lay in bed groaning. Genma moves in my house; I feel his hands unbuttoning my shirt, I can't move now. I feel myself sink in the void of darkness. When I wake I feel better and I see Genma sleeping at my side. Smells like antiseptics and I don't hurt so bad, this bastard cured me; I smile because after all Genma is not just a crazy sex addict.
I close my eyes again and let sleep to take me again, this is the best way to heal. I have nightmares, but I am so used and bud with them that now I just enjoy them, like a movie to entertain my brain. I wake again feeling hands on my naked body, slowly teasing and almost caring.
I say no to Genma, who is touching me and him at the same time; he just smirks and moves his body over mine and starts to move his hips over mine. Our erections brush and caress each other. I can't understand how Raidou never lets his partner top him, the way Genma's hips move is exhilarating. We are gasping and moaning; Genma kisses me with passion, I kiss back the best I can, because I still hurt and his moves left me breathless with pain.
He ends over me, with a choked sound. I lay there feeling his cum cooling on my skin. He moves down my body, licks me clean; he takes my erection and works it until I cum, it is good but not like the way my master does it. I tell him I better not have new bruises or my cuts severe, he just chuckles and mumbles whipped to me. I hit him on the head with my hand, it hurts but he deserves it.
Genma moves away, laughing. I close my eyes; the smell of sex is in the air. I want to open my windows to let fresh air in, but I am too tired to move. I feel something touch my lips and open them, take it, you are going to need it, is what Genma says. I frown because I know he is not a medic, but his boyfriend is, so maybe something good is rubbing on him, so I open my mouth and take it. He gives me a bottle of water and I swallow. He pushes another to my lips and I shake my head.
He says it is an antibiotic. I open my mouth, the need to take care of my body is too much, the words of my master echo in my head. He opens the windows that are over the head of my bed; I feel the fresh air in, it is cold and smells like jacarandas, one of the trees that are in the house of my neighbor. I like that tree; it gives purple flowers in the shape of a cup of wine, just lovely, the perfect hat for a fairy.
Genma kisses me one more time, touches my face and murmurs that I don't have a fever. He takes my covers and places them on me, leaves the bottle of water at my side, says that I need to rest and to call him if I need something. I smile at him and say thank you, he kisses me again and leaves my house. All is so quiet now, the house feels empty and quiet, just the way I like it; no voices, no sounds, nobody to hurt me or use me, just me.
I sleep for who knows how many hours; I am so hurt that the next day I don't want to move. It is not the physical pain, it is the rejection and the hate that hurts. I take a seat in my window, the one in the living room; from there I can see Iruka cleaning the windows, he is singing a song that I don't know. He has a lovely voice, he greets at all the people passing by; he has a warm smile for all of them.
I close my eyes and look at the sky, maybe it is time to eat something; my bruises are healing and my cuts are not red like before, I am less sore and walking is not so difficult anymore. Maybe a sandwich could do. I look around and find some fungus and vegetables; cooking is something that I enjoy, it is good to know what is in your food. I finish the mix and use two bread slices, maybe just eat with them at the side is ok. I take a bite of one of them and walk to the window again, that is my favourite place in all the house, because I can see out sitting comfortably.
I look down and see people passing. I look to the left and see the library open; I don't feel like going today, maybe tomorrow. I feel eyes on me; I turn slow, faking in taking a bite of my bread, only one person has that sight that weighs on me, but he just despises me and I don't feel like being seen like a bug right now.
Yes, there is Iruka looking my way. I try to ignore him and keep eating, he stays like that a few seconds more and turns to do his things, why does he bother with me if he hates me so much? It is a mystery I am not fond to find. I am scared to be near him again after he told me his thoughts. They hurt because I care, because I want him to like me, just a little, but that is not going to happen, so I better stay away.
I wash all in the kitchen and go to bed again. I am tired and depressed; I know depression well, we are friends. One of the men who come with Orochimaru is in psychiatry; I asked him about these feelings of abandon, void, sadness and emptiness. He told me, while he was fucking me and hitting my butt with a wood pallet, that I need to go out to shake it out. So I do it when I feel like that, just because it is what he told me, but I don't really feel better.
At night I dress myself pretty, a flashy shirt to catch the attention, with long sleeves to hide my bruises that are fading, trousers that are comfy and ride low on my hips; if I move right it shows nice skin. I use my brand new shoes my master bought me last month. No socks; it is better touching skin on skin.
I walk out of my building; I don't have a destination in mind, just walk to the club area near my house, the good thing to live in this part of the city. The trees are everywhere. I am walking on a street I never walked before, it has nice houses with small yards, it is a lovely place. I see someone walking out of one house. I am not scared of strangers, so I keep walking; maybe he'll just walk past me and just that. I keep my head turned, admiring the houses.
Are you going to whore yourself? is what the voice says. I look at the man ready to punch him for saying that, but dark eyes stops me, I didn't recognize the voice. I say goodnight, he just looks at me like that. I feel dirty under that stare, so low and unworthy. So I keep walking with my head down, he doesn't say more.
I feel like getting drunk, but can't have sex, master's orders. I am now in the area, there are several night clubs open with flashing light, men and women ready to have fun, to enjoy the night, forget about their problems. I look at them and walk, feeling people touching me when I pass; it is weird how people think they can touch you, just because they feel like it.
I take a seat on a bench that is on the other side where the clubs are, just watching them, seeing a couple fight, a girl fall drunk on the sidewalk, two having sex in the back of a car, others getting high, some dancing in the street. I watch a car that goes by, full of guys and girls that are screaming obscenities at others, a group of guys that are hitting a poor guy, a group of girls pushing another. The usual night's activities. I stay there until morning; by now I have so many phone numbers to create a book, but tonight I am alone, it starts to rain and the party stops, all look for shelter because the rain is cold.
I stand and walk home, I need a hot shower and sleep; today I am not going to work either. It is around 8 in the morning that I am home, because I got lost on the road of life. I walk looking at the stores and think it is good to buy some fruit. I ask the clerk to give me pears and peaches; he smiles that polite smile just for customers that you don't like. It is good to have all these stores near my house. I walk in front of Iruka's father's store and keep walking; I don't dare to look up. I see the lady with the flowers and think to buy some Stargazer lilies, they smell nice and I love the mixed colours. I buy 4 and start to walk to my house, I know I must look like a wet cat, but I don't care, they think so ill of me that they can't think worse, so I just buy and they sell to me.
Kakashi, I look up and there is Obito waiting in the door of my building. I smile, because this guy is funny to be with; he has the craziest ideas ever and well he is my groomer, he always comes first when we are going to do some porn video my master wants to show off worldwide. Where were you, he asks with that stupid grin. I shake my head and open the door for him. He starts to babble about his girlfriend and the baby they are going to have, he is one of the few straight men that I know that works in gay movies and does gay things in just work fashion.
He explains to me about the new movie, it is going to be a gothic story about vampires and I am going to be the prey, so I need to look gothic. He is going to test makeup on me and paint my body with fake tattoos and piercings. My skin is clean of all that, because master likes it like that, not that I want any of that; I like my own skin the way it is.
He urges me to take a shower because his boss, my master, is going to kill him if I get ill. The movie is going to be recorded tomorrow so I need to be in good shape. I go to shower after putting my flowers in a vase; the smell fills the house immediately. He tells me to hurry and slaps my butt; I yelp and hurry to my bathroom.
I can hear noises outside, but knowing the movie is going to be tomorrow, maybe it is all the decorations needed or Obito is doing something disastrous. I walk out naked drying my hair, because I am going to be like that in all the make-up tests, so it is no use to get clothed. I see many men and women fixing what looks like a huge bed, drapes hanging from the ceiling, Victorian furniture; all my living room is fixed like that, all in black, silver, gold and black. Actually it looks very nice. Some men look at me with lust and I just ignore them, I am out of their reach now, they can't take me now. I see them licking their lips; some girls whisper and ogle me. I walk to Obito and stand closer to him, showing I am not available.
Don't tease them, murmurs Obito, not caring about my naked body. I just wink at him and move to my room. Obito follows me with his things; we spend the time there, he paints and cleans, re-does his work until he is happy with it. After hours of standing there immobile, he grins, looking at my face. I grin back, his grin is contagious; we walk out to the now finished stage, it is amazing what this people can do. It looks majestic, nothing like my very modern decoration. It looks like a palace. Obito makes me pose for him; I stand first with my body relaxed, he takes all my angles to show my master his work.
I know tomorrow I am going to pose in all kinds of ways for the video, but today it is just the basics for my master to see me. Obito shows me some and I am very impressed, my body looks like a corpse, with the muscles painted in dark colours; my eyes looks deep and like I was crying. I like the tattoos he made, one on my arm in circles, other on my neck like tribal. Obito is a real artist.
He takes another hour cleaning my body of paint. I ask him if he wants to go out to eat with me, but he says Rin is waiting for him to do that, so I thank him and he goes with a grin feeling accomplished. I am glad he feels like that. I go and drink some water. Tomorrow is going to be a long day; I drink some more water and go bed, because I know around 5 in the morning all are going to start to arrive.
I woke some minutes before 5; I don't bother with clothes because master is going to be here. I wash my mouth and go to the door waiting for the crew to arrive. The door opens revealing my master. I move to him and kiss him slow, moaning when his hands touch me.
He lets go of me and enters; he starts to inspect all, he orders some changes. I stand at his side silently, the crew obeys him and does their work; the cameraman start to install the lights. Obito arrives and he leads me to my room after master's approval. He starts to paint my face and fix my hair, after two hours I am done and ready. I can hear noises outside and orders being given, I just focus on my creating, because I never know what is going to happen; all is a surprise for me, because they want it to be natural. Some say my face is too expressive, that it is really a turn on. I hope this movie will not be very violent, but I don't keep my hopes up.
I move out and all keep quiet. Master moves to me and admires the work of Obito; he is pleased. He doesn't touch me because he doesn't want to ruin my make-up, he says I have to stand near the bed and wait for the arrival of the two in the door; he doesn't tell me who are the other people in the movie, so I just do what he says.
The director says quiet, lights are on and I am nervous but ready for what is to come. The director says action, there is a knock on my door and one male dressed in Victorian-style clothes opens with a bow; in the door appear two gothic-clad young men. I observe them because I saw them before; they are young, I can tell they are siblings. They talk with the owner of the house about something of diversions. The younger has his hair styled up in spikes, the other in a low ponytail. I see them talk; the younger smirks and I can see long canines, vampires.
The scene stops. I looks at the young actors more, they have long dark cloaks concealing their bodies under them. But those features are known. Then I am taken aback, I know those two; the older is around 18 and the younger around 13 , they are the Uchiha brothers. They went missing 1 year ago, they were regulars in the library; I knew their parents, they died a year back and the kids went missing. I look at my master, then I feel really cold; I pity Naruto, if master wants him, he is going to take him.
I feel sick but try to cover it, coughing and walking around for a bit. Master comes closer, and asks me if I am ok. I nod, not looking at him; this can't be happening, they had a family, they were happy, what are they doing here in this nasty hellhole. The director says quiet again, I turn to my position and he says action. They keep talking with the other actors, a young male around 18 moves from the position behind his master and goes to a nearby table. He lays on his back, opening his legs for them to see his abused hole; the older brother Itachi moves to touch him, he inserts a finger and says something about not being to his liking.
Then they spoke about the finest slave that is only for his own use, they look interested and that is when they move to where I am. When they see me, they look surprised; maybe I can do something to free them, beg to master, something, but then both smirk and look at each other. In that moment I know those two are not the same kids I knew, they are broken.
The director says cut, a make-up girl comes to the Uchiha brothers. Obito come to me; he places a contact lens in my left eye, master comes to me to inspect the new addition. I feel my eye get teary because of the foreign object, but try to smile to master.
I wish for you to be immortal, that way I could do so much more with you, murmurs master looking me in the eyes. I smile to him, but I do remember how kids were tortured to the point of death and how others were cut open with a man inside of them rutting like animals. Masters walks away and I can see the Uchiha brothers have the same lenses as me but in both eyes; it gives them a demonic appearance. Both are looking at me with smirks on their faces.
The older, Itachi, murmurs how much he always wanted to touch me when he was a small kid. Sasuke murmurs how nice and delicious looks my erected cock. I swallow, trying to be composed, because those two are not the same sweet smiling kids I knew.
The director says quiet, the lights in the back are turned off, leaving only the bed area lit. The director says action and the master of the house presents me as a rare beauty, half-vampire; he says I can be tortured and not be killed, that I can heal pretty fast. Sasuke says he can smell my sweet blood and that he likes me; he turns to see his brother, who leans down and kisses him.
I am still like a rock waiting for what is to come. Both Uchiha start to undo their black clothes, revealing only pale skin, without marks, clean and creamy. Looks so pure but I know in this world nothing is like it looks. They start to touch each other; Itachi licks Sasuke's neck while he is touching his little brother's cock, the younger looks at my side and says he wants me.
Itachi lets go of his brother, who walks to my side and orders me to be on the bed. I comply in shock, never thought see these two kids doing these kinds of things. Sasuke moves over my body licking me, he stops at my cock and starts to lick it, he is good with his mouth; when he bites me with his fangs I gasp, in that moment the director says cut. Itachi says it is a shame, because it was starting to become interesting.
Obito moves to me and fixes my make-up. I look at him, he grins in concern; I just sniff and shake my head. Director says to be in position. Sasuke goes over me again, I feel his skin on mine; it is so soft and warm. The director says quiet and action. Sasuke keeps licking me; I have my hands at my sides, don't know what to do with them, then I feel Itachi move over the bed; he kneels near my head and taps my mouth with his cock. I open it and start to suck him. I feel my legs pulled apart, it is weird to be touched by kids like them. I can feel the small cock of Sasuke going inside of me. He starts to move and pant over me, I can't see what is happening because I am busy licking at Itachi's cock. But then the director says cut. I let go of Itachi and look up, both brothers are kissing with passion. A man touches Sasuke and they snap out of the moment, he pulls out of me.
I sit in bed waiting for Obito to come. I never thought a kid was going to take me; it was not painful because he is not big, but it gives me a sadness that I am about to cry. Master walks to me; I sniff trying to suppress my tears, when master's voice reaches me I choke a sob and try to calm myself.
Master asks for a rest, the director says 15 minutes; master pulls me to him and hugs me, I feel better now with him hugging me. He murmurs it is ok, that it is normal to feel overwhelmed for being touched for an angel; he says he understands, he says I was doing great. I nod to him, trying to believe his words. Master lets go of me and I can see his suit dirty with make-up; I look at him alarmed, but he says I am more important.
I smile, because that is sweet of him to tell me. He moves away, I want to reach for him, but Obito comes to redo his work. I feel ashamed because all saw me like that, but I know all is being recorded and it is going to be used for the movie, the perverts are going to have the time of their lives with me crying in my master's arms. After 20 minutes I am ready again; we are placed in the same spot we were.
Sasuke enters me slowly, I can feel he has a cock ring on to prevent him to cum so soon; his brother moves to my head and I see he has a cock ring too. I take Itachi in my mouth again; we stay like that for a while, I know they are taking photographs. The director says quiet and action, both brothers start to move their hips on me. I can hear them moaning; Itachi throbs in my mouth, I let him fuck me with delight, I am a master in sucking, so I know how good my mouth is.
They move away. I let go of Itach with a wet pop, lick my lips and feel Sasuke move out of me; the director says cut, one of the girls comes and takes away the cock rings. I stay in my position knowing they are going to take close-ups of the brothers pulling out of me. The director orders for us to take position again; both brothers enter me again. I gulp and feel Itachi move in me with a groan. The director says for me to take it easy on the little guys; some laugh, and my masters says I am too much for the kids.
I can feel my master's approval and how all know who I am. It is a weird thing but feels nice to be known, I am a total pervert.
The director says quiet and action; the two brothers pull out of me, Sasuke lays down at my side and licks his fingers seductively. I can feel Itachi taking me by my shoulder, I take a seat and move the way he conducts me. I am over Sasuke now who is licking his lips, his eyes are lost of all innocence, they are full of lust. I can feel Itachi touching my butt; he commands for his brother to open his legs for me to enter him, I stay put with my eyes full of surprise. The cameras are surrounding us, I know they are recording my surprise; I don't want to rape a kid.
The director says cut. I never felt so happy to hear that; I move away from Sasuke and stand looking at the kid talking with his brother while touching himself. Master moves at my back, he says not to worry for hurting the kid, he says he prepared him personally for me to take him. That helps a bit, but I still don't want to have sex with a minor. But I have no say in this. Sasuke's make-up it is ready; I look at my master pleadingly, but he shakes his head and walks away.
This is not happening, there is only one way to let this go, but I need to be hurt for him to take over. I am alone now, my other self can't help me with this. The director commands us to be in position. I can feel my body tremble, some murmur that they can see how excited I am to take a kid, but it is the total opposite. I am terrified for all this, I don't want to do the same that they did to me, I am not like them, I am not the assailant.
I take position over Sasuke, who is smirking. I move in my previous position, his brother at my back and I ready to enter the kid. The director says quiet and action; I can't move, but Itachi's hand on my hole makes me move forward touching his brother's hole with my cock. Sasuke moans. I freeze, but then Itachi pushes me forward; I close my eyes, knowing what is to follow. I move my hips and enter the younger Uchiha in one movement; he moans and throws his head back. I stay still, watching him moan in ecstasy.
In that instant the director says cut. I pull out of Sasuke with care because I don't want to hurt him; his brother moves and kisses him in the mouth. I can hear him tell him something, but I don't pay too much attention because I am worried for the kid, because I am going to re-enter him for the next scene. Obito offers me some water; I drink it, looking at the ceiling. I look down in time to see master kissing both boys on the head and saying how good both are doing it, something in me steers, maybe is jealousy or fret, I don't know.
The director says to take position and I just want for this to end. The director says action; I re-enter the young Uchiha, who does the same reaction as before. I stay still, looking at him, then his brother kneels at my back. I don't look back, understanding what we are going to do; I feel his cock brushing my hole and wait for him to enter me. He does; it hurts so I sigh, closing my eyes, all cheer and the director screams cut.
He scolds them all for ruining the scene but he is grinning and touching his obvious erection. I know what he wants to do with me, but I try to shake it out of me. Itachi moves out of me; Sasuke and I stay in the same position waiting for the director to say action. The director says in position and I feel Sasuke lick my neck, it is slow and cute. I close my eyes and smile; I feel flashes and know they are taking shots of us.
The director says quiet and action. Itachi moves and enters me again; I close my eyes and sigh again, he says to his brother how good he looks down there; he starts to move and I move with hims. Sasuke starts to moan, we are like that for some few movements when the director says cut. I am sweating and feel the make-up running on me. Master sends me to shower; I go, happy because I can't be there anymore. Obito comes with me to help me shower.
How are you Kakashi, asks Obito. I tell him how dirty and disgusting I feel; he nods to me, but he doesn't say more, he is like that. I can says all that I want to him and he just listens to my frustration. He ruffles my hair and tells me to close my eyes, because he is going to wash my hair. I let him wash me; how I want my other me to take over.
After 3 hours I am ready to keep shooting; master says I look more beautiful now after being taken by kids, that I just stole their youth. I smile to him, because I prefer have his attention. I look to the kids who are talking in a corner; I can see Sasuke's hand caress his brother's erection with interest.
I walk to the bed where my master leads me by the hand, he leaves me there and smirks. I smile at him; the Uchiha brothers move to the bed too, both kiss me on the lips, I kiss them back. Sasuke moves in position and I enter him, Itachi enters me; we wait for the director to say action. The director takes out his erection and moves to us, he kneels on the bed and touches my face with it. I turn and lick him; he looks at us and nods. He says we are so hot he is about to cum just looking at us. I smile seductively and wink at him.
He walks slowly to his chair with his erection out of his pants, he has one hand in it. I look around and others are the same, even the girls are touching themselves; maybe we look hot like this. Director says action and we start to move. Itachi does a really hard push on me that I just bury my head in Sasuke's neck; he in that instant bites me with his fangs, I sigh and sigh again when Itachi does the same. I don't know more, because my other me takes over.
I only remember portions of things, I doing Itachi while Sasuke was looking at us, Sasuke doing a girl with pink hair, and Itachi in him, me licking her clean, a real madness. I snap to myself when the director calls cut and final. I am so dirty by now, my make-up is ruined, but we finally finish this movie. Master walks to me and kisses me with passion; he bites my lip and makes it bleed, he licks my neck where there is blood flowing, because the fangs of the Uchiha brothers are real bone. And they pierce in my skin in several places, are not deep cuts but they hurt with the sweat and the make-up. Master pulls out his erection, turns me and I place my hands on the bed, he enters me and moves in me with abandon, I think he was holding back all this time. I feel him cum in me and I sigh.
He pulls out, I am about to turn to kiss him when I feel my neck roughly held in place. I feel the rough and big hands of a man over me, he enters me with a fluid movement; he is huge and I cry out, he moves in me fast and furious, he doesn't last much, then pulls out. I stay in position waiting for what is going to happen next. I feel a man mount me, he is the director; he touches my cock while he is moving in me. I feel him cum, then I am flipped to my back by another man, he is a huge big black guy. I look at him with big eyes, because I know it is going to hurt, but then a female mounts my erection and starts to ride me. She is moaning over me; I am not fond of girls, but now I can't do anything about it.
I don't know how long almost all the staff has his time with my body, all end up panting or doing something with another worker. My house is a place of an orgy, all playing with all; I end in master's arms and Itachi riding me. Master cuts me and sees me bleed; Itachi touches the blood and paints his own body with it, Sasuke helping him to do it on his back. After an eternity, all are tired and on the floor. Master carries me to my bed; I am left there feeling dizzy after the ordeal, I can't move, they overdid me, but master is pleased, he says I was the best there, a true star.
He says I have 4 hours to sleep because he is going to bring some friends to play with me, they are the script manager, one producer and the chef of the crew; all are going to play with me. I just nod feeling exhausted. Knowing there are going to pass many hours before they get tired of my body.
I can only say that it is good to end in a hospital bed alone, where no one can touch you anymore. There I can cry alone, I can let go of all that I am feeling. This is the same feeling that drove me to want to end it all like last time, but right now I am sure there is no salvation for me. I can't take it anymore; I have broken ribs, broken fingers, blood loss, lacerations and cuts, one deep one on my back, my cock has numerous cuts. I want to die. The nurses are nice to me, some look at me with pity, because it is so obvious what happened to me, but they are nice. But this kind of thing never lasts too much, good things never last in my life.
Next day I am back home, because master Orochimaru doesn't want me to stay in the hospital; he says that it is not a place for me, that it is so dead and white, I deserve to be surrounded by colours to contrast with my pale skin. So now I am in my house, where his friend that is a medic checks on me from time to time; each time he fucks me and makes some of my injuries worsen, but he gives me some strong sedatives to endure it all and keeps me drugged for him to play with me, he has me at his mercy.
I think this is day four or maybe five after the movie, and I am not healing fast enough. The worst of all are my visits; they are only hurting me more. I want to end it now. My master is doing this more viciously than ever. The immortal thing is a turn on to him, he is prone to do very nasty things to his victims; some don't make it alive, I am just here because… he likes to torture me.
It is around 7 in the morning and finally I am alone, there is a fine wrist clock on my nightstand table, there it is a note that says, you did so well my silver scarecrow, I will see you soon. I scream with tears falling from my eyes; this is too much. I limp slowly, trying not to move too much because my ribs hurt too much. My house looks clean and the decoration is back to the normal modern way. After what seems forever I come near the window; the sun is coming out, it is a beautiful sight. I close my eyes and look to the sky. I have one of my knives with me, it is made of steel, a German one; it is nice to slice meat in fine portions like sushi, it cuts clean and fast. I take a seat in my window, where I can see Iruka sweeping the floor outside of his store with his apron, looking nice like ever. I cut my left arm deep to the bone, from my wrist to my elbow, it is a fast cut. I sigh and curse, dropping the bloodied knife at my side. After a moment I look down to Iruka, who looks up; I press my bloody palm to the window and smile, it is a goodbye, a bloody one, but red and full of life. I am not going to be here anymore, I can't do it.
I can see Iruka trying to look closer to me, the sun goes up and my blood runs out; his eyes are big now looking at me and the bloody imprint in my window. I can't be here one more second. I hear a scream, but I am so sleepy now, I want some peace; I close my eyes and lean in the corner of my window, the sun feels nice on my cooling skin.
I can see mom and dad there, looking at me. I look up and see tears in their eyes; they say they are so sorry. I just smile and hug them, laughing.
End
FaiNeko