Scene opens in Joey and Annette's apartment. Enter Annette.
Annette: Joey, I'm home!
Enter Joey from his room, dressed as a Blue Ranger.
Joey: It's morphin' time!
Annette shrieks.
Joey: Oh, sorry. I thought you were Chandler.
Annette: DO I LOOK LIKE CHANDLER?
Joey: Well, that picture of you with short hair in junior high kind of made you look like him.
Annette gasps.
Annette: Who showed you that?
Joey: Mike.
Annette: I'll kill him! He swore that picture would never see the light of day! While I'm off murdering my cousin, where are you two going?
Joey: We're gonna get Ross and go play Power Rangers in the park.
Annette: What? No, you're not! Rachel won't let him go.
Joey: Yeah, she will. She and Alex are going with us.
Annette: No, she isn't! Rachel has more class than to go around dressed up as-
Enter Rachel, dressed as the Pink Ranger.
Rachel: Hey, Joey, Ross wants to know if you've finished the helmets yet.
Joey: Just about. Paint has to dry.
Rachel: Okay.
Rachel leaves. Annette looks at Joey.
Annette: So, uh, anyone call dibs on the Green Ranger yet?
Theme song and title sequence plays.
So no one told you life was gonna be this way.
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear.
Well, it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year.
But, I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.
I'll be there for you, like I've been there before.
I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too.
Scene opens in Central Perk. Phoebe is sitting on the couch. Enter Monica, with a shopping bag.
Monica: Phoebe! Listen, this is yours!
Phoebe: Huh?
Monica sets the bag down next to Phoebe.
Monica: If Rachel asks, this bag is yours!
Phoebe: Oh, cool! I always wanted a bag for my closet. I have this space in there that was getting lonely...what's in it?
Enter the gang dressed in their Power Ranger costumes.
Monica: Tell you later!
Annette: That is the LAST time I'm going to play with you!
Ross: I was teaching!
Rachel: Teaching what? How to ruin their fantasies?
Monica: How was the park?
Chandler: Oh, it was great. We had a lot of kids gather around, we were signing autographs for them, and things were going swimmingly, until Ross started in on one of his dino lectures...
Ross: Hey, there is nothing wrong with explaining to them that the mastodon and saber-tooth tiger didn't exist until the Ice Age, well after the era of the dinosaurs!
Annette: They were KIDS, Ross! The only thing they cared about was that the Power Rangers were there!
Gunther: So you guys had fun?
Alex: Oh, yeah! It was a blast!
Alex leans toward Gunther.
Alex (whispering): Save me from these people.
Gunther: No way. It was you or me, and I have to work.
Alex glares at Gunther.
Alex: Remember this tonight, when you try to get lucky.
Annette: EW!
Alex: What?
Annette: I don't wanna think about my best friend and my boss having sex, thank you!
Alex: Like it's any better seeing the blogs Joey posts every time you two have sex?
Annette: WHAT?
Joey: Uh...geez, look at the time! I gotta go!
Joey runs out the door, Annette behind him.
Annette: GET BACK HERE, SO I CAN HURT YOU!
Scene ends and opens in Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting on the couch, watching TV. Enter Ross.
Ross: Hey.
Rachel: Hey.
Ross kisses Rachel.
Rachel: How was work?
Ross: It was all right. But I think Prank Week started up for the fraternities…
Rachel: Why do you say that?
Ross: Well, for one thing, my office was filled with helium when I walked in. I kept sounding like Mickey Mouse when I was doing my lectures today.
Rachel begins laughing.
Ross: It's not funny! Do you know how hard it is to give a lecture on the theoretical migration patterns of the Brachiosaurus when you sound like something that escaped from a Disney cartoon?
Rachel: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I won't laugh, I promise.
Ross glares at Rachel, and turns to set his briefcase on the counter.
Rachel (high, squeaky voice): Today, we're gonna talk about the migrating habits of the Brachiosaurus. Everyone, open your books to page 394…
Ross grabs Rachel and begins tickling her. Rachel squeals.
Rachel (laughing): Ross! Stop it!
Ross: Sorry, I can't understand your squeaks. You'll have to speak up.
Ross continues to tickle Rachel. Rachel turns around and kisses Ross passionately.
Ross: Where's Emma?
Rachel: Taking a nap.
Ross: How much time do we have?
Rachel: Plenty, if we hurry.
Ross and Rachel begin running toward their room.
Emma: Mama!
Ross groans and hangs his head.
Ross: It's like she has Joey's timing, I swear.
Rachel: And Monica's volume.
Rachel walks into Emma's room. Scene ends and opens in Central Perk. Phoebe is sitting on the couch. Enter Monica.
Monica: Hey, Pheebs.
Phoebe: Hey.
Monica: Do you have the dress I gave you?
Phoebe: Yep! Here you go.
Phoebe hands Monica a dress.
Monica: Uh, Phoebe, where's the bag?
Phoebe: Huh?
Monica: The bag it came in. Where is it?
Phoebe: Oh, I kept it.
Monica: What? Why?
Phoebe: Because you said I could have it!
Monica: No, I didn't!
Phoebe: Yeah huh! You said, "If Rachel asks, this bag is yours." Remember?
Monica: I meant the contents, not the bag itself! Now give it here.
Phoebe: Um, no….
Monica: Give it to me!
Phoebe: No! It's mine!
Monica: I can't take this dress home as it is! It'll be ruined! Why do you even NEED the bag?
Phoebe: Because it has these neat little circles and spirals! It fits well into that empty space in my closet!
Monica: I DOODLED on it!
Phoebe: Why would you do that?
Monica: I was bored on the bus!
Enter Rachel.
Monica: Give me the bag, Phoebe! I can't let Rachel see this!
Rachel: Let Rachel see what?
Monica: …this dress that I got for my co-worker!
Rachel stares at Monica.
Monica: What?
Rachel: YOU got someone a dress?
Monica: I can be nice! Besides, her daughter's birthday is coming up. Right, Phoebe?
Phoebe: It is? Merciful Zeus, I gotta get her a present!
Phoebe runs out the door. Scene ends and opens in Central Perk. Joey is sitting on the couch. Chandler is sitting in the armchair. Joey is typing on his laptop.
Joey: And…done. Hey Chandler, check out this blog entry I just wrote.
Chandler: Joey, I lived with you for five years. I've heard every fantasy about Yasmine Bleeth you have.
Joey: So you don't wanna read this?
Chandler: Are you kidding? Move over!
Chandler jumps onto the couch next to Joey.
Chandler: Uh, Joey…this doesn't sound like Yasmine Bleeth.
Joey: What do you mean? Of course it is!
Chandler: Since when does Yasmine Bleeth have red hair, and work at a coffee shop?
Joey: Uh…since after her Baywatch days?
Chandler: So basically, you're using Yasmine Bleeth to cover the fact that you're writing about Annette. What kind of flowers do you want at the funeral?
Joey: What are you talking about?
Chandler: Oh, the funeral we'll be having after Annette KILLS you.
Joey: She's not gonna kill me! Why would she kill me?
Chandler: Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you're blogging about your sex life with HER.
Joey: I am not! I never mentioned her once.
Chandler: You mentioned Central Perk three times! And…a couch?
A pause.
Chandler: Oh! Oh, God! You don't mean…?
Joey: Yeah, I meant to tell you: you're kinda sitting where we-
Chandler jumps up.
Chandler: No no! No no no no no no! Why didn't you use the closet?
Joey: Because we did it five times in the closet already!
Chandler cringes. Enter Annette.
Annette: Hey.
Joey: Hey.
Annette kisses Joey, and sits down next to him.
Annette: Whatcha working on?
Joey: Nothing.
Joey hastily closes the computer. Annette glares at Joey.
Joey: What?
Annette: What are you hiding?
Joey: Nothing.
Annette: Then show me the screen.
Joey: No! Don't look!
Annette: Give me the computer!
Joey hands the computer to Chandler. Chandler begins to run for the door.
Annette: Get back here!
Enter Mike.
Mike: Hey, guys. What's goi-?
Annette: Give me that computer!
Chandler: No, crazy lady!
Mike starts to sit down on the couch.
Chandler: Don't sit there!
Mike: Why not?
Chandler: Because. Because…because it's hot lava!
Joey jumps up off of the couch.
Joey: It is?
Chandler: No, freak show! It's a COUCH!
Mike: So…why don't you want me to sit on it?
Chandler: Something very bad happened on that couch.
Annette gasps and hits Joey.
Joey: Ow!
Annette: You TOLD him?
Chandler: No, he blogged it.
Annette: YOU BLOGGED THAT TO THE INTERNET?
Joey: Well, he…I…
Annette: Hey, everyone?
Heads turn to Annette.
Annette: How many of you here read Joey Tribbiani's blog?
Numerous hands rise up.
Annette: I'm Yasmine Bleeth.
Annette turns to Joey.
Annette: Enjoy your fame, superstar.
Annette stomps to the door. Applause is heard.
Annette: Oh, shut up!
Annette leaves.
Mike: I don't know what just happened here…
Scene ends and opens in Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting on the couch, reading a magazine. Enter Ross.
Ross: Hey.
Rachel: Hey. How was work?
Ross: It was fine. No one pranked me today.
Ross turns to the counter, revealing paint stripes down the back of his pants. Rachel begins giggling.
Ross: What?
Rachel: Are you, um…are you sure you didn't get pranked today?
Ross: Yeah. Why?
Rachel: Go look in the mirror, honey.
Ross exits to the bathroom. Enter Ross a moment later, fuming.
Ross: Dammit, this was my best pair of pants!
Rachel: Don't worry; I'll get you a new pair tomorrow.
Ross: Thanks.
Rachel: Provided I can find a pair with paint stripes on the back…
Ross: Oh, very funny!
Ross begins tickling Rachel. Rachel laughs.
Rachel (laughing): Ross! Quit it!
Ross: Say dinosaurs are cool!
Rachel: No!
Ross continues to tickle Rachel. Rachel turns around and kisses Ross passionately. Ross breaks away.
Rachel: What?
Ross: Where's Emma?
Rachel: With your mom and dad.
Ross: Okay, good.
Rachel: Why?
Ross: I was afraid we were gonna get interrupted again.
Rachel: Nope, no one here but us.
Ross kisses Rachel. Enter Annette.
Annette: The NERVE of that guy!
Ross: Man, I cannot catch a BREAK here!
Rachel: Sorry, honey. (to Annette) What happened?
Annette: My stupid boyfriend blogged to the entire Internet about our sex life, that's what happened!
Annette sits down on the couch in a huff.
Ross: Won't you come in?
Annette glares at Ross.
Rachel: Honey, I know you're frustrated, but let me deal with this first.
Ross: Fine. I'm gonna go talk to Joey.
Annette: Yeah, go get details from him. You men are all the same.
Ross: Or, you know, staying here is good, too.
Annette: I'm sorry, Ross. It's just…I can't believe he'd do something like this.
Ross: I don't think he meant to embarrass, or hurt you with this blog. If anything, I think he's proud of his relationship with you, and wanted to show that to everyone. He just went at it the wrong way.
Annette: How do you know?
Rachel: Okay, Annette? We've known you for 2 years now. We've known Joey for 12. You're the first committed relationship he's ever been in in all the time we've known him. Sure, he's dated quite a few people, but you're the first one he's ever been serious about.
Annette: What about you?
Rachel: The first one he's ever been serious about.
Scene changes to the hallway. Joey is standing by the door, listening in.
Ross: Don't you think you may have overreacted a little?
Annette: Maybe, but it was EMBARRASSING. Sure, the tips were good, but I just want him to take it down. I don't need THAT kind of reputation.
Scene changes to the hallway. Joey steps away and enters apartment 19. Scene changes back to Ross and Rachel's apartment.
Annette: I also don't want people thinking my boyfriend and I are like you two.
Rachel: Hey! What's that supposed to mean?
Annette: Oh, come off it. You two are worse than a pair of rabbits. I heard you guys going at it in the closet last Tuesday.
Ross: Uh…we weren't at the coffee shop last Tuesday.
Annette: You weren't?
Ross: No. I had an evening class, and Rachel was watching Emma. But Mike and Phoebe were visiting while you were working.
Annette shrieks and begins smacking her forehead.
Annette: AUGH! I don't need that mental image, thank you!
Ross: Sorry.
Rachel: Listen, you wanna get Joey back for the blog thing?
Annette: Do you even have to ask?
Rachel: Okay, here's my idea.
Rachel leans over and begins whispering in Annette's ear. Scene ends and opens in Central Perk. Monica is sitting on the couch. Enter Phoebe.
Phoebe: You bitch!
Monica: Excuse me?
Phoebe: No one at your work has a daughter whose birthday is coming up! You lied to me!
Monica: And you kept my bag! Give it back!
Phoebe: No! It's mine!
Monica and Phoebe begin slapping each other. Enter Chandler and Mike.
Monica: It's mine! Give it back!
Phoebe: No! You gave it to me!
Chandler: I gave up courtside seats for THIS?
Mike: I gave up having to listen to Ross lecture to see my wife fighting with yours.
Chandler: Lucky bastard…
Monica: Chandler, tell her that bag is mine and she should give it back!
Phoebe: Mike, tell her that she's being selfish and that bag is mine because she gave it to me!
Chandler: Which is worse: this, or listening to Ross lecture?
A pause.
Chandler and Mike: Ross.
Monica: Well?
Mike: Ladies, we have here, the bag in question.
Mike pulls the bag out from behind his back.
Phoebe: What're you doing with it?
Chandler: We are going to settle this like they did in biblical times.
Monica: You're gonna feed it to a lion in the middle of a coliseum full of people?
Mike: What? No! Where the hell did you get THAT idea at?
Monica: …nowhere.
Chandler: You were watching Ben-Hur again last night, weren't you?
Monica: Hey, Charlton Heston has a sexy chest! I'd leave you in 2 seconds for him!
Chandler: He's DEAD.
Monica: Okay, I'd leave you in 2 seconds for his YOUNGER self.
Chandler: What, are you gonna ride beside him on a horse, as he waves a rifle screaming about "damn dirty apes!"?
Phoebe: Okay, before you Bings start arguing about which Heston is hotter, since we all know the OLDER one is, what do you plan to do to the bag?
Chandler: Hey, Gunther. You got a pair of scissors back there?
Gunther: Why, you planning to cut something?
Chandler: No, I thought I'd go jogging with the pointy end up to see how many times I could stab myself.
Gunther: I think I have a pair of blunt edge ones I keep back here for when Joey needs a pair…
Chandler: Just give me the scissors!
Gunther hands Chandler a pair of scissors. Chandler walks back toward Mike, grumbling.
Chandler: Compare me to Joey…
Monica: What are you doing with those?
Mike: WE are going to split this bag down the middle, so you both can have half.
Monica: What? Why?
Chandler: Because Mike and I are tired of listening to you two call each other names at home!
Phoebe: You were calling me names?
Monica: You were being mean?
Monica and Phoebe begin slapping each other.
Chandler: Hey!
Monica and Phoebe turn to Chandler.
Chandler: If I wanted to see girls fighting, I would've gone over to Joey's place.
Mike: Let's just Solomon this thing.
Chandler begins cutting the bag.
Monica: No, stop!
Monica turns to Phoebe.
Monica: Phoebe, I'm sorry I called you names. You can have the bag.
Phoebe: Thanks, Monica. And I'm sorry for being mean.
Monica and Phoebe hug. Chandler leans toward Mike.
Chandler: That was totally arousing.
Mike: We should've thrown Jell-O on them.
Scene ends and opens in Joey and Annette's apartment. Joey is sitting in his chair, typing on the computer. Enter Annette.
Annette: Hey.
Joey: Hey.
Annette: What're you doing?
Joey: Taking down the last blog entry.
Annette: Why?
Joey: I, uh…kind of overheard you talking to Ross and Rachel.
Annette: Joey…
Joey: I'm sorry about embarrassing you, Annette. It's just…I've never been with someone like you, before. I'm sort of feeling my way along, trying to figure out what's right and what's not.
Annette: I know. And I did overreact a little. I'll admit, the tips from the customers were pretty good. But honey, you just need to realize: I'm trying to move away from that kind of life. I don't mind you being happy about being with me, but I DO mind when you share our sex life on the Internet with people. Or worse, Chandler.
Joey: Okay. I won't do that again. So are we good?
Annette: Yeah, we're good.
Joey and Annette hug.
Joey: I'm gonna go take a shower.
Annette: Yeah, you smell like you need one.
Joey bumps his fists together. Annette giggles.
Annette: I'm going out with Rachel. We're gonna go see a movie.
Joey: Okay.
Joey exits to the bathroom. A few minutes later, water is heard running, as Joey starts singing. Annette leaves to the hallway, and knocks on the door to apartment 20. Enter Rachel.
Rachel: We all set?
Annette: Yeah, he's in the shower. Where's Ross?
Rachel: Shower. Come on.
Rachel and Annette leave down the stairs. Scene changes to the exterior of the apartment complex. Numerous yells are heard. Scene changes to the hallway outside apartment 1. Enter Rachel and Annette.
Annette: And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is how it's done.
Rachel: You think Ross and Joey will be pissed we shut off the hot water?
Annette: Who cares? They're men. This is Girl's Night Out.
Annette blows on the wrench in her hand, as Rachel laughs. Credits roll.
CREDITS SCENE
Scene opens in Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting at the table, reading a magazine. Enter Ross.
Ross: Hey.
Rachel: Hey. How was class today?
Ross: A lot better today. Prank Week is finally over. At the SCHOOL, anyway…
Rachel laughs.
Rachel: I'm sorry. But you gotta admit, that WAS rather funny.
Ross: Yeah. SO funny, I ran out in a towel to see how many other people were laughing.
Rachel: And you looked sexy, too.
Ross: Really?
Rachel: Mm hm.
Rachel wraps her arms around Ross's neck and begins to kiss him.
Ross: Where's Emma?
Rachel: With Mom.
Ross: Front door?
Rachel: Locked.
Ross: I have to be at the museum in forty-five minutes.
Rachel: Forty-five? There's time.
Ross and Rachel run into their room, and slam the door.