"Do you want a beer?" Sam asked as she pulled her fridge door open. Jack pulled his Jacket off and hung it on her coat rack on his way into the kitchen. He smiled at the sight of her struggling with the case in the fridge and trying to pull two bottles from its grip, while her arm was in the sling.
"Here" he gestured as he stepped into the kitchen and placed his hands over the bottles, taking them out of her hands. He pulled the two bottles easily and popped the lids as he placed them on the bench. He smiled warmly as he placed the rest of the Guinness beers back in the fridge.
"What have you got the sling for anyway?" he asked as he picked up one of the bottles and brought it to his lips.
"Janet doesn't want me to pull my stitches" she smiled as she did the same and then moved into the lounge room, letting him follow.
"She say when you'd be able to return to active duty?" he asked as he eased onto the couch beside her.
"It shouldn't be long; I'll probably be cleared for off world travel before you guys get your hormone levels back to normal with the supplements Janet has you on." She teased while Jack groaned
"Bloody pills" he cursed as he took a large gulp of the beer and then sighed as the cool liquid slid down his throat "they don't even kill pain" it sounded like a whine which made Sam laugh as she rested back against the couch, lifting her feet up on to the coffee table. Jack took in the look of her, a little relaxed, finally after so much intense tension.
-
"Janet!" Daniels pleading eyes had spoke volumes as she rushed up to his apartment door "god Janet…" he'd gulped as he looked back into the apartment, Janet already at Sam's side and taking over for Jack.
"Sam, can you hear me?" Janet asked as she pressed one hand to her wound and the other to her pulse. Her eyes shot up to Jacks. "Colonel…" Jack had never seen terror in Janet's expression before then "she's close"
"Do something" Jacks voice trembled with his shortening breath as he silently pleaded with her "please"
"Oh no, I'm not letting her go with out a fight"
-
He'd never felt as scared as he did when he saw the blood. She could have died, should have died. But luckily it was Janet's genius that saved her. The petite doctor had come prepared for anything and had done most of the work in Daniels apartment, before moving her back to base. If it hadn't been for Janet's quick thinking, Sam wouldn't be here, stretched out beautifully on the couch before him, looking somewhat relaxed and safe. "They'll pay off in the long run" he finished as he silently thanked his lucky stars that Sam hadn't been the one they had buried today.
-
"Doctor I think she's awake" Sam's eyes had burned as the light hit her. The nurse's call had woken Jack as he lifted his head from the edge of the bed
"Sam?" he asked carefully, his fingers gently squeezed around her hand.
-
Why that was, he didn't know. Sara had been his wife. Sara had been the mother of his child and had been the woman he loved for so many years. Why then, now would the very thought of losing Sam stress him far beyond that of what the knowledge of Sara's death did. Perhaps it came part and parcel with what he did to her. Perhaps it was some deep seeded guilt and need to rectify the situation before she died.
Perhaps it had been in what they'd said to each other before she'd passed out.
-
"I'm alive" the murmured statement had come in a gasp as her eyes met his. His thumb stroked along hers delicately as he smiled weakly, his eyes threatening to expose the truth of his emotion.
"Yeah" he whispered with the smile "You made it"
-
"What is your current thought process?" Sam grinned impersonating Thor. Jack shook himself from his thoughts and lifted his gaze to hers.
"Um… nothing" he coughed as he sat up on the couch.
"Right…" she drew out the word with a smile and drank a large amount of the beer into her mouth.
"I was um… Just thinking how lucky we were" He replied and she looked to him expectantly over swallowing the beer "That Janet was able to fix you" he smiled as she bit her lip. "I was scared there for a little while" his voice carrying a hint of fear as Sam nodded exhaling heavily.
"You weren't the only one" she muttered as she sucked the last of her beer down her throat and placed the bottle down on the table.
-
"Janet?" Sam asked in a daze, her vision blurred as she looked up at the doctor standing over the cot she lay on "where am I?" the rattling of the wheels grated against her senses as they seemed to rush down a base corridor. "Where's Daniel?" she asked suddenly frightened "and Ja…" the darkness consumed her again.
-
She waited for a moment and then moved to the kitchen fridge for another. Jack eyed her empty bottle carefully and looked at his half full one and then looked up to see her enter with another.
"Carter?" he cleared his throat as she sat down. "I know it's ridiculous to expect you to just forget what I did…" he spoke as she turned to him with a startled expression "I understand if you feel awkward around me…" he continued as he watched her fingers grip and clamp around the cushion she was pressed up against.
"No" she jumped in and then winced "I mean, yes I do sort of still feel confused about how I feel, but I'm ok with it…" she hesitated as he raised his eyebrows at her. Her fingers relaxed and she smiled "well obviously I'm not ok with it. I just mean that, I trust you" she finished as she nervously lifted the new bottle to her mouth, signaling an end to the conversation. Jack watched her throat move with the liquid as she drank and then he let out a low growl. Sam took the bottle away from her lips and held eye contact with him, silently daring him to speak.
"Ok, then why the sudden thirst?" he asked gesturing towards her bottle with his.
"Thirsty" she shrugged and Jack pulled a half hearted smile.
-
"Jack!" Daniel exclaimed as Jack finally answered the phone.
"What Daniel?" Jack barked down the line as he gripped the edge of his kitchen wall to support himself. Daniel frowned as he listened to Jacks heavy breathing.
"Um I was just calling to ask if you knew when Sam was getting out" Daniel explained hesitantly as an incoherent sound of annoyance came through the line "Janet ushered me out as soon as I walked in, but I know you were at her side through out the night…"
"What's your point Daniel?" Jack asked impatiently as he pressed himself against the wall and sucked the rest of his beer down his throat and then placed the empty bottle beside a few others on the bench.
"I guess I figured you might know… are you drunk?" Daniel asked sounding offended and disgusted. Jack groaned as he slumped down to the floor.
"I have been a lot Daniel, you know this" Jack growled back "Sara's funeral's tomorrow"
"And that excuses it?!"
-
They sat there for a long time, awkwardly surveying the room as they drank. Finally Jack placed his drink down and turned back to her.
"Are you sure about this?" he asked wiping his palms on his thighs anxiously.
"This?" she queried, blue eyes peering up at him, as she placed her beer down beside his. Jack looked at her puzzled features and hesitated before shifting a fraction closer. Sam consciously pulled back and Jack winced as he dropped his head.
"Trusting me" he explained, sounding defeated. Sam hesitated for a moment and then lifted his chin with her forefinger. As Jack looked up he was met with the softest of smiles as she nodding her head. Jack's lips attempted to curve into a smile but defied him as they formed a subtle frown.
"Because if I were you, I'd hate me" he finally smiled jokingly but she understood and held a weak smile in return
"You do" she told him as she swallowed back a wave of emotion with it "you hate yourself over it" she explained and the smile dropped from his features.
"I um… well." he drew in a gasp of air "well yeah, I do" he admitted as she nodded and gently placed her hand on his knee.
"Its part of why I trust you again" she told him honestly as she bit her bottom lip and locked eyes with him. "When I was bleeding, and you were trying to slow it. I knew I wasn't far off and it scared the hell out of me" She started as Jack gripped her hand hearing the pain in her voice "I didn't think I'd make it" she continued, seemingly unaware of the contact "I couldn't die like that. I just couldn't let you go on hating yourself and never knowing…" she paused as she felt his other hand reach around to her back and gently pull her closer to him. She resisted momentarily but eventually dropped her head to his shoulder. They stayed there for a long moment, breathing in the sent of each other.
"I know Sam" Jack finally spoke reassuringly as he held her in his arms, stroking her back gently "I've always known" he whispered into her ear and she pulled back from him, just far enough to capture his lips with her own.
Startled, Jack's eyes flew open as he felt her hot mouth on his. He didn't resist, but remained frozen in the position.
She needed this. They needed this. Sam shifted her weight as she pressed her lips against his more firmly. Jack's hands were the first to respond as they lifted to the small of her back and she leant into him, trailing her tongue over his lips, demanding entrance. Jacks lips parted finally as he allowed her entrance. She reacted by intensifying the kiss, shifting her weight on top of him and pressing him back against the corner of the couch as she ran her uninjured hand through his clipped hair.
Jack let out a guttural groan as his hand unconsciously slipped under her silk blouse and found warm bare skin.
"Sam…" he moaned as she pressed her self against his chest. They really shouldn't be doing this. "Carter stop" he gently pushed her back, ending the kiss. "You don't want to be doing this" he told her warningly as she closed her eyes.
"Jack…" she sighed as she dropped her head to his chest in defeat "too much has happened for me to be worried about regulations" she finally whispered as her heavy breath echoed in Jacks mind. He closed his eyes with the pinch that incited.
"Do you really want to start this, after what I did…" he surprised himself as he looked into her eyes with a concerned need for her to understand. "I don't want this to just be some need for release over what I did" he explained as she lifted herself off of him, self consciously straightening her blouse, and smiled. She nodded hesitantly and then shifted back to the other side of the couch.
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize…" she paused "I mean I should have realized you'd be confused, since you're still affected by the chemical." She smiled sadly as she pushed off of the couch shakily and moved to take her two bottles into the kitchen when he grasped her healthy wrist.
"You know how I feel" he spoke as he stood up to her level. She genuinely smiled at that as she turned to him. "It's just that, while you may trust me again, and you may have forgiven me…" he hesitated as her smile settled into a blank expression "…I don't think I can trust or forgive myself" he explained as her gaze held him warmly and she shifted closer slightly, in an odd form of reassurance "I love you" he told her suddenly as though it was an urgent need for her to understand. A red blush rose to her cheeks as she rested her chin on his shoulder, letting him pull her into a tight embrace once again.
"Yes sir" she laughed and he growled at her for it.
"You really know how to kill a mood, Major" he grinned at her as she stifled a laugh by biting her lip.
"Yes sir" she grinned before taking a step back and out of his reach. He raised an eyebrow at her and pulled a half smirk.
"I take it, we're good?" he asked carefully as she chewed on the side of her cheek.
"Getting there" she admitted finally, folding her arms over her chest. Jack watched her curiously as she seemed to dance hesitantly inside her mind, her eyes lifting and falling as the red burned steadily in her cheeks.
"Carter?" he asked breaking her from her trance "something else?" he guessed while he brought his bottle to his lips, filling the void as he awaited her response.
"I kissed Daniel" she admitted as Jack's eyes widened, looking up past the bottle with a startled expression. He froze registering this and draining his bottle.
It was at that moment that a knock broke the silence.
Sam closed her eyes in regret and moved to the door as Jack waited idly in the lounge room.
A moment later, Sam returned with Janet at her side, Daniel following cautiously and Teal'c at his heels.
-
AN: Increadably apologetic for the extream lateness... my final year of highschool is wrapping up now and everything is due... I've been writting this between assignments literally!