To Becca.

I have been writing Stargate fanfiction for the better half of two years and I have seen every episode of Stargate SG1 at least twice. I own every season and am WELL aware that Jack could nor would ever do this. This is one of the reasons I have found this story difficult to write. If you had read the story properly you probably would have realised that this story is about that very fact that he has done something UNFORGIVABLE and completely out of character.

I'm actually a Jack/Sam shipper and this is the first story I have ever written for Stargate where anything like this happens. I don't ENJOY rape. I sincerely HOPE I wouldn't. And I really don't appreciate you slandering this fic because you disagree with the concept. We all disagree with the concept and if any of you didn't then I'd be quite disturbed that you were reading this.

In truth I'm only writing this because of the reviews asking that I do so. It is a very difficult topic, but I enjoy a challenge. I hope that there are more people wanting this story to continue then those not. As I'd really rather be writing something a little more pleasant, and I hope I'm not wasting my time and words on this.

This story shouldn't be far off completion; but if those reading it would prefer I not complete it, then I could quite easily move on to one of the many others I have pending.

Cheers

Claire.

P.S. to all the other CONSTRUCTIVE critics reading this; I enjoy reading your reviews, even when they involve nitpicky issues that need changing as it is helpful and the positive feedback spurs me on. Thank you.

Note: if you think this chapter happens to fast… feel free to tell me. I hope it doesn't.

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"So" Sam mimicked the words of Jack as she pressed on into his room, stopping a few feet away from the bed. Jack dropped his head to his blood smeared hands and sucked in a deep breath of air that seemed to turn into a yawn. "Long night?" she asked avoiding the impending conversation.

"Rough night" he spoke as he reached over to pick up the blood splattered pillow.

"Any idea why your nose bled?" she asked rubbing her hand over her slung shoulder. Jack pulled the pillow case off and bundled it in his fist.

"Not really" he shrugged "probably just age" at this she smiled minutely and stepped forward

"You're not old Jack" she tried wincing at the low groan he made at that.

"You don't need to be here Carter, I understand." He told her looking up at her harshly "I hurt you deeply and you needed someone to turn to who wasn't me" he justified as he stepped past her and into the bathroom to dump the pillow case in the hamper along with his shirt and retrieve a fresh one from the linen cupboard, pausing in front of the sink to wash is hands and face.

"That wasn't it Sir" her words coming from behind his shoulder as she stood in the bathroom doorway.

"Wasn't it?" his eyes not looking up from his hands as he spoke indignantly. Sam closed her eyes wishing she hadn't let Daniel drag her down here.

"Do you want me to leave?" she asked in frustration as he dried his hands on the towel beside her. He was far closer to her now then he really should've been, given everything that had happened. He was angry with her and she knew his temper would still be volatile because of that planet, but she also knew he wouldn't do anything to harm her. As much as what he'd done hurt her, it hurt him greatly.

"Do what you want Carter" his eyes meeting hers now, voice low and icy. Seeing an almost wildness in that look, she gripped the door frame tightly, closing her eyes and willing her self to trust him. She waited for a long while, expecting him to push past her but when she opened her eyes, he was standing in front of her. He's eyes were over her shoulder distantly, he seemed to be half heartedly waiting for her to move out of his way, but more so struggling within himself as his mind was lost in his thoughts.

"Jack, I know this isn't about Daniel and me" she whispered, bringing his attention to her and her lips that had formed the words. His eyes lingered on her lips briefly before meeting her eyes.

"I…" he paused, looking over her shoulder again as he constructed the words in his head and then turned back to meet her gaze again. His features carried remorse heavily as he studied her eyes. She was holding eye contact as best she could, but her vision wasn't set on his eyes, her sight was fractionally off as she too was deep in thought. "I'm sorry" he whispered; bring her attention solely on him. She seemed confused for a moment and then shocked as his hands came up to her face, cupping her cheeks.

"Sir" she spoke pulling her head back but not fighting.

He held his hands there, one gently playing with the short strands around her ear. He closed his eyes regrettably, breathing heavily as he tried to think; but then Sam's lips softly touched his.

She was hesitant at first but as he kissed her top lip gently, she seemed to relax and tilt her head up to him, opening her mouth to his as he pulled her closer. The kiss drew out, unbelievably slow and tenderly. Her uninjured hand falling to his hip as his hands travelled her back, arm wrapping around and gripping her shoulder, the other resting on the small of her back as he pulled her to him. The hand on her shoulder moved to the back of her neck, running his fingers through her short strands, while her hand slid fractionally under the waist band of his track suit pants at his hip; her thumb just barely touching the top of his V line as he kissed her.

Jack started to inch her backwards, his fingertips curling up the base of her sweater as he did.

"Jack" she spoke, breaking from the kiss as the backs of her knees touched the edge of the bed. He pulled back, dropping the hand from her neck to her hip as he did. "Is this really a good idea?" she asked, biting her lip as she brought her hands back to her. He dropped his head sighing. He knew she was right and so he nodded as he let his hands fall to his side. She gently sat down on the edge of the bed, looking up at him.

"I just don't know if I'll be able to cope…"she paused, drawing in a deep breath to keep her emotions at bay.

"It's ok Carter" he smiled, lifting her chin "those regulations forbid it anyway" he joked and she smiled, tilting her head so his hand cupped her cheek again. She sighed closing her eyes as she enjoyed the feel of his warm hand holding her face. Jack let her relish in the feel for a while before sitting down beside her on the edge of the bed. He gently touched her knee as he cleared his throat.

"I think I should put in for a transfer" he told her, not expecting the gasp that brought from her.

"No, sir you don't have to…" she started but Jack shook his head.

"Sam, I do" he insisted "things are never going to be the same because of this, and we're both heading straight for a court martial if I don't." he explained as she gripped the material of his tracksuit pants.

"Jack…" she sighed resting her head on his shoulder "please don't" her bright blue eyes looked up at him pleadingly. He had to force himself to turn away just to muster the strength to reply.

"I'm never going to forget that I raped you Sam" his voice cracking slightly as he tried to keep himself together. "I can never forgive myself and you could never forgive me"

"No Jack" she grasped his hand "I think I could" she whispered while he just laughed a sad laugh and shook his head

"No you couldn't" he sighed, kissing her forehead gently. She exhaled heavily as she flattened her hand out o this thigh.

"What about us?" she asked rubbing her thumb along the material. Jack sat in thought for a long moment, wishing he didn't have to think about this consequence. This ache that he knew would only grow worse if he left. But he hoped one day he could ignore it.

"What about us?" he whispered, keeping his eyes away from her. Her uninjured arm slid around his waist in that moment and he braced himself as her breath tickled the back of his neck.

"I love you" the words whispered softly, sending goose bumps through him as he felt a pinch in his chest and closed his eyes, fighting back the tears threatening to spill. Her lips touched the side of his neck briefly and then she dropped her head, breathing heavily as she tried desperately not to cry. "Please Jack" she almost begged. He closed his eyes building up the strength and then turned towards her quickly, placing his hands on her hips and shifting her further up on the bed.

"Jack" she gasped as he lowered her until she lay flat and he lay on top of her. He lent down, seeking out her lips as he took her into another kiss. Wrapping one hand around her waist and bringing the other up to hold her face. She opened her mouth to him, pressing harder against him as she let herself be consumed by the sensations.

Out of breath, he broke the kiss and dropped his forehead to the pillow beneath her.

"God I love you" he managed to admit between breaths and then started trailing kisses along her neck.

Her hand flattened against his chest suddenly and pushed against him. He froze pushing up to see her face. Her lips were red and her eyes intensely gazing into his. He studied her features for any sign of fear and then her lips quirked into a smile.

"Roll over" she whispered and he frowned but obliged as he rolled onto his back and smiled as she rolled on top of him, kicking her heels off as she stretched her body out over his.

"Let me set the pace" she smiled nervously, kissing him gently and then pulling her skirt up enough to allow her thighs to wrap around his.

"Are you sure?" he asked taking hold of her hand and stroking it tentatively. She drew in a deep breath and smiled softly, nodding and then pulling the sweater over her head to reveal the navy camisole.

"Yeah, I am"